


A Curious Kind of Atonement

by Katlou303



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Akatsuki - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Sakura, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Kind of horribly angsty, Mentor/Protégé, Swearing, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-14 12:46:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 92,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2192352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katlou303/pseuds/Katlou303
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just after the Uchiha Massacre, a guilt-stricken Itachi wants to make Sasuke's life better. He meets a pink-haired little girl who seems to adore his little brother. He decides he can atone for his crimes by keeping her alive, and so decides to train her in secret. ItaSakuSasu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Itachi often found himself watching his little brother. Akatsuki rarely needed him, so he had a lot of free time to fill, in which he usually sought out Sasuke to see how he'd progressed. Tonight he found him training alone, repeatedly punching a post over and over again until his knuckles split and bled.

Itachi sat in a tree, high above his little brother, watching him. It was dark. Itachi couldn't help remembering that right about now a few months ago Sasuke would be tucked up in bed with his loving mother reading him a story, his world still intact, his brother still his hero. But those were dangerous thoughts. Itachi narrowed his eyes and activated his Sharingan, observing Sasuke's movements.

But it appeared that Sasuke had been thinking something similar to Itachi. He looked up at the moon, knuckles spilling blood onto the grass. He glared upwards at the sky in challenge, and raised one bloody fist in a silent promise. Itachi could almost hear the words Sasuke was thinking. I will get stronger, and I will kill you.

There was no mother to gently scold Sasuke for coming home late, no brother to expertly clean his wounds, no father to pat his head in pride.

Itachi had never seen such a dark expression on his little brother's face.

Slowly, Sasuke packed up his weapons into a little bag and hauled it onto his back, wincing at the weight of it. He made his way back to his new flat where he lived alone, to bathe and dress his wounds and go to bed. He was a tiny little figure, slowly trudging home. Itachi closed his eyes. What a monster I am, he thought.

He was about to leave when something caught his eye.

A young girl, about Sasuke's age, was peering around a tree. She was too young to have a chakra signature, which was why Itachi hadn't noticed her before.

She waited until Sasuke had gone, then ran up to the post he had been attacking. Itachi watched in bemusement as she picked up a bandage Sasuke had forgotten and put it in her bag, but not before beaming at it like a proud mother hen. Her young face was chubby, her cheeks were pink from the cold and her eyes were large and green.

It appeared Itachi had missed one person who cared about Sasuke.

He dropped down from the tree silently, hand on his kunai. He removed it, shaking his head. There was no point in killing an innocent little girl who was likely to never affect Sasuke's life.

She was busily wiping the post down, removing all traces of Sasuke's blood.

Itachi raised one eyebrow in question. Did this little girl watch Sasuke train every night and clean up after him? If so, why?

There was no harm in asking, providing the little girl didn't recognise him. He walked towards her, making sure he made as much noise as a civilian would.

Her head snapped up and she took a step back as he approached.

Her eyes widened in alarm.

He held his hands up slowly, showing his lack of weapons. It was a shinobi signal that showed a stranger they meant no harm. To a little pink-haired civilian girl, it looked as though he was trying to grab her.

She screamed.

Itachi covered her mouth with his hand, gently. He could not allow her to draw attention to himself.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." Itachi said quietly. The little girl's heart was racing, "See?" He let her go slowly.

"Who are you?" She asked in her childish voice, rubbing her mouth.

"No one important." Itachi replied, "Who are you?"

"Haruno Sakura." She said trustingly. Itachi realised it was probably his physical similarities to Sasuke that had gained her trust so quickly.

"How old are you?"

Sakura thought about it, and then raised six fingers with a wide, toothy grin, "Six!" She proclaimed.

"Are you an Academy Student?" He asked.

"Yes!" Sakura grinned, "Watch me! Watch what I can do!" She squealed.

She flipped over and walked around on her hands, "I learnt this today!" She said breathlessly.

Itachi tugged her upright. He could not converse with her when she wasn't the right way up.

"Do you know that boy who was here before?" Itachi asked, his dark eyes narrowing.

"You mean Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's face suddenly turned bright red, "He's the best in my year! He's really smart and strong!"

"Wow," Itachi said tonelessly, "You must like him very much."

"I do! I love Sasuke-kun." She said sincerely, her eyes shining with emotion, "I want to marry him some day!"

When he had returned to Konoha to check on his little brother... he had not expected to find this. If Sasuke ever returned this girl's affections, would that hinder his progress? No... Itachi mused, she would be a ninja like him. If anything, Sakura might be good for him.

As he looked into Sakura's apple-green, innocent eyes, he felt a surge of anger. When he was two years younger than this little girl, he had witnessed the Third Shinobi World War, which had changed him forever. Would this girl be called to fight, aged six, with her innocent, trusting nature? If so, would she stay as a cheerful little girl, or would she be forced to mature beyond her years, just as he and Sasuke had done?

He had graduated from the Academy just one year older than what Sakura was now.

Was it a blessing to be a genius? Would Sakura grow up being used by everyone around her? Would Sasuke?

Itachi despised war, and the ninja way.

"He likes tomatoes." Itachi said to Sakura, reminiscing about his past.

"What? Who does?"

"Sasuke." Itachi replied, "Most boys his age do. Give him some tomatoes, and he will like you for it."

"Really?" Sakura beamed, "Great! I'll make him a bento. My mummy taught me how! She said I'm good at it!"

Itachi patted Sakura's head, almost smiling when she pouted. Almost automatically, he poked her forehead, just as he used to do with Sasuke.

She covered her forehead with her hands and glared at him, "Are you making fun of my forehead?" She said indignantly.

Itachi said nothing, just quirked an eyebrow.

"Everyone thinks I have a big forehead. Ami... Ami calls me Forehead Girl." Sakura said tearfully, "And then everyone laughs at me."

Sighing, Itachi bent down until his face was level with hers. "Don't cry, Sakura-chan. Ninja don't cry, do they?"

Sakura just sniffed, tears welling up in her eyes.

Itachi removed her hands and examined her forehead. It wasn't that big at all. Kids were cruel.

"No," He said thoughtfully, "It isn't too big."

Sakura blinked, "Really?"

"No. It looks average sized to me. You just ignore the other kids. They're jealous."

"Jealous of what?"

Itachi poked her forehead once more, "I bet they have ugly foreheads, don't they? Don't worry. Yours is fine."

It was obviously the right thing to say. Sakura's face flushed with pleasure and she beamed at him.

"Thank you! Hey! You never said how old you are!" Sakura said indignantly.

"Me?" Itachi said slowly. There was a gust of wind that sent the leaves rustling, "I'm thirteen."

"Wow, that's old. Are you a genin?"

Itachi nearly laughed. By rights he should be a genin, at home with his family, no dark conspiracies or murder plots.

Instead, he was a murderer of his own kind.

"Hmm," He said noncommittally, "I am a ninja. I can help you with some techniques, if you'd like."

He was taken aback when she shouted, "Yes! Yes, please! Please teach me!" Her bright eyes were eager.

What would this little girl think of him, if she knew who he really was, what he had done?

She'd think him a monster. And she would be right.

But perhaps this was a chance to do something right. To teach this child how to survive. To keep the light in Sasuke's life alive. It was the least he could do for his beloved little brother.

"Fine," He closed his eyes, resigned, "I'll teach you."


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was just rising when Sakura eventually showed up, running as fast as she could into the Nara Forest. Itachi was waiting at the base of a large, gnarled oak tree. She stopped when she reached him, panting.

"You're late, Sakura." Itachi said coldly.

"Sorry, sensei! My mum woke up when I snuck out of bed; I had to wait for her to fall asleep." Sakura explained.

Itachi grunted in acceptance of her excuse and jerked his head towards the tree behind him, "Can you climb this?"

Sakura's large eyes scanned the tree's bulk. She looked down at herself. "No, sensei. I'm too small."

"Wrong," Itachi said, "Size doesn't account for anything in the ninja world. Tell me, can you pump chakra to your feet?"

"Yes." Sakura said without hesitation.

"Do it. Put one foot on the tree like this," He demonstrated, "And walk up."

"Aren't you going to show me how?" Sakura asked, confused.

"I've told you what to do. You don't need me to hold your hand and help you climb a tree. Do it."

Sakura frowned, intelligent eyes measuring the tree's width and length. She looked at her tiny feet.

She concentrated, pushing all of her chakra down to her feet. They throbbed in response to the sudden chakra overload.

"Well done." Itachi said with a slight smile. Sakura had caught on quicker than he expected, "Now climb."

Her foot looked silly when she placed it on the tree, but she followed through, picturing her feet sticking to the bark with her chakra. The transition from ground to tree happened smoothly. Sakura simply walked up the tree.

Itachi's smile grew.

"Like this?" She asked, turning around to face Itachi, both feet firmly glued to the tree.

"Yes. You learn quickly. Keep it up." Itachi frowned suddenly, "I wonder… what subjects are you best at in your school?"

"Genjutsu and academic." Sakura said, "My chakra control is good and I'm the best in my class when it comes to learning."

"Better than that Sasuke boy you talked about before?" Itachi asked carefully.

"I guess." Sakura shrugged.

"Right. Sakura. I need you to do something for me. I need you to talk to a woman named Yuhi Kurenai. She's a genjutsu expert. I believe she was promoted to jounin recently. Ask her to tutor you in genjustu. I can help you learn how to dispel genjutsu, but the type of genjutsu I use is too difficult for you to learn at the moment." Itachi said. Kurenai had been a chuunin when he knew her, but he had always admired her genjutsu capabilities. Sakura could learn well from her.

"OK." Sakura nodded obediently.

"I will focus on improving your stamina and your taijutsu. How are you in one-to-one combat?"

Sakura blushed. "Bad. Very bad."

"I see. Then we will begin with the basics." Itachi said leniently.

Sakura looked relieved.

"Hit me." Itachi said.

"Sensei?" Sakura said, puzzled.

Itachi did not repeat himself.

Sakura set her face in a determined frown and charged.

She was on the floor in seconds.

Itachi had barely moved, and yet she was sprawled on the ground.

Sakura fought the urge to cry when her wounds began to sting.

"Good." Itachi said tonelessly.

She pushed herself up off the ground, determined not to give up. If she became a strong ninja, Sasuke would like her. That was what she had promised herself.

Even at six years old, Sakura's stamina was awful. A few minutes of sparring had her panting for breath.

"Stop." Itachi finally commanded.

Sakura lurched to a halt.

"Sakura, is there anything that drives you to fight?" Itachi asked. Without something to aim for, Sakura would never really reach her full potential. Itachi himself had nothing driving him to fight. He hated every battle and hoped it would be over as quickly as possible. His pacifist nature made it almost impossible to be a ninja.

"Sasuke-kun." Sakura whispered, wiping her face.

Itachi closed his eyes. He rarely lost his composure, but seeing this girl care so much about his poor little brother was… emotive. There was one thing Itachi used to drive himself. It seemed as though he and Sakura had something in common.

"And why do you like him so much?" Itachi asked.

"He is alone, like me." Sakura said, almost as though she was talking to herself. Her smile was wistful, "I don't have any friends, and he doesn't want any. So we're always alone at playtime. That's... that's why I noticed him."

Itachi's stomach clenched.

"Picture his face when you fight. Pretend you are fighting each battle to protect him." Itachi said.

Sakura nodded, her little face grim.

Itachi smiled. He knew what would get Sakura fired up to fight.

He cast a genjutsu, a weak illusory technique that any genin could see through.

Suddenly, Sasuke tottered up to them. He was covered with cuts and bruises, his face desperate with fear.

"Sakura-chan!" Sasuke cried, staggering, "Please – please help me!"

Sakura gritted her teeth.

She raised her hands, "Kai!" She shouted.

Itachi blinked, taken aback. Sakura had seen through his technique and had repelled it.

Sakura's face screwed up in effort, her eyebrows drawing sharply together, her jaw clenched.

Itachi's sharp eyes caught sight of the illusion flickering into place.

Sakura was attempting to recreate the jutsu Itachi had used against her, from memory, from scratch, having never done it before. At six years old. Perhaps Itachi truly had stumbled upon another genius.

Sasuke flickered into view, a perfect mirror image of the illusion Itachi had created. Itachi stared at the bleeding, desperate vision of his little brother, and broke the genjutsu abruptly.

Sakura panted and fell, exhausted. Itachi caught her easily.

"I didn't tell you to repel my jutsu, or to recreate it." Itachi said sternly, "But, well done. Who taught you how to do that?"

She looked up at him with a wide, smug grin, "I did. I read a book and it showed you how to do it."

So, she was self-taught. The sooner she went to go see Yuhi the better. Her genjutsu skills could be even more advanced than he had suspected.

"A girl spoke to me today." Sakura said suddenly, beaming.

"What?" Itachi frowned. What had that got to do with anything?

"She said I shouldn't hide my forehead with my fringe. She said I should show it off. Then I wouldn't be bullied anymore."

What awful advice, Itachi thought to himself. Sakura's forehead was average-sized, but showing it off would just give the bullies more material to mock Sakura with.

"Talk to Yuhi, Sakura. She'll help you." Itachi said wearily. He wasn't the person to go to when you had emotional problems. He was a missing nin, and he had never been the most social of thirteen year olds, even before the massacre. He only knew how to repress and hide emotion.

"OK! Um, sensei… is it alright if I tell my mummy where I go when I come to train with you? She'll get worried if I don't…" Sakura mumbled.

"No," Itachi said sharply. Sakura may not see him for the murderer he is but her mother certainly would, "Tell her you are with a friend."

Sakura peeked up at him through the pink strands of hair covering her eyes and said shyly, "Are you my friend, sensei?"

Itachi felt amused. How wonderful it would be, to be thirteen and to have friends... How amazing to be a genin, going on missions with friends, coming home to a welcoming family, not living on the run, bearing the burden of your village's hatred.

"I'm your teacher, Sakura. I'm just here to help you." Itachi said, ignoring the melancholic tone colouring his words. He felt the loneliness then all too keenly – the knowledge that his new home was a hideout for criminals and his new family were monsters.

Sakura mulled that over for a while and then looked up, her eyes bright and intelligent, "Why are you teaching me, sensei?"

To keep you alive and give Sasuke some of the happiness I robbed from him, Itachi thought.

"I sensed that you had potential, Sakura. I didn't want to see it going to waste." Itachi said. It wasn't exactly a lie, though he hadn't truly noticed her potential until she reversed his genjutsu.

It made Sakura smile unreservedly, chirping, "thank you, sensei!"

Itachi looked at the sun with a calculating eye, "You should be able to find Yuhi now. She'll most likely be on a mission, but you should still ask around the village for her."

"OK!" Sakura agreed brightly.

She set off at a run and then hesitated. She turned back and hugged Itachi quickly around the waist. Itachi froze.

"Thank you for believing in me, sensei." Sakura said quietly. She released him and ran off.

Itachi breathed out sharply when she left. She reminded him of Sasuke so much… her fawning adoration, her easy displays of affection, her wide, proud grins…

He climbed a tree easily and sat down on a thick branch, wiping away the excess leaves and moss. It was dangerous, visiting Konoha so much, but how could he stop? He could just ensure that Sakura had enough skill to defend herself, and then he would be back to full concentration, able to do his duty to his village.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura ran through the village. She stood out from the crowd with her pink hair and the many cuts and bruises adorning her skin. She didn't care about the pain that running brought her. She had a sensei! Her very own sensei!

She skidded and came to a halt when she saw a few jounin hanging around the ramen shop.

"Excuse me, please, is there, do you know…" Sakura stammered, mixing up her words. There were three jounin and they were all staring at her.

"What is it, young one? Are you lost? Are you in need of assistance from Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey?" A very large man in green boomed at her, his eyebrows alarmingly large and his teeth abnormally shiny.

Sakura shrank away from him in fear.

"You're scaring the poor girl, Gai." The single woman amongst the three of them scolded. She was very beautiful, her dark hair fell in waves and her eyes were piercingly red.

"What's up?" The last man asked. His face was covered by a dark mask and his hair was silver, like an old man, despite his voice's obvious youth.

"I… I… Do you know where Yuhi Kurenai-san is?" Sakura managed to say despite her embarrassment from having grown-ups stare at her.

The two men looked at the woman they were with.

"That's me," Kurenai said seriously, "Did someone have a message for me?"

"P-Please train me in genjutsu!" Sakura cried out.

Kurenai blinked, "What? I'm not a sensei yet. I can't train you."

"But… but you're the best in the village." Sakura said, despairing. If she returned to her sensei without Kurenai's training, would he be disappointed in her?

"Who said that?" Kurenai asked sharply.

The masked man scratched his head, puzzled.

"Everyone says it." Sakura said, lying smoothly. Her sensei may not approve of using such underhand tactics in order to secure Kurenai's help, but it was all Sakura could do. Especially when the large green man with the eyebrows kept grinning at her.

"They do?" Kurenai's eyebrows shot up. She looked as though she was trying to suppress her pleasure at the compliment.

The masked man coughed, "It doesn't matter how good your teacher is, kid. You're only what, five, six? Genjutsu is complicated. You have to have excellent chakra control and high intelligence."

"That's true. I'm sorry, I'd teach you if you could – " Kurenai began to say before she was interrupted.

Sakura's hands formed the seal she had watched her sensei make.

The masked man pulled down his mask slightly, revealing both eyes. One of them was scarred, and blood red.

A clone of Kurenai walked over to them, mimicking the posture of the jounin. She was a perfect copy of the real thing, only a slight waver in her appearance where Sakura had not quite got her eyes right.

"Wow." Kurenai said, eyes wide. She put her hand out to touch her clone. Her hand when through it, "It's not a clone, just an illusion. But a clever one! Who on earth taught you that?"

The pupil in the masked man's red eye began to spin around as he stared at Sakura.

"I read it in a book!" Sakura said defensively.

"You taught yourself how to project perfect illusions?" Kurenai said flatly, "At your age?"

Sakura nodded firmly.

"Well, I admire your resolve, seeking genjutsu training at such a young age. I might be able to pass on some techniques to you."

"Really?" Sakura said, beaming.

"I'll be hard." Kurenai warned.

"I don't mind!" Sakura said sincerely.

"I think she can handle it." The masked man said, his red eye still focused on Sakura's face suspiciously.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura was returning to the Nara forest to see her sensei when something caught her eye.

Sasuke was walking down the street, alone. He never seemed to want company. Sakura could remember when they had both been younger, seeing Sasuke with his friends. He smiled back then, and laughed openly. Now, he ignored his old friends and never smiled at all. It made her feel sad. Sakura did not like being sad, it was like when her tummy hurt, but it would not go away, not even when her mummy made her soup or rubbed her stomach for her. Sasuke did not look as though he had anyone to make him soup or even care when he was sad.

She allowed herself a second to watch his progress. He looked tired and beaten down.

"Sa-sasuke-kun!" She called out, jumping in front of him.

He froze. She smiled encouragingly at him. He glared at her, "What do you want?" He spat.

Her smile wavered slightly, "I made you something, Sasuke-kun!" She pulled out the bento and offered it to him. She had seen Maiko-chan share her bento with Kenji-kun, once, though he had not liked it very much. She hoped Sasuke would like hers.

He barely glanced at it. He walked around her, ignoring the outstretched bento.

"Sasuke-kun…" She mumbled, "I- I made you –"

"I heard you before." He said coldly, "Why did you make me a bento?"

She blushed, "Because, because I love you, Sasuke-kun!"

"You don't even know me." Sasuke said harshly.

Sakura lowered the bento. Her tummy ached.

He walked off, hands in his pockets.

Sakura was left standing alone in the street, clutching the bento.

xxxxxxxx

Itachi sat in the tree, contemplating his burden. He had killed his own family in the name of a village that despised him. He had to sneak into the village these days. He wondered, yet again, if he had made the right choice. He had left Sasuke alone with no family. Sakura was his last chance to make things right.

He heard a rustle in the bushes to his left and he had a kunai in his hand before he knew it.

But it was only Sakura, pushing her way noisily through the bushes. Itachi made a note to teach her about stealth.

He dropped down from the tree.

Sakura was wearing a new red bow, tying back her hair and revealing her forehead. It was obvious she had been crying, her eyes were red and sore-looking.

"Did she teach you?" He asked in a low voice.

"Yes." Sakura nodded, "She said I have a natural aptitude for genjutsu and I'm very smart."

"Good. Why have you been crying?"

Sakura rubbed at her face with a scowl.

"I made Sasuke a bento. But he didn't want it! I told him I love him and he said I didn't even know him. I don't like him anymore." Sakura said childishly.

Itachi sighed. Sasuke would never have rebuffed a girl so bluntly before. He had witnessed his behaviour with girls in his class, he was meek and overly polite, most of the time. Either he really did not like Sakura, or he had simply changed since Itachi last knew him. He suspected the latter.

Sakura gave a great big sniff, eyes tearing up again.

Itachi shook his head. 

"I'll build up your stamina and your strength. I don't live in this village, so don't expect me to be here whenever. I will summon a crow and have it come to your window when I am in the village. When that happens, come to this forest. I will continue to train you." He said. Sakura might not be able to offer Sasuke love, but if she stayed alive, Itachi was certain she would affect Sasuke for the better.

After knowing Sakura for such a short time, he did not want to return to Konoha and find only a grave, a sad relic to mark a wasted life. He had seen too many children die.

He would train this little girl and keep her alive, his own quiet kind of repentance for the deaths he had caused.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, let's begin with introducing ourselves." Hatake Kakashi said, his single eye wrinkling in a smile.

"What do you want to know?" Sakura asked, watching her new sensei intently. So far he didn't seem to be anything like her real sensei, not after he fell for Naruto's prank.

"How about your likes, dislikes, your dreams for the future and things like that?" Kakashi suggested.

"Hey, hey, why don't you introduce yourself first?" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke stayed silent. Sakura glanced at him and suppressed a grin. He looked so moody.

"Oh… me?" Kakashi said slowly, "Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi… I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes… dreams for the future… hmm. I have a lot of hobbies..."

"How are we supposed to trust you if you don't tell us anything about you?" Sakura asked, eyebrows raised.

Kakashi blinked, "Have a little faith in your sensei." He admonished lightly.

She had plenty of faith in her sensei. Her real sensei, anyway. Even though he hadn't shown up much lately, just mumbled cryptic hints about being too busy to teach her. As she had grown older, she had noticed just how young her sensei really was. Kakashi-sensei was a lot older than him. If her sensei had first started teaching her when he was thirteen, like he said… he'd be about eighteen now. In all honesty, their relationship had become awkward when she began asking questions.

She had demanded that he reveal his name. He had scowled and his chakra had rolled out in menacing waves. Sakura, used to her sensei's anger, had merely bore it and repeated her question. He hadn't replied.

At twelve years old, she was growing worried about who her sensei really was. He was similar in appearance to Sasuke, pale skin and dark hair and eyes. He was very handsome. Why, she asked herself, would an eighteen year old continue to travel to another village in order to train a little girl?

He was kind, she could tell. Whenever she screwed up he would reassure her, not scold her as she had once expected. The only thing he ever revealed about himself was that he was a pacifist, and he despised the human waste of life that the shinobi way demanded. He showed an odd dislike for the rules ninja had to follow – abandon one's comrades to complete a mission, never show emotion in front of your enemies and never be afraid to die for your village... Sakura privately thought he had once been a ninja – for he did not seem to own a hitae-ate – and that he had abandoned his village and renounced the ninja way.

"I have faith." Sakura replied, thinking of how lonely her sensei seemed, how he enjoyed talking with her more than training her. She had faith. She shouldn't question why he was willing to train her.

Kakashi just looked at her steadily. Sakura looked away first. The whole secret training thing had left her feeling oddly guilty. Her mother thought that she was still friends with Ino, that every time she disappeared off into the Nara Forest she was hanging out with Ino. If she knew she was really training with a man whose name she did not know…

"Well, introduce yourself then, oh faithful one." Kakashi grinned, his eye crinkling upwards.

"I'm Haruno Sakura." She said. Sasuke's head had turned her way the moment she began speaking, and she ignored the thrill it gave her to know he was listening, "I like solving puzzles and studying. I dislike idiots. My dream is to prove my worth."

"Prove your worth to whom?" Kakashi asked, his head tilting.

"Myself, I guess." She shrugged. She wanted nothing more than to prove to her sensei that she deserved his assistance.

"Me next!" Naruto shouted eagerly, "I love ramen! I don't like the way you have to wait three minutes for it to cook! And my dream is… to become Hokage and for the village to acknowledge my existence!"

Sakura smiled at him indulgently. The villagers all despised Naruto, and had done since she was a kid. She assumed this was because he caused so much trouble. She had never seen what was so awful about him – true she had thought him irritating, but it was really her sensei who had opened her eyes about Naruto.

She had complained about him once, and her sensei had told her off.

"He is alone, isn't he?" Her sensei had said darkly, "Isn't that enough punishment for him? Does he really deserve your hatred as well as everyone else's?"

Suitably chastised, she had looked at Naruto a different way ever since.

Sasuke barely even looked up when Kakashi said it was his turn, "I don't really like anything," He muttered, mostly to himself, "I dislike many things… I don't have a dream. I have… an ambition. To resurrect my clan and to kill a certain man."

To kill a certain man? Sakura frowned. An odd dream for a twelve year old genin. Sasuke looked as though he was off in his own world. Perhaps he was thinking of the man he was going to kill. Judging from the naked hatred on his face, Sakura thought the man must have done something awful.

Kakashi looked grim upon hearing Sasuke's response.

"I believe we understand each other," Kakashi said, straightening up, "Formal training begins tomorrow."

"Yes sir!" Naruto said eagerly, "What will our duties be? Our first real shinobi mission!"

Kakashi laughed quietly to himself, "Survival exercises!" He declared, "Be here bright and early tomorrow. Oh and… don't eat breakfast tomorrow unless you enjoy throwing up."

Naruto gulped.

Sakura's eyes narrowed, "There is no real reason why we shouldn't eat breakfast." She argued, "We'll need our strength if it really is a survival mission."

"Eat if you want," Kakashi said airily, "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

"Oh and, by the way," He added, "This mission has a 66 percent rate of failure. So don't screw up, or you'll be sent back to the Academy."

Naruto flinched. Sasuke just closed his eyes.

Sakura ran a hand through her hair. If she failed tomorrow, her sensei would undoubtedly be disappointed in her… She absolutely would not fail!

"Bring it on." She said in a low voice. Kakashi caught it and gave her an enquiring look. She ignored him.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura took out her kunai and set down a bucket of soapy water. She wanted her weapons to be perfect for tomorrow.

There was a tapping noise from her window. A crow was sitting on her windowsill, intelligent eyes staring in at her.

She set down her weapons on her bed and headed to the window, opening it.

"Sakura-san," The crow said in its deep voice, "Your sensei requires you."

That was what the crow always said. Sakura sighed, looking at her dirty weapons. Ah well, she thought. She could always clean them when she got back.

"In the Nara Forest?" She asked, as she always did. She didn't know why she bothered. The answer was always the same.

"Yes."

"Tell him I'll be there in ten minutes, please." Sakura said politely. The crow nodded and flew away.

She opened her bedroom door and stuck her head around it.

"Mum, I'm going to hang out with Ino!" She yelled down the stairs.

"OK," Her mother called back, "Don't be too late this time! I want you back before dinner."

Sakura sighed, "OK, Mum."

She opened the window and jumped out, landing perfectly without a sound. Her mother didn't like her using the window, but Sakura found it was a lot quicker than using the front door.

She hadn't seen her sensei in three months.

xxxxxxxx

Itachi had removed his Akatsuki cloak, despite the fact that Sakura almost definitely would not recognise it. Akatsuki kept their business secret.

He had been surprised by how proud he had felt when both Sasuke and Sakura graduated. He had heard the news from one of his crow spies, and had decided to come see Sakura sooner than he had planned. He had been pleased to discover that Sakura had been placed in the same team as Sasuke. That way, she would be his ally and hopefully his friend. She would also be able to tell Itachi more about Sasuke's progress.

Perhaps fate was on his side for once.

Sakura made very little sound as she entered the forest, just a few leaves crunching quietly underfoot. She had learnt a lot from him, and he felt justly proud of her progress. If only he could have had the chance to teach Sasuke, as his brother had always wanted.

"Sensei." Sakura's quiet voice came from the left with a twig snapping to signal her arrival.

He turned.

Sakura had grown so much. She was now quietly matured far beyond her twelve years. She had inherited his pacifist nature, and his reserved personality. She had a fiery temper, however, that he had found impossible to reign in. She was also kind-hearted and passionate.

"Congratulations on becoming a genin, Sakura." Itachi nodded at her.

"Thanks, sensei." Sakura said, allowing herself a smile, "Sasuke's my teammate, too. And Naruto."

"Are you happy with your team?" Itachi enquired.

Sakura made a face. "I don't know. I still… care about Sasuke. I don't think being on the same team as him is a good idea."

"Why not?"

"A ninja should not show emotion," Sakura recited, her smile self-deprecating, "I think I'd show a lot of emotion if I was with Sasuke."

Itachi's expression darkened, "Sakura, I've told you many times. Ignore the shinobi way. The rules that govern ninja are too harsh, especially for a twelve year old."

Sakura just nodded, leaning against a tree. They had had many clashes about the ninja way. Sakura disliked fighting almost as much as Itachi did, but she fervently believed in the rules she had been taught. A ninja could not simply follow their own rules. She had a team to work with now.

"Sensei," Sakura began warily, "Who are you?"

"No one important," Itachi glared at her, "I have told you that before."

"I'm not six years old anymore, sensei." Sakura said, with her own glare for good measure, "I don't want to blindly follow the advice of a strange man in a forest! Do you not owe me an explanation?"

"One day my training will save your life," Itachi said with quiet heat, "Do you need any more explanation?"

"Why me?" Sakura countered, "If you want to save lives with your teaching, why not become a jounin sensei?"

Itachi's fist hit the tree next to him, "Why do you always have to question everything? I don't want you to die!"

"Why me?" Sakura repeated, "I'm tired of this, sensei. Ever since I met you, you've been cagey about who you really are. I'm not stupid, sensei, you made sure of that. Stop treating me like a child and just trust me!"

"I do trust you," Itachi said, his anger still simmering, "But I don't owe you anything. Over the last six years I have taught you for nothing. I'm going to save your life one day, stop you from dying young. Isn't that enough for you? Do you still want an explanation? When I was younger than you, I watched other children die in wars every day, for the sake of their villages! I met you and I thought I finally had the chance to prevent one more death. Maybe one day I'll tell you who I am. But not today."

Sakura gritted her teeth. If only he would just tell her now! It would soothe her worries and her fears. She only wanted to know who the mysterious man in the forest really was.

"You know, when I was about nine, I thought I'd made you up," Sakura said, remembering, "That was the year you didn't come. I thought you were an imaginary friend, that it was just a game I'd played. Then a crow appeared at my window again when I was ten and I just thought who is this man, really? If you say you'll tell me one day, that's fine. I don't mind waiting."

Itachi gave a weary sigh, "Good. Now, tell me about your jounin sensei."

"He's nothing like you." Sakura rolled her eyes, "He fell for one of Naruto's pranks. He's making us do a survival exercise tomorrow that has a 66 percent chance of failure. I'm a little worried."

Itachi leant against a tree and listened to her concerns, nodding every now and then.

Sakura was growing suspicious, and he didn't know how long she'd wait before she stopped answering the crow's calls. He'd grown fond of his student over the years, and it had become more than just his quest to absolve himself and to help Sasuke. Sakura was one of the few people that didn't treat him with wary respect, as they did in Akatsuki, or outright fear, as his victims did.

He would hate to have to kill her one day. He hoped that he would never have to face her on the battlefield.

xxxxxxxx

"Good morning, class!" Kakashi said cheerfully after he arrived in a puff of smoke.

"You're late!" Naruto roared.

Sakura glared at Kakashi. She did not wake up at the crack of dawn for this, honestly. Sasuke just ignored him.

"I've set this alarm to go off at noon." Kakashi announced, pointing to an alarm clock on a tree stump.

He explained the rules of the bell test. Sakura listened intently, very aware of the high rate of failure. The preparation stage would surely be crucial.

Naruto loudly bragged that Kakashi was going to get himself killed. Sakura winced.

"Only the weak speak loudly. Now, let's forget the dunce and we'll start on my signal." Kakashi said contemptuously.

He was trying to anger Naruto, Sakura realised with a scowl. What a devious trick. Though Naruto could probably do with a lesson in humility.

It worked.

Naruto charged at Kakashi, kunai out, radiating killer intent. Kakashi disappeared. He had transported himself behind Naruto and grabbed his arm.

"Not so fast," He scolded, "I didn't say go."

xxxxxxxx

Sakura was hiding under a bush, whilst Naruto stupidly attempted to attack Kakashi again.

Kakashi chided Naruto's careless behaviour, and his hands formed the tiger seal. Sakura's eyes widened. He couldn't possibly… want to kill Naruto?

And yet, that seal, that stance... She couldn't take the risk that he wasn't serious.

Sakura leapt in front of Naruto and broke Kakashi's hand seal with a kick. She glared at him. Perhaps he secretly despised Naruto just as much as the rest of the village did, and had just been waiting for a chance to kill him. Naruto was just as alone as she and Sasuke were. She would not allow this man to kill him.

Her chakra flared strongly as she spread her arms out in front of Naruto, reacting to her anger.

"Oh?" Kakashi said lightly, rubbing his hand, "You want to fight me too?"

"Sa-Sakura-chan?" Naruto stammered, utterly shocked.

Sakura could practically feel Sasuke's contempt radiating from him. She must look a complete fool.

"A jounin versus a single over-confident genin is not a fair fight," Sakura spat, "Particularly not when the jounin uses killing techniques!"

"And if you'd used your head instead of your heart, you'd have realised I was not using a killing technique." Kakashi drawled.

Sakura froze, "You weren't?"

"Nope. And now you've revealed your position," Kakashi tutted, grinning underneath his mask, "Very poor form, Sakura."

"Psst!" Naruto hissed loudly, "Sakura-chan! Let's attack him together!"

"I'm reading, not deaf." Kakashi raised one eyebrow.

"No, Naruto. Go hide somewhere. Quickly!" Sakura shook her head.

"But, Sakura-chan…"

"Go!" Sakura turned and smiled at Naruto, "It'll be alright."

Naruto, overwhelmed at receiving a smile from his secret crush, blushed and nodded, retreating into the undergrowth.

"That bleeding heart will get you in trouble someday." Kakashi commented.

"Is it a bleeding heart or is it a distraction?" Sakura smiled.

Sasuke leapt onto Kakashi's back, hand scrabbling at the bells. They jangled in response.

The jounin reared back.

Sasuke was shoved away. He smirked, and held his hands up in a seal, blowing fire at Kakashi.

Sakura had long since hidden away again. She was grateful she had noticed Sasuke sneaking up on Kakashi. If he hadn't, she would have been forced to fight the jounin.

Kakashi disappeared.

Two hands shot through the earth and seized Sasuke's ankles, pulling him down into the ground until just his head was showing.

Sakura giggled at the sight. Growing serious, she started run deeper into the forest, searching for a better hiding place.

She spotted Kakashi reading his book and cursed, rapidly moving back to hide.

"Sakura! Behind you!"

She jumped in shock, whirling around to see…

Kakashi, right behind her.

Leaves whirled around Sakura. Her eyes grew hazy. But then… Kurenai's training came to her mind… genjutsu! She knew how to break this!

"Kai!" She shouted, her hands forming the necessary seal.

The leaves fell, and Kakashi was revealed.

"Now where did you learn that?" He said, putting his book away.

"Kurenai-sensei!" Sakura said triumphantly. She had to resist the urge to stick her tongue out. Kurenai would be pleased.

"Hm?" Kakashi said suddenly, turning around, "Be right back!"

He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What?" Sakura stared at the tendrils of smoke still curling where Kakashi had once been, "But…"

xxxxxxxx

The test had ended badly.

It turned out when Naruto ran off to hide, he came across a fallen bell and picked it up, springing a trap Kakashi had set for him earlier. Then he had decided to eat all of the lunches.

Sasuke had been buried by Kakashi and had not been able to get a bell before the alarm went off.

Sakura had been unable to find Kakashi after he disappeared, and hadn't managed to get a bell either, to her disappointment.

"Oh my, listen to all the stomachs growl!" Kakashi smiled, "By the way I have a little announcement to make about this assignment. There's no need for any of you to go back to the academy."

"Then… we all passed?" Naruto said excitedly, tied to a log.

"You should all instead… quit being ninjas!" Kakashi said with a smile.

Naruto looked desperate.

Sakura scowled and looked down at her feet. Damn it. She'd failed.

"Quit as ninjas!" Naruto shouted, disbelieving, "OK, so we didn't get the bells… but why do we have to quit?"

"Because all of you are just punks who don't deserve to be ninja!" Kakashi declared.

Sasuke snarled and leapt at their sensei.

Kakashi intercepted Sasuke and forced him to the ground, sitting on him.

"That's why you're a punk," Kakashi chided, "You don't want to work with anyone. You think you're better than anyone else. Even if that were true, which it obviously isn't," Kakashi pushed Sasuke's face a little further into the dirt, earning a growl from the humiliated genin, "that's no reason to ignore your allies! Fail!"

"Sakura!" Kakashi said, looking up at her, "You never once tried to get a bell. You hid yourself well, but let yourself be goaded into leaving your hiding place. You didn't work with Naruto to attack me. You did not even attempt to aid Sasuke when I trapped him. Fail!"

"And Naruto! You showed you could be clever with those clones of yours but you allowed yourself to be fooled by tricks. You also tried to do it alone. Fail!"

"You all missed the point of the test." Kakashi said seriously, "Teamwork!"

"I'll give you one more chance! Eat your lunches, Sasuke and Sakura, but don't give any to Naruto!"

And with that, Kakashi vanished again.

Sakura unwrapped her lunch and looked guiltily at Naruto.

Sasuke smirked to himself, shaking his head.

"Here." He said to Naruto, offering his lunch to him.

"Huh?" Naruto looked stunned.

"Sasuke…" Sakura said uneasily, "Are you sure…?"

"He'll slow us down if he doesn't eat."

Sakura smiled. So Sasuke could be kind too.

She offered her lunch to Naruto.

At once, the sky rumbled and Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke, his eyes glaring, chakra murderously angry.

Naruto yelled in surprise.

Sakura's eyes widened.

Sasuke readied himself for a fight.

"You guys!" Kakashi growled, "Pass!"

Sakura nearly fell over in shock.

"What?" She said faintly, "We pass?"

"Yep." Kakashi smiled, "Well done!"

Sakura was surprised to find tears welling up in her eyes. She could make her sensei proud of her, and prove her worth, to herself, to her sensei, and to…

Sasuke glanced at her as she cried.

"I'm a ninja!" Naruto yelled, with tears in his eyes, just like Sakura, "A ninja!"


	4. Chapter 4

The boat cut through the water swiftly and silently. The mist began to thicken. Sakura, unable to relax in such fog, had her hand on her kunai holster. Sasuke was looking around suspiciously. Naruto was buzzing with excitement, whilst Kakashi appeared to be deep in thought.

They had arrived in the Land of Waves.

They disembarked and began to travel towards the bridge. Sakura was trembling. This whole screamed tension and conflict, the people had bleak expressions and empty stomachs. She was so sure of an ambush that it was a struggle not to start flinging kunai everywhere.

"Oi, Sakura," Kakashi said in a low voice, "Calm down."

She nodded, moving her hand away from the holster.

Naruto was just as on edge as she was, he really was flinging kunai everywhere, including at a poor white rabbit.

Kakashi examined the rabbit, letting out a concerned, "Hm…"

"Everyone! Get down!" He suddenly shouted.

Sasuke threw himself to the ground. Naruto was slow to react so Sakura leapt on him, pushing him to the ground. Tazuna practically fell to the floor in his eagerness to get out of the way.

A gigantic sword flew overhead.

It embedded itself into a tree. A man appeared out of nowhere, standing on it with ease, looking back at them all with fiery eyes. Sakura shivered and gritted her teeth. This man's chakra was ridiculously strong.

"Well, well," Kakashi drawled, "If it isn't Momochi Zabuza, the kid who ran off and left the Land of the Mists!"

Zabuza chuckled, a low baritone laugh that raised the hairs on the back of Sakura's neck.

She pulled out a kunai and shifted in front of Tazuna subtly.

"This may be a little rough." Kakashi said gravely, pulling at his hitae-ate.

"Kakashi no Sharingan?" Zabuza said slowly, "I wonder… could you surrender the old man?"

Sharingan? Sakura vaguely remembered her mother mentioning the word once, but Sakura had never bothered to find out what it meant.

Sasuke looked astonished.

"Assume the Manji Battle formation! Protect Tazuna-san!" Kakashi instructed, "All of you, stay out of the fight."

"And now, Zabuza," Kakashi said, revealing his scarred eye. Sakura was jolted by sudden realisation; she had seen that eye before! When she was younger, she had asked Kurenai to train her, and Kakashi had pulled his hitae-ate up to look at her more closely!

But why?

Zabuza disappeared after making a few snide comments about the Sharingan. Sakura tensed. Zabuza began radiating killer intent, listing off the eight main vital areas a ninja could attack and kill someone. Sasuke began to shake.

Kakashi turned back and smiled at them reassuringly, "I will never let my comrades die!"

I wouldn't bet on that… Zabuza's voice rang out eerily from the mist.

A second later, he was between Sakura and Tazuna. She turned; inwardly marvelling at the way she could force her mind to remain calm even in this situation. This was her sensei's doing.

Kakashi leapt at Zabuza, sticking a kunai into the water clone.

They fought for a while, Kakashi dodging Zabuza's great blade and trying to get through the bigger man's defences.

Kakashi went flying into the water after Zabuza landed a heavy kick on him.

Sakura quivered, dying to jump into the fight.

Kakashi was suddenly suspended in a watery prison.

When Naruto attempted to hit Zabuza, he was thrown brutally far, his hitae-ate falling from his head.

Zabuza chuckled again, stepping on the hitae-ate mockingly, grinding it into the dust.

Sakura forced her legs to move. After ensuring Sasuke had Tazuna covered, she slowly walked in front of the fallen Naruto, keeping her eyes on Zabuza the whole time. Kakashi was still yelling at them to get away.

Zabuza tilted his head to get a better look at her.

She raised her kunai, ignoring her shaking hands. Her mind was blank, she was too terrified to think of any techniques or plans. She was moving automatically, just wanting to help in some way.

"Sakura-chan." Naruto said suddenly, pulling himself up, "It's OK. I've got this."

He charged at Zabuza.

"No!" Sakura yelled, hand outstretched in alarm as Naruto ran.

"Naruto!" Kakashi shouted.

Naruto took another hard hit but came up smiling, clutching his newly-won hitae-ate.

Zabuza looked slightly unsettled when Naruto declared himself the next Hokage, tying his hitae-ate back on and grinning ferociously.

Zabuza struck out and hit Sasuke, kicking him hard in the stomach again and again until he coughed blood.

Sakura once again was forced to face him down, the demon of the hidden mist.

She glared at him as hard as she could, her kunai inches away from slicing his arm open. She hoped he wouldn't notice her trembling.

Remember what sensei said, she thought to herself, taking a few calming breaths.

Find your enemy's weak point… and exploit it.

"Please stop ignoring me." She said politely. He hadn't hesitated in attacking Naruto and Sasuke, leaving them both bruised and bloodied, but he'd underestimated her, leaving her alone.

"What's with you overconfident brats?" Zabuza snorted, knocking her kunai aside with ease.

"Sakura, just run!" Kakashi yelled, sounding desperate.

Sasuke coughed quietly behind her, gurgling blood from his internal injuries. He needed healing.

Naruto was frozen in front of Tazuna.

Zabuza unsheathed his weapon, pointing at Sakura.

She fought the urge to run, drawing another kunai, "You stay away from Sasuke." She said in a low, intense voice.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto yelled suddenly.

"So… bunshin, huh? And quite a few of them…" Zabuza said slowly, looking around at all of the Naruto clones that had suddenly appeared.

Sakura lowered her kunai, pissed off. She had been about to project an image of a bloodthirsty Kakashi, having noticed that Zabuza seemed oddly afraid of the Sharingan. Yet another chance to showcase her genjutsu abilities squandered.

Zabuza took out the clones with a lazy flick of his sword.

Naruto flew back, digging something out of his bag. He pulled out a giant shuriken and threw it to Sasuke.

Zabuza was ripped from the water prison when Naruto and Sasuke's clever teamwork forced him to dodge a kunai.

Kakashi was free.

xxxxxxxx

"So it's decided. The new training regimen starts today!" Kakashi announced.

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered.

Sakura and Sasuke remained silent.

Zabuza had suddenly been killed by a masked hunter nin. Sakura had watched him die without flinching, and yet she could not get it off her mind. Her sensei's voice rang out in her head. What a waste of life, he'd say. Ninja are born to die, he always said so bitterly, to be used and disposed of.

Now, Kakashi told them to walk up trees without using their hands.

Sakura burst out laughing when he told them.

They all stared at her.

"…Something funny?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Walking up trees without using our hands? That's so basic!" Sakura laughed.

"Actually, it's a very complicated technique that requires intense focus and high chakra control." Kakashi corrected, sounding a little annoyed.

"It's not complicated at all." Sakura shook her head. It was the very first technique her sensei had ever taught her, and she'd picked it up straightaway.

"Watch me." She said, choosing her tree carefully.

Sasuke looked unconvinced.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes.

She walked up the tree with minimal effort, walking straight up the bark and onto the highest branch.

Naruto's eyes were bulging in shock.

Sasuke actually looked surprised.

"Well now we know which of you has the best control over her chakra." Kakashi smiled, "Our young lady."

Sakura grinned, waving at them from high above their heads. She stuck her tongue out at the boys on the ground, feeling quite smug. They both grumbled in response.

xxxxxxxx

"Sakura." Sasuke said suddenly, catching her sleeve as she passed.

She turned, confused.

"What you did back there…" Sasuke began to say, then shook his head with a rueful smirk, "When you stood in front of me when Zabuza was trying…"

"No problem, Sasuke." Sakura smiled. The poor thing couldn't even bring himself to thank her.

"Humph." Sasuke grunted, looking embarrassed. He walked off through the forest, following Kakashi and Naruto.

Sakura watched him go. Ever since she was a child, she had been fascinated with Sasuke, with his lonely lifestyle but unshakeable pride. He was unapproachable and thus an easy target for a young girl's infatuation.

Sakura huffed lightly, pushing her hair back. Was it infatuation? If so, was it gone now? When she looked at him now, she felt nothing but a slight feeling of fondness and occasionally exasperation.

Why did he have to be so inscrutable? Why couldn't he be friendly and open like Naruto? At least then she'd know if he liked her back or not.

She rarely mentioned Sasuke to her sensei, but when she did she was normally bemoaning the difficulties of love. Her sensei was oddly encouraging when it came to her feelings for Sasuke, pushing her to pursue her teammate romantically.

She was far more concerned about the fact that her team did not feel like hers. Kakashi was distant and mysterious, as was Sasuke. Naruto was friendly, but their personalities clashed.

She was well aware that they considered her as something fragile that needed to be protected. The cherry blossom had a tragically short life span, after all. She despised this view. Her sensei never treated her like she needed to be cared for and protected. His training was rough and harsh, but at least she never felt like he was patronising her.

She missed her sensei. She so rarely saw him anyway, being away from the only place she ever saw him was difficult. What if when she returned he did not?

The sunlight struggled to penetrate the thick leaves of the trees overhead, leaving Sakura in darkness, watching her team walk away without her.

xxxxxxxx

Naruto had exhausted himself training too hard, so they had decided to go to the bridge without him.

They arrived to a scene of chaos.

Men lay around on the bridge everywhere, moaning in pain, some silent and unmoving.

Tazuna ran up to one of them, shouting, "What happened?"

"M-monsters." The man had stammered.

The mist thickened until it hung around them menacingly solid.

"They're coming!" Kakashi shouted.

Sakura withdrew a kunai.

They were suddenly surrounded by copies of Zabuza, each equipped with their own intimidatingly sharp swords.

Sasuke became a blur, each clone splashing to the ground as he defeated them, leaving only puddles of water.

He clashed with the fake hunter-nin, Haku, kunai striking kunai with metallic screeches.

"Sakura! We have to cover Tazuna-san!" Kakashi shouted, gesturing to the old man's left, "Guard that side!"

Sakura did as she was asked, watching Sasuke fight with Haku, feeling a spike of anxiety when she noticed just how fast and strong Haku appeared to be.

Sasuke leapt into the air when Haku unleashed several blades of ice, throwing shuriken and forcing him away from the puddles of water.

Sakura's eyes narrowed when Haku's hands formed an unfamiliar seal. Sasuke was suddenly surrounded by icy mirrors, the air tinged with frost, rime covering the glassy surfaces of the mirrors.

Sasuke screamed in pain when a series of lightning fast slices ripped open his skin and tore at his clothes.

Sakura shuddered with rage, wanting nothing more than to attack Haku and finish this once and for all.

But no… her sensei had told her not to use the techniques he taught her unless she was near death.

Sasuke fell to his knees.

Sakura's hands formed a seal.

Kakashi yelled out Sasuke's name, unable to get to him with Zabuza blocking the way.

Haku was protected by the mirrors.

Zabuza did not have that advantage.

Sakura turned to face the much larger man. She muttered the name of her jutsu of choice under her breath, hands flashing as she formed the necessary seals.

Zabuza froze.

"I-I can't move." He choked out in surprise.

Kakashi turned to look at Sakura, his Sharingan flashing.

"GO!" She shouted, pointing at the mirror prison. Zabuza's paralysis would not last forever.

Zabuza's eyes landed on her in fury, his muscles trembling as he fought the paralysis.

Sakura held on firmly, ignoring the spike of pain Zabuza's chakra made when it drove against hers relentlessly, seeking release.

Kakashi hesitated, looking from her to Sasuke in indecision.

Tazuna hovered, looking terrified.

Naruto made Kakashi's decision for him, throwing a shuriken at Haku out of nowhere, shocking Sakura so much she released the paralysis on Zabuza.

"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed.

Her hope was quashed when he stupidly allowed himself to be trapped within the ice mirrors with Sasuke.

A metallic sound drew her attention.

Zabuza had disappeared, and Kakashi was blocking large numbers of shuriken that were flying out of the mist.

"He'll come for us next, Tazuna-san." Sakura said quietly to the bridge-builder.

He was frightened, that was obvious, but he visibly steeled himself for Zabuza's attack.

"Come on…" She muttered, "Come get me. I'm the weak one. Pick me off. Come on, come on…"

She had a very special genjutsu in mind for Zabuza.

It was dangerous, showing off her abilities in front of her team, but this situation was looking fairly dire…

Kakashi appeared in front of them abruptly, arms spread out.

Zabuza flung his great sword in Kakashi's direction.

Sakura saw the blood dripping from Kakashi's side and screamed.

"Kakashi-sensei!" She cried, surprising herself with how afraid she was for her sensei.

That's it… she thought, gritting her teeth.

Zabuza's narrowed eyes connected with hers, his dark chuckle ringing out of the mist.

"Magen: Jigoku Kōka no Jutsu." She said clearly, enunciating every word.

"Sakura, don't use –" Kakashi began to shout.

A gigantic fireball began to descend upon them. Zabuza's eyes bulged out in alarm. He leapt backwards to avoid the fire.

Concentrate… Sakura's feet began to slide backwards against the pressure of maintaining the illusion. Add heat, add shape, keep the colour vibrant… make fire! Her face was contorted, her eyes were nearly squeezed shut, her mouth screwed up, her arms trembling under the weight of the illusion.

Kakashi watched the fireball bulge and grow in amazement.

Sakura fell to her knees.

The fireball flickered in and out of reality as she strained to hold it in place.

Zabuza growled when he realised he had been tricked, the fireball was merely an illusion.

The effort of keeping it up for those precious few seconds had driven Sakura to the floor. Her cheek pressed against the cold bridge, her eyes shut.

She felt Tazuna shake her shoulder, calling her name.

"I can't…" She muttered.

"Please get up, Sakura-san!" Tazuna pleaded.

Her sensei's face swam into her mind. Get up, he said sternly.

Sakura's muscles screamed in agony as she shoved herself up off the floor.

The fireball technique was difficult to maintain and leeched chakra, but the paralysis jutsu she had used on Zabuza was far beyond her capabilities. If Sakura had been stronger, she could have caught both Zabuza and Haku and restricted their movement for much longer. The two techniques had left her weak.

Kakashi watched her get up. Zabuza had vanished again.

"Sakura!" He said authoritatively, "Keep a tight guard up."

Sakura nodded, swaying slightly.

Kakashi wiped his thumb along the cut on his chest and used a summoning jutsu.

Sakura nearly fell over when a wall of malevolent chakra hit her, too strong to be Kakashi's or even Zabuza's.

It seemed to be coming from the prison of mirrors.

Perhaps it was Haku?

Sakura swallowed. If that evil chakra belonged to that boy, then Naruto and Sasuke must be…

"Naruto! Sasuke!" Sakura screamed.

The evil chakra roared in response.

There was a sudden cacophony of shattering glass as Haku plunged through one of his own mirrors. Sakura lost sight of him almost straightaway, the mist was far too thick.

Sakura grabbed Tazuna's wrist to steady herself and to reassure him that she was still there.

She could no longer see Kakashi or Zabuza, but she could hear a faint howling.

If only she had the chakra left… she was sure she could disrupt this unnatural mist…

The mist began to clear suddenly.

Sakura squinted.

She could see two figures.

One of them suddenly moved towards the other, sprinting. Sakura could see flashes of visible chakra flying through the air.

Kakashi.

He was charging towards Zabuza, hand outstretched.

Sakura's heart leapt.

Kakashi's blow connected, his hand plunging through Haku's chest, spraying blood on Zabuza.

Sakura gasped.

Haku had jumped into the line of fire, saving Zabuza.

Zabuza chuckled suddenly, raising his blade.

Kakashi pulled Haku with him out of the way of Zabuza's blow.

The mist cleared away a little more and Sakura could suddenly make out Naruto watching the fight, shaking with rage.

"Naruto!" She said, delighted. When Haku had appeared, she had been so sure that he had hurt the other two.

He looked at her, aghast.

"Naruto!" She said again, beaming, "Where's Sasuke?"

Naruto looked away, jaw clenched against some kind of pain.

Sakura felt her smile fall away.

Her grip on Tazuna's arm slipped, her hand falling to her side.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked quietly. Her voice sounded very young all of a sudden.

Naruto didn't reply.

Sakura could vaguely hear the sounds of fighting all around her. She was in a daze. A world where Sasuke was not alive did not exist. Sasuke was alive. Naruto was lying. She had to find him, to prove to Naruto he really was alive.

Her legs shook beneath her, threatening to trip her up.

"I'll go with you," Tazuna said kindly, "Then you won't be breaking your sensei's orders."

"OK." Sakura said numbly.

She ran, holding Tazuna's hand, every step closer to the broken mirrors matched the thumping beat of her heart. One step. Sasuke was alive. Two steps. He had to be. Three steps. Another. A dark blur on the ground grew closer with every step.

She stopped.

Her sandals slipped on the watery surface of the bridge.

Sasuke lay on the ground, his face so vulnerable and open that it was obvious he was dead. Sasuke would never willingly show such weakness in front of anyone.

The realisation hit her.

He was dead.

She was on her knees before she knew it.

Tazuna looked away, making a sad, quiet noise.

It pierced the fog of her mind that had swamped her thoughts ever since Naruto's expression had become so anguished.

"He's cold." Sakura choked out, "This isn't an illusion."

"Don't mind me…" Tazuna said gruffly, "It's best to let it out and cry."

Sakura could feel the tears building up behind her eyes, threatening to spill any second.

She stroked Sasuke's ice-cold face.

"I always scored one hundred percent on my exams." She said quietly, to Sasuke's lifeless face, "I memorised over a hundred shinobi sayings… I always wrote the correct answers. On one day's test this question appeared…"

The tears were flowing uncontrollably, she was gasping out her words, her body shaking with convulsive sobs, "No matter what situation," She sobbed, "A shinobi must keep emotions on the inside… You must make your mission your top priority… And you must possess a heart that never shows… tears…"

She could not stop the tears from coming, she let them all out in an anguished cry, flinging herself upon Sasuke's chest and howling, her cries becoming desperate pleas for Sasuke to wake up…

Naruto stood on his own silently listening to Sakura cry, his face twisted in torment.

Sakura cried until her eyes ached, her tears landing on Sasuke's dead face.

"Sakura…" Sasuke said weakly, "You're heavy…"

Sakura jerked backwards, eyes wide.

"Sasuke!" She cried out, hugging him tightly, still sobbing and shaking, "Sasuke!"

xxxxxxxx

They stood at the two graves, humble crosses marking where Zabuza and Haku now rested.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura said quietly, "Were those two right about ninjas?"

Kakashi made a noncommittal gesture.

Could she be just a tool for her village? Just a weapon to be used and easily discarded when it breaks? Her sensei always said the same thing…

Her eyes widened.

Could she, as Haku had been for Zabuza, merely be a weapon for her sensei?

Could he be training her to eventually turn against her village?

Her sensei had said this once, "My training will save your life one day."

She had promised herself to trust him, and yet, the tiniest sliver of distrust wormed its way inside her heart.


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura did not see her sensei for a long time. She had her very first proper mission in the Land of Mist and when she returned she wanted nothing more than to tell him all about it, but the crow never came.

There were plenty of chirping birds outside, mocking her with their beautiful songs, but there was no familiar throaty caw of her crow.

She was beginning to grow worried.

The chuunin exams were coming up and Sakura was terrified. Kakashi hadn't said anything about extra training, had just smiled and said they were all ready.

Now it was the morning of the first exam and there wasn't a single crow in the sky.

Slightly desperate, Sakura pulled the curtains apart and peered through the window. No crows. Just early morning sunlight and a very blue sky.

She sighed, her forehead touching the glass lightly as she looked down.

How on earth could she do this alone?

Naruto and Sasuke were ridiculously confident about the exam. Sakura had very little doubt that she would fail. How could she not? She was the weak link in the team without using the abilities her sensei had taught her.

"Now listen carefully, Sakura," Her sensei had said one day, "I don't want you to ever use these abilities unless you are near death. Do you hear me? Ever."

Ever.

It was so frustrating! Sakura clenched her fists. I'm stronger than this! I can do more!

Sakura jumped when the glass she was leaning against was banged on loudly.

She opened her eyes.

The crow peered into the room, cocking its head at her.

She opened the window gleefully. At last!

"Sakura. Your sensei –"

"Requires me, I know. Tell him I'm on my way, please." Sakura said eagerly, already jumping out of the window.

The crow cawed in agreement and flew off towards the Nara Forest.

Suddenly the sky seemed bluer and the chirping birds were just the chorus to her happiness. She was going to see her sensei again!

"Hey, crow-san, do you have a name?" Sakura asked the bird, who was flying right above her head. It had occurred to her that in all of the six years she had known this bird, she had never thought to ask its name.

"Don't draw attention to me." The crow said gruffly.

"But there's no one here!" Sakura protested. It was true. It was far too early for the majority of the villagers to wake up, let alone be on the streets.

The crow chuckled raucously, "I'm Raban, Sakura-san."

"Well, hello, Raban-san." Sakura smiled, running alongside the bird now.

The bird chuckled again at her attempt to run faster than he could fly. He picked up speed and soared away, just a black smudge against an otherwise flawlessly blue sky.

"Unfair." Sakura muttered with a competitive grin.

She was just about to give chase when a cough disturbed her.

Sasuke was walking out of an alleyway, a bag of weapons slung lazily over one shoulder.

"Oh, hi Sasuke…" Sakura said uneasily. Ever since Sasuke had woken up to the sight of Sakura sobbing over him, he had acted very strangely around her, stiff and detached, not like a friend at all.

Sasuke ignored her greeting and walked past her.

Just as she began to pout at being ignored, he spoke up, "You were talking to that bird." He said in a low voice, still walking away.

Sakura froze.

"I was telling it to be quiet; it was cawing so loud it woke me up." Sakura said hastily.

Sasuke stopped and turned to look at her, "You got out of bed at this time in the morning to shout at a bird for waking you up?" He asked incredulously.

"Er… yes?" Sakura laughed nervously. Way to break sensei's cover, Sakura, she thought miserably.

For the tiniest moment, amusement flitted across Sasuke's face, "Well, carry on then." He smirked.

At the sight of that smirk, Sakura felt herself blush. Whenever she blushed or showed signs of attraction to Sasuke before, he would roll his eyes and glare at her, but now his smirk just grew wider.

It was as though their friendship had slid back into place, but slightly altered.

"Well, I'll just… go find that bird then…" Sakura said awkwardly, pointing to the Nara Forest.

Sasuke gave small huff of laughter and walked off, heading for the training grounds.

Sakura watched him go, feeling a little ache in her chest as he got further and further away from her.

xxxxxxxx

Itachi idly threw a kunai at the tree opposite him, watching as it was buried deep within the bark of the tree. How easy it was to kill another person, just as easy as lazily throwing a kunai at a tree for fun. When Sakura grew up, she would kill someone. If she was very unlucky, she would kill someone as a genin. The first kill is the hardest. Itachi's first kill had been a man twice his age, and he had not died quickly. That death had stuck with him for the rest of his life.

How easy would it be, to take Sakura away from this village, away from the shinobi life?

It would be impossible. Sakura would not want to go with him. Her family, her friends, Sasuke… they were all here.

Not only that, but he no longer lived alone. He lived in the Akatsuki base. He was fairly certain they would allow Sakura to live there with him if he made out that she was merely a tool he was sharpening for the good of the organisation, but he did not want Sakura to be exposed to the monsters that Akatsuki housed, or the harsh way of life it encouraged.

Every time she came to see him he feared she would have grown a little more vicious, a little more bloodthirsty. Ninja are bred to be monsters. But she was always the same, kind, compassionate, hot-tempered and optimistic with critically low self-esteem and a tendency to doubt herself.

She was his link to Sasuke. Without her, he would never know that Sasuke trained every day and night, even when it rained, or that Sasuke seemed to be pushing himself too hard, or that Sasuke had only two friends but he could never bring himself to refer to Naruto and Sakura as anything other than his teammates.

Naruto… the kyuubi's container. Akatsuki's plan was beginning to take off quite spectacularly. One by one the jinchuuriki were falling, and Itachi had no doubt that Naruto would soon be a target.

If Naruto was killed it would be just one more reason for Sasuke to despise Itachi, but for Sakura… it would be different. She cared for her sensei now, but what would she think of him if he was the one who was holding the kunai that killed her best friend?

Itachi sighed almost imperceptibly. His fragile mentor-student relationship with his little brother's friend was doomed and had been from the start. Sakura would find out one day, and Itachi could only hope she had not grown strong enough by that time to deny Sasuke his revenge and kill Itachi herself.

Raban landed on Itachi's shoulder and whispered that he had seen Sakura laughing with Sasuke. Itachi smiled slightly.

Sakura burst through the bushes, head turning automatically to where Itachi was, a smile growing on her face when she looked at her beloved sensei.

"Sensei!" She shouted joyfully, "I did it! My first mission!"

Itachi nodded and held a finger to his lips. The Nara Forest was filled mostly with grazing deer but Itachi had stumbled across a young boy more often than not, occasionally watching the clouds drift by, and did not want to attract any unwanted attention. The shadow jutsu the Nara's possessed could be annoying at times.

Sakura ran up the tree swiftly, landing on the branch Itachi sat on with ease.

"Today's the Chuunin Exam, sensei!" Sakura said, "I'm nervous. Kakashi-sensei hasn't really trained me at all."

Itachi shifted on the branch, looking at the girl closely.

Her hair was still that same odd shade of light pink, like the inside of a rose. Her eyes were the same – innocent, wide and light green. Her arms were showing signs of growing muscle tone. She appeared to have grown taller.

Could he still refer to his student as a child? After all, she was not much younger than he was.

"Do you feel ready?" Itachi asked.

Sakura shook her head, "No, not really. It's only our first year as a team… plenty of others have spent a year or two getting used to each other and working on their teamwork before starting the exam. I'm concerned that I will fall behind, sensei, if I can't use the techniques you taught me."

Itachi was silent for a while after that, musing on Sakura's concerns.

"You can't use the genjutsu I taught you, but you may use Yuhi's techniques. She would vouch for you if it was questioned how you knew them. Obviously, your stamina and strength should not be too suspicious, so don't hold back there. Sakura… I would advise you to rely more on your intelligence in this exam. Leave the fighting to Naruto and… Sasuke."

"When will I be able to use my techniques?" Sakura asked, exasperated.

"When you absolutely have to." Itachi's eyes flashed angrily.

"I used two genjutsu you taught me in front of Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said sheepishly, "I'm sorry, but Sasuke was in trouble and I –"

"I don't mind," Itachi cut in, "If Sasuke or anyone else you care for is in trouble, feel free to use what I teach you to protect them. But Kakashi could be a problem."

"He used the sharingan when I used the techniques. I don't understand what it does, sensei. Do you know anything about it?"

Itachi almost laughed. "Yes, a fair bit. The Sharingan copies jutsu and uses it against the former user. It is a useful kekkei genkai, but it is limited to two people now… and they are both on your team."

In reality, there were a few more Sharingan users Sakura didn't need to know about… one was sitting in the same tree as her, and had been the one to make the Sharingan so… limited.

"Sensei?" Sakura said timidly, "Do you know what happened to Sasuke's family?"

"No." Itachi said abruptly, "Do not ask me that."

Sakura nodded and backed away slightly, shuffling back on the branch.

Itachi's expression was murderous.

"Is it a secret?" Sakura asked, wide eyes looking curious.

"Yes." Itachi said simply. One that you must never find out.

Sakura looked down, pulling at the leaves on the branches of the tree awkwardly. She appeared to be steeling herself for something.

"Sensei… why are you training me? And don't just say because you'll save my life someday, tell me the real reason! Are you just using me?" Sakura snapped.

She fell to the floor awkwardly, managing to turn it into a roll to save herself a few bruises.

Itachi looked down at her from the great height of the tree, his black eyes burning angrily at her.

He leapt down and advanced towards her.

Sakura fought the urge to draw a kunai and backed up until her back hit another tree.

"Stop. Questioning. Me." Itachi said slowly, his voice low and dangerous.

"I will not!" Sakura shouted, not caring if anyone overheard, "I don't even know your name! Why should I trust you?"

Itachi grabbed her wrist, lightning-fast. Sakura shrieked and tried to pull away. His grip was solid, unbreakable. The bones of her wrist ached as he squeezed tighter.

He grabbed a kunai from her pouch. She flinched, expecting him to inflict some sort of physical punishment. But that had never been her sensei's style.

Instead, he forced her to grip the kunai, and then guided her hand up to his neck, so that the point of the kunai rested against his skin.

"What are you –" Sakura began to question him, surprised.

"Be quiet." He admonished her.

He pressed the kunai against his neck, using her hand. A tiny bead of blood welled up and ran down the weapon.

"You could kill me right now, Sakura." Itachi said darkly, "And I would let you. Do you need to know more than that? Is my name more important than my life?"

Sakura said nothing, just narrowed her eyes. She pressed the kunai further into his neck. He didn't even blink.

There was no sound around them, no wind, no birdsong, no rustling leaves…. just her own laboured breathing from fear.

"I have one question," Sakura said, ignoring the blood that had reached her hand, "Am I betraying my village by receiving training from you?"

Ah, smart girl. Itachi smiled.

"No," He said firmly, lying through his teeth. Sakura's green eyes examined his face intently and, apparently, he passed her inspection, as she pulled the kunai back and smiled.

Itachi wiped some of the blood off of the kunai and held up a single, blood-stained finger, "I swear on my own blood, that I do not want to harm you or anyone else."

However, though he did not want to harm anyone, he had to. That was his task, his burden that he had taken up willingly. If Sakura was less trusting she would have picked up on his careful wording.

She was too trusting, that was her downfall. Sasuke would not make the same mistake.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Sakura said sadly.

I'm sorry I will hurt you, Itachi thought to himself.

"It's fine." Itachi shrugged. It was a tiny cut. As a ninja you got used to little cuts and scrapes to the point when you barely even felt them.

"Do you trust me now?" He asked flatly.

"Yes, sensei!" Sakura said obediently.

Itachi sighed inwardly, "Good." He said aloud.

xxxxxxxx

The Forest of Death was like nothing Sakura had ever seen before. Gigantic insects crawled around the trees and ninja hid in every bush. It was frightening and unsettling, but Sakura appreciated that it was a new learning experience for her.

Sasuke had devised a lengthy password for them to use if they were ever separated. Sakura memorised it instantly. Naruto had screwed up his face in confusion.

At that moment, a harsh wind blew suddenly, throwing them all away from each other. Sakura dug a kunai into the earth and hung on grimly. She could see Sasuke nearby doing the same thing.

When the wind stopped, she got up and walked towards Sasuke, eyes darting suspiciously around the forest.

He held up a hand as she approached, "Stop! What's the password?"

Sakura recited it perfectly and he relaxed.

Naruto stumbled out of a bush and recited the password perfectly when Sasuke demanded it.

Sasuke smirked and threw a kunai at Naruto.

Sakura instinctively threw one of her own to block it, giving Sasuke an incredulous glare, "Are you crazy?" She demanded, standing in front of the rather confused-looking Naruto, "Why would you do that?"

Hands settled on Sakura's shoulders.

She looked around, unable to turn completely due to the strong grip keeping her rooted to the spot.

An older grass nin was holding her shoulders, grinning disconcertingly at her.

"How sweeeet…" He leered at her, a long, slimy tongue flickering out to swipe at his lips, just missing Sakura's face, "To be so protective over one's teammate…"

"Sakura!" Sasuke shouted, pulling out another kunai.

"Get off of me." Sakura told the man clearly, swivelling under his grip to face him.

"You want the earth scroll, hm? I have the heaven scroll… so…" He let go of one of Sakura's shoulders and swallowed his scroll.

Sakura couldn't stop the look of revulsion on her face after witnessing such an unnatural act. The grass nin merely laughed at her expression.

A kunai soared through the air, nearly clipping the grass nin's face.

Sakura ripped herself out of his grip and backed up, coming to a stop at Sasuke's side.

He'd thrown the kunai at the grass nin in desperation.

"Now let's begin… the battle for each other's scroll…" The grass nin smiled, "With our lives on the line…."

His eye radiated killer intent, it swamped Sakura's senses until she was wracked with undeniable fear, the vision of her own death repeated over and over again until…

She was suddenly sitting in a tree, and Sasuke was bleeding.

The leaves of the tree overhead were rustling noisily and the coppery smell of fresh blood filled the air.

Sasuke ripped a kunai out of his thigh with the tiniest of grimaces.

"Where's that grass nin - ?" Sakura started to say, before Sasuke clamped his hand around her mouth.

He was looking on edge. Sakura didn't blame him. The image of her own death was still fresh in her mind.

A giant snake coiled around another tree suddenly lunged towards them.

Sakura shoved his hand away and shrieked, "Sasuke, snake!"

They both leapt off of the branch but the snake followed Sasuke, crashing through a tree in its effort to reach him.

Sasuke killed it with a panicked spray of shuriken.

The grass nin was suddenly approaching, "The best prey shouldn't relax for a minute," He smirked, "Prey should always… try their best… to run away…"

He suddenly lengthened like a snake and coiled around the branch, shooting towards both Sakura and Sasuke, eyes on Sasuke.

Sakura stepped into his path, already forming seals.

"Sorry, sensei." She muttered.

The grass nin stopped, standing right in front of them. Sakura had paralysed him with the genjutsu that she had been practising lately. Sasuke stared at her.

"You like freaking people out, huh?" Sakura said to the wide-eyed grass nin, "Well, I hope you enjoy this then."

The Dusk Crow genjutsu was designed to leave the victim at the user's mercy – illusory crows tore at and attacked the victim whilst the user took the opportunity to go for the kill. The area around them became swamped in purple and black shadows; there was the sound of high-pitched shrieking and the cawing of crows.

The grass nin was fully under her genjutsu now, trapped in place by the paralysis as the crows tore at his flesh.

Sasuke watched, wide-eyed, "Sakura… how did you…?"

Sakura went to stab the grass nin as he stood, glassy-eyed on the branch.

Her wrist was caught and promptly snapped. She screamed, agonised. Sasuke bellowed in rage.

"Paralysis, hmmmm?" The grass nin licked his lips again, "Interesting… that is similar to Tsunade-hime's technique, my dear, and far too advanced for a cute genin like yourself. And that crow genjutsu… well, I knew one man who could do that technique… I'm surprised at the sort of company he keeps… little pink-haired Konoha nins…. yes, interesting indeed…"

"I read about it in a book!" Sakura lied, nearly crying from the pain in her wrist.

The grass nin twisted her wrist painfully, "Liar…" He rasped.

A few shuriken whistled through the air, heading for the grass nin's face. He dodged them lazily and looked up to see who had thrown them.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, "I forgot the password!"

Sakura's fear lifted the moment she saw him. The second test had taken a turn for the truly terrifying but now that Naruto, number one prankster ninja, was here, she felt relieved that everything would be alright. Naruto had that effect on people.

"Great job, Naruto!" Sakura shouted back to him. He grinned.

Sakura tore her wrist away from the grass nin's slackening grip.

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled, still sounding panicked, "I know you think you're being cool and here to save us but forget it! Run away!"

"Hehe… looks like you defeated that giant snake… Naruto-kun," The grass nin smiled.

Naruto and Sasuke fought. Sasuke wanted to give up the scroll and Naruto, disbelieving, declared that there was no way this was the brave Sasuke he knew.

He had a point… Sakura made a face. Sasuke was acting oddly cowardly.

Naruto rushed towards the grass nin, roaring his own battle cry.

Sakura watched the man's hands flash into the summoning seals and screamed, "No, Naruto!"

Another gigantic snake burst forth, breaking the branch and heading for Naruto.

Sakura watched in terror as Naruto fell towards the great snake's open mouth.

"Eat shit!" Naruto yelled, punching the snake down with impossible strength.

Not long after, he saved Sasuke from the snake with what seemed like no effort at all.

Sakura stared at him, utterly shocked. How could this be the Naruto she knew?

Sasuke looked just as shocked as she did, especially when Naruto growled, "Are you hurt? Scaredy cat!"

But then the grass nin was pulling Naruto up with his elongated tongue, lifting his shirt and… he did something that made Naruto scream in agony.

He tossed him aside.

Sakura threw a kunai to stop him from falling to his death.

Just when Sakura began to fear that this was it, the grass nin would kill them all, Sasuke suddenly stepped forward, his expression determined. There was no trace of fear left anymore.

Sasuke fought with the grass nin brilliantly, analysing his weaknesses and strengths, tying him up with chakra string and blowing a great fireball at him.

"He he… I see greater potential in your eyes than even in Itachi's…" The grass nin chuckled. Sasuke stiffened.

"Who the hell are you?" He demanded, looking furious.

"My name is Orochimaru," He said, still smirking, "Come and find me if you survive this exam…"

And then his neck lengthened and he shot towards Sasuke.

He bit down, hard, on Sasuke's neck.

"Sasuke-kun will seek me… to gain power," He said smugly. His eyes fell on Sakura.

She shuddered.

Sasuke fell to his knees.

Orochimaru's head came close to Sakura's face. She froze in fear as he opened his mouth.

"Your chakra is a little like his… burning… I wonder… two heaven curse seals…? Only one in ten survive. It would be interesting to see which of you was stronger…" He mused to himself.

Sakura's knees were shaking.

"But no… it would be a waste if you died… not to mention he would be angry… Little girl, come see me when you are stronger…" Orochimaru grinned and descended into the branch. There were a few cracking sounds and he was gone.

Sakura was left alone in the Forest of Death.


	6. Fighting Back and Falling Down

Sasuke was still screaming in agony. Sakura grabbed his hand and winced when he squeezed it, hard. Her wrist was aching so much it was an effort to not cry, or join in Sasuke's screaming.

She was alone. Naruto hung from the tree, unmoving, pinned there by her kunai. Sasuke was unconscious, still trembling with pain even in sleep.

She looked around wildly. She could feel hostile eyes on them from all sides.

Use your intelligence, her sensei had said.

There were twenty-six different teams in the forest. The other twenty-five would be looking to pick off the weakest teams first. As team seven currently consisted of one conscious member, they were most likely the weakest team.

Their best bet was to hide, wait until Naruto and/or Sasuke awoke and then attempt to attack another team, stealing their scroll, since Orochimaru had burnt theirs.

She shuddered at the memory of the frightening grass nin. He had bitten Sasuke, caused him such pain… What would have happened should he have decided to bite Sakura too? He had been close, scarily close to biting her, she could feel it…

And he had told her to come see him when she grew stronger… why? Why would she ever want to see him again? And why on earth would he want to see her? Not to mention the fact that he seemed certain Sasuke would seek him out willingly later on. Sakura looked down at Sasuke's trembling face, and thought this was unlikely.

And the oddest thing about the meeting had been his reaction when she used her jutsu against him. He had seemed to know who her sensei was! He had referred to knowing the man who had taught Sakura, and the only reason he hadn't bitten her too was apparently because he feared her sensei's wrath.

Sakura thought of her sensei.

He was only eighteen. He was always pale and sickly-looking. But he was lightning-quick and brutally strong. Could it be possible her sensei had fought this Orochimaru before, and won? Had defeated him so thoroughly that he was afraid of incurring his rage? Shouldn't she, as his student, be strong enough to defeat him too, to protect her teammates?

I will protect them, she thought fiercely. I will not let them die! If Orochimaru returns, let him be afraid of me too!

xxxxxxxx

Naruto and Sasuke lay side by side, both with white cloths pressed against their foreheads. Naruto slept peacefully, but Sasuke seemed to sleep fitfully.

Sakura was shaking. She had used far too much chakra in the fight with Orochimaru and now she was tired. It was nearly morning. She just had a feeling that everything would be better when it was daytime, the sun would be out, Sasuke and Naruto would wake up and she would no longer see snake eyes in every shadow.

I want to sleep… Sakura thought pitifully to herself, I'm so tired…

She shook herself. If she fell asleep, what would happen to her teammates?

You did not prepare me for this, she thought to Kakashi and her sensei.

She fell asleep, wishing with all her might that her sensei would show up and help her.

When she awoke, she panicked and checked on her teammates. They seemed fine, though Sasuke was now sweating as well as trembling.

Sakura's chakra had been slightly replenished by sleep. She formed a seal with her hands and placed a weak genjutsu over the mouth of the cave they were hiding in, making it appear blocked.

She heard something rustling in the bushes.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura kicked the girl away from her, panting. She wiped blood off her face and glared at the sound team, her eyes hard and determined.

She hadn't slept long and her chakra levels were low, but she was not going to let three genin kill Sasuke in front of her without a fight.

"Kin!" Zaku shouted.

"Who is Orochimaru?" Sakura demanded, "Tell me!"

"Che, I'd rather kill you." Zaku scowled, aiming his hands at her once more.

"One trick pony." Sakura commented, leaping out of the way of the arcing sound waves.

"Tch, this bitch is getting on my nerves… can't we just kill her, Dosu?"

"You work for Orochimaru, don't you?" Sakura threw a kunai at Dosu and ducked the retaliatory sound wave.

She looked back at Sasuke and Naruto anxiously and in that moment, Zaku leapt on her.

His kunai stabbed straight into her gut. She gasped, the pain fast becoming unbearable. Zaku smirked and tore the kunai from her stomach.

"You asked for it…" Sakura choked out, one hand clasped over her stomach, the other forming seals one-handed.

Zaku froze.

He began screaming.

Dosu, who had been running towards them, stopped suddenly, "Zaku? What's wrong?"

Sakura's chakra was down to dangerous levels. She fell to her knees, but kept up the jutsu.

The illusory crows pecked at Zaku's face viciously.

Her hair was suddenly yanked back brutally. Kin, the girl she had kicked away, had grabbed hold of her locks and was now twisting them, hard.

"Agh!" Sakura cried out, her vision going blurry from the pain. Her wrist was hanging limply, though she had tried to set it herself and had found a few medicinal herbs for it. Her stomach was sluggishly pumping out blood. She felt weak.

"Wow, you must really like your hair, huh?" Kin smirked, twisting it around her fist, a few strands snapping off, "Release the genjutsu on Zaku!"

Tears spilled over her cheeks as she shook her head violently, trying to break Kin's grip. It was no good.

"Do it!" Kin shouted.

"No!" Sakura refused, ignoring the tears stinging in her eyes, "I won't!"

Dozu slapped Zaku.

He remained glassy-eyed from imaginary pain.

"Heh…" Sakura managed to laugh, "You want to break it yourself? Kill him."

"I could just kill you, little girl." Dosu said slowly.

"You can try." Sakura spat.

"Oh, I will…"

Sakura closed her eyes, her fingers digging grooves into the dirt painfully. Her stomach was on fire in pain and she was fast losing both strength and blood.

One day my techniques will save your life, her sensei had said.

But it looked like she was going to have to save herself.

She pulled out a kunai with difficulty, her hand shaking.

"That won't work on me." Kin sneered.

Sakura met the older girl's eyes.

"Who said it was for you?" She said mockingly.

Kin's eyes widened.

Sakura tore through her hair with the kunai, leaving it shorn and uneven.

She stood, free.

Dosu looked alarmed. Zaku was still at the mercy of her crows.

What should I do…? Sakura thought to herself. Should I summon Raban and ask for sensei to come?

No.

She would do this herself.

She ripped off the hem of her dress and tied it around the wound in her waist, ignoring the alarming way it began soaking up blood immediately.

She put her kunai between her teeth.

Kin had received a hard blow to the head when she fell, and was now dazed.

Sakura pointed at each of them.

"One left." She smiled, pointing at Dosu.

He glared at her.

"For the last time, who is Orochimaru?" Sakura asked.

"Your superior." Dosu's eye flared.

Sakura fell to the floor again. The sound waves had attacked her once more but this time… Sakura threw up violently, retching. They had messed up her balance. She could barely think straight.

She could see Lee out of the corner of her eye, lying still, blood trickling out of his ear. He had tried to assist her and look where that had got him.

Sakura had promised herself that she would protect them all.

She pushed herself up to her knees, swaying, her stomach churning violently. The world was spinning around her dizzily. Dosu's feet came in front of her face.

"I can do it…" She said, her voice slurred from pain, "I can!"

Then the ground was rushing up towards her and she fell into darkness.

xxxxxxxx

Screaming. High-pitched, shrill screaming. It was his own, Sasuke slowly realised. His younger self, watching as his brother replayed the events of his parents' deaths over and over again, just screaming. Itachi's cold red eyes were fixed upon his younger self. The six year old eventually crumbled and fell to the ground, a thin line of drool oozing from his mouth, eyes blank.

Sasuke remembered this day so well, replayed it in his head constantly, remembering what it felt like, what it looked like, how his father had been lying across his mother as though protecting her even in death, but seeing it now, again, right in front of him was enough to make him shake in anguish.

His old house eventually blurred away, his murderous brother's eyes faded into the darkness and suddenly he was facing his younger self once more.

His younger self was taunting him.

"They didn't have to die…" He said, his face streaked with tears and Sasuke was suddenly assaulted by images of his parents once more, "In the end, if you don't have strength you can't do anything. Because I didn't have strength, the entire clan was wiped out… Everyone was killed…"

Six year old Sasuke suddenly ripped away his eye, revealing a flash of Orochimaru's golden snake eye underneath.

His voice changed, suddenly rasping and frightening, "You let them die. All you did was watch," He sneered as Sasuke watched, aghast, "If only you had strength…"

Sasuke opened his eyes.

His chakra was raging, swirling around him in visible purple waves. Leaves were scattering in his wake.

He got up slowly, noting the sudden surge of power flaring inside him. The burning of his curse seal was stretching along his body.

He was in a cave. He looked around. Naruto lay next to him. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Where was Sakura?

He could hear talking from the mouth of the cave.

That weakling Team 10 were gathered around. Yamanaka was unconscious. Nara was staring at him, as was the fat one. The freak with the eyebrows was lying on the floor. As Sasuke looked at him he noticed a flash of pink and red next to him.

Sakura lay on her side, broken wrist awkwardly placed on her chest. Blood was seeping through a makeshift bandage around her waist. Her hair had been brutally and messily chopped off; tendrils lay around the clearing in bizarre streaks of pink. Her face was screwed up in pain even in unconsciousness.

Sasuke's jaw clenched painfully, his eyebrows drew sharply together in a deep, enraged scowl as his anger grew to dangerous levels

The curse seal spread to his face.

"Sakura…" He said, even his voice sounding off to him. He glared at the Nara, who shrank away from him, "Who hurt Sakura?"

The Nara said nothing and clutched the Yamanaka closer to his chest, eyes narrowing.

"We did it!" A sound nin said triumphantly.

Sasuke swung around to face him.

He bent down and picked up Sakura, looking into her sleeping face, carefully brushing some hair out of her eyes.

Rage boiled up inside him at the sight of her battered face. Sakura had been protecting him and Naruto and she had been savagely beaten for it.

Well, Sasuke would return the favour, a thousand times over.

He put her down gently, chakra still raging around him.

Hyuuga Neji and his female teammate were silently watching from a tree, above. Were all of these people watching as Sakura was beaten…?

The one who had accepted the blame for hurting Sakura went flying as Sasuke's fist struck his face after he appeared at his side suddenly.

"Zaku!" The bandaged one shouted, horrified.

Zaku got up slowly, wiping the blood off his face, looking furious.

He spread his hands wide, shouting, "Ultimate Zankuuha!"

Great swathes of air carved up the ground.

Sasuke grabbed Sakura and Naruto and leapt out of the way of the air explosion, reappearing behind Zaku.

"Ha! I've blown them away!" Zaku said smugly.

"Blown who away?" Sasuke asked, his tone mocking.

Sakura stirred on the ground, moaning slightly. She rolled over and opened her eyes.

Sasuke was gripping Zaku's arms, yanking them back in their sockets, a fanatical grin on his face, which was covered in strange markings.

Sakura tried to pull herself up.

Sasuke broke Zaku's arms viciously. Sakura gasped.

He turned to look at her, having heard her gasp. His eyes were Sharingan-red and narrowed in rage, his face covered by fiery red marks and he was surrounded by malevolent chakra. Orochimaru's chakra.

Sakura gazed at him in shock, barely even feeling the pain of her wounds.

"Sasuke… your body…" Sakura managed to say.

He clenched his fist and looked at the markings. "Don't worry. I can feel power overflowing inside me. I feel… great. Which one stabbed you?"

"Sasuke… what happened to you?" Sakura said, still too shocked to speak properly.

"Was it this one?" He said, ignoring her question, pointing at Dosu, who looked terrified.

"No, I didn't stab her!" He protested.

"You're the only one left…" Sasuke leered at him, his expression reminiscent of Orochimaru, "I hope you'll put up more of a fight…"

He started to walk towards him, his chakra beginning to flare strongly as his anger grew.

Sakura stumbled to her feet, gasping in pain, her arm wrapped around her stomach.

She staggered after Sasuke. Dosu was backing up in a panic.

Sasuke halted the moment she touched him.

She pulled him into a hug from behind, unable to stop the tears from falling.

"Stop!" She begged him.

He looked around at her, his eyes burning with intensity. She looked back at him, trying to portray her feelings in that one glance, her watery green eyes shining with emotion, her mouth open in silent plea.

The markings on his arm began to recede, disappearing up his sleeves.

He collapsed onto her.

xxxxxxxx

They were all gathered together, the final participants. It was announced that they would be fighting each other right away, risking their lives.

Sakura stared at the Hokage in dismay. Though her wound had healed slightly with the aid of medicinal herbs, her stomach was still delicate and painful. Just running would reopen it, so what on earth would fighting do? She really would be risking her life.

Not to mention Sasuke's curse seal was still hurting him…

"Sakura…" Sasuke said suddenly, surprising her, "Forfeit this match."

"What?" Sakura stared at him.

Naruto looked troubled.

"You were stabbed in the stomach and beaten up. You'll get killed if you fight." Sasuke said impatiently, still clutching his neck and grimacing from the pain.

"You really think I'm that fragile?" Sakura laughed self-deprecatingly, "Sasuke, I got stabbed in this test. Stabbed. Do you really think I'm going to quit now, and have it all have happened for nothing?"

"I don't want you to get hurt," Naruto said, his bottom lip quivering, though it had been ever since Kabuto had quit.

Sakura sighed, thinking about it seriously. Was it worth it?

Her sensei would be so disappointed in her if she quit now…

"I'm not giving up." Sakura shook her head, "I've come too far to quit now."

Sasuke scoffed, looking away.

After she had hugged him and he had regained his senses, she occasionally turned around and caught him staring at her newly-short hair, or the various wounds she had suffered whilst he lay unconscious, and she saw a fury in his eyes that frightened her.

Orochimaru…. Who was he? What did he want with Sasuke?

Watching Sasuke sweat from the pain the curse seal brought him made Sakura feel lucky to have escaped the same fate.

"Would you give up if you got stabbed? Are you going to give up because of the curse seal?" Sakura said knowingly.

Sasuke ignored her.

"I'll be fine, Sasuke." Sakura said reassuringly, "I won't die from something like this."

"You better not." Sasuke warned.

Sakura smiled.

Naruto still looked confused.

Sakura turned and saw Ino staring at her. Sakura had been unconscious when it happened, but apparently Ino and her team had charged in to protect her when she fell. And then, to her amusement, they themselves had needed to be saved by Neji and his teammate

Her relationship with Ino was strained. She had been a wonderful friend when she was younger, encouraging and caring, but Sakura had wanted to step out of her shadow, to be more than just Ino's shy friend, to become her own person. Sasuke had really only been part of the reason why she had stopped being friends with Ino.

Evidently, just as she had never stopped caring about Ino, she had never stopped caring either. Sakura couldn't help but smile at her ex-best friend. Ino's face registered surprise at Sakura's impromptu smile and she looked away.

Someone tapped on Sakura's shoulder.

"Sakura, how are you holding up?" Kurenai-sensei said, her red eyes perceptively sweeping over Sakura's injured form. Sakura noticed her eyes discreetly lingered on Sasuke's neck for a second, and realised the teacher's must already know about the curse seal. She looked around at Kakashi, who stared back at her. She glared at him. Cancel the fight! She thought to herself, stop Sasuke from fighting!

"Ha, I'm doing well, Kurenai-sensei," Sakura smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear self-consciously.

"What prompted the new look?" Kurenai raised her eyebrows.

Sakura glanced at Sasuke. He was staring at her steadily, waiting for her answer. He'd already heard her excuse to Naruto, why was he so interested in what she would say now?

"It kept getting in the way in the forest," Sakura shrugged, "I asked Ino to cut it for me."

Kurenai nodded approvingly, "It's all part of being a ninja. Practicality versus vanity. I keep my hair long because I couldn't bear it any other way, but also because I can negotiate through rough environments without being hindered by it."

Sakura eyed Kurenai's unruly locks of hair. The woman was one of the most beautiful ninja Sakura had ever seen, and she couldn't help but feel inferior next to her, covered in blood and grime, missing her long hair.

But the woman was right, of course. Sakura's long hair really had got in the way before she'd cut it.

Sakura only wondered what her sensei would think of it. Most likely he would approve of her choice but… for some reason it really mattered to her what he would think.

The Hokage coughed, and at that instant Kurenai gave Sakura an apologetic smile and disappeared in a puff of smoke, reappearing next to the Hokage.

"The first fight will begin shortly," He said, "Please gather together and wait for the first names to be called. Hayate, please explain the rules."


	7. Hurting Friends and Showing Mercy

Sakura stood in the middle of the stadium, staring at her opponent.

Ino looked slightly upset about who she was up against. Sakura sighed. How would she get Ino to fight her seriously, without holding back?

Hayate coughed lightly, "You know the rules. If you don't want die I suggest you forfeit the moment you feel you're in trouble."

Sakura nodded, barely listening.

Ino's blue eyes were watery, she was trembling slightly. She really didn't want to hurt Sakura.

"Begin." Hayate said, and teleported away.

Ino charged towards Sakura, her speed slow and faltering, her punch weak. Sakura allowed her to strike the first blow, and then kicked out at her chest to show the difference between them.

Ino went flying and landed hard onto the ground.

"Ino!" Shikamaru shouted.

I'm being harsh, Sakura thought to herself. But what else could she do? Ino would never fight with her full strength if she wasn't pushed to do so, it would be unfair to allow her to continue to pull her punches.

Her stomach wound ached, but Sakura ignored it. That Hyuuga Hinata girl had been kind enough to give Naruto some healing paste, and he had lent it to Sakura to use on her stab wound. It still hurt, but she was no longer afraid of ripping it open in the middle of battle.

She needed to show Ino that if she didn't fight properly, she'd get hurt.

Before Ino could get up, Sakura formed a few hand seals and created an illusionary mist, filling the stadium. It was designed to block the vision of anyone in the vicinity whose chakra signature did not match the caster. Sakura could see the red-headed nin from Suna creating an eye out of sand that looked down at them. Hyuuga Neji was probably looking straight through her mist with ease with his Byakugan, same with Kakashi.

Ino, however, did not have the benefit of kekkei genkai that allowed her to see through genjutsu, and Sakura could see her freeze, looking around carefully.

Sakura knew that the moment she moved, Ino would be able to pinpoint her location just by using her ears. Sakura's chakra had been fully replenished, but she still refused to use her favourite technique, the Dusk Crow Genjutsu. One, her sensei had advised her to only use it in life or death situations and two, Ino used to be her friend. You didn't use dark, painful techniques on old friends.

Sakura went to grab a few shuriken and suddenly felt reluctant. This must be how Ino was feeling. To use weapons on someone she used to look up to, to depend on, admire, her oldest friend… She couldn't do it.

She would end this fight with nothing but her bare hands.

She flew at Ino, pumping chakra to her feet and exploding off the ground. Ino's head snapped round when she heard the loud footsteps. She drew a few kunai, looking nervous.

That's right. Come and get me.

Ino's fist went straight through the illusionary Sakura's stomach. The real Sakura swept her feet from under her and held a kunai to her throat. Ino felt the metal scratch her skin and panicked, scrambling backwards, too frightened to think straight.

That was what the mist was designed for. Quick, assassin-style kills, and to unnerve the opponent. Sakura had allowed the clone's footsteps to be heard to frighten Ino, and to cover the sound of her real self sneaking up behind her.

"Get up, Ino. I'm taking this fight seriously, even if you aren't." The illusionary Sakura taunted Ino, running around here and there, her fake footsteps echoing.

Sakura wasn't quite good enough at Kage Bunshin to make fully solid, flesh and blood copies of herself, but she could add voice and weight to her clones, and took full advantage of this.

She chose her hiding place well, out of Ino's striking range but close enough for her to keep up the clone without exerting unnecessary chakra.

The mist was eating up her chakra on its own, though, so Sakura wanted to wrap this up quickly.

Ino wasn't stupid. She was listening carefully, having figured out that the light footsteps were real and the heavy ones were fake.

"You never could fight fair, Sakura." Ino spat, "You always rely on some freaky illusion, you can't fight for yourself."

Sakura made her clone laugh eerily in the mist.

"Trying to distract me, Ino-pig? Your insults won't make me drop my mist. You're the one not fighting fair. Stop standing there and attack me!" Her clone said mockingly.

Ino gritted her teeth.

Sakura could see the red-headed nin withdrawing his sand eye technique, clearly bored of all the talking.

Maybe it was time to finish the fight.

She could have technically finished it when her kunai lay across Ino's throat, one quick slice and she'd have been done. But how could she have hurt Ino like that?

The mist, the mocking words, the frightening close-call with the kunai – they were all designed to make Ino forget who she was fighting and force her to fight seriously. But it looked as though Ino was determined to cling to the past.

Sakura reined in a sigh. She definitely had to speak to Ino after the fight.

"Just come over here and fight me!" Ino shouted. Sakura just barely heard Shikamaru groan from behind her.

Fine.

Let Ino see her for the ninja she was, not the frightened, timid little girl she used to be.

Watch me, Ino, Sakura thought.

She closed her eyes, concentrating fiercely.

"Yeah! Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled out happily. Sakura's eyebrow twitched, her concentration slipping slightly. Kakashi was probably updating Naruto on what was going on.

The mist dropped in an instant.

Ino blinked.

The stadium was suddenly filled with identical Sakuras.

Ino looked around her, aghast.

Sakura nearly laughed.

"Come find me!" The clones chorused together.

Ino slashed at one with her kunai. It sliced through the illusionary flesh.

It was essentially a maze of Sakura clones. Ino would have to attack every single one, all the while fending off Sakura's attacks.

The clones weren't solid, unlike Naruto's favourite technique, meaning that when Sakura attacked, it would be obvious which one she was.

She had a plan.

The clones all charged at Ino.

One of them held a very solid-looking kunai. She was hiding behind the others subtly as they ran, hanging back.

Ino's eyes focused on that one, and didn't notice the very solid Sakura charging towards her, mimicking the body language of the other clones.

Sakura watched Ino attack the clone with the kunai and she leapt behind her.

Ino fell as Sakura's hand struck a pressure point, knocking her out instantly.

Sakura closed her eyes.

Release.

The multiple Sakuras vanished within one second.

There was silence for a moment as the onlookers digested what had happened.

"YEAH! SAKURA-CHAN! WELL DONE!" Naruto yelled happily, waving excitedly.

Sakura looked around at the ninja watching. Kurenai gave her an approving nod. Shikamaru and Chouji looked disappointed. Hyuuga Neji's Byakugan was still activated.

If only Sasuke had been there to see her triumph.

Asuma dropped down next to Ino, picking her up gently. He examined her neck and winced, "That'll bruise."

"I could have done worse." Sakura said grimly. And it was true. She had the materials in her bag to tear Ino to ribbons in that mist, and yet she'd knocked her out just by using pressure points, like a Hyuuga.

Her sensei had impressed upon her the value of life, and not to take pleasure in hurting others. Not only that, but Ino was someone Sakura could never fight seriously, with weapons and serious chance of death. She still cared.

Asuma nodded, acknowledging Sakura's respect. She'd held back and tried to force Ino to fight seriously. She couldn't do more than that.

A medic team came over to check on Ino. Sakura made her way back up the stairs, aware that she was being stared at by quite a few other ninja.

Kakashi and Naruto were there to congratulate her when she got up the steps.

"Well done, Sakura. Though you could have finished that fight a lot quicker." Kakashi said, his dark eye curious.

Sakura smiled at them both and leant on the railings, "How could I have? I could never attack Ino, not properly."

"Sakura-san!" Lee said suddenly, bounding up to her, "Well done! I could see the flames of your youth burning even through that mist! It was amazing!"

"Thank you, Lee-san." Sakura accepted the praise with a slight, embarrassed blush.

"You have good control over genjutsu," Hyuuga Neji suddenly appeared next to Lee, "But you waste opportunities to strike in favour of attacking softly later on. You should not hold back."

"A good ninja differentiates between practise fights and real battles. Being vicious and brutal with your opponents doesn't make you a better ninja." Sakura shrugged.

"Holding back shows good restraint," Kakashi clapped Sakura on the shoulder, "But you should be a little more vicious with an enemy ninja."

Sakura glared at him and rubbed her shoulder, which stung from the friendly blow.

Her sensei hadn't taught her to crave battle. He'd taught her to avoid it. Sakura looked at the window longingly. She wished she could see her sensei and explain how the fight had gone. There was only one person she wanted to impress with her skills, and he wasn't here.

Everyone else got to have their sensei with them. Sakura glanced at Kakashi sourly. He stared back at her blankly.

Sakura rested her chin on her arms, still leaning on the railings, peering over the edge.

Maybe one day her sensei could walk around the village with her, after he explained to her why he couldn't even tell her his name. Maybe it was something simple and innocent?

Maybe it wasn't.

At least she wasn't betraying her village. That had been her worst fear, and it had been a weight off her shoulders when he confirmed she wasn't a traitor. She could see in guileless black eyes that he was sincere.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura slipped away once the fighting ended, inwardly bursting with pride after all of her team passed. She headed to the medical room, hoping to see Ino.

It was a dark room, filled with hastily assembled beds and medical equipment. There was a strong smell of disinfectant.

Hinata lay in a makeshift hospital bed, bruises and red marks adorning her skin. She was still unconscious. Sakura paused at her bedside and winced, recalling her conversation with Neji about being brutal with your opponents. He had beaten Hinata severely, not seeming to care that he outmatched her by several levels.

Naruto had been so angry.

Ino was sitting up in a bed, one hand clasped over her neck and the other absently trailing over the blanket.

"Ino," Sakura said quietly. Ino jumped and stared at her, her expression cool and unfriendly, "Hi."

"Hi." Ino replied, her voice distinctly frosty.

"I'm sorry, Ino." Sakura said, coming to stand by Ino's bedside.

"Why would you be? We aren't friends, remember?" Ino scowled at the wall.

"Well, I just thought –"

"Why are you here? Why are you even talking to me?" Ino turned her glare on her instead, her platinum blonde hair released from its usual ponytail, cascading down her back in pale waves. Her face was angry and hurt, "You just humiliated me!"

"What? No I didn't!"

"You spent the whole fight hiding behind that mist and then you ended the fight with one blow. Everyone thinks I'm a total weakling, thanks to you." Ino gritted her teeth and stared down at her lap.

Sakura rubbed the back of her head, "So… you're angry because I beat you?"

"I'm angry because you stopped being friends with me for a guy!" Ino suddenly snapped, her eyes filling with angry tears.

"But, Ino, that was years ago…"

"So what? You… you piss me off, Sakura!" Ino said fiercely and turned away to hide her tears.

Sakura frowned at the back of Ino's head. She sighed and sat down next to Ino on her bed. She wiped her eyes angrily and sniffed, but didn't try to stop Sakura from sitting next to her.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Ino." Sakura said quietly. She cut off Ino's incredulous snort with a hand, "But I guess I did. I'm sorry for choosing Sasuke over you."

Ino's shoulders shook.

Sakura took a risk and grabbed Ino's hand. She didn't fight her off, but collapsed into tears, her free hand covering her face.

They sat in the medical room quietly holding hands, the only sounds were Ino's sobs and Hinata's laboured breathing.

I was a selfish idiot, Sakura thought, her eyes shadowed with guilt. And too proud to say sorry earlier. I thought I was being noble and merciful, not hurting Ino, but I was just showing off how much I'd grown. Look at me! Look at how much better I am than you now!

She hated admitted her faults, but she had to admit to herself she had been massively in the wrong here.

"I'm sorry." She said again.

Ino swallowed back her tears and nodded.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura stumbled home, grinning like an idiot despite the growing pain in her stomach. As she hobbled down the street, a crow flew past her face, the breeze from its wings messing up her hair.

"Raban-san!" She gasped.

The crow settled on the ground in front of her and stared at her, eyes curious.

"Sakura-san," Raban said, his head tilting, "Your hair is shorter than before, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, I just had it cut." Sakura patted her hair back into place neatly, a disarming grin on her face.

The bird bobbed its head in an awkward imitation of a nod. The human gesture was oddly endearing on the bird, so Sakura bent down and patted it on the head.

The crow allowed her to stroke his feathers before flapping his wings, hovering just above the ground.

"I will go alert your sensei. He is in the usual place." Raban said dutifully.

"No wait, I can surprise him." Sakura grinned playfully.

"I wouldn't advise it. He never liked surprises." The bird shook his head and took off into the sky.

Sakura watched him fly off with a smile. Her sensei didn't like surprises? She had not heard that about him before. He was such a private person.

She ran to the forest as fast as she could, her muscles feeling stretched and painful from all the fighting she had done recently. She could suddenly feel every bruise and cut like they had just been inflicted, all throbbing in unison.

A cough caught her attention.

Her sensei was leaning against a fence, staring at the Hokage Monument with a pensive expression on his face. Sakura stopped abruptly, her mouth falling open in surprise.

She watched as he pushed himself off of the fence, eyes closed, turning towards her.

His dark eyes opened and fell upon her. Remembering her insecurities that had pained her whilst standing next to Kurenai, Sakura shifted awkwardly under his intense gaze.

He folded his arms, the only sign of his anger the slight narrowing of his eyes. Even so, Sakura fidgeted like a naughty child, wondering what she had done this time.

"Sakura," He said in his low, deep voice, "Why did you change your hair?"

She had lied about it so many times by now she couldn't even remember why she didn't just tell the truth.

"Ha, I was… I tried to protect Naruto and Sasuke when they… when they were unconscious and a ninja grabbed my hair and I cut it off to escape them." Sakura aimed to explain it in a light-hearted voice, to put her sensei at ease. If anything, it had the opposite effect.

Her sensei's eyes grew cold.

"This was in the chuunin exam? Where was it held?"

"The Forest of Death." Sakura couldn't repress the shudder at the memories of that dark, dark forest and the things that had lurked in its shadows.

Her sensei looked down at the ground with a sigh. Sakura thought she saw him mouth the word, 'cruel.'

"That forest… you were unlucky to get that. Why did you need to protect Naruto and Sasuke?"

"We were attacked by a really strong ninja, sensei… I think he knew who you were, I tried to use my jutsu against him and he brushed them off like they were nothing. His name was Orochimaru." Sakura said, watching her sensei carefully for his reaction.

He stiffened and gave her a sideways glance, "You fought Orochimaru?" He asked, his voice sounding odd.

"Only a for bit, he broke my wrist and he bit Sasuke."

Her sensei's eyes flickered to her wrists absently – though the broken bone had long since been healed – before his head snapped round to stare at her properly.

"He bit Sasuke? Where?"

"On his neck, sensei. He called it a curse seal."

The older man pushed his hair back with one hand, his intense gaze still fixed on her face.

"He gave Sasuke the curse seal…" He said quietly, almost to himself.

"I fought off some other ninja who wanted to kill Sasuke, but I… I fainted… I'm sorry, sensei. When I woke up, Sasuke was so angry… Orochimaru's chakra was hanging around him…" Sakura faltered, remembering that awful day, the fear of sudden ambushes, the long, lonely night, the pain of being stabbed, the rising nausea after the sound waves had assaulted her eardrums, hitting the ground and waking up to see a monster wearing Sasuke's face…

Sakura was surprised when something wet dripped down her face. She touched her cheek, confused. She was crying.

Her sensei looked up at her sharply and sighed at her tears.

He looked around quickly, then pulled her towards him gently, her forehead colliding with his chest awkwardly, his arms folding around her back.

"It's OK to cry, Sakura." He said quietly, as though lost in some far off memory.

Sakura tried to hold back the tears, but it was as though there was a residual sense of fear clinging to her left over from the forest and she gave in to the sobs and wound her arms around his stomach.

Her sensei rested his chin on top of her head and listened to her cry, anger beginning to grow inside of him like a sickness.


	8. Sudden Ambushes and Stained Hands

The stadium was packed. It looked like everyone from Konoha had showed up, the crowds squeezed into the seats, a single mass of moving colour. It was good weather conditions for a fight, sunny but not bright enough to blind you in the middle of battle.

The contestants lined up. Sakura looked at them all carefully, wondering which of them she would fight, if she managed to beat Dosu. Aburame Shino was as inscrutable as ever, his body language relaxed, his face and eyes covered. Naruto was buzzing with excitement and worry – probably concerned that Sasuke hadn't shown up yet. Dosu's single eye was fixed on the Kage seats. Sakura felt a flicker of apprehension upon examining him. He looked confident. Shikamaru looked bored as usual.

The redhead from Suna, Gaara, kept staring at each contestant as Sakura did, his gaze hungry. She hoped she wouldn't have to fight him. His siblings looked tense. The tall one with the kabuki face paint winked at her when he noticed her stare. She grimaced. Hinata's cousin looked completely at ease, as though he fought shinobi in front of the entire village every day.

Sakura looked up, hoping to see a black shape amidst the clouds, but no. Raban was nowhere to be seen. She carefully examined the audience, trying to spot a henge jutsu at work, knowing it was pointless. If anyone in that crowd was truly confident enough to use henge in front of all the ninja in the village, they would be too skilled for her to see through, no matter how Kurenai-sensei had raved about her discerning eyes.

Sasuke had still not arrived. Sakura could see a ripple of tension go through the crowd, they had shown up to see the young Uchiha fight, and yet he was not here. Sakura bit her lip. Was it possible that Orochimaru could have…?

The Hokage cleared his throat and addressed the crowd, his voice strong and clear despite his age. The Kazekage watched him during his speech, waving a hand towards his face every so often, as though uncomfortable. Sakura frowned. There was something odd about that –

The referee, Genma (the previous one seemed to have died), stood forward and held a piece of paper out.

It was a diagram of the matches. Sakura scowled. She had an extra match. How unfair!

"Alright guys, this is the final test." Genma said, a senbon clenched between his teeth as he talked, "The arena is different but the rules are the same as in the prelims. There are none. You fight until one of you dies or acknowledges defeat. But if I determine that the fight is over… I'll step in and stop it, OK?"

Naruto was first. He glared at Neji, who returned it with his own icy scowl.

Sakura followed the others to the waiting room. The single girl from Suna was in front of Sakura as they walked. Sakura noticed the girl's tanned legs were shaking, and wondered if it was too cold for her here.

Dosu walked a respectful distance from Sakura and stood far away from her when they reached the waiting room where the contestants stayed until their fight. Sakura glanced at him, noticing him flinch under her stare. Was he still frightened of Sasuke's wrath? How on earth was he going to fight her?

Sakura spotted Ino in the crowd and waved. She waved back, sticking her tongue out at her.

Then Naruto suddenly morphed into many Narutos and Sakura started to pay attention to the fight. Neji stood alone, his cold eyes slowly sweeping over the bunshin.

Naruto charged.

xxxxxxxx

Dosu leapt over the side of the railings and landed neatly on the ground, his head up, expecting Sakura to follow suit.

Sakura shook her head and patiently walked down the stairs. As if she was going to risk injuring herself before the fight!

She was so scared. It was difficult to stop herself shaking, but she managed it.

Sasuke had arrived just before her fight, flashy as usual, spinning into the centre of the stadium in a flurry of leaves, Kakashi at his side. Sakura had rolled her eyes. At his arrival, Gaara seemed to lose control. He started to shake violently, the sand in his gourd rattling. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Sasuke, who stood next to Naruto in the waiting area. He would have definitely attacked there and then had he not been surrounded by shinobi who would stop him, Sakura thought with a shudder. Before Sasuke had arrived Gaara had spent his time staring at Lee, who had done his best to ignore him.

The crowd booed as Sakura walked out into the arena. It was nothing personal. They had been waiting for Sasuke's fight for a long time, and now an unknown genin from Konoha was fighting a ninja from a small, practically unheard of village. It was no wonder they were bored.

A crow cawed from above Sakura's head. She grinned. Sensei.

"Are you ready to fight?" Genma asked.

Sakura nodded, putting some ear plugs in. Dosu's eye narrowed.

The world fell silent.

"Begin." Genma said. The crowd, despite their previous disinterest, moved forward slightly.

This kind of wide open space was no good for Sakura. Had she been as good as Kurenai she could have summoned a forest, a fog and a thousand crows and just waited for her opponent to fall into a trap.

Dosu was waiting for her to get close so he could touch her and send sound waves through the water in her body.

No thanks, Sakura thought, and disappeared.

She heard the crowd murmur. It was a very tricky concealment jutsu, any shinobi worth his salt would be able to spot her, but Dosu had the disadvantage of having only one eye, and thus no real binocular depth perception.

Keep silent, Sakura warned herself, and slowly reached for a kunai.

The sun glinted off the metal, and Dosu attacked, launching himself at the glint. Sakura hurled the kunai and watched him freeze, confused. He could not tell where it had come from.

It would be hard on a sunny day like this but Sakura had a plan.

He couldn't hear much beneath those bandages, that much was obvious by the way he tilted his head constantly, trying to hear better.

The crowd murmured as silvery fog crept across the arena, blocking out the sun. It was a magnificent sight, grey mist thickening and arching over the stadium, leaving the audience blind.

Inside the eye of the fog, Sakura breathed out.

In an instant Dosu was upon her, knocking her hands from their seal and breaking the fog for a split second.

Standing in the waiting room, Sasuke and Naruto were peering out into the fog, searching for any sign of Sakura. Sasuke's Sharingan eyes were fixed upon a single spot. They narrowed when they caught a glimpse of Sakura, newly visible, being pinned to the ground by Dosu.

Kakashi pulled down his mask.

Shit, Sakura thought frantically, she wasn't built for close combat. Nevertheless, she kicked upwards, catching him in the stomach. She received an elbow to the ribs for her effort, and cursed. What had once been what she had considered a very sophisticated plan had dissolved into a common street brawl.

Screw this. Sakura brought her hands together and formed a seal, praying Dosu wouldn't have time to send sound waves through her body.

Dosu froze after Sakura had tapped him on the shoulder, a light touch that had him stiffen up and topple off of her.

It was then that she saw the feather. She pulled out the ear plugs and looked around, confused.

Raban cawed a warning and suddenly thousands of feathers were drifting through the air. Sakura felt the familiar itch of unfamiliar chakra trying to take over her system. She shrugged it off with a hand seal and very little effort.

Genjutsu, she thought, narrowing her eyes up at the stadium. She held up a hand and released the fog.

The ninja were fighting all of a sudden, she could hear the clashing of metal and shouts from the audience. The civilians were sound asleep, to her surprise. Realising the match was over, regardless of who'd won, Sakura released the paralysis jutsu on Dosu.

A kunai flashed in front of her face and she cried out in pain. Dosu had suddenly appeared in front of her, slashing across her neck in the obvious hope of a quick kill. She had tilted her neck ever so slightly and managed to avoid a deeper cut.

A crash drew her attention. The wall of the stadium was crumbling underneath the weight of a huge monstrous-like figure, staggering drunkenly through the arena, sand pouring from it as it looked around.

Sasuke chased after it, only pausing to look worriedly in Sakura's direction. She waved him on, her eyes on Dosu.

She glared at him balefully, jaw clenched against the pain.

"What's going on?" She demanded.

"This is a war between Oto and Konoha. And our ally, Suna." Dosu said, sounding like he was grinning.

Sakura felt sick. But… Suna was Konoha's ally! She had a sudden surge of fear, and looked wildly at the Kage seats. She couldn't see anything.

When the Kazekage waved his hand at his face, she'd thought it odd… Why would the leader of a hot, desert country find a leafy, breezy village too hot?

A gigantic snake suddenly emerged from a massive cloud of smoke, its great purple head diving into the crowd.

Several people screamed.

"Who is that?" Sakura shouted at Dosu, her suspicions horribly confirmed "That is not the Kazekage!"

Orochimaru!

She thought she detected surprise in his single eye, "Oh you are a clever one, aren't you?" He said slowly, drawing a kunai, "You heard the rules… that referee won't stop us unless one of us forfeits… or dies. Are you going to forfeit or die?" He said creepily.

"Oh, shut up." Sakura spat, drawing a kunai of her own.

"Have you ever used one of those, little girl? They are dangerous tools, not toys. Tell me… have you drawn a kunai across a man's throat and watched the blood bubble in his mouth as he slowly chokes to death on his own blood? I have… It is… quite the sight to behold, little girl… Have you ever sliced a man's stomach open, and marvelled at how long a man can live with his insides hanging out?"

"No," Sakura said coldly, hoping that somehow her intense fear wasn't obvious, "But I guess I'm about to find out."

"Indeed."

Sakura's arm protested as it was drawn sharply back, Dosu's hand clenched around her wrist, the other hand holding a kunai that came slicing down towards her –

Raban clawed at Dosu's face, his wings flapping furiously as his feet scratched welts in the sound ninja's face. The bandages tied around his head were torn slightly and stained with blood by the time Raban flew back, landing on Sakura's shoulder.

"Keep a cool head, Sakura-san!" Raban shouted, his beady eyes darting around the shinobi running about the arena.

"Thank you, Raban-san!" Sakura leapt backwards, avoiding Dosu's strike.

The man was panting, deep scratches bleeding sluggishly on his face. He glared at her.

"I will inform your sensei of what is happening," Raban said. He paused, about to fly off, then rubbed her face with the flat side of his beak, an almost affectionate gesture, "Do not die in my absence. This is your first taste of war, Sakura-san. Let it not be your last."

Sakura bit her lip, then nodded. She wished Raban would stay with her, but knew she had to be strong. This was what was being a shinobi was all about.

She fought with Dosu for a while, surprising herself with the ferocity she displayed, matching him strike for strike, avoiding his sound amplifying weapon and getting in a few hits of her own.

She could see the jounin and chuunin picking off the enemies slowly, Kakashi standing back to back with Gai, surrounded by enemy ninja. She was surprised by her fear for her sensei.

She didn't feel any pain, but she felt the hot gush of blood as Dosu's kunai finally found its target, slicing open her upper arm. This distracted her long enough for him to plant a hard kick in her side, sending her spinning to the ground.

She hit the floor with a pained shriek; her sliced arm feeling like it was one fire.

Dosu knelt beside her, keeping her legs still with one, heavy leg pinning her knees to the ground.

Tears blurred her eyes. Oh God, she didn't want to die… Sensei…

"Fuck this," Sakura suddenly snarled with language that would have shocked her sensei, and drove her kunai into Dosu's leg.

The dirt stung her wounds as she shifted, keeping her kunai lodged in Dosu's leg. He was bucking now, in agony as she ripped through his leg slowly.

One light touch against his shoulder and he froze once again, trembling in pain and fear.

Sakura pulled herself up again, pulling her kunai from his leg and pointing it at the centre of his chest.

Her hand stilled. She couldn't do it. Tears dripped from her eyes as she shook, her breath near hysterical.

The snake reared again, its fangs flashing in the sunlight, and smashed through the stadium wall. Screams and cries of agony sounded out.

Sakura grabbed the kunai with both hands, the metal feeling slippery beneath her sweaty palms.

"This is for Konoha." Sakura said quietly and plunged the kunai into Dosu's chest.

He gasped, his breath coming out in a death rattle. His eye bulged in silent accusation as Sakura sobbed over him, then dulled as his heart seized.

"No." Sakura sobbed, "No, no… I can't…"

She pushed herself to her feet, swaying as the blood loss kicked in. Her arm was still bleeding.

Everywhere she looked, people were dying.

Dosu lay where she left him, his body sagging in a way that only corpses did.

Sakura felt nausea rise within her and threw up messily.

Kakashi appeared before her.

She knew what a sight she must look, her lips and chin covered in vomit, her arm smeared in blood and tears streaming down her face.

"I killed him." Sakura said hysterically.

Kakashi spared the fallen Dosu one glance and pulled Sakura to him. "I killed him." She repeated, quieter now, her words confirming something to herself, like a click in her mind, a permanent change in her body. She was a killer.

"I know." Kakashi said, equally reticent. He heaved a sigh, "God, I remember how this felt. You need to be strong, Sakura. This fight's not over. I need you to do something for me. Well, for Sasuke."

There was no comforting caw of a crow, no familiar weight of her sensei's hand on her shoulder, just this strange, lesser version of her real sensei. Sakura gave in to the child inside her and cried harder. Kakashi's arms tightened around her paternally.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura limped home, the medics having been too busy to see to any wound except her arm, so every step was painfully slow.

She was crying again, and hating herself for it. How ridiculous she was! Even Shikamaru had killed before. So what if she knew the name and village of the shinobi she had dispatched? She should feel proud. This was a breakthrough in her career; it was nothing to cry about. Dosu would have killed her if she hadn't killed him first. That was a fact. She should take comfort in the knowledge that she had the first blow.

She put the key in the front door and slumped in front of it, her head resting on the door. Her wrist felt weak. The key slipped from her grasp.

The events of the day kept flashing before her eyes.

A thousand white feathers drifting lazily from the sky.

The caw of a crow, startling in its volume and urgency.

The villagers slumped in their seats, either dead or sleeping, Sakura did not know…

The cruel maw of the snake closing around a few screaming people, silencing them with a single crunch.

Her own blood flowing slickly through her fingers as she pressed her hand to the gaping wound.

Dosu's dying gasp, the sickening vibrancy of his blood and the astonishing amount that poured from his body and stained Sakura's shaking hands…

Sakura wept, holding her hands away from her as though disgusted by their proximity.

The sudden terror that had seized her when Gaara flew at her.

The abrupt sensation of being thrown against the tree, the audible crack of her ribs, Naruto's cries…

It all flew through her in that moment as she sagged against the front door and cried. How could she look her mother in the eye? What if she somehow found out? Would she think her daughter a monster?

Someone placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she jumped in surprise, turning her head to peer at the person who had crept up on her through tear-swollen eyes.

Her sensei stared down at her, an unfamiliar black cloak with red clouds gathered around him against the chill of the night.

"Sakura?" He said, his voice rough.

"Sensei!" Sakura wanted to hug him so badly, but she did not want to annoy him. She kept her hands to herself, irrationally certain they were still coated in blood despite her scrubbing them clean several times.

He frowned at her for a long moment, then made an impatient "tsk," sound and wrapped his arms around her.

"What happened?" He murmured.

"I killed someone!" Sakura said frantically, grabbing hold of the warm cloak and bunching it up in her fists in her eagerness for comfort.

She felt her sensei stiffen in apparent shock, then felt a soft breath of a sigh on her ear as he hugged her harder.

"I'm sorry, Sakura." He said solemnly, "I hoped you wouldn't have to… I had plans… I… this is the last thing I wanted."

Sakura tried to hold back her tears, conscious of getting his cloak wet. She felt ashamed, knowing he was probably marvelling at her childishness, not being able to handle killing someone. She was a ninja. She could not fall to pieces with every kill. But, at the realisation that there would be more dead people at her hand, she felt a wave of despair. She could not – would not go through this again. She just couldn't. She felt as though she was looking at her friends, her teachers, even some of her family and wondering if she really knew them at all. If they were capable of murder…

But then, so was she. She had proved that.

She was a murderer.

"Come with me." Her sensei said suddenly, pulling back from the hug in order to gaze at her. His face darkened at her defeated expression.

She obediently moved to step forward, ready to follow him anywhere, but he shook his head.

"No," He shook his head, and for the first time Sakura could ever remember, her sensei looked nervous, "That's not what I meant. I mean, come with me. Forever. Leave this place."

Sakura took an unconscious step backwards, towards her front door.

"I can't leave," She said, an odd kind of severity to her words, "I would be a missing nin if I abandoned my village."

"So quit." He made a frustrated hand gesture.

"No!" Sakura protested, "I won't quit and I can't leave. I'm sorry, sensei, but this is my home. My friends, my family, my life is –"

"Yes, I know. I had simply forgotten," Her sensei interrupted, looking away, "I just think this place is going to twist you, corrupt you… turn you into a murderer."

"Shinobi are murderers, sensei." Sakura said, her face still flinching at the word 'murderer,' "And I'm not twisted or corrupted… he was going to kill me… we were in the middle of a war, sensei…"

"A war," He repeated, his tone sour, "Where children are forced to fight whilst Kages watch from the safety of their hideouts. This is no place or time for you, Sakura. Come with me. I know you would be shocked at first by the truth, but I know you are intelligent enough to understand why I did what I did. You are my student. Your place is by my side."

"My place is here." Sakura disagreed softly, pointing to her front door.

Her sensei stared at her for a moment, the coldness of his eyes frightening her.

"Do you understand what I am saying to you?" He asked, his dark eyes intensely focused upon her own, soft green ones, "I'm telling you to choose. You can choose to live here, and grow up a monster or not grow up at all, or you can choose to come with me, and fight by my side, knowing you are safe with me."

The wind blew harder at that point, lifting Sakura's short, choppy hair and waving it as she looked steadily back at her sensei.

"You are asking me to betray my village." Sakura said, her voice hushed and frightened. She had never once suspected her sensei would want her to leave Konoha with him.

He looked as though he would deny it and then sighed, "I am." He confirmed.

Sakura thought of her friends, Naruto, Sasuke, Ino… everyone… her family… even Kakashi-sensei.

She shook her head silently.

"You don't want to come." He said flatly.

Sakura lowered her eyes.

"When Raban said you were in a warzone… do you know how worried I was? And I couldn't even come to your aid, couldn't set foot in that arena… I don't think I could live without knowing you were safe." He admitted.

Before Sakura could blink, a hand was clasped around the back of her neck, pushing her head down. She let out a muffled cry. For the first time it occurred to her that she was scared of her sensei.

He seemed to sense her fear and cursed. He released her neck. She pressed herself against the front door, terrified he would suddenly attack.

He wiped away her tears gently.

"Don't look so frightened." He sighed, "I was going to knock you out, not kill you."

Hands settled on her shoulders like fluttering birds, and for the briefest of seconds there was a tiny pressure on her forehead. Her sensei moved his face away from hers with something regret and shame in his eyes.

"Don't think me capable of hurting you," He almost pleaded, "I am not that much of a monster."

The front door key glinted in the moonlight, lying on the grass as her sensei stole away into the darkness, leaving trace behind him except the tingling skin of her forehead and the wiped away tears on her face.


	9. Brand Marks and Crushed Petals

"Sakura!" Sasuke said, looking panicked, "Have you seen Naruto?"

Sakura frowned in thought, "Um… no, not today. Except for this morning, he was eating ramen. Have you checked that restaurant he always goes to?"

"Of course!" Sasuke snapped, "The owner said a man named Jiraiya took him somewhere, to a town…"

"Jiraiya?" Sakura repeated, confused, "He's one of the Sannin, isn't he? What would he want with Naruto?"

"That's what I want to find out." Sasuke said grimly.

He turned and ran off, sprinting towards Konoha's exit. Sakura caught sight of the curse seal on his neck and shivered.

Something was wrong with Naruto? He was missing… taken by one of the Sannin, of all people? If Sasuke was worried enough to forget to conceal his concern, then Naruto was in real danger.

Sakura made her decision quickly, and chased after Sasuke, making sure to keep at a distance. He might not want her to come with him.

After Sakura had refused to leave her room for a few days, Team 7 had eventually turned up to drag her out, and had been horrified by what they had seen. Sakura had still been pale and shaking, sitting on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, eyes blank. She was still suffering the effects of her first kill, and the knowledge that for the first time in six years she was truly alone after her sensei had retreated into the night.

He hadn't come back.

She'd truly made her choice, and that choice was Konoha. There was no room in her life for her sensei anymore. She told herself over and over again that her friends, her family, her village were all far more important than one mysterious man who didn't even trust her enough to tell her his name.

It didn't stop her staring out of her window at night, looking out for a crow, repeating in her mind over and over again, I changed my mind, come back.

The fact that he'd admitted she'd betray her village if she came with him had been what had made up her mind. Haruno Sakura may be a lot of things, the weak link in her team, bad-tempered and plagued by insecurity, but she was no traitor.

When Naruto broke down her bedroom door and Team 7 had tumbled in, Sakura looked at them all and burst into tears. How could she possibly ever betray them? She would end up just another rogue ninja, a genin who'd betrayed her village the first chance she got. Her mother would be spat at in the street, ostracised by the community. The shock of it could affect her grandmother's health.

Her other sensei, her technically real sensei, Kakashi. He had comforted her straightaway after she'd killed Dosu. Where was her other sensei? Why could he not enter the arena? Sakura pictured Kakashi's face after he learned of her betrayal, and saw a man with slumped shoulders, a hidden disappointed grimace and pain-filled eyes.

Team 7 would be destroyed. She pictured Naruto's confused face, slowly giving way to disbelieving devastation upon being told of Sakura's treason. She saw Sasuke understanding instantly what she had done and the condemnation she knew he'd feel nearly killed her. He wouldn't be like Naruto, who would insist she'd really been kidnapped and they needed to save Sakura-chan right now! Sasuke would write her off as a filthy traitor and add her name to list of people he wanted to kill. There was that 'certain man' he'd mentioned, and now her.

Kakashi might have even been part of the team sent to bring her back.

Yes, with his nin dogs' excellent tracking ability, she knew he would be the one leading the team that would either kill her or capture her. Would it hurt? Would he feel betrayed? Would he be the one to kill her?

If he did kill her, she would not receive a proper Konoha ninja's burial, a respectful event where all who knew you showed up to mourn your death as you were carried through the village. She would be tossed on a pile of traitors, thieves and murderers, and either burnt or left to rot. She pictured her classmates watching the abrupt bonfire of her corpse. Ino would cry. Even people she hadn't known well, like Kiba and Shikamaru, would surely be bewildered and upset. These were the people who had known her since she was a child.

No matter how much she cared about her sensei, her loyalty to her village was too strong to break for a man who she did not know well enough to call a friend.

It didn't matter that he'd looked so disappointed when she'd shaken her head no. It didn't matter. He'd asked her to do something that went against her nature.

Haruno Sakura was no traitor, Sakura vowed, running after Sasuke.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura rounded the corner of the hotel, beginning to feel frustrated. Sasuke had led her on a wild goose chase, running here and there, changing direction so quickly she'd actually got lost a few times. They'd ended up in a village only a few hours' run away from Konoha and for a while Sakura had stood, confounded by the different signs and buildings surrounding her, with no clues to tell her where Sasuke had gone.

She'd eventually scanned for any chakra surges, and had felt the faintest flare of chakra in a seedy-looking hotel. Chances were, she was simply going to stumble upon a random ninja practicing ninja arts in their hotel room, and she may even end up skewered for barging in.

There! The chakra flared again, weakly this time. Sakura frowned. If this really was Sasuke, what was he doing?

"And you tell me my work goes too far… I think you're the sadistic one here…" A man said, his voice guttural and harsh. He chuckled.

Sakura skidded to a halt.

Naruto stared at her, blue eyes wide in astonishment.

A large, imposing man with blue skin and gills leered at her. He held a large, spiky sword aloft, the end of which now pointed in her direction.

Sakura looked past the shark-like man and saw his companion, who was holding Sasuke's arm. They were both clad in the same black cloak with red clouds, just like her sensei had worn the night before.

It was her sensei.

He was staring back at her, his mouth slightly open as though surprised, his blood-red eyes –

Blood-red…

Sharingan?

Her sensei let go of Sasuke's arm and he hit the ground, hard. Sakura flinched at the audible crack in his wrist.

"Itachi…" The shark man said, white eyes drifting from Sakura to her sensei and back. He took a step towards her, "Should I take care of this?"

The threat should have registered, but Sakura's mind was caught on the name the man called her sensei. Itachi. The same name Orochimaru had spoken, his pale mouth twisted in a grimace.

Was this a dream?

Her sensei flicked one look at the shark man. It was enough to make him step back and lower his sword.

"Sakura-chan, run!" Naruto yelled, his fists up as though he hoped to protect her.

"Hm… Sakura-chan…. you ought to be a smart little girl and do as the brat says…" The shark man said, his voice lilting with dark humour.

Her sensei straightened up, almost absently flicking away drops of blood that had collected at his fingertips. Sasuke's blood?

Sasuke lay on the ground, moaning, blood pouring from his mouth. Naruto was trembling violently.

"…Sensei." Sakura managed to say at last, feeling her mouth move but not hearing her own quavering voice. Her mind was numb. Her limbs felt curiously heavy, her fingers tingled almost painfully. Her knees were shaking, she realised slowly, her mind a blank fog.

She could see the pieces of the puzzle in her confused mind, but couldn't bring herself to put them together. Not when the answer would hurt so much.

The shark man froze.

Her sensei's mouth quirked upwards in what looked like a smirk to Sakura's blurry eyes. He slowly moved his dark hair out of his eyes, and stared at her so intensely she felt something jolt in her stomach. It was fear.

"No, Kisame." Her sensei said quietly, his mouth shaping every word perfectly, every move practised and elegant, "This is not a toy I am willing to share."

Sasuke twisted on the floor, managing to lift his head to stare at Sakura.

"What are you talking about? How do you know Sakura-chan?" Naruto shouted, glaring right at her sensei.

He spared the furious blonde a glance, "Sakura is my student." He answered carelessly, "I've been teaching her since she was six years old."

"What?" Naruto spluttered.

Sasuke's eyes bled into red.

"Your student? You get a little homesick, thought you'd pick up stray?" Kisame asked, his mouth opening to display several rows of needle-sharp teeth. It was not a friendly grin. It was a challenge.

Her sensei gave a languid shrug, "Hardly. I met a little girl six years ago, in Konoha. She seemed to care for my little brother. I thought if I trained her, she would live long enough to have a sizeable impact on my little brother. Then, if my brother ever showed his face to me whilst lacking hatred, weak, I would have a tool to break in front of him."

He looked down at the fallen Sasuke.

"It seems that day has come." He said, kicking at Sasuke's chin. His head rolled over to expose his neck, making him seem horribly vulnerable.

Kisame's grin became a little more vicious, "Oh boy, you are one sick bastard… I should take lessons from you." He laughed approvingly.

"Sa-Sakura-chan." Naruto stared at her, horrified.

Sakura closed her eyes, struggling to take it all in.

She began to put the pieces together.

Sharingan. Itachi. Sasuke knew him… a relative? He had to be, he had the Sharingan in both eyes, not like Kakashi-sensei… He reacted angrily when she asked him about Sasuke's family… He called Sasuke his little brother…

She opened her eyes.

"You were using me." She said calmly, feeling emotions seethe and boil inside her. There was too much to cope with. She could only seal away her feelings and deal with this mechanically, as though she was not involved in this situation, just a neutral stranger.

"Yes," Her sens – Itachi said smoothly, "I knew you would make yourself useful one day."

"Uchiha Itachi," Sakura said slowly, trying to piece it all together, "You did something. Something to Sasuke's family. To your family."

"A clever one." Kisame gave her an appraising look, "You keeping this one around?"

"Yes," Itachi replied, his eyes on Sakura, "I am Sasuke's brother. I killed our family, including our parents."

Sakura's knees gave way. Her elbow was caught in a tight grip. She looked up and saw that it was Kisame who had caught her. He gave her a disturbing grin.

"Sakura…" Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth. He clawed at the ground, trying to get up. Itachi casually slammed his foot into Sasuke's stomach. Kisame chuckled again.

Without realising it, Sakura lunged forward, her face enraged. The only thing stopping her from killing Itachi there and then was the fierce grip Kisame still had on Sakura's arm.

"Don't touch him." She snarled, trying to rip her arm out of Kisame's grip. It was no good. Fierce anger had leapt up in her stomach and was now taking over. She couldn't seal away the raging hatred that seeing Sasuke get hurt had summoned.

Itachi's eyes flickered with some unidentified emotion. He removed his foot slowly, his Sharingan spinning.

"You care that much for him…?" He said, tilting his head. His voice was curious but his glare said otherwise.

Sakura continued to struggle with Kisame in answer, desperate to get to Sasuke's side, not knowing what she'd do when she got there, only knowing she needed to save him somehow.

"Do you care for her?" Itachi looked down at his brother, who was writhing in pain, "I think you need another lesson in hatred, little brother."

He took a step towards Sakura. He was hindered by Sasuke's hand weakly grasping at his ankle, "Leave her alone," He said hoarsely, "Not Sakura too…"

Itachi gave the quietest of sighs and kicked Sasuke's hand away, ignoring the scream that ripped its way out of his throat.

"You son of a -!" Naruto yelled, lunging at Itachi. The older man dodged the blow effortlessly, and knocked Naruto down almost gently, carefully.

Kisame yanked Sakura in front of him and pushed her towards Itachi, a sick smile spreading across his face.

"I gave you a choice yesterday," Itachi said softly, coming to stand just in front of Sakura, his hand grasping her chin lightly, pulling her face up so her eyes met his, "Is your answer still the same?"

Sakura's eyes slid away from the achingly familiar face.

Her head was still so confused… her mind could not combine her sensei and this murderous, violent man. The only thing that made sense to her was the uncontrollable rage within her, so she clung to that.

"I won't go with you." She spat angrily.

The tiniest ripple of annoyance past over Itachi's face.

To Kisame's surprise, Sakura was ripped from his grip violently, and Itachi slammed her up against the wall.

"Then I will kill you here, and my brother will learn something about hatred." Itachi's eyes darkened.

Naruto tried to push himself to his feet, his face alarmed. Sasuke lay beside him, his eyes fixed on Sakura's face. She knew he must be reliving his worst nightmare now, first his brother killed his family and now he showed up to kill his friend?

Her sensei was going to kill her. Sakura couldn't stop the tears from falling and turned her head furiously, humiliated.

Itachi gripped her chin and very deliberately turned her face back to face him. His eyes swept over her tear-stained face.

He opened his mouth to say something and Sakura tried to slam her elbow into his stomach. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face the wall before she could blink.

"I hate you!" She snarled, "I hate you!"

She was shoved against the wall harder. She let out a cry of pain.

"No, don't!" Sakura heard Sasuke's desperate shout and turned to see Itachi holding a kunai up.

Kisame still hadn't stopped grinning.

Naruto was crying.

The kunai pressed against her spine painfully.

Sakura gave an involuntary fearful cry, and Sasuke closed his eyes, turning his face away.

"There is no point in trying to fight back," Itachi said, "I made sure you only knew genjutsu. Techniques that I can easily reverse. Did you not find that strange?"

He leant forward, placing his lips at her ear, "Give up. Come with me. I taught you everything you know."

Sakura somehow managed to give a mocking smirk, "You didn't teach me everything." She replied, before she exploded into thousands of petals.

Itachi's hand closed into a fist where he had been holding Sakura, and he looked at the crushed petals in his hand thoughtfully, "Kurenai-san…"

Kisame's twirled the sword in his grip, not even bothering to look, "The petals are a distraction, she's hiding round the corner."

The petals began to spin furiously. Itachi brushed the few on his palm off hastily.

"Ow!" Kisame cursed, slapping his hand at his cheek where a petal had brushed against it. The skin had been burnt and was beginning to bubble up.

The petals shot towards Itachi, who barely even glanced at them.

Sakura kept the hand seals up, gritting her teeth.

"That technique won't work in such close quarters," Itachi's cold voice said to her right.

She jumped in shock and hastily stepped back.

She had been so sure her petals were busy dissolving Itachi… a clone? Sakura looked up into her sensei's eyes. A very good clone.

Sakura was thrown back into the hallway carelessly, landing hard on her leg. She cried out.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted from the floor.

Sasuke began to shake with rage.

Itachi knelt down next to Sakura and made eye contact with her, "Watch carefully, Sasuke. You are about to see how the Sharingan is really meant to be used."

"No!" Sasuke yelled, suddenly infected with desperation, "No! No, don't use –"

The world went black.

A stabbing pain began in Sakura's stomach, she gave a choking scream and looked down. There was something sticking through her midriff, blood was –

"Sakura, listen to me." Itachi's voice said, low and urgent, right next to her ear, "You are not in pain. It is an illusion. I only wanted you to scream to show the others I was torturing you."

The various aches and pains in Sakura's body faded until all she felt was numb. She fell to the ground.

She was surrounded by nothingness, just black stretching all around her. The ground felt cold against her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. I should never have lied to you. I should have trusted you with –"

"Shut up." Sakura said, her voice dull and flat. She could not move, "I don't want to hear it."

Itachi fell silent.

Sakura felt tears slide down her face and wondered if they were even real.

"Fine. If you want me to be cruel, I will be cruel." Itachi whispered suddenly.

Pain seared on her upper shoulder. Sakura screamed again, trying to get away from the source of the burning heat.

The pain stopped, and she gingerly felt her shoulder to see if she was injured. There was nothing but the smallest mark. A little Uchiha insignia, burned into her skin.

"The mark is not real." Itachi said in her mind, "Only you will see it. Just a reminder of me, so you do not forget what I have taught you. I spent six years training you to keep you alive. Do not make those years of training a waste of time. I do not want to return to Konoha to find you dead out of some misplaced sense of justice. Use my techniques. They will keep you safe in my absence."

"Goodbye, Sakura." Itachi said, and she felt his lips press against her cheek.

Then the world came flooding back to her, and she was lying on the floor in a pool of her own vomit.

Naruto was shouting.

Sakura found she could not lift her head. She managed to lift her eyes up and saw a large man with white, spiky hair standing next to Naruto. He met her pain-filled gaze and gave her a look of immense sympathy.

"Uchiha Itachi," The man growled, "They are only children. That boy is your brother! You are a monster."

The hairs on the back of Sakura's neck rose when she heard his voice, so cold and matter-of-fact.

"I know." He said simply.

Sakura felt a rushing sensation and was unconscious even before her head hit the ground.

xxxxxxxx

The shower was hot, filling the room with steam. Sakura sat on the floor of the shower, her arms wrapped protectively around herself, shaking despite the intense heat.

She rubbed her cheek in revulsion, remembering the cold, illusory lips that had pressed against her face when she was trapped in that illusion.

She had been informed Sasuke had ran at Itachi when Sakura started screaming, too blind with rage to realise he was outmatched by several leagues. Itachi had merely switched his target to his little brother and put him under a painful illusion, one that had apparently broken his mind.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, her hands in her hair.

Jiraiya, the member of the Sannin, had shown up at the last minute and saved them all. Naruto had told Sakura that the only thing that had kept Kisame from grabbing Sakura's unconscious body had been Jiraiya's swift intervention. Kisame had called it 'a waste,' and clearly thought he was pleasing his partner by attempting to bring Sakura with them.

Itachi had looked at her once and simply shaken his head, Naruto mentioned.

Sakura opened her eyes and watched the blood from her wounds mix with the water, rushing down the plughole.

Her sensei was the infamous mass-murderer, Uchiha Itachi, the man that had killed his entire family in one night.

Sakura kept thinking back to the night before, shuddering at the thought of what would have happened if she had gone with him. He was apparently a member of a criminal organisation. Would he have taken her back there? Would she have been forced to join them?

Her sensei, a monster.

Sakura began to sob, not caring how loud she was being, not caring if her mother heard, just overcome with emotion.

He'd hugged her, kissed her on the forehead… he'd been like an older brother to her… her friend. She had seriously considered leaving her village for him. In her own way, she'd loved him.

The showerhead poured boiling hot water down onto her, turning her skin pink. The steam swirled around the room, painting the window with foggy condensation, until she could no longer see outside it.

She could hear the faint, rhythmic tapping of a crow's beak on the window.

She turned the shower up so that the water crashed to the stone floor, blocking off her hearing.

Outside the house, a crow sat on the window ledge and tried to peer through the steamy window. Raban gave a desolate caw and flew away.

Sakura rubbed her eyes and tried hard not to look at the burnt Uchiha logo on her arm, something that no one but herself seemed able to see. The water poured over it and blurred the insignia, unable to wash it away.


	10. Flashy Traps and Lonely Prayers

Tenten gave Sakura a rather curious look. The dark haired girl sat behind the counter, her chin resting on both hands. Her hair was tied back in her signature twin buns and she wore a short sleeved dark blue shirt.

Sakura gave a wordless nod in acknowledgment of the look, and ducked into the shop, trying to avoid the mess of decorations that were tied to the top of the doorframe.

"Sorry," Tenten said hastily, hopping up to untangle Sakura from a particularly stubborn streamer, "It's my dad, he thinks strangling potential customers will make them like us. Oh! Sorry! Did that hurt?" She asked nervously, smoothing down the bit of pink hair she had accidently yanked whilst unravelling the streamer, "It's really just because he wants to attract new customers."

"That's fine," Sakura gave a patient smile, shaking herself free of the decorations at last, "I always enjoy a quick strangling before I shop."

Tenten stepped back and gave a quick, professional smile, "What were you looking for?"

"Anything new," Sakura said absently, "I've found that the paper bombs are useful, but anything flashy blows my cover."

She could see Tenten mulling it over, "So, no swords or axes as usual, right? OK. Have you thought about traps? We have some new stock. Wire traps. You set them up and wait for your – oh, OK."

Sakura was already walking towards the trap section, "Good idea, Tenten-san. I'm no good at setting traps though… I may have to attend a few classes before I get the hang of them."

"I could teach you!" Tenten said, her grin dazzling at the potential sale, "I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to traps."

"You're a bit of an expert when it comes to any weapon." Sakura corrected, smiling. She bent down to examine the stock.

She picked up a metallic ball and frowned, "What does this do?"

"That? Squeeze the sides," Tenten demonstrated, "and put it on the ground. That primes it, you see? The next contact it gets will set it off. It's quite flashy, so you might not like it."

Sakura rolled the trap around in her hand, feeling the subtle protrusions where you had to squeeze it, "Flashy in what way?"

Tenten spread her hands out like a true salesman, still beaming her plastic smile in the hope that Sakura would actually buy something this time, "It's very cool. It sets off a bright flash of light and metal spikes go flying! I can't tell you how hard it is to practise with. I nearly killed a squirrel last time. Lee still hasn't forgiven me."

Sakura's smile slipped slightly. Behind Tenten's calm, collected exterior lurked a girl capable of out-chatting Ino when the right topic of conversation came up. She couldn't deal with girly chatter. Not today.

She picked up a few more traps and studied them.

"I'll take these, thank you." Sakura said, ignoring the joyful gleam in Tenten's eyes at making a sale, "I'm pretty sure I can stretch my concealment jutsu to cover the traps. I just need to practise a lot more."

Tenten took her money and started to bag the traps up for Sakura. She heaved a sigh, "I wish I was as good at genjutsu as you. It would sure come in handy with all the traps at my disposal." She waved at the large array of gleaming traps on the shelves.

"I'd love to be able to win a fight with a twig," Sakura retorted, grinning, "How did you do that, by the way?"

"He wasn't looking and I was kinda annoyed at the time. It went straight up his nose." Tenten said with a wistful look.

Sakura gave a snort of laughter and waved goodbye, backing out of the shop carefully to avoid the death-trap decorations on the door.

Tenten waved back absently, her smile fading. She didn't know Sakura that well, only what she'd gathered during Sakura's rather infrequent visits to Tenten's father's weapons shop, but she knew enough to be worried. Sakura had smiled far too much during that quick visit.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura felt the rain hit her the moment she stepped out of the shop and squinted balefully up at the sky.

A crow was circling just above her.

Without hesitation, Sakura closed the shop door behind her and flicked a kunai at the crow in one, smooth movement.

She aimed to miss, just to scare it off. The crow gave an indignant caw and shot off into the sky, leaving feathers drifting down to her.

Sakura snatched one out of the air and examined it, her face carefully blank.

"That was an awful lot of killing intent just for a crow." Kakashi said knowingly from behind her.

Sakura tensed and let the feather fly away on the wind.

She turned, sighing in irritation at being caught.

"I was just being careful." Sakura said slowly. She had to take care regulate her voice; she'd noticed that a few people thought her slightly creepy when they first heard her speak. It was the dull, lifeless way she spoke. She frequently attempted to inject enthusiasm into it, but merely ended up sounding fake.

"I heard he could summon crows. That wouldn't have anything to do with that, now would it?" Kakashi gestured upwards, to where the crow had settled in a tree.

_I heard he could summon crows._

Sakura remembered seeing a scroll with old, dried blood on it, brown smears on rough parchment. Black feathers emerging from the paper, a smooth dark head, powerful flapping wings, bright, intelligent eyes.

Yes, he could summon crows.

So could she.

But she would rather die than summon any of those treacherous, spying little  _sneaks_  again.

"Could he?" Sakura said flatly, "I wouldn't know."

Kakashi gave a disbelieving snort, implying  _who do you think you're kidding?_

Only herself.

"I don't want to talk about any of that today, Kakashi." Sakura said, shaking her head. She brushed her slick hair backwards, annoyed that it was going to get curly from the rain.

"Am I not your sensei?" Kakashi's visible eye narrowed.

Sakura froze, the verbal slip astonishing her.

"Ka-Kakashi-sensei." She stuttered, horrified at her mistake.

He looked at her for a long moment, "…do you still think of him as your sensei?" He asked, suspicion evident in his voice.

God, she was so tired of people being suspicious of her.

Her voice turned cold, despite her efforts to sound casual, "I don't think of  _him_  at all, Kakashi-sensei."

"Good," He said mildly, "because I'm your sensei, Sakura. I always have been and I always will be."

Sakura closed her eyes. He was too good to her. Any other sensei would have abandoned her. Not him.

She opened her eyes and gave him a genuine smile, "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

She pulled her bag up to her chest and peered up at the sky. Yes, it was still raining heavily and by look of the dark grey clouds spreading across the sky, it wasn't going to end any time soon.

"Go home, Sakura." Kakashi said suddenly, interrupting her thoughts.

She frowned, feeling cold water sliding down her neck from the rain.

"I know what day it is today. Just go home. You shouldn't do it to yourself again." Kakashi said shrewdly.

"No one else remembers the day, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said severely, "There is no one left in the village to remember  _them_."

"You don't owe them anything." Kakashi disagreed.

"Someone has to do something to honour their memory. I couldn't live with myself if I ignored the day."

"You do this every year, Sakura. I have to watch you go through this every year. Please, for my sake if not your own, stop." Kakashi said imploringly.

"I'm not doing anything awful to myself. It helps, in a way, to know I was not the only one fooled by him. I do it because I feel obligated to." Sakura started to walk off, ignoring her sensei's calls.

"Sakura, don't let him win." Kakashi said quietly, so quietly she almost didn't hear him.

Sakura gritted her teeth and carried on.

xxxxxxxx

She truly wasn't doing anything awful. Kakashi overreacted about everything.

Sakura sat on the floor of the abandoned Uchiha manor living room and spread the contents of her shopping bag onto the dusty carpet.

She carefully lit the candles and placed the lilies in their usual vase on the window sill, like she had done for the past four years.

In Sasuke's absence, she carried out the ritual she knew he used to perform himself.

She put both hands together and prayed that the Uchiha family were at peace.

It was the anniversary of their murder.

She knew she was crying, but ignored it.

How could she have been such a stupid little fool?

That man had killed so many people… just days before she'd first met him.

He was one of the most wanted missing nin in the Land of Fire, and she'd met him so many times. He'd casually walked around Konoha so many times. He'd talked about Sasuke, explained to her how the Sharingan worked, acted like the perfect sensei…

She had at least been suspicious of him. But she'd thought that he'd simply quit his job as a ninja and abandoned his village. She hadn't for one minute suspected he'd  _murdered his entire family_.

She should have reported him.

That was what every high-ranking ninja she'd spoken to had said.

She'd been thoroughly interrogated by the Anbu and in the brief period in between Hokages whilst the village was still mourning the Sandaime, she had been tortured.

Kakashi had been so angry to find out that the interrogation unit had tortured her without even informing him. Yamanaka Inoichi had given the order. Ino hadn't spoken to her father for months after that.

In a way, Sakura didn't blame him for choosing to have her tortured. The situation was beyond suspicious. She had admitted to being tutored by a mass-murderer for six years and despite having the option to kill her several times, including in that hallway four years ago, he never had.

The torture had been bad. But Sakura had had nothing to tell, so they'd had to stop eventually. They were experts, so they hadn't even left scars, something she was thankful for. Like she needed any other reason to be stared at in the street.

There had been talk of sealing away her jutsu forever, to prevent her becoming another mass-murderer or traitor.

Tsunade had forbidden it.

Sakura smiled at the thought of the woman who had become her true sensei.

In those dark days when even Naruto wouldn't look at her, she had met Tsunade, and the older woman had welcomed her as her student gladly, without suspicion.

Sakura might not have made it through those months if not for Tsunade and another woman.

She'd met Anko one day whilst sitting alone near the Forest of Death, lost in awful memories, crying her pathetic little eyes out.

The woman had stumbled across her by accident.

They'd talked for a while, Sakura explaining how the whole village hated her and didn't trust her, and how her own sensei had thrown her away like she was nothing and before she could even finish her tale; Anko had slung one arm around her and offered her some dango.

"Kid," Anko had said cheerfully, "We've got a lot in common. We've both had a dickhead for a sensei. Lemme give you some advice. Move past it. Get stronger without him. Take what he taught you and use it to help yourself. Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel right now. It's shit, I'm not gonna lie. It might get worse. This is when you'll find out who your real friends are. Keep 'em around, cause you'll need 'em. Don't push 'em away."

Sakura had listened attentively, needing to know that some people were worth trusting, had opinions worth listening to and didn't have an ulterior motive. There was no ulterior motive with Anko. She could tell that straight off. Anko had been telling the truth when she'd said they had loads in common, they got on well and Sakura often went to her for advice.

Tsunade had been pleased by their friendship, but Kakashi – already fragile from the revelation that his student had been secretly learning how to fight from  _Uchiha Itachi_  – had acted like Sakura had hurt him personally.

Sakura got up from her kneeling position and looked out of the grimy window. The Uchiha grounds were unkempt and wild, just the way she liked it. As morbid as it seemed, for a while this mansion had been the only safe haven for her.

Her mother had not reacted to the news of Sakura's 'betrayal' well, so home had no longer a place of safety and peace for her back then.

After Sasuke had left, she liked to come here because it gave her a feeling of connection with him, as silly as it sounded. The rooms were still haunted with the presence of the long-dead Uchiha, and it was almost comforting in a way. It was a nice feeling, at any rate. Though she felt watched, intensely studied, it was definitely a friendly kind of observation.

Sakura blew out the candles and wiped her face.

Kakashi had been referring to her yearly trek to the Uchiha mansion when he asked her to stop, but he'd also meant the brutal training regime she always put herself through this time of year.

Sleep? Who needs sleep?

She left the building after gathering her things and headed home. Her mother had eventually come around after Sakura begged her to listen to her side of the story, but had been so overcome with horror at the realisation that her little girl had been in danger that she had banned his name from being spoken in the house, which had suited Sakura just fine.

Sakura gripped the plastic bag tightly and looked up at the sky again. It had become habit to check the sky for crows whenever she walked, and more often than not she simply waved a concealment jutsu over herself whenever she spotted one.

It gave her an itchy, watched feeling to walk the streets whilst invisible, able to see every crow flying around, head turning this way and that way, obviously searching for something. Or someone.

xxxxxxxx

Itachi lay back in the dark room, feeling his eyes ache as he forced the Sharingan to recede. The fight that day had actually tested him, left him with bloody fingers and sore ribs. The target had been a local lord who had spoken up against the bandit activity in the area he lived in. Akatsuki had accepted a 'request' to take care of him on the bandit leader's behalf.

Unfortunately, it was a rare case in which Pain underestimated a target and only sent two members. Kisame had been in his element, as always, but Itachi had been suffering from a fever as they infiltrated the lord's mansion and fought off his many guards, so his defence had been sloppy.

He was finding it hard to switch off the Sharingan lately. Keeping it up for too long hurt more than forcing it to recede did, so in the brief periods in which Itachi was alone he savoured having his own eyes to see through without the jolting pain vision usually brought him.

He had also coughed up blood the other day, to his distaste and resignation. It had already started. Pain had sent for an esteemed medic who had been stumped by his condition. The medic had not survived the check-up, to Itachi's regret. He always despised pointless death.

He wanted to ensure his own death would not be pointless. He wanted to choose his own downfall, and his ideal choice was Sasuke.

His poor little brother. Anyone with access to good spies knew that Sasuke had killed Orochimaru himself, something that Itachi had been proud to hear, but couldn't help feeling it wasn't enough. Orochimaru had been weaker than Itachi. He feared Sasuke was just as weak, if he truly had spent the last four years being trained by the former Sannin.

Whenever he thought of Sasuke, he thought of that stone Uchiha insignia, cracked by the kunai he had hurled at it in a rare fit of anger. The last time he had seen his little brother, he had broken his mind. He had gone too far and had briefly worried he had permanently damaged Sasuke. He had been relieved to hear that Tsunade, the only female Sannin, had healed the damage.

He had not seen Sakura for four years as well, not since that fateful day when his deceit had come undone and she had reacted so, so badly. He had expected tears. He had not expected the sheer  _bloodlust_  that had radiated from the twelve year old girl, nor her refusal to listen to his excuses. Perhaps he had not known her at all.

He had stopped the Mangekyo jutsu just in time to have his little brother run at him, screaming in rage. Sakura had just flopped to the floor weakly, her face pale and twitching.

That day frequented his nightmares.

He still didn't know why Sakura had been there at all. By rights, she ought to have never been in that town, let alone that hallway. If she hadn't seen him there, he would never have had to hurt her as much as he did. She could have stayed blissfully ignorant of her sensei's true nature, and he could have continued to watch her grow into the shinobi he had wanted her to be, not the vicious killing machine he assumed she was.

He only knew she was still alive because whenever he had to look at the Akatsuki's reports on the kyuubi boy (never very detailed or indeed accurate), she was there, mentioned as his teammate. He knew absolutely nothing of her life. Raban refused to tell him what he saw whenever he visited her, and every other crow he sent could find no trace of her.

Sakura did not want to be found, it seemed.

A spy had obtained a rough copy of the hokage's own bingo book in the making (after stealing it from the scribe who was writing it) and to Itachi's horror, Sakura's name had been mentioned.

 _Haruno Sakura,_  the neat writing had stated,  _a known associate of the mass-murderer, Uchiha Itachi (for more information on Uchiha, see page 23). Exact association unknown. Subject described relationship as 'training.' There are fears that Haruno was being trained to take Uchiha's place in the criminal organisation, Akatsuki (see page 56-57). Current status:_ **under supervision.**

_Punishments include: torture of low degree, genin rank temporarily stripped, chuunin rank almost stripped. Current punishment:_ **Career level capped at chuunin.**

_Threat level:_ **Unknown, assumed low.**

Itachi had always known that associating with Sakura could be risky for her, but had never thought her own village would punish her for he'd found out she'd been  _tortured_ … well, had Pain suddenly requested he take out Konoha's interrogation squad, he would have done so gladly.

To hear that she could never be more than a chuunin had actually relieved him. She would be less at risk of dying on the battlefield as a chuunin.

The idea that he had trained a random girl from Konoha for six years so that she could one day take his place in Akatsuki was laughable. Genuinely humorous. It had been rumoured that Konoha knew nothing of Akatsuki or their motives, and this only confirmed it.

He had wanted nothing more than to see Sakura for four whole years. He thought about her and Sasuke most days, and considered both of them his own, personal failures. He had failed to protect Sasuke and he had failed to keep Sakura safe under his supervision. If he could have them both live with him he would do so immediately. He had hoped that they could both find happiness together one day, but the thought no longer satisfied him the way it used to. In fact, the thought of them together gave him a curiously restless, unhappy feeling.

Itachi sat up in bed and looked at his blood-stained fingers. He knew he should be cleaning them now, in fact, he ought to have cleaned them several hours ago, but he was so tired and cold that the thought of getting out of bed to pour icy water on his hand did not thrill him as it should do.

His head ached and the fever had left him sweaty and breathless. On days like this he remembered his mother wiping his forehead and trying to sing him to sleep, which never worked because, serious even as a child, he merely informed her that her being noisy wasn't exactly conducive to sleep.

He had remembered what day it was. It was the day he killed his own family in cold blood, and soon it would be the day he had first met Sakura, ten years ago. He wished… he wished so many things it was unhealthy. Sometimes he would lie back on his bed in the darkness of his room and pretend that the massacre had never happened, that his mother was cooking downstairs, his little brother had fallen asleep on the porch again and his father was not making secret plots of treason against Konoha.

He had once asked Sakura to choose him over her village. She showed the same amount of loyalty he had done when he was younger, and had refused him. He wondered if, given the choice, she would choose her village over her family. He suspected she would not.

"Itachi?" Kisame's hoarse voice cut through the wood of the door like a knife, making Itachi's head hurt even more.

"What is it?" He replied calmly, getting to his feet, not quite ready to open the door to see his partner. All that would happen would be Kisame would notice he was unwell again and force him to see a medic, like Pain had done. Itachi didn't need a medic to tell him what was wrong with him. He could feel it in the crackle in his lungs, the whistle of his breath.

"The Leader's been good enough to give us some time off. Few months, by the sound of it. They still ain't got a fix on the kyuubi brat's location and the Leader wants us out from under his feet. He did mention something about keeping a low profile, though. Can't imagine what he meant." Kisame sounded as though he was grinning.

Itachi felt his ribs gingerly. They hurt, but nothing that would stop him travelling.

He could finally go to see Sakura with his own eyes.

It was time.

 

 


	11. Quivering Bushes and Prettifying Brides

"I want to put in a request to be promoted." Sakura said stubbornly.

The Hokage, sat at her desk, placed her fingers in a steeple and peered at her apprentice. Her head was bent slightly so she was bathed in sunlight that poured through the window. Her eyes were hazel and shrewd, filled with the knowledge she had accumulated over the years, yet sparkling with feigned youth.

Her expression was unreadable.

"You want to be made jounin at sixteen years old?" Tsunade said, her head tilting slightly. Her fingers were covered in rings that sparkled in the sunlight. She looked regal.

"Hyuuga Neji was," Sakura pointed out, "And I'm fairly certain you became a jounin even younger than that."

Tsunade smirked, "Exceptional cases. Do you think yourself exceptional?"

"I'd say I have been taught in a wide range of areas by skilled ninja. Kurenai-sensei has told me she thinks I will one day surpass her. With respect, Tsunade-sama, I believe I could be a jounin. I've fought a few ninja that many would have run from. I wouldn't say I've lived these past four years," Sakura looked down at the floor, her eyes shadowed, "I'd say I survived. I think I proved my loyalty to this village and I want nothing more than to help defend it."

"A pretty speech," Tsunade observed, "With a hidden layer of resentment, I think. Being a jounin isn't just about being able to defend the village, though that is important. I think you just want to be able to walk around the village as proof that you are not a traitor."

Sakura bit her lip to stop her mouth twisting into a grimace, "Is that so terrible? If I'm appointed a jounin, like Anko, then the village will see you trust me."

"Anko worked for that trust," Tsunade extended a hand and gestured for Sakura to come closer, "Come here," Sakura obediently stood next to Tsunade, "Do you really want proof of your loyalty to Konoha?" Sakura nodded fervently. Tsunade smiled and poked Sakura's hitae-ate, right above the Konoha insignia etched in the metal, "There's your proof. If I thought you were a threat or a traitor, there is no way I would let you wear that. Anyone with half a brain knows that. So stop worrying."

Sakura sank beneath her disappointment. She had so hoped… she did consider herself exceptional! She was a genjutsu specialist at only sixteen, just like Kurenai had been, and with all the other things she had learned, she had just hoped…

She wanted to be a jounin so badly. The rest of the chuunin weren't like her. They were cheerful, inexperienced… content. Sakura burned with the need to prove herself. To prove her loyalty.

"Oh, and work on your chakra so more." Tsunade added with a cheeky wink, "You'll need huge reserves to support your specialties."

"Does that mean you'll teach me the Yin Seal?" Sakura said hopefully, pointing to the purple diamond on the Hokage's forehead, where she constantly gathered chakra.

"Not unless you want an early death." Tsunade grumbled, "And, Sakura…" She called as Sakura went to leave the room, "You need to stop thinking of yourself as different or as an outsider. You are no more special or less special than any other chuunin of your age."

Sakura gaped at the Hokage, astonished at the mild criticism, "Are you calling me big-headed?"

"Well, seeing as you just came into my office and demanded to be made a jounin aged sixteen, having completed only seven A-rank missions and no S-rank, I can only assume your ego is slightly inflated." Tsunade gave a careless shrug, her casual tone lessening the impact of her harsh words.

Sakura looked away from the soft gaze of her sensei, crossing her arms defensively. Her ego was not inflated! She only wanted recognition for the skills she had worked hard for.

"To tell the truth, Sakura, you have managed to keep a low profile as a chuunin so far… I looked through all of your mission reports, and whilst you reported no casualties amongst allies, you also never contributed to enemy deaths. Ever. In four years. You've got by in life by the skin of your teeth, using your genjutsu skills to trap enemies, but never finishing them off. What's going on here, Sakura? I'm being presented with a very mixed up girl here. On the one hand she appears proud and haughty, slightly cold and serious for her age and on the other hand, I have a ninja who has never killed." Tsunade said insightfully, her eyes suddenly piercing through Sakura like knives.

Sakura swallowed and rubbed her wrist nervously, "I have killed," She argued, "and the only reason I have a very low kill count is because that's not my job. I stand back and trap the enemies in genjutsu, and my own allies finish them off."

"Rubbish," Tsunade dismissed her weak argument immediately, "Kurenai traps her victims in illusions and then kills them. If what you are saying to me here is that all you do when I send you off on missions is stand back and leave it to your allies to fight, then we have a much bigger problem than your career level not satisfying your ego."

"I do not have an ego problem!" Sakura spat. Tsunade simply raised her eyebrows. Sakura realised her mistake and flushed, "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. I just… If my not killing ever jeopardises a mission or even costs an ally their life, then I could see why it would be a problem. If not then… please allow me to continue doing my job in the only way I can do it." Sakura gave a deep bow, hoping the Hokage would be kind enough to accept her request.

Tsunade closed her eyes.

"I'm sending you for counselling to overcome this fear of killing." She said finally after a long minute or two, "I don't know if it's your morals or something else, but I know what it's like to have difficulty in some areas of fighting." She smiled ruefully, looking at her own wrists and the faint scars from battle that covered them, "My fear of blood nearly stopped me fighting for good. If your no-killing policy is something you are willing to compromise on, then I see no reason why I should stop you from doing your job."

Sakura felt herself break out into a genuine smile for the first time in ages. Tsunade looked surprised.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Sakura said fervently, bowing once more.

"Now that the pleasantries are all finished, onto the real business," Tsunade said, her demeanour suddenly shifting from kindly Hokage to steely businesswoman in seconds, a gambler's greed twinkling in her eyes, "I've a fairly safe bet that I need you to take care of for me."

"…Tsunade-sama, I'm not going to count cards for you." Sakura said firmly.

"No! Of course not!" Tsunade laughed a little too loudly, "A businessman I know lives in near Suna. I promised him I could make his daughter look pretty for her Miai. I need your genjutsu skills to make her look stunning for when she meets her future husband."

"And how much has he bet you can't do this?" Sakura asked suspiciously.

"Enough to refurnish my office," Tsunade said, deadpan.

"I'm not going to cast a prettiness illusion on some girl," Sakura said, slightly outraged at the idea of utilising her skills for cosmetic use, "I can make her turn into his worst nightmare, if you like. Hellfire and everything."

"Sakura, this guy is pretty rich," Tsunade said soberly, "If this bet pays off, we'll do very well from it."

"So this is how the great shinobi village Konoha makes its fortune," Sakura said heavily, " _By ripping off husbands-to-be_."

"If he chooses to marry her because she's pretty than he deserves to be suckered into a marriage with her." Tsunade said pitilessly.

Sakura sighed dejectedly, "Fine, when should I leave?"

Tsunade looked innocently naïve, toying with a pen on her desk. "…Today?" She suggested finally.

Sakura groaned.

xxxxxxxx

The mission had been a piece of cake. Sakura had simply used a weak illusion that was easy to sustain for a long time to enhance the girl's already rather pretty features, making her eyes brighter, her hair shinier, her teeth whiter, etc. Luckily the girl revealed a rather wicked sense of humour that her husband-to-be appeared to share, so they hit it off and Sakura hoped the girl's fiancé would write off her suddenly much plainer features as love at first sight at work.

After running the whole way there, Sakura wanted to keep her strength up and decided to walk back instead of sprinting, since the sun was still up and Konoha was only a few miles away on foot. She was carrying a significant amount of money on her person, and she looked like a lone female – which many idiots would think screamed 'Easy prey!' – so she used genjutsu to make herself look like a carriage and a fair few guards on foot as a deterrent to any criminals lurking out there.

Unfortunately when she was only a mile away from Konoha she sensed about twenty men with weak chakra signatures hiding in the undergrowth around her.

They were either bird-watching en masse or they were hoping they could ambush her. Or, rather, ambush the carriage and guards she was disguised as.

Idiots.

But when Sakura was about to turn the carriage-illusion into a fire-breathing demon to chase away the fools, a rather strong chakra signature appeared as a heavily-built man dropped down from the trees in front of her.

"You morons, this isn't a carriage and a coupla guards, it's a girl." The man said angrily to the bushes, which quivered in response.

Hmm, a bandit who could see through illusions. A weak illusion, but an illusion nonetheless. Fun.

The man held up a hand wordlessly and his fellow bandits crawled out from the undergrowth, some of them staring suspiciously at what appeared to be a carriage to them.

"Now why don't you drop the little genjutsu so we can all see your pretty face?" The bandit leader said, smirking. A few of the bandits tried to grin to share the joke, but most looked worried their leader had gone mad and was hitting on a carriage.

Sakura released the genjutsu without a word or a movement.

The men actually jumped back in shock. She figured that the only ninja amongst them was the leader, and was hugely thankful for that. Twenty ninja might have delayed her at  _least_  fifteen minutes.

"Here's how this is gonna go, little girl, we paid a lotta money to keep this nice stretch o' land ours. A  _lot_  of money, if you catch my drift. I'm thinking a girl like you who goes to the trouble of putting genjutsu over herself when she takes a walk has got something of worth on her. We would like to take that off your hands." The leader pulled out an axe that had been strapped to his back.

Some of the bandits chuckled.

"Hmmm…" Sakura pretended to contemplate this with a thoughtful look at the man's weapon. Rusty and old. No bloodstains. Barely used. Interesting. He wasn't holding it right, either, all she had to do was get him off balance and he'd decapitate himself for her, "I don't know… The only things I've got on me are these…"

She pulled out four metal balls from her bag. The bandits looked confused.

"Metal ain't worth nothing to nobody, honey, you got anything flashy in that bag o' yours?" The bandit leader said, raising his eyebrows and letting his grip on the axe slip.

"Flashy?" Sakura looked at the traps in her hand and primed them all with a decisive twist, "Yes, I might have something flashy."

She placed them on the ground, very, very gently.

"Now," She said, looking around at them all, "Believe it or not, these traps could kill you all in seconds and since I'm a nice person, I don't want to do that. So here's how this is going to go. You are going to run away. I will continue on my walk. You get all that or do you need me to repeat it?"

The bandits burst out laughing, but the leader was looking at the traps warily.

"Gimme one good reason not to slice through that pretty neck of yours." The bandit leader said, growing annoyed, pointing the axe at her.

"OK," Sakura said obediently, taking another trap out of the bag and priming it. She threw it away, hard, so that it hit a tree.

It exploded into hundreds of metal spikes with a flash of light so bright that even Sakura cursed and had to look away.

"There's your reason." Sakura said, her mouth shaping into something that wasn't nearly nice enough to qualify as a smile.

The bandits all looked down at the four metal balls lying innocently in the grass between them and Sakura.

Sakura drew four kunai with a smile, holding them between her fingers. She made as if to throw them at the traps, and the bandits all leapt back, even the leader.

"Y-You wouldn't," The leader said hesitantly, "They'd get you too."

Sakura's smile grew, "You want to test that theory out?"

The leader scowled and shot off, sprinting away without a backwards glance.

The bandits seemed both put out and terrified at being abandoned and ran after their leader.

Sakura bent down and pressed the button that would deactivate the traps on each of them carefully.

She gave a self-deprecating chuckle. Any other ninja would have just killed them all without a second thought, even the ever lazy Shikamaru or the too kind Hinata, not set up a complicated little farce routine to save their lives.

Where are your priorities? Sakura thought to herself, hating the weak side of her that interfered with her career so much. Those bandits would go on and rob someone else, maybe even kill them, and it would be her fault.

Tsunade had known she hadn't killed in four years.

She hadn't killed anyone since her first kill, Dosu had lost his life beneath her shaking hands.

Her pacifistic nature might not have impeded her so much had she not been trying to make a career out of  _killing_. God, she was an idiot.

She hated that weak, idiotic side of her so much because she knew exactly where it had come from.

_Him._

The man who'd always anxiously asked her if she'd killed anyone since he last saw her. The man who described in great detail the horrors of war and how ninja had to kill children who'd been given kunai and shoved into battle. The man who'd sadly remarked on her violent nature the last time they'd met, ignoring the fact that his own little brother lay broken and bleeding on the floor by his own violence.

He obviously had been lying about being a pacifist. It must have been a lie to make her weak, so she'd get herself killed in a fight.

Sometimes she lay awake at night and burned with the knowledge that she had been so very  _stupid_. She'd thought herself a genius, the smartest girl in her year; she hadn't needed to cheat on the written test in the chunnin, she could recite the list of rules shinobi had to follow backwards and yet she'd been stupid enough to break so many rules it was a miracle she hadn't been declared a missing-nin and executed on the spot for treason.

She had actually climbed out of her window and gone to see a strange man who refused to tell her his name. She had met up with this man for many years and trained with him. She hadn't thought to report his appearance, or the fact that there was an unknown ninja on Konoha territory.

She wasn't smart at all.

The sky was darkening now. Sakura gathered up the traps and set off for Konoha, her feet feeling slightly sore from the long walk and the previous sprinting she had done to get to her mission.

She was pleased that Tsunade had trusted her enough to allow her to transport large quantities of Tsunade's money from near Suna to Konoha, but the heavy bag was really starting to annoy her.

She reached the village's gates as it turned dark, the sun slipping from the horizon.

The guards let her in without a second glance. Before, when she'd come back from missions with Team 7, they would chat with her and Kakashi – as Naruto would have already rushed off to the ramen restaurant and Sasuke was too cool to talk to mere mortals – and ask about her mission, but since her apparent betrayal they'd been rather cold to her.

She didn't let it bother her. She let their dislike roll off her like water off a duck's back, just like Anko had advised. Don't show it upsets you, act unaffected and eventually they'll see they can't get to you with whispered insults and accidental shoves. When she was twelve, she had cried upon having a jounin push her to the ground by 'mistake,' and had only been consoled when Kakashi had held a kunai to the man's groin until he apologised.

Nowadays it was her with the kunai and the apologies just flooded in.

She dropped off the money for Tsunade – reminding her that she was a  _bad person_  for gleefully pouncing upon her ill-gotten gains – and headed home.

The sky was dark blue and cloudy, so Konoha's lamps were lit and she had to pick her way through the streets by lamplight.

Sakura shivered in the cold, wishing she'd brought a coat and cursing the streets for being so poorly lit.

She was just turning into her own street where her house was when the crow cawed.

Her blood ran cold. She  _recognised_  that caw, she had heard it so many times, she had known that bird since she was six years old and newly acquainted with a murderer…

She turned around wildly, eyes searching through the gloom of the night, spinning around in the street to get a better look at each tree.

Her breath came out in clouds as her eyes erratically jumped from tree to tree, examining the dark sky as best as she could in the pitch black night.

The only sound was her panicked, ragged breathing.

_Raban._

It had to be him. It had to be.

Raban never flew far from that man, which meant he was –

" _Here_ , oh God," Sakura said almost hysterically, turning to face her house.

What if – what if he'd… her family…

She was running towards her home before she knew it, instinct making her fly towards the threat to her family, not knowing if she was scared or angry, just knowing some strong emotion was pumping adrenaline through her body and making her heart beat irregularly.

She wrenched open the front door after unlocking it – remembering as always to look behind her before she got the key out, having never quite forgotten the shock of having that man appear behind her suddenly – and rushed into the hallway.

"Mum?" She shouted, one hand in her hair, almost tearing it out in her awful fear of helplessness, of not wanting to be proved right, not wanting to push open the front door and find…

The living room was silent and empty.

Not knowing if that was good or bad, Sakura quickly checked the kitchen. No one.

She ran upstairs, fear propelling her upwards quickly.

Her mother's bedroom was empty. So was her grandmother's.

Sakura turned to her own bedroom, and saw that the door was hanging open though she never left it unlocked – she had too many traps in there she was afraid her mother would set off.

Traps she had carefully and methodically placed in order to stop that man coming in and to help her sleep easy at night.

Sakura stepped into her room.

Empty.

She was sweating.

"Mum?" She called out, quieter now, confused and frightened.

There was a creaking noise coming from her mother's bedroom.

Sakura nearly jumped and forced herself to remain calm. She walked back into her mother's room, hoping she wouldn't see the last person in the world she wanted to see.

Her mother was pulling back the blankets covering her, putting a foot out of her bed and standing up.

"Mum?" Sakura repeated again, not sure if the woman was real or that man had trapped her in an illusion, "But, I thought no one was in here…"

"You woke me up," Her mother said testily, rubbing her eyes, "I was in bed."

Didn't she check the bed? Sakura wondered. She thought she had…

"Was there anything wrong?" Her mother asked, yawning.

Sakura hesitated. She would love to confide in her mother, but if this really was her, any mention of the possibility that that man was in their house would just freak her out. If he wasn't there, which it looked like it wasn't, she didn't want to upset her mother for no reason. Still, she wanted to keep her safe…

"Nothing," Sakura smiled reassuringly, "Go back to sleep."

Sakura had casually suggested that she would just check that her mother's bedroom window was locked, and had subtly placed a trap that would shriek an alarm should anyone touch it on the windowsill.

Then she had persuaded her mother to go back to sleep.

Sakura closed her mother's bedroom door behind her, and slid down to sit on the floor outside her room. Apparently her grandmother had gone to visit a friend who lived nearby, and was stopping the night, which was why her bedroom was empty, to Sakura's relief.

Sakura's head rested against the bedroom door and she played with a kunai in one hand, eyes fixed on the stairs, assuming that that man would have the audacity to enter the house through the front door. He'd always been an overconfident bastard, with good reason, of course.

Lack of sleep and slight chakra deprivation was pulling her towards an involuntary power nap, despite her desire to protect her mother.

She was asleep before she could register the red eyes staring into her own, the tomoes spinning soporifically.


	12. Breaking Facades and Twisted Embraces

Her head ached and there was a sour taste in her mouth. She blinked drowsily and stood, noting that she was in a forest, her feet disturbing leaves on the ground as she stumbled about drunkenly.

The sky was still dark and strewn with stars, so she knew it was night time.

She was in a large clearing in the Nara Forest. It all looked vaguely familiar to her, the far-apart trees, the bushes…

She felt something warm brush against her back, a chin touching her shoulder lightly.

 _His_  voice, deep and smooth like before, whispering into her ear, "It is good to finally see you again, Sakura."

Sakura felt her body stiffen almost painfully, there was a burning sensation in her stomach, her hatred boiling and seething inside her and she clenched her jaw to keep the anger bursting out of her mouth in the form of poisonous words.  _I hate you so much_ , she thought viciously.

Itachi was still waiting for her to turn around.

She could feel his body at her back like he was giving off heat, a fiery presence that seared her skin and melted any confidence or courage she had left within her.

Suddenly she was twelve years old, young and stupid again.

Her sandals crunched on the grass as she very slowly turned around, her face left emotionless from the stress of suppressing her rage.

He looked exactly the same as he had as her kind, pacifist sensei. Except the addition of the two blood-red eyes, the eyes that had first let her know he was lying psychopath.

Those hated eyes swept over her slowly, drinking in her changed appearance carefully as though memorising her new self.

"Get the  _fuck_  away from me." Sakura said heatedly, her eyes flashing.

Itachi took a step back.

She wanted to scratch his eyes out… she wanted to rip him apart, limb by limb, tear out his throat and spit on his corpse…

This was the one person she would break her no-killing rule for.

"You've grown." Was all Itachi said in reply to her coarse words, his tone oddly proud.

"No thanks to you," Sakura said bitingly, "If you'd had your way you would have killed me at twelve."

"No," Itachi said, his usually calm voice breaking into something else, something emotional and pain-filled, "I would never kill you."

"Oh really? How…  _nice_ ," Sakura spat, "How  _sweet_. I feel so  _special_. It's a shame I don't share the sentiment. If I could kill you now I'd do it in a heartbeat."

His expression looked so  _hurt_  and  _raw_  and if he didn't stop acting like he cared Sakura was going to rip the floor from under them and bury them both, anything to stop him acting like he gave a damn…

"So Konoha finally got to you." He said, his tone resigned, "You've become the killer they always wanted you to be."

"The only people I kill are the people who deserve it, so don't look down on me for doing my job and killing criminals when you killed your whole family you  _fucking hypocrite!"_ Sakura said, her voice rising to a scream on the last two words.

Itachi moved too quickly for her eyes to even register the movement and his hand was around her mouth and he was twisting her arms around her back effortlessly with one hand.

"Please," He said quietly, murmuring into her ear, "Stop swearing at me. I may get angry."

Sakura was seized with irrepressible rage and humiliation and  _ripped_  herself from his grip with her chakra-enhanced strength, managing to startle a gasp from him.

" _Fuck_ ," Sakura said loudly and clearly, emphasising the word for his benefit, "You."

And she threw her fist down at the ground, shattering the earth into ragged clumps. She somersaulted away from the wreckage and landed neatly far away from the crater.

Itachi had managed to escape being crushed beneath her fist at a hair's breadth; she could see his outright stunned face from across the crater, smoke rising between the two of them.

Sakura stood up straight, her head held high, her face grim now with the knowledge that there was no escaping this fight and it would end in death, "Guess what?" She said coldly, "I found a better teacher than you. And she knows she's strong without having to kill her entire family to test her strength. Doesn't that make her better than you?"

"I'm glad you found a good sensei." Itachi said, impossibly calm, not a hair out of place, his voice so kind and forgiving that it made her want to  _puke_.

"So am I." Sakura said, and flew at him.

He met her kunai with one of his own that he had drawn so quickly she hadn't even seen him move, and took about an eighth of her strength in that one blow. His kunai slipped slightly, and his feet moved backwards.

He actually smirked, "Amazing. You are one of two people who can utilise their chakra in this way. I could never have taught you this."

Sakura gave a harsh laugh, "Oh, I know that. Do you remember how you mocked me for only knowing genjutsu? How good is your Sharingan these days? I bet you can see through  _any_  genjutsu." Her tone was odd, a mixture of scorn and hatred.

She let go of her kunai and, as the momentum moved Itachi backwards, she swiped a foot at the ground so that the dirt would fly up and strike his face. Or, more accurately, his eyes.

He didn't let go of his kunai, but delicately wiped at his eyes.

"Tsunade-sama taught me something else." Sakura said coldly, and her hand began to glow blue.

Itachi was too quick for her, he leapt backwards before she could swipe at his eyes (her plan having been to sever his optic nerves) and he even avoided the traps she had thrown behind him when she kicked the dirt.

All whilst completely blind.

He really was good.

Sakura gritted her teeth.

"Dodge this," Sakura said loudly and created the illusion of the earth beneath them cracking beneath her fist.

Itachi, hand still clasped against his pained eyes, listened carefully. She saw him move slightly to the left as his mind fooled him that the earth was cracking, but his head tilted to the right. Sakura obligingly added an undercurrent of feet slapping against the earth behind him.

He whirled around, kunai out.

Sakura saw her chance and dove towards him from behind.

Her own blade sliced through the air as he, blind, dodged, grabbing her wrist and throwing her into the traps she had laid for him.

Sakura turned the fall into a roll, neatly managing to avoid the spike traps, still half in shock that he had managed to dodge that.

"I suppose in some lights, that scheme may have been considered clever." Itachi said from behind her, wiping his face with his sleeve, his eyes left red from the dirt, "But I doubt it."

Sakura got to her feet, face red with anger, "I guess you're going to kill me today. In a way, it'll be a relief. I'll finally be able to stop worrying that you'll come after me, because it's already happened. Maybe Konoha will see me for who I am, just like they did with you. How does it feel, knowing that everyone who ever cared about you is dead by your own hand? Tell me. Cause I know I could never do that."

"Not everyone who ever cared about me," Itachi said, his voice low, "You are still alive, and you loved me."

At those words, Sakura coughed and rubbed her nose, shaking her head, laughing, "No," She said quietly, "No. That's a lie. Is that what you thought? You thought I…? Towards you…? No. That's a fucking lie. It is. Stop looking at me like that, like you're so damn  _sorry_. You aren't sorry. You… you're just mocking me again, pretending to care even after you did all that… No. No, I didn't love you. I hate you."

"Sakura, I really am sorry it had to come to this." Itachi said sincerely.

"Come to this?" Sakura pretended to not understand, "But it was you who started all this. You killed your family. You taught me for six years, never telling me who you were. You only taught me so that you could kill me in front of Sasuke. When that didn't work, you came to tie up a loose end. So, that's it. The end. You'll kill me, and Konoha will probably assume I was betraying them 'again,' so I won't even be buried," She said, nearly crying now, shivering in the dark field in the middle of nowhere, with the man from her nightmares standing opposite her, just staring at her, "My mum will think I'm a criminal. My only friend will think she misjudged me. My sensei, my  _real sensei_ , they'll… they'll think…"

Sakura, to her shame and humiliation, had begun to sob, "Everyone will remember me as a traitor. I would die for that village, and they won't even give me a grave."

Itachi lifted a hand as though to comfort her. It was that what jolted her from her breakdown.

"Don't come near me." She whispered, her voice murderous. She wiped her eyes.

"Well, if that's how it has to be, then fine. I'll do it. They'll hate me. You'll get away with it, because no one will avenge me. Not even Sasuke." She said, obviously trying to keep herself from sounding completely heartbroken. She failed.

"You seem so certain that I'll kill you." Itachi said softly.

"You would have killed me four years ago in that hallway," Sakura said, "Why not now? Why not today?"

"You don't seem afraid for someone so sure their death is near."

At that, Sakura laughed, a real, genuine laugh for the first time. It was wild and dangerous.

"I'm not afraid. I've been waiting for this day for four years. I've dreamt about it. You see, I know I'm not strong enough to kill you. But, that won't stop me from really, really hurting you before I die, and the knowledge that you suffered even a flicker of pain because of me will send me to the traitor's bonfire happy." Sakura said with a wicked smile.

"I've missed you." Itachi said gently, "I thought about you every day. I hoped you were doing well. I hoped you'd quit being a ninja and that you were happy. I hoped you were still the same kind, generous girl I used to know."

"Well, people can turn out to be exactly the opposite of what they pretended to be," Sakura said savagely, "Hurts, doesn't it? What's it like, knowing your whole village despises you? They used to love you. They thought you were a genius, and so dedicated to them. Now they know who you really are, and they  _despise you_. And your own little brother! Well, I'm certain he'll be the one to kill you in the end. Then you will know what it's like, having your own family kill you. I hope it hurts you."

"You hate me." Itachi marvelled, "You truly hate me. Sakura, you need to know the truth."

"I don't want to hear it." Sakura retorted, her green eyes flashing in anger. He was going to make up some excuse? What for? Just so he could get her on his side again?

"I suppose I can't tell you anyway." Itachi said, looking deeply saddened, "I wish I could. I never wanted to hurt you, Sakura. I hope one day you'll find out why I did what I did, and I hope you forgive me. I hope you can move on from this."

"I just wanted to say," Sakura said, looking at Itachi steadily, "You ruined my life."

Strangely, her words seemed to deflate Itachi, he slumped, his eyes on the ground. Then a change came over him and he looked up. He was smirking.

"Believe what you want. Think of me as a bad person. If you want me to be play the villain in your life, I will." He said, his thickly-lashed eyes narrowed and focused on her face.

Without a word, Sakura made a series of lightning quick hand seals and disappeared, her trademark concealment jutsu at work.

Itachi copied the seals, raising his eyebrow.

"Do you really think I can't see through that?" He said, a little disappointed that this was all she had to offer.

Sakura, faintly visible to his eyes thanks to his weakening Sharingan, made another series of hand seals and split into three.

Kage bunshin. Difficult to see kage bunshin. With exactly the same amount of chakra within them, making them identical. It didn't matter, though. At the level Sakura was at he could take out an entire army of her.

And then the clones exploded into petals.

Petals that were, incidentally, too small, too faint and too fast for Itachi to see.

There was a soft touch at Itachi's cheek, so soft and so like an embrace that his reflexes didn't kick in quick enough, and he hissed in pain as his cheek was burnt by the petal.

He jumped backwards and used the jutsu she had just so unwittingly shown him.

He disappeared.

There was a sharp breeze as the invisible petals spread around quickly, obviously searching for him. If they touched him, Sakura would know where he was.

He smirked, forming a few more seals.

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"

Fire emerged from his mouth, devouring the petals in his path. The fire blazed all around him, protecting him from the rest of the petals.

A rapidly growing shadow fell over him. Without even bothering to look up, he moved so fast it was as though he had teleported, just in time to avoid Sakura's outstretched leg smashing into him.

The ground caved in once more.

Of course. The petals, the clones, the invisibility, they had all simply been there to distract him. He was too quick for her though. Should he have been any slower, however, this fight would have been very different, the odds may have shifted in her favour.

"Concealment jutsu, fire jutsu, constant use of the Sharingan, you really must be running out of chakra by now." Sakura mocked him, emerging from the crater she had made.

Itachi was surprised, though he didn't show it. It was true he was running low on chakra, but he had such perfect chakra control that he never wasted any of it, and had never been caught short before.

"What makes you say that?" He asked, discreetly measuring the distance between them. She could get to him in about thirty seconds; he could get to her in about ten if he wanted to take his time.

"When I was twelve, the Interrogation Squad made me read all of their files about you, one, to teach me about who you really were, two, to see if I knew anything about you that contradicted with their information. I know everything that they do about your abilities. You have very low chakra reserves. I wonder if that sleep inducing technique you used on me took a lot out of you?"

Itachi nearly laughed. He should have known Sakura, ever the diligent student, would have studied him.

"You wanted to 'hurt' me before I killed you." Itachi said, his smirk widening with the ease of years of practicing to play the murderous, evil bastard he was supposed to be. He had slipped so comfortably into the role of Uchiha Itachi, infamous murderer, that he wasn't quite sure where Itachi the murderer ended and 'he,' the real Itachi, began, "How do you plan to accomplish that?"

Sakura glared at him, her mouth screwed up to stop her shouting something, her eyes narrowed and angry. How she had changed over the years…

"I was hoping blood would be involved," Sakura said, her voice harsh, "Preferably yours."

She drew a kunai. Itachi watched as her face smoothed into a blank expression. She held the weapon aloft, a wordless challenge.

Itachi met it with a kick to the chest.

Sakura went flying, the kunai lost in the grass, skidding and rolling to a halt, skin scraped raw and bleeding.

She pushed herself up without hesitation, ignoring the fact that she was obviously out of weapons and ideas, wiping the blood off her cheek and spitting.

Her wrists nearly cracked as Itachi seized them in a tight grip, pulling Sakura close to him. She gasped outright, having blinked and missed his movement – he simply appeared suddenly in front of her.

A pained groan escaped Itachi's lips when Sakura truly surprised him, head-butting him without hesitation, their skulls colliding painfully. He blinked, dazed. The whole move was stupid and instinctive, proving Sakura was getting desperate, for all her bravado about not caring if she died.

"Why don't you just give up?" Itachi said, his smirk growing cruel, watching Sakura's captured fists glow blue with chakra as she struggled to break his grip, still refusing to give in to him even as he pulled her yet closer, her head brushing his chest, "I could be your beloved sensei again. You wouldn't have to go back to that place. They do not trust you. They wish you would just disappear. Why don't you come with me?"

If she had disliked him merely standing close to her, having him now pulled flush against her body, whispering temptations into her ear, was enough to make her scream.

She turned her head away, the only defiance she could show with such little space to manoeuvre. She tried to force her shaking, chakra-laden fists into his chest, once touch and surely he'd go flying… But he kept a tight hold on both wrists.

"How many times do I have to tell you,  _no_!" Sakura shouted, right in his face, "Konoha is my home and unlike you, I'd never betray it."

But Itachi had been struck by a new revelation, not that Sakura was far more determined than he ever would have given her credit for, or how it hurt more than he thought it would when she refused his offer again, but that, pulled up close to Sakura like this had caused him notice something about her.

She had grown…  _pretty_. Her eyes – when not narrowed furiously, or filled with tears – were a soft, gentle green, large and framed by dark eyelashes. Her skin was soft and pale, her mouth…

No.

Itachi mentally shook himself, trying to re-establish barriers, Sakura was his student, no, his ex-student, and clearly no longer a child, but still…

She  _hated_  him.

Her face was screwed up in abject fury, her discomfort obvious by the way she was clawing at his chest in vain, so close to tears yet holding them back in a last defiance against him, the evil, murderous ex-sensei that was hurting her yet  _again_  with no reason.

He pushed her away hastily, shocked at himself. What had gotten into him? He'd simply held her to him for a long minute or two, ignoring her frantic attempts to get away, perversely noting how beautiful she had become…

This was something she would have expected him to do, he imagined, humiliate and frighten her. But it was not something he'd ever want to do.

It was something Itachi the mass-murderer would do, not… him. Not the real him. When had it become so difficult to separate himself from his loyalties, Akatsuki and Konoha?

But it had been so long since he had seen her and she had changed so drastically… she was so, so angry and hurt, deep to the core. The gentle, loving girl he had known was gone and he was the reason for it. He had destroyed her innocent, happy nature and replaced it with a harder, rougher version.

Sakura was on the ground again, humiliated, elbows digging in the dirt as she warily tried to push herself up again, afraid Itachi would simply grab her once more. Her wounds stung viciously and if she miraculously survived this, she was going to have to clean them thoroughly and disinfect them; she might need some ban –

Itachi was walking towards her again.

She nearly fell over again in her eagerness to get away, stumbling backwards as he approached.

He stopped before her, face serious, all traces of the smirking, cruel man she hated so much gone.

He held a kunai.

Her heart skipped a beat, she was shaking all over and suddenly sweating, this was it, she thought numbly, this was the end.

He threw the kunai at the floor between them, hard, where it sank into the dirt.

Sakura had flinched when he threw the kunai, but now she felt bewildered. What was he doing?

"Take the kunai." Itachi instructed, in that horribly familiar teacher voice of his.

Sakura didn't move, eyeing him suspiciously.

He sighed.

"Take it." He urged her, "Before I get angry."

She was obviously fighting her pride, a spasm of anger passing over her face, before she swallowed it down and crawled over to the kunai, reasoning that if it was a trap, at least she'd be armed.

But it wasn't a trap; Itachi didn't make a move as she pulled the kunai out of the ground and held it to her chest defensively.

Itachi pointed to his neck, "Do you remember what we did before? To prove I trusted you, I let you hold a kunai to my neck. I still trust you, Sakura."

Sakura, fighting her fear, charged over to him, a look of determination fixed on her face.

"Don't play the innocent sensei with me again," She said, placing the blade against his neck, "I told you I wanted to hurt you and now you let me do this? You forget, I saw you for who you really were in that hallway. I won't fall for the same trick twice."

"No trick," Itachi said calmly, every word he spoke caused the kunai to trace patterns on his throat lightly. She hadn't drawn blood. She wasn't even pressing it to the skin, simply holding it there loosely, "If you want to hurt me, then hurt me. It is the least I deserve."

Sakura stared at him, her gaze boring through his head, kunai menacingly drawing against his neck. The gesture lacked weight, however, because she was holding the kunai so carefully, so gently… She didn't know what was making her hesitate, was it the old, deeply-buried memory of what it had been like to kill Dosu? Or was it simply because while she knew, logically, that this man was a monster, he was a monster who wore her old, much-loved sensei's face, and she couldn't hurt her precious sensei?

Her sensei was Tsunade. Kakashi, Anko… they were the people who had taught her the most important lessons she ever learned. Where was Itachi when she needed him?

Tsunade had told her that to be a ninja, she had to learn how to cope with killing. Who better to practice killing on than Itachi?

Itachi read the indecision mingled with anger in Sakura's eyes and feared she wouldn't do it. He deserved this; he deserved whatever pain she could cause him, because he had hurt her so much more than she could ever repay him for.

Sakura was struck then with the image of Sasuke. What would he think if he saw his brother offering his neck as a show of submission to her?

For the four years of loneliness, isolation and pain, Sakura gritted her teeth and tightened her grip on the kunai.

She yanked the blade sharply across Itachi's neck and shoved him with a fist she had been secretly gathering chakra in ever since he had released her wrists.

Blood gushed from the wound, staining her hands.

Itachi fell back beneath the weight of her shove.

Sakura dropped the kunai and fell to her knees beside him.

"You can use all the pretty words you like," Sakura said slowly, repeating the words Anko had told her, "You can try to shape me in your image and you can hurt me as much as you want, because you got me when I was young and stupid. But I'm not young and I'm not stupid anymore. I'm not your student. You have nothing to do with me. You are  _dead_  to me."

Itachi's eyes fluttered shut, his mouth stained red.

Sakura paused as she was about to run, her feet glued to the floor. She wanted nothing more than to run, get away, go home, but the pained wheezes he was making were getting under her skin.

It hit her that the wound she had given him was potentially life-threatening and Itachi wasn't doing a thing to save himself, not even putting pressure on the wound.

"Don't you see?" She said, near hysterical, "I  _have_  to do this. I hate you. I really do. You  _betrayed_ me. I… I have to leave you."

Still, Itachi's eyes did not open, and his face grew paler.

_I don't kill._

Sakura remembered what she had promised herself so many years ago when she was so afraid of becoming her sensei, of developing a taste for murder…

The only escape from that ever present fear had been to swear that she would never kill again.

She swore under her breath and dropped to her knees again, hands settling on the gaping wound in his neck.

What am I  _doing_? She thought, panicked.

Her hands glowed green and washed over his neck, spreading in circles over the skin, watching it knit itself back together.

"I'm doing this," She muttered, watching his pulse beat in his neck, his chest rising and falling, "Because unlike you, I am not a killer. This proves the difference between you and me. But, if you ever come near me again, I'll break my rule."

Itachi's eyes opened slightly to slits and he watched her walk away from him, leaving him weak from blood loss, lying on the leaf-covered floor of the Nara Forest.


	13. Hiding Bruises and Borrowed Overcoats

The window ledge slid open as smoothly as it used to in her youth, when she used to go visit Itachi after receiving the crow's call, and she entered her room silently.

It was still dark outside when she clambered into her bedroom, feet landing softly on the carpet, as quiet as a cat. Her bedroom looked comforting and normal, unchanged despite the horrible events of the past few hours. She nearly collapsed on her bed in relief, grabbing her pillow and burying her face into it, curling up into a ball and just willing the pain to go away.

It was moments like this that she wished she hadn't thrown everything remotely childish out of her room in a fit of pique, taking out her anger on her room, smashing up furniture, breaking her mirror and all of the toys she'd ever owned. Her mother had silently taken her to buy more furniture the next day, making it clear that while she understood why Sakura had destroyed her room, she was still going to make her pay for the replacement furniture.

She desperately wished she still had some soft toys to hug and cry into, a child's response to pain and danger, burying your hurt in the things you took comfort in.

She'd left him there, lying in the forest, his neck covered in his own blood, face chalk-white, eyes gleaming from the light of the moon. Her feet had crunched over the leaves; the bare skin of arms stinging as she roughly pushed past trees and bushes, focusing on nothing but the target, her house. She had been thinking only of leaving him behind, putting more distance between them. The quicker she left, the more faint the memory.

She dragged herself to the bathroom after checking on her still-sleeping mother, one of her ankles twisted, her body just one mass of pain.

The bathroom was colder than the hallway, leaving Sakura's skin chilled as she sat on the bath's edge. She turned the hot tap on slowly, not wanting to wake her mother. The tub began to fill with water, the steam rising to fill the room, warming her exposed skin. She pulled her muddy clothes off one by one, a slow, difficult task hampered by her exhaustion and pain. She slipped off her sandals and climbed out of her shredded outfit carefully.

She turned off the tap and got into the tub, hissing at the shock of the hot water touching her cold skin. She slumped back, head lolling, arms limp. She felt as though she hadn't slept in a year. Her eyes shut against her will, water splashing as she sank down, only her head above water.

Her wet fingers brushed against her face, searching for wounds that would arouse suspicion. A bruise on her forehead, where she had head-butted Itachi, vanished as she healed it. Running out of chakra, she only had enough to wipe away a cut on her cheek and a few scrapes on her neck. She pulled her leg up and grasped her ankle, feeling for damage. It was only slightly twisted. She could heal it after she got some rest.

She was too tired even to cry. Her whole body ached and she burned with the shame of what she had done, the treason she had committed. She had managed to cut the throat of Uchiha Itachi, mass-murderer and missing-nin, and what did she do? She saved his life. She healed him. The man who had taken her life in his hands, controlled her, shaped her to be something like him, and then broke her. The man who was the reason…

The reason that Sasuke had left.

Sakura held a dripping hand up to her eyes to keep from crying.

She tried so hard not to think about it.

After Itachi had revealed what he had done to Sakura, after she and Sasuke had recovered from the mini-comas they'd been forced into, Sasuke had grown distant and cold. Whenever she tried to speak with him, to beg his forgiveness, to explain she hadn't  _known_  who Itachi was, he'd snap at her or just stare at her, silently accusing. It was that suspicion on his part that killed Sakura. To think the boy she'd admired so much could think she would betray him… It was unbearable.

The bathwater was quickly becoming dirty from the mud and blood Sakura had been caked in.

But at least no one could call her a murderer. Whilst Dosu had been in self-defence (she tried hard to forget that he had been down, bleeding, in pain, unable to defend himself…), she could reassure herself that if she had allowed Itachi to die, she would have been as evil as he was. Itachi had bared his throat willingly, possibly testing her, which meant she wasn't in danger at the time she struck.

She had watched those blood-red eyes close as he sank to the ground, had seen the pain he was in, had wanted to take away his suffering, to save him. It was simply because she was a nurse. Any other nurse would have done the same. There was something about being expected to kill as a kunoichi yet save as a nurse that made Sakura's relationship with death so very different from the other, more cavalier ninja. She knew what it felt like to take and to give life, and she knew which one she preferred.

But Itachi was a murderer. There could be no questioning that he would go on to kill people, possibly innocent defenceless people. She would be just as guilty as him. Could she really justify saving one man's life at the expense of so many others?

There was a knock on the door and Sakura jumped violently, splashing water out of the tub.

"Sakura?" Her mother said, her voice muffled, "Are you alright?"

Sakura turned on her side to peer at the door, "I'm fine! Just having a bath, I got too hot in bed."

There was a pause while her mother took this in, "Fine, but go back to bed soon, you need to sleep more, OK?"

"OK!" Sakura called back.

There were a few scratchy sounds as her mother walked off, her slippers scuffing against the carpet.

Sakura sighed. How could she have explained her battered state, or her torn clothes?

She despised lying to her mother. The woman always faithfully believed her, even after the entire village accused her of treason. Sakura felt awful whenever she lied to her, knowing she didn't deserve the deceit.

She got out of the bath abruptly, drying herself off with a towel, wincing at the rough material scraping her wounds. Her chakra had slightly replenished after the long soak, so she managed to fix her ankle enough so that she wouldn't limp.

What stung the most was the knowledge that Itachi hadn't once attempted to kill her. She'd been fighting with everything she had, and he hadn't even broken a sweat. The only time she'd managed to hurt him was when he  _willingly allowed her to_. Her pride made it difficult to accept that she could not have even scratched the older man unless he wanted her to.

She could not even begin to understand his motives. Unlike that awful day in that hotel, he'd shown concern for her, and hadn't once tried to seriously injure or kill her. But he'd suddenly turned cold and mocking for a while, before switching to concerned and remorseful again. It was like watching an actor slip up and reveal his true self. She believed that his true self, buried deep beneath the false caring and good manners, was a psychopath. That scared her more than anything else, that such an evil man had hidden behind his caring 'sensei' persona, and she had fallen for it.

The fact that she was still alive meant he wanted something from her. Could he want her as an ally? No, she dismissed that train of thought instantly, he wouldn't give her that much credit. She wasn't an equal with him. Come to think of it, as a child, he'd always patted her on the head, praised her and scolded her, treated her more of a pet than a student. Perhaps he missed having someone to control or to kick around.

She put on some pyjamas and lay down in bed, feeling safe and clean for the first time that night. The covers were warm, and she let her eyes flutter close as sleep overcame her. She was asleep just as dawn began to rise.

xxxxxxxx

She was awoken by a pounding on the door. She jolted up in her bed, instantly cursing at the pain the sudden movement caused.

She waited hopefully to hear her mother answer the door. No such luck, the pounding continued. Sakura groaned and hauled herself out of bed, stubbornly ignoring the bloodstains on the bed sheets she'd have to hide later on.

The knocking only increased as she hobbled downstairs. She sped up a bit, irritated, and managed to get the door open without agitating her wounds too much.

"Yo!" Anko beamed at her, "Just wanted to see my favourite – hey, what the fuck?"

Sakura took a step back as the jounin approached, studying her face with a frown.

"You been on a mission lately?" Anko was eyeing her up and down speculatively and though Sakura knew logically she had covered up all of the bruises, she still panicked.

She crossed her arms defensively, "Yeah, I had to put some genjutsu on that –"

"And the bride-to-be, she didn't like what you did with your hair so she kicked the shit out of you?" Anko snorted, hand snatching out so quickly Sakura didn't have time to react. She grabbed the younger girl's wrist and, seeing her flinch in pain, pulled up her sleeve.

There was a quiet moment in which Anko's eyes flickered over the livid bruising on her wrist, some shaped exactly like an older man's fingers.

Anko looked up at her face, perhaps seeing how deathly pale she was or the huge bags under her eyes, and drew her into a hug instantly.

Sakura struggled, trying to break out of the tight embrace, but Anko refused to let go, "What happened?" She murmured, stroking her hair.

"Nothing." Sakura said stubbornly. If she told Anko about Itachi she'd freak out and the whole village would know and they'd all think she was a traitor again…

Anko pushed her back slightly, raising an eyebrow, "Don't lie to me. What happened?"

Sakura just looked away, jaw clenched.

"Right," Anko said, pushing past her completely, slamming the front door shut behind her, "Lemme guess. Your old sensei paid you a visit, huh? He still here? I wanna have words with that little –"

"No, he isn't here." Sakura said quietly. Normally she would have flared up defensively, denying he'd been anywhere near her but she was just so  _tired_  all of a sudden. Like all of the pain and suffering had finally caught up with her and left her drained, exhausted, just plain  _sick._

"I kinda figured that," Anko turned around with a savage grin, "If he was here I'm assuming he wouldn't have let you answer the door. So he came here, beat you up and left?"

Deciding lying would be pointless, Sakura shrugged, "Actually he broke into my house, sent me to sleep with his Sharingan, took me to the Nara Forest while I was unconscious, waited for me to wake up, tried to talk to me, I attacked him, he won, I got bruised, end of story."

"I'm guessing the end of that particular story would have been the end of  _you_ , so come on. Why didn't he kill you? He just kidnapped you, had a nice chat with you, kicked you about and waltzed off?" Anko said incredulously.

Sakura took a deep breath and shook her head, "No. He tried to make me hurt him. I hurt him. I left."

"You hurt him?"

Sakura drew her finger across her throat absently.

Anko whistled, "Nice! And he just let you? Freak. Wait! You left him with his throat cut in the Nara Forest? I thought you meant he was long gone! I'll get a team of Anbu to –"

"He is long gone." Sakura cut in. Anko looked puzzled. Sakura grimaced, not wanting to tell Anko the next part, "I'm so sorry… Please, please don't misunderstand…. I healed him. I saved his life."

Anko stared at her. Then, she let out a great sigh and flung herself on the couch, hand placed over her face.

"Oh Sakura… I get that it's hard. He was someone you cared about…" Anko said, trying to sound understanding, but mostly sounding exasperated. She could not get a fix on Sakura's personality. Just when she thought she understood the younger girl completely she'd do something like this and totally overturn Anko's estimation of her.

"It wasn't that!" Sakura said, outraged at the mere thought of still caring about that psychopath, "He  _wanted_  me to attack him. He wanted me to be a murderer, to be just like him because he's sick and twisted!"

Anko tilted her head and looked thoughtful, "So you did it to prove him wrong?"

Sakura made a noise of assent, sitting next to Anko, looking up at her anxiously, "I didn't want to heal him. I swear I didn't! I mean, I have dreams about killing him. I thought that when I finally saw him again, I'd kill him. But in the end, I would have just made him  _proud_." She said bitterly.

"Did I ever tell you about Orochimaru?" Anko said pensively.

"Only a bit, mostly about how he smelt."

Anko was far off in her memories now, her eyes looking distant. "He was a kind mentor. Quiet, but full of praise for the slightest thing. He taught me about how fragile life is, and how you've gotta appreciate the beauty in death. Now I just think, screw him and his fucked up ideals, but nothing's gonna change that he majorly screwed me up as a kid, and that's shaped who I am today. It took me so long to get it straight in my head, that my kind teacher was a monster… I was terrified of being him. People looked at me funny in the street. For years, I figured I was gonna grow up to be him, a fucking monster. But then one day, I had a chat with the Sandaime. He told me it had been so hard to accept that his prized student had gone on to use his teachings to kill people, but he said to me that he didn't feel ashamed of being his teacher. He didn't let it get to him. He said: You cannot feel responsible for other people's actions; you can't live your life weighed down by your past mistakes. You can only move on and accept what has happened. So, I moved on. I kept on using his techniques and I was fine with it. You know why? 'Cause I was using what he taught me against him. There's no way he'd be happy knowing I was going round being a do-gooder in his name. It was fucking sweet, Sakura, honestly, knowing how he'd hate it. And look at me now! Bloodthirsty as they come, jounin, reasonably well-respected, and, most of  _alive_. I live each day laughing in his face 'cause I know he failed. He must want me dead so badly… It's fucking hilarious!"

Sakura was struck. It had never once occurred to her to use what Itachi had taught her against him. To go around fighting at full strength for the first time in four years? To live each day laughing in his face… That sounded so appealing, it even drew a sly smile to her face.

"Fuck the Uchiha," Anko declared, "Brat like him; the shinobi world'll eat him up. That idiot brother of his, he'll kill him and then you'll win. Right?"

This was what Anko and Sakura had decided; they played a game in which they'd make up scenarios of what they wanted to happen in life. Sakura always spent hers wishing more and more gruesome deaths for Itachi brought on by Sasuke, thus fulfilling his quest for revenge and allowing him to come home. Anko always scoffed at her dream. She said she was a woman of simple tastes, and that all she wanted was the pleasure of slowly skinning Orochimaru alive like the snake he was (a pleasure stolen from her when Sasuke killed him, selfish as always) and a house filled with dango.

"But right now we need to report the Weasel's visit to Hokage-sama," Anko said, jumping up.

Someone hammered on the door suddenly, making Sakura jump nearly out of her skin, still a bit edgy from last night.

"That was quick." Anko said flippantly, going to answer the door, pushing Sakura out of the way playfully and getting there first.

"What the fuck do you want?" She glared at the man at the door, the constant hammering finally getting on her nerves.

The chuunin looked alarmed, possibly because he had expected a fellow chuunin to answer the door, not the extremely terrifying fabled figure of ill-repute that was Mitarashi Anko.

Sakura edged her way past Anko to join her in glaring at the poor chuunin.

He perked up at the sight of her.

"Oh! Haruno-san! Hokage-sama requests your presence instantly, I mean, right now." The chuunin bleated.

Sakura looked down at her pyjamas.

"Instantly?" She crooked an eyebrow.

He flushed.

"She said: preferably five minutes ago." The chuunin quoted.

Anko tutted and wriggled out of her tan overcoat. The chuunin immediately averted his eyes as Anko's mesh-covered chest wiggled into sight.

She draped the coat over Sakura, comically swamping her small frame.

"There," Anko said with a wink, bumping her hip against Sakura's, sending her colliding with the doorframe painfully, "You look half-way decent!"

"You don't," Sakura said wryly, rubbing her sore hip pointedly.

She hid back in the living room and passed a glowing green hand over her injuries, just managing to heal enough that she would be able to pass under Tsunade's scrutiny without alerting her to the beating she'd taken recently.

She pulled the overcoat to herself tightly, noting with slight amusement that it smelt of sake and dango, and dutifully followed the chuunin up the path, waving to Anko despite knowing with absolute certainty that in her absence, Anko would merrily trash the house.

xxxxxxxx

Tsunade's office was full. Stacks of paperwork towered everywhere and there was a faint bitter tang of alcohol in the air that proved that Tsunade was being overworked as per usual. The chuunin had kindly escorted her to the Hokage's office and left her there, wandering about the empty room, impatiently waiting for Tsunade to return.

Mostly out of boredom, Sakura peered at a stained document, wanting to see if it could be spared. She caught a mention of Kakashi and, intrigued, scanned the paper.

 _Official Acts of Observation_  –:  **Watch List**

 _Followed Hatake to his residence – (_ There was a smudge here that made the rest of the sentence illegible)

_Unusual crow activity over Haruno's place of residence. Warning posted._

_Haruno looking thin and tired. For full report on health, see next page. Mental health is still under revision._

_No signs of Uchiha anywhere in Konoha. No reports of his activity for the past two months. Reports on failing eyesight prove inconclusive._

_Still, worth mentioning that Haruno's behaviour for past four years is mixed. Unstable behaviour evident. (_ Another smudge) _loyalty to anyone who asks, including the agent-of-influence. Erratic temperament – reports of psychological damage._

_Conc. No sign of Uchiha making contact with Haruno. Hatake clean as always. Haruno's family clean. Areas of concern remain, Haruno's mental health and Uchiha's use of crows._

_Haruno's current threat level:_ _**High** _ **.**

_Overall likelihood of Haruno turning hostile_ **: High.**

The report was signed and authorised by Tsunade.

Sakura stared at the paper, not noticing her hands begin to shake. They still suspected her. They still thought she was likely to turn, what was it they'd said? Hostile.

She felt cold.

Hostile.

They weren't just watching her, they were watching her family, Kakashi, who knows who else…

There were people watching her house, by the looks of the dates on the pages, fairly regularly, constantly there to make sure she didn't snap.

How had they missed Itachi? Oh. Of course. He'd killed them.

Sakura stared at the paper once again in complete disbelief. They thought she was  _mentally unstable?_ She couldn't believe it, could not believe that the people who had watched her grow up could possibly imagine for one second that she was crazy and, oh yeah, working with a mass-murderer.

How many times would she have to prove her loyalty? She'd had the chance to go with Itachi back when she was vulnerable, upset and young, still believing he was a good guy and she still had not left with him. She had refused to do that to her village. And this was her thanks for it, having her loyalty questioned and being put on a regular watch like some criminal?

All this time, she'd suspected they didn't really trust her, but she hadn't thought that they considered her a threat!

There were footsteps fast approaching, and Sakura hastily stuffed the paper back in the pile. She had just enough time to notice a mug of coffee had spilled on Tsunade's desk, staining most of the papers, when the woman herself appeared.

Sakura was still standing next to the desk, so she took a few steps forward, feeling as though her guilt was written all over her face.

Tsunade's hazel eyes flicked from Sakura to the papers and back, but she didn't react with anger or shock. She looked agitated, her hair was a mess and she was sweating slightly.

"Sakura." She wiped a hand over her hot face and looked at her student, her face serious.

Sakura bit her lip. This wasn't about the papers. This was something else entirely. Had Tsunade already found out about Itachi, and had come to punish her? Was it possible they thought she'd turned hostile already and was conspiring against them?

"We've got him." She said, her voice low and her eyes burning with intensity.

Sakura's stomach dropped and she had to grip the table to stop herself falling.

"Itachi?" She said fearfully, unsure why she felt horror-struck, only knowing that her heart was beating far, far too fast and she felt dizzy.

"No," Tsunade shook her head, "Sasuke."


	14. Shattered Glass and Seeing Black

Itachi was in a hotel room. He was looking into a mirror in the dark, watching his eyes finally turn back into black, feeling the ache begin to recede. He lightly traced the white line across his neck, a faint scar.

He still couldn't believe what had happened.

Sakura had saved him.

She had brutally ripped open his neck and then saved his life, surprising him twice in one go…

He had never thought his ex-student capable of hurting without hesitation, but he had never hoped she would heal him after attacking him…

He smiled.

He could still feel the cool, tugging sensation of her chakra pulling at the wound, refreshing as always. Out of all the people he'd known, Sakura had always had the cleanest, most gentle chakra he'd ever felt. But now, after meeting her again after so long, that gentle chakra was polluted by an all-consuming hatred, turning it black and twisted.

And yet, underneath all of that, he could still feel her compassion burning through. This girl was amazing. She survived everything he put her through and still retained her humanity, her kind nature.

When she had dropped to her knees, panicking, spreading her hands over his wound, it was like catching a glimpse of the old Sakura he had once known. He had been afraid he'd destroyed that part of her long ago.

But she'd sworn to kill him if she saw him again and Itachi could sense the determination behind her words. She could never hope to kill him, but she'd already proven she could hurt him again and again without even realising it.

He traced the scar again, thinking. Sakura was a good medic. She should have been able to close the wound completely without leaving a scar. And yet, there it was, a pale line right across his throat, now impossible to miss that someone had recently tried to tear his throat out. She'd done it on purpose, leaving the scar to show she had marked  _him_  for once, just like the Uchiha brand mark on her arm. The bruises he'd left on her would fade, but Itachi was certain his own scar would stay forever.

He shivered under the light touch of his finger over the potentially fatal wound.

What had he been thinking?

If he'd died by Sakura's hand, Sasuke could never be redeemed – could never kill him and become a hero in Konoha's eyes, saving the Uchiha's reputation…

But he'd felt so guilty. He'd seen the extent of what he had put Sakura through, and could not bear it. His intentions had always been good – keep some happiness for Sasuke alive, keep Sakura safe, redeem Sasuke…

He couldn't escape the knowledge that he had, as Sakura had so angrily informed him, ruined her life. And now she had come closer than even Sasuke had to killing him.

It had taken a while for Itachi to find out who had killed Sasori, partly because he hadn't bothered to ask for a long time, having not been close to him at all. Had it been Kisame… then, he would have cared enough to ask. He and Kisame shared the burden of knowing they had betrayed those closest to them. The only difference was, Kisame embraced the memories of his betrayal and Itachi locked his away in a corner of his mind, and did his best not to think about them.

When the news had spread that Sakura, with the aid of an old kunoichi from Suna, had been the one to kill Sasori, Itachi didn't believe it at first. He just could not connect the teary, kind but ever-so-slightly weak girl with the reason a strong, supposedly immortal shinobi was dead.

But she had ripped the floor from beneath them with one fist, had been able to meet his strength with no effort at all and had proven herself to be impossibly strong.

Now, he could believe she was capable of killing someone as strong as Sasori.

Amazing.

She'd claimed to have a better sensei than him, and it was fairly obvious who that was. The Hokage herself, seeing as Sakura had –to his pleasant surprise – developed into medical type, and had inherited her strength.

When he'd decided to teach Sakura, he'd had the vague idea that she'd know the basics a little earlier than usual, giving her a slight advantage. He'd thought she'd make chuunin, and end up running errands around the village like most people at her level. He had no idea she'd end up  _apprenticed to one of the Sannin_ , of all people. He had obviously not given her enough credit.

But, as Itachi put down the mirror and sat on the edge of the hotel bed, he dimly realised he was skirting around the real issue, the recent revelation he'd had concerning Sakura.

He was attracted to her.

His ex-student, whom he had known since she was six years old.

Sakura, the girl who despised him so much she'd break her one rule just for the pleasure of ending his life.

The girl who was deeply in love with his little brother. A love he himself had pushed her towards eagerly, hoping she would be Sasuke's happy ever after.

He rubbed his eyes, disgusted with himself. How immoral had he become?

He needed to see her one more time. This time, he'd tell her everything. He'd convince her, using the Sharingan if he had to, and then she would know how much he cared for her, how he had never stopped caring.

He could only hope her desire to kill him had diminished .

He remembered the promise she'd made to kill him, tracing the scar on his neck and shuddering once more.

For a moment, looking into her hate-filled eyes, he had almost believed she could.

xxxxxxxx

Sasuke sat a wooden table, hunched over, his face twisted in pain. Bruises blossomed all over his face, and his chin was covered in dried blood. His hands were tied behind his back awkwardly.

An interrogator was sitting opposite him, still pretending to simply be having a civil chat with the prisoner, whereas it was obvious it was merely the prelude to a more violent interrogation, if Sasuke did not cooperate.

"You  _have_  to let me see him," Sakura demanded, hands on the glass covering the cell Sasuke was sitting in. She could see him, but he couldn't see her.

There was a softly pulsing seal on his forehead, preventing him from generating even a drop of chakra.

"No, I don't." Tsunade said sternly, "He is a missing nin. He betrayed his village. He has  _killed_  people, Sakura. Like any other criminal, he is being questioned and he is not permitted visitors. So, I am sorry, Sakura, but you just can't see him."

"But he's my teammate." Sakura said simply, staring hard at the wounded, scared man who looked so much like her old sensei.

"Not anymore. He is not affiliated with any village. The last kind of connection he had to anyone was Orochimaru. Stop thinking of him as a member of this village, Sakura, because he obviously doesn't."

"What's going to happen to him?" Sakura asked bluntly.

"That depends on the level of his cooperation. If he doesn't respond to verbal interrogation, he will be tortured. If he doesn't provide information, he will likely be executed."

"What?" Sakura stared at her sensei, aghast, "What kind of information are you expecting him to have?"

"Anything on Orochimaru. Anything on his brother. Anything that will justify allowing him to live, Sakura. If he gives us something, I'm sure he'll be pardoned. If he doesn't have any information, then it is up to him. If he shows interest in being redeemed, the Council may consider it."

"What if he doesn't? Tsunade-sama, you don't know him like I do. His pride won't allow him to ask to be let back in the village. This isn't fair."

Tsunade was looking through the glass too, her breath lightly steaming up the clear surface.

"Every criminal in here, Sakura, is someone's ex-teammate gone rogue. Or their brother, or their sister, their mother, their father, their cousin, their aunt, their uncle, their best friend, their partner. Every criminal has to be treated the same. That is fair. What wouldn't be fair would be allowing Sasuke to go free and unpunished for his crimes whilst others suffer for lesser law-breaking. I'm sorry, Sakura, but he will be punished, whether you like it or not. Take comfort in the fact that, if this ends with his death, it will have been his own choice."

"No!" Sakura shouted, the volume of her voice shocking even her. She usually spoke in emotionless, dry tones, except with Anko…. and Itachi.

Inside the cell, Sasuke's head jerked up and he stared right through the glass, still unable to see her.

Tsunade looked outright astonished. In the four years she had known her, Sakura had never once raised her voice to her.

"It is  _not fair!_  What about me? I'm a traitor too, aren't I? According to everyone else, I'm just as much of a criminal as Sasuke is! Why aren't I in a cell too? Why wasn't I punished? Nothing about this is fair! I spend four years trying my best to repair my tattered fucking reputation, never making too much of a fuss, no matter how badly I'm treated – do you remember when that jounin 'accidently' burnt me? Did I complain? Did I cry? No! I have spent all this time being nothing but loyal! I had the chance to abandon Konoha and I didn't. I was twelve years old, scared and upset. And I still chose Konoha over  _him_. How much more proof do you need that I am not a traitor? How much longer until those reports you have written about me report something you consider conclusive evidence against me? Maybe I'll be your ex-student, Naruto's ex-teammate, my mother's daughter, the fucking pride and joy of my sensei, stuck in a cell with a seal on my forehead, wondering what I did wrong!" Sakura bellowed, throwing her hands up in despair, growing more and more angry as Tsunade just stood there and took her rage.

"So this is about you, not Sasuke." Tsunade tried to confirm, her hazel eyes worried.

If anything, it made Sakura even angrier. Everything about this sensei was a lie too, wasn't it? The smooth, youthful skin, the clear eyes, the soft, gentle voice, everything hid the fact that underneath, she was just another person who didn't trust Sakura.

"I'm just pointing out that while I'm standing out here with you, despite apparently committing a similar crime to Sasuke, while he's stuck in there, he might even die for it, and it just isn't fair!"

"If you keep crying about what is fair, Sakura, you will continue to sound like a child. You aren't in a cell, because  _I believed in you_. I believed you had merely been tricked by Itachi, that you were innocent all along. I am the only thing keeping you from being just another Sasuke. The Council voted to have you imprisoned, did you know that? I forbid it. I worked hard to keep you free, because I believed in you. Don't make me change my mind."

"I was interrogated, tortured, briefly imprisoned, and only released because they found nothing. Because I wasn't guilty. I was just a stupid little girl. So don't try to make out that I owe my freedom to you. Don't try to hold that against me. I'm not going to stand back and watch Sasuke die. I won't let him die." Sakura snapped, fully aware that Sasuke could hear everything she said.

"Sakura, there is nothing you can do!" Tsunade said, finally raising her voice.

"I said I won't let him  _die_!" Sakura shouted, losing her temper, slamming her fists down on the glass between her and Sasuke.

The glass shattered.

For a split second, Sakura's eyes met Sasuke's, glass showering down upon them, fists still up, anger coursing through her.

"Sakura!" Tsunade shouted, breaking the spell. She seized her student around the middle, trying to pull her back.

"Sasuke!" Sakura called out desperately, "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

Sasuke stared back at her, face bruised and shocked. His interrogator was cursing, covered in glass.

"I didn't know who he was!" Sakura said urgently, "He never told me his name! "

He looked down at his lap. He looked up again a second later, a pained, twisted smirk on his face. "I forgive you." He said simply, "Do me a favour? Kill him."

Sakura froze, eyes impossibly wide.

"I will." She said faintly, "I will."

Tsunade finally got a good grip on her, and pulled her backwards, away from Sasuke, her eyes on him the whole time.

xxxxxxxx

"What were you thinking?" Kakashi asked her after lightly clipping her on the head in reprimand.

Sakura sat at the ramen bar, stirring her cup of noodles endlessly, her mind elsewhere. Sai sat her right, Kakashi on her left. Sai looked as concerned as he could and as usual, Sakura didn't have a clue what Kakashi thought of it all.

"I was thinking one of my closest friends might be executed for a crime most people believe I myself committed four years ago." Sakura replied flatly, not looking at either of them. She wasn't in the mood for their stale concern, or empty words of support.

"In the very unlikely outcome of Sasuke's execution, it would be because he has killed people, Sakura, not just because he betrayed the village." Kakashi folded his arms, ignoring his own bowl of noodles.

"I doubt that he will be executed," Sai agreed with Kakashi, "Tortured extensively, of course." He added as an afterthought.

Sakura ate a mouthful of stale noodles and mused on the topic. Sasuke had been absolutely certain he would die, she knew, otherwise he would never have asked her to kill Itachi for him.

That request… how could she possibly grant it? If, by some miracle, she got her shit together long enough to attack Itachi with full killing intent, how was she supposed to be able to kill him? He was a prodigy, a mass-murdering prodigy whose skill level far surpassed her own.

But she'd said yes immediately, without even needing to think about it. She had already promised she would kill Itachi. It was only a matter of fulfilling her promise.

xxxxxxxx

The villagers crowded the centre of Konoha, bustling about in the rain like it was any other day, merchants closing up shop, bread hastily being sold, people rushing about here and there in a blur of colour.

Sakura pushed through, eyes seeking the wooden platform, people closing in on her from all sides. Kakashi stood up at the front of the crowd, obviously looking for her. Sai was one of the people she shoved past desperately, ignoring his comforting hand sliding over her arm as she passed him, breaking into a run the moment she had room.

Tsunade stood on the platform, looking about ten years older, sadness etched in every line of her face.

Sasuke was restrained by two Anbu members, his wrists and ankles bound. He had been allowed to choose his own outfit to die in. He wore a dark blue shirt that was too big for him, obviously his father's, with a large Uchiha insignia emblazoned on the front. His bruises stood out lividly on his pale skin, dark, wet hair plastered against his face.

He looked out at the crowd with nothing but a defiant sneer on his face.

Sakura kicked up her pace, finally reaching the platform in a flare of chakra. The chakra flare alerted the people on the platform. Tsunade looked down at her, biting her lip.

Two Anbu dropped down beside her, murmuring placations and holding their hands up, trying to stop her from climbing on the platform.

She was forced to remain in the crowd, her arms held by the Anbu, her eyes fixed on Sasuke.

Over the dizzying roar of the villagers, Sakura shouted, " _THIS IS NOT FAIR_!"

The people nearest to her gave her funny looks.

Sasuke met her gaze.

She couldn't hear him, but she watched his mouth shape the words, "This is fair."

"What about Naruto!" She bellowed, "What about Kakashi-sensei, what about me? You can't leave us behind!"

"Naruto can live without me." Sasuke said, actually moving closer, the Anbu surprisingly allowing the movement, "So can Kakashi," He said, looking at his old sensei, who looked back at him steadily. He gave him a nod, which was slowly returned, "So can you, Sakura."

"I don't want to!" Sakura shouted back, face screwed up.

Sasuke smirked then, looking every inch his old self. "Still annoying after all this time. I'm going to die, Sakura," He said bluntly, rain dripping down his face, "And you aren't. Live, and kill him. That's what you owe me."

Sakura had no words to say, too many questions and pleas were running through her mind for her to voice. The Anbu held her tighter.

The sky was a murky grey, rain pouring down upon the village. Sakura was soaked down to her bones, shivering, her hands gripping the side of the wooden platform.

She wished for someone, anyone, to come and save Sasuke. Naruto, who would of course be enraged by this, he would come crashing through, his eyes blood-red and vengeful, he would save Sasuke. Itachi, even, for whatever stupid reason he could come up with, Sakura wished with all her heart that a crow would suddenly appear and Itachi would show up to save his little brother.

But of course, he wouldn't.

No one was going to save Sasuke.

He was being forced to his knees, his neck on the block, looking down at her with an enigmatic smirk on his poor, wounded face.

The crowd began to chant, their faces twisted and jeering, some of them spitting on the platform.

Sakura screamed.

No one was coming.

This was really happening.

This was it.

The end.

Just as the axe came down, Sakura's vision went black and the familiar scent of dango surrounded her as the Anbu were ripped away from her.

Anko had pulled the younger girl into her overcoat, blocking her view of Sasuke's death.

Sakura stood shivering, feeling Anko's heat seep through her comfortingly. The older woman's arms wrapped around her.

She could hear the cheers of the crowd.

Sasuke's weak, supressed chakra had been cut off abruptly.

Tsunade was shouting for the crowd to calm down.

Sakura stared at the blackness of the coat surrounding her, shaking uncontrollably, unable to think anything but, "Sasuke is dead."

Sasuke is dead.

xxxxxxxx

She sat on the wooden, dusty floor, the cloying stench of lilies in the air and her hands pressed together in prayer so tightly it hurt.

She had walked away from Anko, from Kakashi, Sai…. Sasuke. She had walked away blankly, completely expressionless. No one had stopped her. She had slowly, mechanically, walked to the abandoned Uchiha manor, stopping only to buy some lilies from Ino's shop. Ino had been horrified to see her there, asking what had happened, had Sasuke been executed yet, was she OK? Sakura had paid and left without a word, still seeing nothing.

Now she sat and prayed in silence, praying desperately for Sasuke to be at peace, for him to be alright.

She stood up, blowing the candles out. There was no friendly, familiar presence in the air today. No feeling of eyes on her back.

She looked out the window, and dimly registered it was still raining.

She thought she would like to feel the rain on her numb skin, a reassurance that she could still feel.

She stumbled out of the house, thinking only of the soothing water cleansing her, washing away her pain.

It was later now, and there were fewer people on the streets as she walked.

She stopped suddenly after realising she had automatically taken the road that would lead to Konoha's exit. She looked to the side of her and saw the bench Sasuke had left her on, four years ago.

No.

She was shaking again and this was worse than not feeling. This hurt. It clawed at her chest and howled.

She looked up and realised that it had stopped raining.

Her cheeks were newly wet with tears.

She was crying.

People all around her stopped and stared at the traitor girl, the one who never showed emotion, standing in the middle of the street, sobbing brokenheartedly like her world had just ended, falling to her knees.

There was a thin keening sound and Sakura realised it was coming from her. She was kneeling on the wet, dirty pavement in front of a bench, wailing her lament for Sasuke's death.

A hand lightly grasped her elbow and she looked up and saw Naruto.

He was sobbing just like she was, his face crumpled and defeated.

It was too much.

Sakura felt the rage pump inside her, the feeling of absolute outrage and utter fury at the fact that Sasuke was  _dead_.

More hands were grabbing her and she pushed them away blindly, still sobbing, shouting the word, "No!" over and over again until it ceased to make sense to her, was just a vocalisation for her agony.

She was screaming, shoving away the people who were grabbing at her, blind to all around her, throwing her chakra-laden fists around in a panic, crying so hard it hurt, a lump in her throat aching, her breath coming out in gasps.

Naruto was shouting her name and she couldn't even focus on that, could only feel the pain and rage battling inside her.

And then a familiar face entered her vision and she felt a sharp pain in her neck as Tsunade hit her pressure point, knocking her out instantly.

xxxxxxxx

The hospital room was dark. The restraining straps burned against her chest, arms and legs, laced with chakra to keep her down.

She was still crying, her face pressed into her pillows, the cotton soaking up her tears.

She had never felt more alone or more broken, lying in a darkened hospital room, Sasuke dead and no one around.

She still couldn't quite believe Sasuke was dead. She had pushed through the crowd, fully expecting to climb up onto the platform, deliver a testimony about how Sasuke didn't deserve this, about how he was a member of Team Seven and didn't that count for something?

As the date of his impending execution had approached, Sakura had refused to believe it was the end. She had begged Tsunade over and over to reconsider, to let him live.

In the end, just before the axe had been lifted, she had still believed he would walk away from all of this mess alive, that she would take him to Ichiraku's with Naruto, Sai and Kakashi, and they'd laugh about how badly it could have gone.

The tapping on the window was all she had to warn her before someone stepped into her vision.

A dark swirl of red clouds.

Sakura froze, lying tied down to the bed with no chakra left.

Itachi bent down to peer at her face, and she saw that he was crying.


	15. Scratching Sounds and Restraining Straps

There was a scratching sound in another room, far away. Sakura could hear it constantly grating at her ears, a soft, low sound that was impossible to ignore.

It was dark in her room. The curtains had been closed so the only lighting in the room was a dim bulb that kept flickering on and off.

Sakura closed her eyes and breathed in. She imagined what her friends would be doing right about now. Ino would be asleep after saying goodnight to her parents, probably still shaken by what had happened that day. Kakashi-sensei would either be sitting in a bar slowly drinking away his memories of the execution with Gai at his side, or demanding a difficult mission to take his mind off it. Naruto would be sitting alone in his apartment, or shouting at Tsunade.

What would Sakura be doing if she was free? She'd be with Naruto, shouting at Tsunade until her voice grew hoarse.

She found that it was easier to cope with the seething emotions inside of her if she stroked the bed sheet under her fingers, the feel of the soft material a welcome distraction from the pain and anger she suffered from.

When she finally regained control over herself, she looked into Itachi's blood red eyes fearlessly, not caring if he tortured her mentally or not. Not anymore.

He was sitting beside her like a regular visitor, like any other sensei come to see his student. His tears had dried up and now he was staring at her face, a quiet desperation in his eyes.

"Have you come to finish the job?" Sakura asked, her voice once again lifeless and dull. She couldn't attempt to put feeling into her words. The rage and pain that had leapt up at the sight of him had been supressed by the numbing grief Sasuke's death had brought.

Itachi put a hand over his eyes and leant forward, breathing rapidly.

He finally brought his hand away from his face after a moment of silence and moved closer to her bed.

"I would  _never_ ," Itachi said fervently, "hurt you."

Sakura let her eyes slide away from his face and onto her forearm, where she could see the burnt Uchiha logo pulsing gently on her skin.

"I'm so tired," She said, surprised at the sob rising in her throat. She lay back and fixed her eyes on the ceiling, tears gathering, "So tired of you. I'm tired of wondering why you did all of the terrible things you did. But most of all, I'm tired of your  _pretending._  One minute you act as though you still care, like the  _sick_ , twisted bastard you really are, playing with my mind, and the next you show your true colours, and you hurt me again. So please. Just. Stop. Stop pretending you care. I can't take it anymore."

Now the tears were flowing freely and she couldn't even bring herself to feel ashamed of crying in front of him.

He dared to put his hand on her arm, feeling her stiffen under his unwelcome touch. He nearly flinched at the loathing-filled eyes she turned on him until he removed his hand.

"Sasuke's dead." She said, swallowing, "He's dead and gone and  _it is your fault_. You pushed him to do all of the things he was executed for! You couldn't just allow him to live a happy, normal life despite what you had already done to him, you had to nearly break his mind and force him to the breaking point for no good reason! As if murdering his family wasn't enough! You are a monster! The world would be better off without you!"

"That is enough," Itachi said coldly, standing.

If he expected her to be afraid, he would be disappointed, Sakura vowed, glaring up at him without a trace of fear. She lacked the capacity for fear. It went missing around about the time the axe fell and destroyed one of her best friends.

"It is time you learned the truth." Itachi appeared to regain himself and sat back down, "About why I killed my family."

"Do you expect me to believe any more bullshit from you? No matter how you sweeten it with charm, murder is murder. Mass murder is inexcusable. If all you're here to do is lie to me, you may as well leave because I am never going to listen to you. If I wasn't tied down, my hands would be around your neck."

"No," Itachi said wearily, "You would be dead. You can't kill me, Sakura. You can't even try. No matter how much you want to, blind rage and hatred is not enough. You need to be stronger than I am," He looked down at his hands in a strange, unseeing kind of way. His next words were quiet, "And no matter how hard I have looked, few people are stronger than I am."

It was weird. He should have been boasting – his words alone certainly indicated that he had an inflated ego, no matter how justified his regard for his strength might be, but the words were hollow. As though they were just bare facts that he was stating, not for the pleasure of bragging, merely to inform her.

"I killed my family," He said quietly, so quietly she had to strain to hear him, "Because they were planning to overthrow Konoha. It would be the beginning of another war. I could not bear to live through another. I was four when the Third Shinobi War took place. I became a pacifist after that. I did not want to grow into another killing machine. But, inevitably, the strong are always noticed first, and used the most. My family's actions would trigger another war. I was chosen by the village officials, to stop the threat against Konoha," Itachi stopped speaking, his eyes bleak.

Sakura couldn't breathe, could only stare at Itachi in horror.

"Even though they were my family, I had my duty. My village. How many would die if my family didn't? I made sure that Sasuke would be safe. I made them swear. I left him alive and told him to live hating me until he grew strong enough to kill me. And then, he would be revered as the hero who got rid of the mass-murdering monster who killed the Uchihas. Sasuke was our family's last hope of redemption. He could be a hero, saving the Uchihas' reputation, and I would die the villain, having played my part perfectly. I owed my family that much. I owed Sasuke my life. I should be the one who is dead." He had recounted his tale in emotionless, dry tones up until he spoke of owing his family. He began to shake, so lightly that Sakura could barely see it.

"Liar." She whispered, hardly daring to believe it. If he was lying – and of course he was, he had to be – then he was even more twisted than she had thought. To make up such a detailed story just to convince her he wasn't evil…

It didn't make sense.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?" Sakura said, almost pleadingly. She didn't want to die, not even after everything that had happened to her yet, but she wanted the normality of her life to be restored and in her life, Itachi was evil. That was normal. This… sad explanation… it was not normal. She needed reassurance that she had suffered all of these years because he was a sick son of a bitch and it was all his fault.

"Because I care about you," He said softly, his eyes imploring her to believe him. The red faded away until she could see the black eyes of her old sensei, "I never told you what I did because I had never told anyone. It was classified. I am not a missing nin. I am not a traitor to Konoha. I am merely deep undercover. I've dedicated my life to keeping Konoha safe and after I met you I wanted to do the same for you. I thought I could just help you, keep you alive. I hoped you would never find out about me. But you did, and I had to hurt you to keep my secret. I had to hurt you and Sasuke."

Sakura now knew how Gaara felt when he clutched his head, eyes wide, as his world rearranged itself around him. Everything was changing again… her perception of Itachi… she was too wary, too scarred by past betrayals, to accept everything this man said at face value, but his words seemed honest. He had no logical reason to lie to her. If he truly was evil, he would have killed her in front of Sasuke all those years ago to prove his point.

Right?

"No!" Sakura shouted suddenly, trying to rear upwards, straining against the chakra strings until they groaned, "Sasuke died because of you! I have lived in a village that despises me because they believed I was allied with a murderer, I have been tortured, imprisoned, hated and feared! You left a mark on me, Itachi," She jerked her arm up as far as she could, trying to show him the burn mark, "Not just burnt into my skin, but my  _life_. You destroyed everything I had, my friends didn't trust me, my sensei – my  _real_  sensei – was hurt by my deception, my mother couldn't look at me… If you say you have lived life reviled for being something you aren't, then how  _dare_  you make me suffer the same fate knowing exactly how fucking lonely and miserable that existence is!"

Itachi flinched. He sighed and put his head in his hands.

Sakura's face had contorted in her rage, her eyebrows pulled so sharply together it hurt, her mouth screwed up. Her anger was boiling back up again after hours of feeling dead and numb. She was no longer cold and unfeeling, she was hot and fuming and she wanted nothing more than to grab his fucking neck and squeeze until he met his brother in the afterlife, let him whine about not dying at the right moment  _then!_

"When I first met you," He said carefully, as though trying his best not to rouse her anger any further, "You were a child. A happy, weak child, who was doomed already to die as cannon-fodder. After meeting you, I knew I could not just allow you to go on with your life when it would end so shortly… I believed I owed Sasuke a small piece of happiness, and after seeing how you cared for him, I wanted you to always be there for him… in a way that I could no longer be."

"My own village hated me," She said flatly, "I would rather have died than live through that. You did me no favours. I wanted nothing more than to fight for my village, like even you could, but you denied me that basic privilege that every other ninja took for granted! When I died, I was so sure I wouldn't even get a grave… Nothing to remember me by… no statue to honour my life. Just a file in the Hokage's office and a shameful memory for Konoha to forget…"

"I could never have known they would consider you a traitor!" Itachi burst out with suddenly, "I had no idea they would treat you like that!"

"How could you not have considered the possibility that fraternising with and being  _trained_  by a mass murderer could have damaged my good standing in Konoha?" She snorted derisively.

"I thought they would be more reasonable. They have the Yamanaka Clan. They would have looked into your mind and saw that you were innocent."

"They did," Sakura said, temper flaring, "After they took a kunai and dug it around in my stomach for a while."

Itachi came closer and slowly, carefully, he put his hands on either side of her face, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. Sakura restrained herself from leaning into his touch, refusing to let her desire for comfort to show.

"I want nothing more than to track down every person who tortured you and inflict the same pain upon them that they caused you." He said, his voice low and intense, his eyes burning.

Sakura stared unflinchingly back at him, ignoring his proximity, "I thought you weren't a monster?"

He breathed out deeply, his breath cold against her cheek, "I have always been driven to do monstrous things in order to protect those who I care about."

"Sasuke should have known the truth." Sakura said, grimacing at the realisation that this was it, she truly believed him. Maybe what the interrogators had drilled into her was true – she was a gullible fool, and her naiveté would lead her to her end.

"He could not. He was only a child when the massacre happened. He wouldn't have understood, and I couldn't have him telling anyone about it. When I met him again, I was with my Akatsuki partner. I could not have shown an inch of mercy when I hurt him, Sakura, or my cover would have been blown and Kisame might have chosen to kill Sasuke himself. I regret the pain I caused you and Sasuke every day."

Sakura had almost convinced herself she was dreaming. She had had this dream all too often. Her sensei would somehow, inexplicably, prove he really was good all along, and she would talk with him like this again. Just to sit and speak with him, knowing he was real, not a liar or a monster. That was all she dreamed of.

She knew it wasn't a dream, however, because Sasuke had never been dead in these blissful dreams.

"He's dead." Sakura's mouth quivered and she shuddered, emotion suddenly bubbling up, more tears forming in her eyes as the memory of Sasuke's bruised face staring defiantly out at the crowd baying for his blood assaulted her, "Why didn't you save him?"

"I didn't get here in time," Itachi closed his eyes; "I got to the outskirts of Konoha and overheard a few traders talking. They … they said he had been executed earlier that day, and that his teammate had gone insane and had been hospitalised for her own safety."

"I was standing there at the platform," Sakura replied, vision blurring as the tears swelled, "And he was so calm. He didn't care that he was going to die. Right up until the end, I believed he would be fine. I even hoped… that you would save him. I almost saw him die, but my friend, Anko… she covered my eyes for me. Itachi. Sasuke made me swear that I would kill you for him."

Itachi's face betrayed the slight flash of pain that comment gave him. His beloved younger brother's last wish was that he would die by Sakura's hand.

He sat back down in the chair.

"Do you want to?" He asked quietly.

Sakura's shoulder gave a convulsive jerk upwards. She had no idea what she wanted anymore. It seemed as though Itachi was going to screw with her mind every few years or so, changing her world radically every time.

"Yes," She said raggedly. He looked away, "and no. I want to kill the smirking bastard who hurt me and betrayed me. I want to believe you are my sensei, and that you aren't the evil scumbag I thought you were. If Sasuke knew why you had killed his family, I'm sure he wouldn't want you dead. He loved you once."

"As did you," Itachi nodded, looking at her steadily.

"A child," Sakura corrected him, "A child loved you. I am not that child. I am the shell of the girl you knew."

They both considered this for a while. Itachi might be the old sensei she had believed dead and buried, and he was clearly chasing the ghost of the girl she had once been. Neither of them had escaped the ordeal unchanged. If Itachi cared for her at all, it would be the happy, cheerful twelve year old he had known, not this prickly, cold girl who had clawed her way out from beneath the ashes of her former self. Sakura wasn't even sure who she was anymore.

"Nevertheless," Itachi said, "You are the only thing I have left to remember that little girl."

The scratching noise had long since faded away, but Sakura could suddenly hear footsteps, heels clicking briskly along the hallway, coming towards them.

"Someone's coming." She hissed. It was almost amusing. When Itachi had first appeared, she had hoped someone would come and find him. Now she was warning him! For all her claims of being smarter and wiser now, it was clear that she would never change. She would always be that stupid girl who allowed herself to be fooled by the same trick twice. It was fine. She had gotten used to self-loathing over the years. You learned to avoid mirrors, especially when your mistake was burnt into your arm.

He gave her one last intense look filled with regret, tucking her hair behind her ears and wiping her face clean of tears again.

He left through the window, and Sakura was left to explain to an irate nurse why she had been shouting in the middle of the night in a hospital.

xxxxxxxx

She awoke to sunlight.

Someone had been kind enough to open the blinds and the window, letting a soothing breeze flow into the room, lightening the atmosphere.

Sakura glanced to her left, and knew immediately who had opened the window.

Naruto sat in the chair Itachi had occupied the night before.

He had taken his headband off, leaving his hair free to fall in his beautifully blue eyes. His shirt had slipped over one shoulder, revealing a slice of paler skin the sun hadn't touched.

He was crying.

Sakura wanted to comfort him. She felt her fingers twitch in her desire to reach out and give him a hug, place a hand on his knee, just  _anything_ to take away that agonized expression.

"Naruto," She said, her voice coming out hoarse from sleep.

He jumped.

His eyes fell on her restrained form and he started to cry again.

"Sakura-chan," He wept, "I can't believe what's happened. I… I got here late. Too late. Baa-chan sent me a letter, but the hawk was slow… I," His words dissolved into sobs, "I was running into the village as fast as I could, but when I found you crying, I just… knew."

Sakura could feel herself crumbling, could feel the hard wall breaking down. For Team Seven to have been reduced to this… It wasn't fair. No matter how childish Tsunade thought she was for claiming it was unfair, it was the truth. The team had been plagued with disaster from the start.

With Sasuke dead…

"He wasn't upset," She said, her voice thick with tears despite herself, "In the end. He was smirking, like he found it funny. He chose to die, Naruto. I begged him, but he believed we could live without him. I… I obviously reacted badly to his death but… he didn't. He was almost happy."

Naruto blinked watery eyes in confusion, "He wanted to die?"

"I think he didn't mind dying," Sakura wanted to shrug, but the chakra strings prevented the movement. After a long night pinned down to the bed, Sakura was sore everywhere, especially her chest where the strings cut in mercilessly.

Naruto nodded and wiped his eyes, "I hope he… I hope he was OK," He looked away, out the window, at the sunlight, "I just wish I could have at least been there."

"No," Sakura shook her head, an ugly grimace on her face, "You don't. You're lucky you weren't."

"I'd have gone Kyuubi," Naruto said ruefully, miming an explosion with some wiggly finger movements, "I could have killed them all."

Sakura almost said she wished he had, but bit her tongue sharply. She was being restrained for a  _reason_ , and she needed to keep that reason in mind. The only reason she was here was because she had started attacking people. The last thing she wanted was to follow in her sensei's footsteps and become a missing nin for real.

"Are you… alright?" Naruto seemed to read her mind, gesturing to the various straps and chakra strings tying her down.

"I'm not going to go around massacring people, if that's what you mean," Sakura responded dully, eyes on the ceiling.

She missed Naruto's wince, "Um, no. I meant it looks like it hurts."

"It doesn't," Sakura said shortly, lying.

For some reason this made Naruto burst into tears again, to her shock.

"I will save you," Naruto promised, his voice shaking, "I couldn't save Sasuke, but I promise, I'll save you."

Sakura felt oddly touched, but confused, "Why do I need saving?"

"He left Konoha," Naruto said weakly, "I don't want you to leave."

xxxxxxxx

Kakashi came next.

He slunk in the room, the carefully measured steps letting Sakura know he had gone with the first option and drank himself into oblivion the night before.

He didn't sit down, but hovered at her side, his fingers twitching towards his kunai holster. Sakura assumed he either wanted to stab her or set her free. She knew it was the latter by the way he'd greeted her with a pat on the shoulder.

"How are you?" He asked, dark eye running up and down her constricted body as though measuring the pain she was in. Judging by the way his hands clenched into fists, he'd noticed how tight the straps cut into her skin.

Sakura didn't let the pain enter her voice, although after a whole night and half a day strapped to a bed she was left in agony, "As good as can be expected."

Kakashi rubbed his cloth-covered jaw but said nothing. She could see he was struggling to find the words to adequately express the situation.

"I just wanted to thank you," Sakura said quickly, before he could speak. He raised an eyebrow, "For always standing by me even though… I made you look bad. Thank you for believing in me."

Kakashi didn't say a word, but his hand settled on her head affectionately.

"Tell everyone who cares that I'm no traitor," Sakura urged him, "Shout it from the rooftops of you have to. Tell Naruto, tell Sai, tell Ino, tell Tsunade-sama, Anko, my mother, everyone, tell them I am innocent."

"…What are you planning to do?" He asked, the shadow of his mouth frowning beneath his mask, "Get revenge on Itachi?"

"I don't know," Sakura sighed, "But look at me. This has gone too far. I don't want to die a traitor's death that I don't deserve."

Kakashi looked at her, long and hard.

"One of my students has died," He said, "Please do not do the same."

xxxxxxxx

After her mother and grandmother had left, convinced that Sakura was thinking about going away for her health and that was the only reason she had been left here, tied to a bed for a whole day and night, Itachi entered the room again, so quietly and stealthily she hadn't even noticed him approach her bed.

"Sakura," He said in a low voice, the hospital room dark once more, his red eyes spinning in the gloom, "I have made a decision. I left you and Sasuke alone, and I will live to regret that decision. Now, I won't make that mistake again. I want you to come with me."

Sakura had known he would come creeping back into her room, had known it since he'd stroked her face, had suspected he would want her to leave with him. She'd been thinking about it all day, mulling it over in her mind, throwing up pros and cons for leaving and staying.

Pro for leaving: She could be with Itachi.

Con for leaving: She would be leaving behind everyone else she loved.

Pro for staying: She wouldn't disappoint her loved ones.

Con for staying: Everyone else in the village despised her and would gladly see her dead.

Living there had gotten her tortured, accused, despised, mistrusted and so many other things… Sasuke had been executed despite her wishes… This was the village that had actually ordered Itachi to kill his own family. What if they'd wanted a similar show of loyalty from her?

But…

"Akatsuki want Naruto dead." She said sharply.

"I'm not asking you to join Akatsuki. I'm not asking you to betray Konoha. I'm just asking you to leave with me."

The chakra straps had cut off her blood supply hours ago and she was in such pain…

Itachi bent down near her face and whispered, "Please."


	16. Tracking Blood and Old Friends

"They've called me a traitor all my life," Sakura said acidly, "Let's prove them right."

Itachi's eyes flickered into Sharingan as he nodded.

He leant over her with a kunai in his hand. She had to fight the fear that rose at the sight – the infamous Uchiha Itachi, leaning over her with a kunai and a determined expression….

The metal began to gleam blue as Itachi pumped chakra into the weapon. He sliced the chakra strap cutting into her chest first, noting how tightly it had been secured. She took a deep breath for the first time in hours. The next to go were the wrists and ankles.

Finally when the chakra had faded from the restraints, leaving her free to move, Itachi put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back when she tried to get up.

"This is going to hurt." He warned her.

"I know." She said simply.

First, she moved her arms upwards. It took a long time for the blood to actually flow back and for her arms to respond. The pain was unbelievable. She gritted her teeth and started stretching her muscles, unable to stop the whimpers from escaping her lips.

Itachi's fist clenched a little more for every sign of pain she showed.

She managed to push herself upwards, slowly, painfully swinging her legs down to hang from the side of the bed.

She had to push to her face into the pillow to stop the cry of agony from being released as the blood started to flow back in her legs.

Itachi watched silently, radiating anger and disapproval.

She couldn't stand up for a long time.

Itachi held her hands gently and pulled her to her feet, letting her rest her head on his shoulder as she placed her feet in the floor, her arms around his neck.

He warily slid his arms around her waist, fully aware that this was the first consensual embrace they had had in four years. Sakura was still warm from the chakra strings and she was trembling all over from the pain.

"Are you alright?" He asked, forcing his tone to be more formal than usual, to distance himself from the situation.

She breathed out shakily, her breath unwittingly caressing his ear.

"I'm fine." She said roughly, letting go of his neck and managing to stand upright on her own.

He gave her a soldier pill to help her last the journey.

"Will you be able to run?" He asked.

She shook her head, clutching the bedframe and grimacing.

He sighed.

Sakura yelped as she found herself in his arms, being lifted bridal style.

"Let me go!" She hissed.

"We need to get going,  _now,_ " He muttered, "We don't have time to wait for you to recover."

The window was already open so he stepped out onto the sill, adjusting her so she was lying more comfortably in his arms.

Then he leapt out into the black night and Sakura's stomach dropped in fear as they fell through open space. She was still wearing her every day shinobi wear, thank God they hadn't thought to put her in a hospital gown otherwise she'd be both exposed and freezing.

He hit the ground running.

Sakura was irrationally amazed that hundreds of Anbu hadn't swooped down upon them the moment they left the hospital, but Itachi was running both swiftly and silently, sticking to the shadows.

The dark streets of her village sped past them in a blur of familiar sights and smells, the ramen shop Naruto frequented, the Hokage monument, Kakashi's house, every building and sight she'd grown to know like the back of her hand was rushing away.

She found herself trying very hard not to cry. This was it. Konoha. She was leaving forever.

Leaving behind her friends, Ino, Tenten, Naruto… her family… her Hokage.

Her life.

Everything she'd ever known was rapidly shrinking away as Itachi's feet moved in a blur.

I really  _am_  a traitor now, she thought hollowly. There was no escaping the fact that she had willingly left the village in the company of a missing nin.

Itachi was speeding through the village so quickly her breath was stolen by the wind.

They reached the exit, where guards were patrolling. Itachi completed a concealment genjutsu over himself and Sakura so quickly she couldn't see the hand seals.

Sakura had just enough time to wish she could explain to her loved ones why she was betraying them, and then they were out of Konoha and racing through the outskirts.

To her surprise, after twenty minutes hard running, Itachi halted and dispelled the concealment jutsu.

He rearranged her in his arms so that he had an arm around her neck and the other holding her waist securely. She heard his sleeve shift as a hidden kunai came out to point at her neck threateningly.

" _What_  are you doing?" She cried out, struggling as she felt the blade slice her neck. A drop of blood ran down the kunai and dripped down to the ground.

"Play along." He whispered in her ear.

A slight rustle in the trees above was the only warning Sakura had.

Six Anbu stood before them, masks gleaming in the moonlight, all hands on their weapon holsters.

There was a smooth metallic scraping as all the elite ninja unsheathed their swords in the same moment and pointed them at Itachi.

"Uchiha Itachi," The leader, a short woman with a dog mask, stepped forward. Her voice was oddly guttural, as though she had once suffered a throat injury.

"You are charged with the massacre of the Uchiha clan, and the kidnapping and torture of Haruno Sakura." She growled, her sword's point gleaming as it traced a threatening pattern in the air.

Kidnapping and torture? Sakura's eyebrows shot up. When had he… ah. They were classing this as a kidnap case, and Itachi had used the Mangekyo on her when she was a child.

Itachi tilted his head, "Is that all?" He asked, his tone light and carefree.

"There are more charges to be brought forth," The woman replied, "Surrender the hostage and allow yourself to be detained."

"Is that my only option?" Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"It is surrender," The woman said harshly, "Or be cut down where you stand."

Itachi very carefully lowered Sakura to the ground. He pointed his kunai at her, despite the leader Anbu's warning growl.

"Don't run off." He cautioned her, "I'll find you."

He was either a fantastically good story-teller and had made up the whole Uchiha coup thing to get her on his side, or he was acting for the Anbu's benefit.

It worked, the Anbu leader let her sword's point drag in the dirt threateningly.

Sakura figured she should play her part too, so she recoiled from Itachi and put her hands over her head.

After that, there was a clanging of metal on metal and a grunt. The sounds of fighting went on for about five minutes. Sakura kept her hands over her head the whole time, partly to keep in character and partly because she was terrified Itachi really was an evil bastard and was slaughtering the Anbu for fun.

When would she learn to trust him?

Or rather,  _should_  she trust him?

When the noise of fighting faded, Sakura opened her eyes.

Itachi was standing over the fallen Anbu, not panting or showing any hint he'd just been in a major fight with six elite ninja.

"I didn't kill them." Itachi said at her fearful look, "You know I don't kill unless absolutely necessary. They will go back to the Hokage and report that I was threatening you and you were frightened. They will believe I kidnapped you against your will."

Sakura was unsure whether she was relieved or not. On the one hand, now her village would believe she had been blameless all along (as was the truth) and Tsunade wouldn't think badly of her. But it meant that everyone who cared about her would be worried…

"We have to go," He said, for the first time beginning to look anxious, "If they had time to send an Anbu squad then they must have discovered you were missing straight after we left."

"I can run on my own now," Sakura pushed herself to her feet, testing herself. Yes, her feet could take her weight without her knees buckling, and the soldier pill had finally started to take effect, "Let's go."

xxxxxxxx

She wasn't sure how long they had been travelling, but it was long enough to make Sakura appreciate the invention of soldier pills. She had to keep blinking furiously as they sped through the trees, the wind blowing straight in her face, stealing her breath and bringing tears to her eyes.

If anything, they seemed to be kicking up the pace now, flying through the forest. She kicked out as she landed on a branch and heard it crack. She was onto the next before it had even broken in half. The annoying thing was that Itachi was so obviously slowing his pace so that she could keep up.

The trees had begun to thin out. She could see a village on the horizon. The sky was lightening as the sun started to rise, dark blue mingling with red and orange.

They were nearly out of the forest.

But then Itachi stopped sharply on a branch and held his hand up. Sakura stopped next to him, adrenaline still racing through her body from the long run.

When he put the kunai to her throat and covered her mouth with his other hand, she knew it was bad.

He turned them both so that they were facing the way they came. Sakura's hands were clawing at the arm around her neck, her eyes wide in fear.

Perhaps it was because Sakura was so obviously a hostage and in danger, but the next person to come after them chose to merely step out of the shadows of the branch opposite them instead of taking advantage of their hidden location to attack.

Mitarashi Anko stepped forward, tossing away a used dango stick. Her light eyes were narrowed, the only sign of the anger she must be feeling.

A small dog stood at Anko's feet. Pakkun, Kakashi's summoning dog.

"Thanks, mutt," Anko said, never once taking her eyes off of Itachi's face, staring hard at the area below his left eye, "Go back and let Kakashi know what's going on."

Pakkun turned grave eyes on Sakura. She had met the little pug once, when looking for Sasuke and Gaara. It seemed even her sensei's dog summoning pitied her.

It might have been that what caused tears to slowly trickle down her cheeks.

Anko's jaw clenched, almost unnoticeably.

Pakkun took off, dashing back in the direction that they had come from.

Anko raised her hand. Snakes began to slither out of her sleeve, each one equipped with sharp fangs and venom.

"I'll give you a chance to let her go," She said viciously, the snakes' scales glinting in the morning light, "I might even give you a two minute head start before I come after you."

Sakura scrabbled weakly at the hand covering her mouth. Taking the hint, Itachi removed the hand and the kunai. He even stepped away from her, presumably to placate Anko.

Anko looked like she couldn't believe her luck. She waved her hand to Sakura, clearly telling her to come over quickly.

Sakura's mouth twisted into a bitter grimace and she shook her head.

Anko looked confused and hurt.

"Anko," Sakura said tearfully, feeling awful that it was turning out this way. Anko wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be back in Konoha, maybe a bit upset that Sakura was gone, not standing right before her looking so  _hurt,_ "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't apologise." Anko said sharply, "It isn't your fault."

She gave Itachi a venomous glare dripping with hatred and barely contained violence.

"It is." Sakura said, a little more calm now, "It is my fault. You have to listen to me, Anko. You were the only person who really believed me, completely, and never blamed me. You have no idea how important you are to me, and how much I value our friendship. But this… isn't a kidnapping. I left willingly."

Anko didn't immediately attack her or start ranting about how stupid she was. She didn't even frown. She just listened.

"Itachi isn't a missing nin. Not really. It might be above your pay grade so you probably don't know, but the Council gave him a mission when he was thirteen. The Uchiha clan were planning to overthrow Konoha. Itachi didn't want to have any part in it. His mission was to kill them all to prevent an outbreak of civil war. He did. Then he joined Akatsuki to keep an eye on them. Anko, he's a spy, for  _Konoha,_  he's on our side…" Sakura trailed off, aware that she'd shown her happiness that Itachi wasn't evil too much, judging by the pleased smile on his face.

Anko rubbed the back of her neck, just like Sasuke used to. Sakura ached at the sight of the familiar gesture.

"After Sasuke…" Sakura couldn't finish the sentence, "Well, after… Itachi came and explained it all to me. I just can't stay in Konoha, Anko. They all hate me there. I can't live in a village that thinks I betrayed it. I just can't. This was my choice. Maybe it's a mistake. Maybe, somehow, Itachi's made up the whole thing and he'll kill me. But it's my choice. I can't stay there any longer."

Anko's mouth twitched upwards into a nasty smirk.

"Sandaime wouldn't have wanted the Uchiha dead. Must have been those stuffy, uptight Council members." She mused, chewing on her thumb thoughtfully.

Sakura blinked.

"You – you believe me?" Sakura said disbelievingly.

"I believe you," Anko grinned, "Weasel-kun's reasons for killing his family were always a little suspect. Always did think it was a little too neat, the Uchiha all being wiped out in one convenient attack. But, Sakura, don't talk about dying so easily. All of this melodramatic bullshit, 'I don't wanna live there, so I'm gonna go live with this mass murderer even if he kills me…' I don't approve. He won't kill you. Know why?"

For the first time, Anko looked straight into Itachi's blood red eyes, without hesitation or the slightest trace of fear.

She tapped her curse seal, "There are some things the prodigious Uchiha can't copy, know what I mean? For instance…"

Before Sakura could blink, Anko was on their branch and had her snakes inches away from Itachi's face, every one of them hissing at him.

"If you fucking touch Sakura, if you make her cry, feel bad, upset her in anyway… I'll disembowel you. Slooooowly," She added with a bloodthirsty grin, "If you injure her, make her break a nail or break a limb, if you kill her," She suddenly became serious, smirk being replaced by a grim, tight frown, "I will  _end_  you."

Looking up at her friend, wearing the most serious expression she'd ever seen, her chakra burning, layers of Orochimaru's toxic influence leaking into her aura, Sakura completely believed that she would.

"Anko-san," Itachi started to say, ignoring the snapping jaws of six snakes inches from his nose, "As difficult as it might be to believe, I would never hurt Sakura."

Anko's lip curled, "A fine job you've done of that. They found her lying in a pool of her own vomit, you know? Nice job, there. Mental torture. I guess you must have made it painless, hm?"

Itachi barely flinched, but it was enough.

"Nah, I didn't think so. Guess what, buddy? Sakura's got some pretty powerful friends. The Hokage, for example, wants to wear your entrails as a pretty necklace after the stunt you just pulled, kidnapping Sakura from right under her nose. Kakashi, her  _real_  sensei, you know, the one who was always there for her? He's being forcibly held back from coming for you, did you know? Seemed to think he was too close to objectively get the mission done. Strange. Naruto, the kyuubi brat. Great kid, reminds me of myself somehow. He will  _destroy_  you if Sakura ends up hurt or dead. Ooh, so many causes of death, so little time…" Anko smiled gleefully.

Itachi's face was impassive, but Sakura got the feeling that he was maybe impressed, or slightly intimidated. At any rate, it was pretty amazing to see Anko, her best friend, stand up to  _Uchiha Itachi_ , the man who had pretty much played the villain of Sakura's life. Anko had known exactly how frightened Sakura was of him. She knew how much of a prodigy he was. The mass graves her generation had been forced to dig for the Uchiha must have made an impression.

And yet, there she was, threatening him on Sakura's behalf.

"Thank you, Anko." Sakura said, smiling.

Anko looked down at her for a few long moments before ruffling her hair playfully.

"Don't get yourself killed, kid." Anko said gruffly, looking as though she was holding back some strong emotion.

After a moment of indecision, she took off her coat and draped it around Sakura's smaller frame.

At the younger girl's questioning look, she waved her hands, flustered, "You always get cold easily."

Itachi had immediately stared at an overhead branch the moment Anko's coat came off and she became indecently attired.

"I'll get another coat," Anko said, "Maybe a black one? Hehe, I'll look like Ibiki…!"

Sakura stumbled forward and nearly tackled Anko in a hug, breaking down into sobs. Leaving Anko and the others had been hard when she hadn't had to say goodbye, now it felt like she was splitting in two.

Anko silently put her hand on Sakura's head. Sakura got the feeling that Anko was glaring,  _hard_ , at Itachi as she hugged Sakura back.

"You're my best friend." Sakura mumbled weepily, "I'll miss you."

Anko was quiet.

"Same here." She muttered.

Itachi turned away to give them privacy, inwardly envious of this brash, loud-mouthed woman who had clearly taken his place in his absence. Sakura obviously trusted her completely. Unlike him. This Sakura was the old Sakura he missed. The kind, caring young girl. The only Sakura he knew now was the angry, cold shinobi who had been left in her place. This Anko woman could bring out Sakura's best qualities, it seemed.

He disliked no longer having the ability to make Sakura smile.

xxxxxxxx

The hotel they checked in at (under false names, naturally) was apparently a regular haunt for Akatsuki members. According to Itachi, they were still in the Land of Fire, but Konoha was a long way away.

Sakura slid down the wall and sat on the wooden floor, looking down at her lap.

This was it.

She was on the run.

At least now she wasn't 'Haruno Sakura, traitor.'

She was just a victim of kidnap.

The thought of Tsunade panicking over her disappearance and maybe realising she had judged Sakura unfairly was strangely gratifying.

But the thought of her family and friends being distraught soon wiped the smile off her face.

Itachi took off his cloak and laid it on his bed. He'd decided it would be safer if they shared the room, just in case Konoha shinobi somehow whisked her away in the middle of the night.

"Are you alright?" He inquired, looking concerned.

Sakura brought her knees up to her chin and sighed, "No. I'm tired. I've just betrayed everyone, for real this time. If they knew what I'd done…"

Itachi crossed the room in seconds, taking long strides to get to her.

He knelt down in front of her and stared into her eyes. Sakura registered how comforting it felt to have her sensei look at her with his normal dark eyes, not the spinning Sharingan that infected her dreams.

"You have not betrayed anyone," He said calmly, "Don't feel guilty. I am not a criminal, and neither are you. It's a bad situation, true, but it can't be helped."

Sakura nodded stiffly, mouth quivering as she tried to hold back tears. Damn, she'd got in the habit of hiding everything she felt and now she didn't have to she couldn't let it go.

A tapping sound drew her attention.

Itachi looked around furtively before opening the window.

Raban flew in.

He looked at Sakura and landed on her knee. His keen eyes swept over the red welts on her skin from the chakra strings and the suppressed tears in her eyes.

He clicked his beak and let his wing settle on her bare knee, the feathery touch almost like being patted comfortingly.

"It's very good to see you again, Sakura." The old bird said fondly, "The whole nasty business left us all shocked… I couldn't see you very often, because you became so good at hiding from us crows, but when I did, you always looked sad. I regret what happened very much so."

"As do I." Itachi added, sitting on his bed.

After four years of avoiding crows, being revolted at the thought of speaking to one of them again, scaring them away in anger, Sakura reached out hesitantly and touched Raban's soft head.

Itachi closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry for throwing kunai at all of the crows that came looking for me." Sakura said sincerely.

"It was good dodging practice for them." Raban winked.

Sakura gave a weak smile.

Raban's cheer seemed to fade, "You've grown, Sakura. Not as happily as you should have, but you survived the hard years. That alone is impressive."

She gave a real smile at that, "Thank you."

"We missed you," Raban said pointedly, looking at Itachi, "Some more than others."

Itachi ignored the bird and didn't open his eyes. He seemed to be recovering from some exertion, as his breathing was fast and irregular.

Raban looked as troubled as a crow could at Itachi's lack of reaction.

"Itachi-sama?" Raban flew to his master's side, fluttering in concern.

"I am fine, Raban." Itachi reassured him, though he still didn't open his eyes.

Sakura felt a flicker of something close to concern. She wasn't sure if she was capable of feeling worried for Itachi just yet, as mere hours ago she had wished him dead with all her might and Sasuke alive in his place.

She looked at him, lying on his back with a hand flung over his eyes, Raban sitting on his chest.

How complicated everything had become.

She wished they were how they used to be.

A beaming, happy child and a serious yet kind teenager.

They had come so far over the years, and drifted so far apart.

Now they were back together, albeit no longer sensei and student, time would tell if they could ever get that friendship back.

Looking at him now and feeling that familiar hatred churn in her gut, she didn't think it was possible.

Itachi opened one aching eye and glanced at the pink-haired girl sitting on the floor looking out the window, feeling his chest tighten at the mere sight of her there, draped in that overcoat.


	17. Healing Wounds and Open Windows

Itachi watched Raban fly away to scout with a heavy heart. Raban understood Sakura; they hadn't spoken during the period Sakura had thought them all traitors, so she bore him no ill will or resentment. She saved all of that for Itachi. But Raban had chatted with her like it was any other day, complimenting her new skills and beauty, laughing at her embarrassment, tenderly wishing her a good night's sleep… things that Itachi could never do himself. Not since Sakura's hatred for him had formed. There was no place for him in her heart.

If only he had explained everything that day in the Nara Forest, before Sakura slit his throat. But he couldn't… at that point; he still cared about his mission, about keeping his true loyalty secret. After Sasuke died, he had felt his desperation to keep his secrets fade. It no longer seemed to matter. He had failed to protect his little brother. What did it matter if he told Sakura the truth?

He put a hand to his forehead, sighing. Sakura lay on her bed, tucked under the covers. Her face looked as sweet and innocent as she had in youth. But she was no longer a child. Under the covers lurked hard muscle, proof of the years of training she had committed herself to in her determination to kill him.

What was he doing?

How could he have imagined he and Sakura could live out this pitiful existence, hiding in hotels? It was only a matter of time before Pain requested he complete another mission, and Sakura would not want him to. It was one of the first times in his life that he could not see the path that lay ahead, what would happen if he chose to remain with Sakura, or if he left her.

He knew deep down he could never abandon her again. He had seen her face after his betrayal was revealed. It had not been a pleasant sight, and had lingered in his nightmares even years after.

His poor brother… the careless gossip of the merchants, two men idly chatting about the latest criminal brought to justice by the Hokage, a criminal who happened to be Itachi's own little brother. The knowledge that his brother had been executed cut him deeply like a fatal wound. He was certainly as pained as a dying man surely would be, the agony of his last kin dying alone, a criminal in the eyes of his own village, the village Itachi had given everything up for…

Though Sasuke had not been alone. Sakura had said she had been with him until the last moment. That at least must have been a comfort for Sasuke, in the end.

God, he hoped Sasuke hadn't just been putting on a brave face. Even though Sasuke's last words were a curse against Itachi's own life, he bore him no ill will for that. He just wished Sasuke could have redeemed himself, in killing Itachi.

Sakura turned in her sleep, frowning and clutching the covers tightly.

Itachi heard footsteps approach, careful, light footsteps of a shinobi. In an instant he was at the door, kunai out of its holster, until he recognised the sound of the footsteps and reluctantly lowered his weapon.

There was a quiet knock at the door.

Itachi flared his chakra so sharply that Sakura grumbled in her sleep, and Kisame opened the door with his own key.

"Hey," The shark-like man grunted, slipping through the door, "You here too, huh? Guess I'm –" He broke off, looking at Sakura.

Itachi had no expression at all, yet he knew somehow that Kisame could sense his embarrassment.

"You fucking psycho." Kisame chortled, "You kidnapped that brat?"

Itachi's shoulder slid up and down slightly in a tiny shrug.

Kisame showed his teeth, "She came willingly?"

Itachi sat down on his bed, avoiding Kisame's hard stare, "She could be useful, Kisame." He said quietly.

Kisame's humour seemed to die down, "You broke her mind. I watched you. You were gonna kill her. Why would she want to come with you?"

Itachi pulled his hair out of his usual ponytail and ran his fingers through it till it became neater, "I spent six years on her," He sighed, "Whether she likes it or not, she's loyal to me. It wasn't hard to persuade her to betray her village, not after how they treated her."

Kisame looked intrigued, casting the sleeping Sakura a glance, "What did they do to her?" He asked, taking the bait that Itachi had so carefully laid.

So he told him. Everything. About how they had ostracised her, how she'd lost friends and allies, how she had been tortured aged twelve, how she had been treated with suspicion, hatred and anger, how she had been imprisoned, left to rot in a cell as a child for sixteen days, how her career would be forever capped at chuunin, how she was under constant supervision, how she had been forced to watch her teammate be executed in front of her and tied down painfully for hours and hours after breaking down in public…

Kisame listened with a little frown on his face, rubbing his scaly chin. When Itachi had finished he smirked wryly, "I can see why you were the lesser of two evils. Can we trust her?"

"Yes." Itachi said without hesitation, "She was always a very loyal subordinate. I plan to continue her training."

"You gonna inform Leader-sama, or will I?" Kisame asked.

"I will," Itachi said calmly, "He will be pleased we've found another dependable follower."

Kisame let go of his tension and grinned widely, "Let's welcome her to the scary family."

Itachi sighed again, but knew Kisame wouldn't give up until he got the chance to banter with Sakura. He liked to assess whether a new acquaintance was wittier than him within seconds of meeting them.

Itachi cautiously approached Sakura's bed, stretching a hand out to touch her shoulder lightly.

"Wake up." He said softly.

Sakura's eyes fluttered open and immediately fixed upon his face. She tried to lunge for his throat instinctively, but Itachi was too quick for her and grabbed her, pinning her to the bed as she struggled.

"It's me, Sakura." He said firmly, aware Kisame was growing more and more amused as Sakura tried her best to rip his throat out.

She suddenly went limp in his arms as she remembered what had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

"Itachi?" She said hoarsely, "Sorry."

He let her go gently, avoiding Kisame's stare.

"Brat!" He said cheerfully, "Remember me?"

Sakura paled at the sight of him, dislodging the pillows in her attempt to move away from him.

"Now don't be like that!" Kisame pulled at his cloak, "We're like family now. And I might take offence, if you don't straighten out those manners of yours."

"Kisame." Itachi snapped.

His teammate looked surprised, "Just teasing. Don't worry brat, Samehada won't be shaving you any time soon."

Sakura slipped out of the bed, her eyes never leaving Kisame, her spine as stiff as a poker, radiating tension. She was wearing a white slip and dressing gown the hotel had provided, and pulled her gown to her more closely as Kisame's grin turned into a leer.

"Family?" Sakura asked cautiously.

"Akatsuki." Kisame confirmed her fears, "After we let Pain-sama know you've turned, he'll sort some things out, get you a new identity, maybe a cloak if you're good (or bad, depending how you look at it), and he'll add your name to the mission list. Be prepared, brat, cause you've –"

"No more, Kisame," Itachi rasped, "I have a headache."

His head did hurt, yes, but it was the look on Sakura's face that made him intervene. She looked horrified.

Unfortunately, while it did distract Kisame, it just reminded him of something else Itachi didn't want him to talk about, "You still feeling rough?" He asked, eyes narrowed. Kisame was fully aware Itachi was dying, but they never spoke of it outright. Kisame liked to act as though Itachi was just getting over a particularly violent cold.

Sakura frowned.

"It's just a headache." Itachi said dismissively, walking into the bathroom to place a cold cloth on his forehead.

"I can heal that," Sakura said, her hands already beginning to glow green, "Come here."

"A healer too?" Kisame raised his eyebrows, his grin growing a little toothier, "We hit the jackpot with this little one."

"I don't need healing," Itachi said hastily. With the other healer, it had taken them at least fifteen minutes to identify the problem and discover his illness, but Sakura was second only to the Hokage herself in terms of medical ninjutsu. There was every possibility she would find out just by touching his head, "Do not waste your chakra on trivial aches and pains."

But he'd forgotten how stubborn Sakura could be. She followed him into the bathroom, ignoring Kisame's wolf whistle, and picked up the cloth for him.

"Sakura," Itachi started to say, frustrated, but she cut him off by reaching forward to brush his aching, hot forehead with the wet cloth. He fell silent. She was unbearably close, her long eyelashes clearly visible, her forehead creased in a frown, her mouth pursed as she concentrated on the task at hand.

She held the soothing cloth up to his head for only a second before taking it away. She gave him a funny look, and slowly lifted her hand to touch him. He intercepted her quickly, grabbing her wrist. She broke his loose grip without hesitation and touched his dripping wet forehead.

Her chakra flickered into visibility, cool and calming. The darkness that had blighted it was still there, curling about the edges of her aura, but her own presence was just as gentle and caring as it had been when she was younger.

The aching in his forehead slowly receded, like knots being untied carefully. She still had red welts on her skin, he could see as her shoulder came into view, her sleeve slipping, and yet she was healing him first, like he was a priority. It made him feel oddly warm.

Then her breath caught and her hand jerked back.

Itachi closed his eyes, resigned. She had found the disease within seconds, she now knew he was dying…

"Hey," She whispered, her voice sounding harsh in the silent bathroom, "Open your eyes."

He followed her command unthinkingly.

She let her finger drift around his face, judging his vision. He clearly failed, given that the finger had drifted into the grey areas that used to be his peripheral vision.

She scowled furiously, "You didn't tell me you were going blind!"

 _That_  was what she had found, not the disease. He breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't ready for the speech he was going to give her about living without him somewhere else after his death. He didn't think she'd appreciate him abandoning her again, even if death was the cause, not betrayal.

"Brat, c'mere," Kisame suddenly called, making Sakura jump, "There's a crow asking for ya."

Sakura chewed her lip, looking deeply into his eyes, so deeply his breath hitched, wondering if perhaps she saw something that he saw in her –

She swiped a glowing hand over his eyes, assessing the damage.

She blinked, clearly processing what she had found. Then, she looked up at him and scowled again, "I thought we weren't going to keep secrets anymore. Remember what happened the last time we tried that?"

Itachi looked away. Was she always going to bring that up?

"You tell me everything from now on." She demanded, "Everything."

Then she left before he could reply.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura was going through the medical supplies Itachi had bought for her in the village their hotel was situated in. Judging by the little smile on her face, she found his bounty adequate enough.

She picked up a tub of cream and studied it closely, unscrewing the lid and smelling the contents, grimacing.

"Hey, brat." Kisame called. He was sitting at the table with Itachi, lounging back on his chair in a relaxed pose, one hand gripping his steaming mug.

Sakura made no acknowledgment of Kisame's call, calmly and methodically unpacking the medical supplies, counting the rolls of bandages.

Kisame's grin twisted into an annoyed frown, "Oi, brat!"

"I have a name." Sakura said coldly, so coldly that Itachi felt a flicker of unease. The Sakura he had known was not capable of speaking so harshly… and yet, the pleased smile, the careful unpacking, those were things he remembered about her, the pleasure she took in small rewards, the perfection she strived for in every area. Perhaps some parts of her had survived unchanged.

Kisame rolled his eyes. He lowered his voice, "I've forgotten her name," He hissed at Itachi, "What is it?"

"Sakura," She replied without turning around, "And credit me with some hearing, please."

"Sakura, then." Kisame said in tones that made it clear he was just humouring her, "I've a tiny injury. If you –"

"No." Sakura turned around then, and Itachi's heart sank at her expression. She was not smiling or glaring. Her face was completely blank, and he had learned to recognise that this was when she was feeling too much to allow herself to show. What had upset her?

"No?" Kisame scowled, "Why not? You're a bloody medic, I'm in need of medicine, help me out!"

"When we first met you asked Itachi for permission to kill me," Sakura said coolly, "You took pleasure in the fact that Itachi had been using me, and intended to kill me. When I lay unconscious, you attempted to take me with you and Itachi. Did you believe I would forget? Or did you simply forget yourself?" Her green eyes flickered over to Itachi's tense face, "I may have turned on my village," She forced herself to say, sticking to their story, "But I am still no friend of missing nins. Heal yourself."

The silence in the little hotel room was deafening.

Kisame kept glancing from her to Itachi and back, incredulous, "I don't know if you've noticed, brat, but not only are you living with a missing nin, you're in a missing nin organisation, you get missing nin visitors… you  _are_  a missing nin."

Sakura's face trembled; her pretence at being completely calm was seconds from being shattered. Kisame quirked an eyebrow, her reaction to his teasing clearly intriguing him.

Itachi was shaking his head subtly, but Sakura clearly either didn't see or care, "I'm not," She insisted, "I'm not a missing nin. I've left my village, but I'm not going to start committing crimes and acting like a traitor… I just wanted to leave peacefully…" She trailed off, her blank expression finally giving way to dejection.

Kisame rubbed his chin, raising an eyebrow at Itachi as if suggesting he had chosen poorly. He sighed, "Brat, face it. You don't just waltz out of your village in the company of a murderer and hope you can live 'peacefully.' There's no peace in this lifestyle."

Sakura turned away, hiding her face. She looked out of the window. Itachi saw that her shoulders were shaking.

Kisame might have been a cold-hearted murderer with a fondness for mutilation, but he hated feeling helpless, and he was as useless as any other man when it came to a crying woman.

So instead of comforting her, he glared at Itachi, "Why did you take her with you?" He whispered, "She's going to be a fucking liability!"

"I won't," Sakura said softly, "I'll do what you say. I don't have any choice."

That silenced Kisame. He looked uneasy, "Er, good. See that you do…"

"Sakura," Itachi said, "If you do not wish to assist Akatsuki, I will drop you off in the village and leave."

He knew they would both interpret this differently, Sakura would see it as further abandonment and Kisame would assume he would kill her.

Sakura shook her head violently, "No. I'm here now. I've made a commitment. I'm not hurting anyone by helping you. It's fine."

It looked as though she was spiralling further into denial, and it would do no good to try to pull her out of it.

"Good," He said, watching her closely for signs of distress, though with Sakura it was hard to tell, "I would hate to have wasted time collecting you."

Sakura's eyes slid away, but not before he saw them tear up.

It killed him to treat her like this, but Kisame would expect him to see her as just another pawn, a subordinate to train up and use as required.

But when he met Kisame's gaze, he did not see the entertained grin he had expected, but a speculative frown. Whatever it was Kisame was musing on, he didn't look pleased by the conclusions he had drawn.

Sakura coughed and held out a hand without looking at either of them, "Kisame-san, your injury?"

Kisame was startled into good manners, "Just Kisame will do." He said almost courteously, "It's just a little cut."

He pulled up his sleeve to reveal a deep gash in the flesh of his arm. Though Sakura gave him a severe look for downplaying the seriousness of his injury, Itachi knew Kisame would truly view it as a trifling irritation, not a potential threat due to blood loss or infection. He'd had a lot of worry over his cavalier partner over the years.

She assessed the wound, noting the blood had dried and the gash seemed to already be healing. She sighed and gestured for Kisame to sit on the bed.

He did so, sweeping his cloak away to more easily seat himself.

Sakura held his arm very gently, and began to clean the wound with antiseptic. Kisame didn't flinch at the sharp sting, just sat there and stared blankly out of the window. Itachi knew if it were him, he would have taken the opportunity to stare at Sakura, something he seemed to be doing more and more lately. He quashed the rising jealousy that Kisame was the one being handled so tenderly, that Sakura was treating him more gently and kindly than she had treated Itachi in years…

He wondered Sakura knew what this meant. Kisame couldn't have known whether she'd choose to treat the wound or heal it, and if it had needed healing he would have let her do it, putting himself at risk. Kisame trusted Sakura enough to let her metaphorically hold a kunai to his throat, just as Itachi had done.

Either Sakura simply seemed unusually trustworthy or, more likely, Kisame trusted Itachi's judgement.

Either way, it was a quiet moment, sitting in the white room with the sun rising, the first tentative rays of sunlight piercing the night sky, the only sound the hiss of the bandages that Sakura was wrapping around Kisame's arm.

"I'm finished." Sakura said, patting the clean, white bandage to make sure it was secure, "Don't scratch it or agitate the wound in any way."

Kisame inspected her handiwork without his usual shit-eating grin, the quiet of room affecting his humour. He got up from the bed and pulled his sleeve back down, his expression sober.

"Thanks, brat." He said, going back to sit down next to Itachi without a backwards glance, "Oh, and that Hokage of yours really knows her stuff, if she's the one who taught you."

What a backwards compliment… Itachi couldn't keep his smile off his face. Only Kisame. He was truly thankful she had bothered to see to his wound despite what had happened in the past, but he could never compliment someone to their face. Not unless he was about to decapitate them, of course.

Sakura paused, measuring the comment in her mind. A tiny, hesitant smile crossed her lips, "She does," She agreed, "She's the most talented medic in history."

"So far." Itachi corrected her, gazing at her intensely.

She flushed, her smile disappearing. So, Kisame could compliment her but not him? She was a complex little creature, wasn't she? How was he supposed to do this, manoeuvre around all of the obstacles in their relationship, keep her happy, keep her safe and make sure she was fine on her own before he died?

Kisame yawned, "I don't know about you two, but I certainly need my beauty sleep. I'll be in my room if you need me."

He addressed his last comment to the two of them, and Itachi realised how easily Sakura had been accepted into the Akatsuki fold. If he had simply taken her as a child and raised her there, would her life have been better? Not as painful as it had turned out to be? Perhaps, but then she might have grown to be a monster. Akatsuki had a particular talent for growing monsters out of decent people. Only Orochimaru could do it better.

Kisame left the room and Sakura shut her medical box, tidying up after herself, picking up bits of bandages and thread.

Itachi sat back in his chair and watched her covertly. She was a woman now, the ex-apprentice to the Hokage herself, an ex-chuunin of Konoha and, however unimportant, she was now a part of Akatsuki. It was time to stop looking for the little girl he had lost four years ago and to begin looking at the grown woman who had clawed her way through life on nothing but determination and hatred.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura turned over in her bed, the pillow cool against her cheek. There was a pleasant breeze flowing through the room, Itachi must have gotten too hot and opened the window. Or perhaps Raban had come back.

Excited at the thought of seeing her old friend again, she sat up in bed, Anko's coat falling off her as she moved.

It was dark, she must have slept through the day.

She slipped out of bed, bare feet feeling the cold more sharply than the rest of her. She couldn't hear Itachi murmuring or Raban's familiar croak.

The window was indeed open. She went over to close it and stopped dead.

There, on the floor, underneath the window, was Itachi.

It was like an ice-cold hand had squeezed her heart. In that instant, she looked at his body in disbelief, because no one could kill Itachi, he was  _Itachi_  for God's sake, capable of eradicating entire clans overnight! But she felt it somewhere deep inside her, perhaps her medic nature or something deeper, an inherent instinct, that Itachi was dead.

She dropped to her knees and pulled herself towards him, operating mechanically now, too hurt, too shocked to think clearly.

Her shaking hands touched his chest, rolling him over gently.

Her heart leapt.

He was breathing.

A heartbeat, albeit weak and irregular, but  _there_!

Not dead, but dying.

She was mouthing all of the truly foul swear words Kakashi had taught her when drunk, pulse racing, so terrified that she could do nothing but let her chakra flow and take over.

She felt it the moment her chakra-laden hands touched his chest with a sizzle.

A blight, something dark and twisted, lodged in his lungs, heart, God… it was everywhere, in every organ, and it had been here for so long…

A disease. By the malignant feel of it, terminal.

He was dying.

Right underneath her hands, dying.

She could feel him lose strength with every laboured breath he took.

Her eyes flared, her hands glowed green.

She had only just got Itachi back.

She had just lost Sasuke.

She would not lose Itachi too.


	18. Fixing Hearts and Breaking Boundaries

He was sweating. His skin was white, pure white, the kind of pallor usually only reserved for corpses, his lips tinged blue. His mouth gaped open and his body shuddered as he struggled to pull in a breath.

A blockage in his lungs.

Sakura knelt down next to him and checked her chakra reserves. Plenty to spare for a serious operation, but certainly not for a revival. If it came down to it, the only thing that could save Itachi was for her to give up all of her remaining chakra and life force. She wasn't certain that she was so willing to die for Itachi yet, but trying desperately to save him was a good start in their fragile renewed friendship.

Not wanting to risk turning him over to access his lungs and damaging something important, she decided to do it the hard way, through the chest, the muscle, the ribcage and every organ in the way.

Closing her eyes, she sifted through Itachi's inner body, trembling slightly at the mental exertion that seeking out the lungs through all of the obstacles brought her. Her fingers twitched over his chest as she reached the blockage in his lungs.

She focused, sweeping her hair out of her face and breathing slowly, her hands glowing, casting a sickly green glow over Itachi's unconscious face. The disease was twisting in his lungs, coating the surface, pulling at every weak breath Itachi fought to breathe.

She began the tedious job of figuring out what to do to fix the problem, prodding and pulling cautiously with her chakra, until she finally found that untwisting the black legions was working. It was like untying knots with your eyes closed. Each knot she untied dissipated into molecules that would be broken down by Itachi's body's defences – because while she was here she might as well fix his shoddy immune system – leaving weakened tissue behind.

Her hands were shaking by the time she finished unravelling the blight corrupting Itachi's lungs, but he drew a fresh new breath, no longer a death-rattle but a clean, unmarred sound, the kind of breath Itachi likely hadn't felt in a long time, judging by the extent of the damage to his lungs.

She could do clean-up in his lungs later on. Now for the second big problem.

His heart.

The corruption swelled fattest around his heart, curling possessively around the vital organ, suppressing every beat, making the blood flow sluggish.

Sakura felt sweat roll down her face and ignored it. She had to concentrate. If she didn't… Well, she'd lose him. And now, her chakra spreading about his heart, she realised she couldn't lose him. Not like Sasuke. Like it or not, she cared about him and his death would destroy her, damn him.

You'll be the one to ruin me, she told him silently.

Then she lined up a chakra scalpel to slide harmlessly through the skin, bone and sinew until it reached the corruption circling the heart. She gritted her teeth –  _God_  this was hard – and began to carefully, slowly, slice away the disease in pieces without even grazing the heart. She had only performed this level of surgery once before, and the patient had died. That couldn't happen today.

His heart pumped limply as she operated, bits of the disease being carved away with expert precision to be absorbed by the blood flow. Chakra flashed across tendrils of the corruption, slicing and hacking away until the heart was almost completely free.

Sakura opened one eye. Itachi's face was growing blue. Fuck.

She  _poured_  chakra over the heart, pinpointing the disease and siphoning off the disease's grip bit by bit, excruciatingly slowly.

Itachi gave a sigh as his heart broke free of the blight surrounding it.

Sakura broke away from the chakra contact and leant against the doorframe behind her, panting heavily, her head lolling backwards as though disconnected from her neck. She was so, so exhausted…

But Itachi moaned painfully and she wearily crawled back over to him, placing her hands on his head.

Oh thank God, his brain was unaffected.

But his other organs, on the other hand… most of them had at least some of the corruption tainting them, but the kidneys and pancreas were unaffected. It seemed this disease didn't need to take over every organ in order to kill its victim.

The sun was threatening to rise, bits of orange and red breaking over the horizon, splitting up the dark blue sky and signalling that morning was due.

How long had she spent on this already?

She had never felt so tired. Not even when she was strapped down to that bed and the pain kept her awake.

It was worse than sleep loss; it was the chakra deprivation that made her droop almost painfully.

Still, she pressed on, feeling that familiar determination fuelling her as she saw to the rest of the disease.

She was just cleaning out Itachi's poor lungs to help him breathe better when Kisame burst in.

He took one look at her, hands spread over Itachi's chest, him lying there unconscious, and flew at her.

She was far too exhausted to move, to defend herself, and felt herself freeze as a kunai flashed in front of her face.

Itachi's hand flew up, catching the kunai, letting it bite into his fingers. His eyes opened and he took a deep breath.

He stopped, his face twisted in confusion.

He breathed again cautiously, hardly daring to believe it…

Kisame's bloodlust waned as he realised Itachi wasn't dead. He dropped down next to Sakura, staring intently into Itachi's face.

"I can breathe." Itachi said wonderingly, his face moving all around as though searching for something.

Sakura was hit by an all-consuming relief that Itachi was  _OK_ , he wasn't going to die, he was fine…

But then Kisame put a hand in front of Itachi's face and waved it. Itachi, sensing something, grabbed Kisame's arm inhumanly fast, but the test had proven what Kisame was looking for.

Itachi's dark eyes were filmed over, leaving them weak and watery.

He was blind.

"Kisame?" Itachi turned his head the wrong way, his voice feeble, "I can't see you. Sakura?"

Kisame leant closer and murmured something comfortingly. Itachi closed his eyes.

"Sakura healed you," Kisame said, marvelling at the realisation that this sixteen year old chuunin had healed what so many medics had stated was terminal every time. Itachi should be dead. Kisame shook his head in disbelief, "She saved your life."

Sakura moved to put a hand on Itachi's but felt herself wobble, her balance shifting suddenly, and with a sickening  _lurch_  the ground moved to meet her as she fell.

She could see Kisame coming towards her, could feel him pick her up off the floor, looking into her face, examining her for traces of illness.

Her eyes slid away from him as she slackened in his grip, feeling faint.

All she could see was the ceiling moving above her as Kisame took her back to bed, telling her to stay awake in that demanding voice of his.

She ignored him anyway and felt herself slip into unconsciousness, her last thought hoping Itachi was alright.

xxxxxxxx

Water was being poured down her throat. She spluttered, sitting up abruptly, feeling the water spill out of her mouth and down her front. She blinked, licking her lips, becoming aware for the first time that her mouth was bone dry.

Kisame sat at her bedside, a jug of water in his hands, his expression annoyed.

"Messy brat," He scowled without any real heat behind it, offering a drink again, "Don't go spilling this again. Do you know how hard it was to find a medic who wouldn't talk in this godforsaken village? He said you were fine, it was just exhaustion, but he had no idea what to do with Itachi."

Sakura looked across the room at Itachi's bed, expecting to see him lying there comatose, but instead she saw him sitting in a chair facing the open window, his hair floating slightly on the breeze that was blowing into the room.

"How is he?" She asked, hardly daring to hope, not after seeing him lying so cold and so still, his eyes blinded. Her voice was cracked and hoarse.

Kisame made a face, "He's been a fucking mute. Wouldn't leave your side, held your hand for hours till the medic threatened to sedate him to force him to rest." Despite his caustic tone, Sakura got the feeling he was more worried than he let on.

Itachi could hear them, that much was obvious in the way his head was slightly turned in their direction. The sky outside was deep blue and cloudless, the breeze bringing with it the faint smell of flowers' perfume.

"Morning, Sakura." He called, still staring out into the sky that he could no longer see.

Sakura, ignoring Kisame's frown, got out of her bed easily, pleased to find she felt fine. It had been far too long since she had felt completely healthy. There had always been worry or anxiety, exhaustion or depression plaguing her.

She made her way over to Itachi, sitting in the chair next to his.

"Kisame put that chair there to cheer me up when I worried you would never wake," Itachi said quietly, not looking up as she noisily sat down, the chair legs clattering on the floor, "He said you would sit there the moment you woke up, wanting to know if I'm alright."

" _Are_ you alright?" Sakura asked gently.

A small smile graced his lips, "I guess he was right. I am fine. I'll cope."

Sakura couldn't imagine him coping with this. For most of his life, he'd relied on his Sharingan to fight, have inhumanly good eyesight, mind control, etc… how do you cope with losing all of that?

"How long have you been keeping the fact that you are dying from me?" Sakura tried to keep the anger out of her voice but she kept picturing what would have happened had the breeze from the window not woken her up. She would have found Itachi dead in the morning and she would have been left with nothing. Go back to Konoha, her family and her friends, and be put in prison for life. Travel on her own, trying desperately to find somewhere… that sounded too sad for her. Too lonely.

He must have known he was dying. And yet, he took her with him anyway? Did he even make plans for her after his inevitable death?

Itachi tilted his head back, his expression serious, "It never seemed important enough to bring up. I was always going to be killed by Sasuke's hand, in my mind; I never planned any further than that."

"But you took me with you, knowing you would die soon!"

"I didn't know anything. I was…" He swallowed, his eyes watering, tears or a sign of his blindness, it was impossible to tell, "Sasuke died. My only concern was getting you away from the place where he had been killed. I only thought of keeping you safe. I worried about you for all of these years, and the thought of you dying as well, because of my influence, just like Sasuke, I couldn't…"

Sakura folded her arms and stared out of the window, seeing what Itachi couldn't. It was a fairly hot day and her wooden chair was in a patch of sunlight.

"Stop it," She said softly. He looked startled, opened his mouth to question her, "Just stop it. Stop being worried. Stop taking drastic measures to make sure I'm safe. Stop acting like I'm in a constant state of danger. Stop acting like I'm the helpless, useless twelve year old you left behind. I appreciate that you care, more than you'll ever know, but I will be seventeen soon. I've lived this long. I don't want you to feel like you need to be worried about me every minute of every day."

Itachi was silent.

Sakura watched a blackbird picking at the ground below their hotel window, sharp beak flashing in the sun, cocking its head and looking around in the grass,

"I'm still dying, Sakura." Itachi extended his wrists out to the open window, palms outward so he could feel the breeze, "I've been dying for so long now. I'm tired of living like a dead man. I'm tired of all of this. I couldn't believe it when Kisame told me you'd healed the disease. I still can't. I know inside, it's still there, lying dormant."

Sakura placed a hand on his chest, startling a small intake of breath from him. Chakra pulsed in her hand.

His heart was beating steadily, pumping blood regularly. The lungs were clean and no longer shrivelled up beneath the twisted corruption. His blood had absorbed the remaining diseased cells that Sakura's chakra had chased down.

She took her hand away, brushing her hair out of her face, squinting in the sunlight.

"I hate to tell you this, Itachi, but you aren't dying anymore." She couldn't fight back the grin that burst onto her face, her bare legs trembling as she folded them underneath her.

Itachi didn't move.

"If I monitor your progress for the next few months, I'm pretty sure I'll see the same thing. A healthy body, free of disease." She put a hand on his, feeling him curl his fingers around hers, the warmth of his skin encouraging. He'd always felt so cold before.

"I'm not dying." He said flatly, his blank eyes fixed on the deep blue sky, unseeing.

Sakura squeezed his hand as the first tears trickled down his cheeks and looked away.

He held her hand tightly and pressed his other against his heart, feeling his newly healthy heart beating fiercely, his heartbeat strong and regular like it hadn't been in years. Permanent. Forever.

He was _alive._

"You – are – incredible." He choked out, gripping her hand like a lifeline.

"I try," Sakura said faux-modestly, grinning. The whole operation had been a damn nightmare, one that she spent convincing herself he'd die anyway and the whole thing would have been for nothing. Neither of them had expected to come out of this relatively intact. Sakura had actually thought about life after Itachi whilst cleaning up his lungs and cried a bit, convinced he was going to leave her again.

Like Sasuke.

Kisame had left a while ago without either of them noticing.

Sakura got up and headed to the kitchen, pottering about a bit, looking around, examining the insides of the cupboards and the fridge.

She managed to rustle up some onigiri with seaweed inside it, making a few for later in case dinner (Kisame's job) didn't materialise.

Itachi's hands were on the windowsill when she returned, enjoying the feel of the warm sun.

"Hey," She said, nudging him with her elbow by accident, "I've made some food for you. I'm guessing you've been fasting in my absence?"

Itachi's pained smile and the ravenous growl that emanated from his stomach said it all. God, he really did love to play the martyr, didn't he?

She carefully placed the plate onto his upturned palms before sitting next to him and taking a bite out of her onigiri.

He had guided a mouthful of rice into his mouth, but he froze. Sakura worried that she'd accidently soaked the rice in vinegar again, but he was smiling –

"Seaweed in onigiri," He turned his head to face her, his smile sweet. He looked younger than he had in years, "My favourite. You remembered."

Sakura felt herself blush and was momentarily relieved he couldn't see the red flush on her cheeks, before she chastised herself for being glad about Itachi being blind.

"Well, you know," She shifted awkwardly on her chair, "Good memory."

They ate in silence for a while, but it was peaceful instead of awkward.

Sakura realised that after seeing Itachi almost dead on the floor, all of the bad feelings, the anger, the resentment, the hatred, they'd died down. They were still there, but not prominent. Now, she just focused on enjoying a meal with her long lost sensei. God knows she'd earned it.

After they'd finished, Sakura picked up their plates and rinsed them in the sink, inwardly pleased that Itachi had not only eaten it all, he'd looked very forlorn when she'd told him not to eat anymore for a while.

She sat back in her chair, glancing furtively at Itachi, worried that his superior shinobi skills alerted him whenever someone stared at him, even without his eyes to rely on.

He looked…  _healthy._ And strong. His skin was even lightly tanned from the day sitting in the sun, his muscles prominent under his skin, his white shirt slipping over his shoulder to show part of his chest. For a shinobi of his age, he had very few scars. It must be due to his high skill.

Itachi's eyes were closed and he was resting his chin on his hand, elbow on the arm of the chair.

She got up and knelt in front of him, staring into his face, breathing softly. Had Itachi always been pretty? In all the time she'd known him, she'd thought of him as  _strong_  and  _smart_ and _kind_ , but never attractive… and yet, here she was, suddenly noticing little details.

He had clear, perfect skin. His eyes, whether they were normal, blind or Sharingan-red, were always beautiful. His jaw was strong and his teeth white. He was beautiful.

"Sakura," Itachi's voice broke the silence, making her jump, "Why are you staring at me?"

Stupid superior shinobi skills.

"Oh, I was just thinking about seeing if I could do anything about your eyes!" Sakura lied quickly. She  _had_  intended to examine Itachi's eyes, but that certainly wasn't what she'd been thinking about…

She was rewarded by one of Itachi's special smiles, the sweet, youthful one from earlier. "You don't have to try to fix everything, Sakura. I can cope."

"There's no point leaving it if I can help." Sakura frowned, reaching up to place a hand on both of his closed eyes. She felt his eyelids quivering beneath the light touch of her palms.

Hmmm…

Long term damage. Exacerbated by both the disease and near-constant use of Sharingan.

Optic nerve damage.

Overall, severe, but still reversible.

Sakura bit her lip as she slowly leaked chakra into his nerves, trying to encourage them into working once more. She felt a few of them flash in response. She needed to regenerate the fibre tracks slowly.

Having your eyes suddenly forced into light-converting capability must be painful, but Itachi remained still and quiet as she worked.

She suddenly became aware of how close they were, her kneeling in front of him, face hovering in front of his. A thought came to her unbidden;  _we aren't sensei and student anymore._

Touching his face seemed horribly intimate all of a sudden, and she flushed as she struggled to regain her concentration.

"I-I'll just leave it at that for today," Sakura squeaked, leaning back and withdrawing her hands hastily, "We'll see if your eyesight's improved by tomorrow and I'll continue from then, OK?"

Itachi opened his eyes and blinked rapidly.

His eyes were dark but alight with his usual intensity, no longer filmed over. They looked down and focused on her face, registering the small distance between the two of them.

Sakura couldn't move, she could only stare at Itachi's beautiful face as his eyes flickered around the room.

"It's not perfect, but I can see," Itachi commented, looking around the room. His eyes returned to her upturned face, "I can see you again."

His hand came out and brushed against her cheek.

"I was afraid I'd never see your face again." He said very quietly, eyes locked on hers, breathing rapidly.

Sakura gulped as that pale, soft hand caressed her face.

She smiled lopsidedly, nervous beyond belief for reasons beyond her comprehension.

His face broke out into a smile, "I'm glad I got to see you looking happy again. It's been a long time since you looked at me like that."

She felt the tension dissipate and genuine happiness fuelled her smile this time, prompting him to lean closer.

"I shouldn't…" He bit his lip.

She looked confused and tilted her head in silent question.

He groaned and ran a hand through his hair – Sakura noticed for the first time that it was down, not tied back as usual – not moving away from her despite whatever it was that was bothering him.

"Shouldn't what?" She whispered.

He looked down at her. The light of the day was fading but it was captured in the spark of his eye as leant down even further.

"Do this," He muttered.

Hands encircled the back of her head and pulled her up to meet him.

He kissed her.

Sakura's eyes were wide, his were closed tightly as he pulled her closer against him, rising from his chair to stand, head tilted down to allow for the height difference.

Sakura's mind ground to a halt at the feel of her sensei's lips against hers.

Never in the ten years she had known him had she ever thought this had the slightest possibility of occurring.

Sure, in her youth she'd daydreamed. But then again, she'd had the same, harmless thoughts about Sasuke, Kakashi, even Naruto… Though Kakashi had always looked disturbed by the speculative gleam in her eye as she considered him.

But her sensei… She'd viewed him as a mentor, an ally, a friend… never once had she entertained the thought that he might…  _like her._

Though her shock had caused her to hang limply in his arms, she timidly placed her hands around his waist, unsure of what to do.

The kiss was over before she knew it; Itachi broke away with a sigh, releasing her.

They stood there in the dim light in front of the window, staring at each other in absolute shock.

_What was that?_


	19. Fallen Heroes and Lost Traitors

Sakura stumbled back, away from her old sensei, hands clasped over her mouth, her mind numb. She couldn't process what had just happened; it just didn't seem plausible enough to have been anything but a hallucination or a dream, and yet Itachi stood before her, looking ashamed and slightly embarrassed, his own hand covering his mouth.

She stared at him, aghast, for a few seconds before tearing her gaze away.

"Sakura –" Itachi began to say, his tone subdued.

"No, don't talk!" Sakura said wildly, waving a hand in his direction, not daring to look.

He fell silent.

Since when had he thought of her like that…?

She was first his student, then his enemy. How could he have ever changed his perception of her to something… romantic?

Was that what was going on here? He liked her?

She couldn't wrap her head around the concept of Itachi liking her, so she walked back to her bed and sat down, facing away from him.

Oddly enough, her first instinct had been to slap him, hard. She was glad she hadn't done it though, as slapping a half-blind man, no matter how good a ninja he was, wasn't something she wanted to be capable of doing.

She chewed her lip and started messing up her hair, her mouth a confused scowl.

A few agonising seconds passed with Sakura facing away from Itachi, but feeling his shame as keenly as if it was a tangible object in the room.

"…Why did you do that?" She asked finally, her tone flat. There was not a single drop of curiosity, just confusion. She absolutely hated being confused. How many times would she have to rearrange her perception of Itachi? Was there something about him that forced him to take on different personalities? If she'd been asked at twelve years old whether she thought he would ever look at her as a girl, not a student, she would have laughed until she cried. But now… she didn't know.

She couldn't predict his actions, couldn't judge his personality and couldn't know instinctively who he was and what he would do. She was half-expecting him to reveal a hyperactive personality to rival Naruto next. Wouldn't that be fun.

"I am not so sure of my control over my actions in this case, Sakura," Itachi said formally, his voice growing in volume as he approached from behind, "I never intended to reveal my – my attraction to you. It is weak and unlike me to be ruled by my emotions. I despise myself for it." His tone was matter-of-fact, despite his harsh words.

"Control," Sakura murmured, remembering, "you always placed such value on control. You must have been struggling with your emotions for a while to have lost it like that."

Itachi made an affirmative noise.

"So," She tried to gather her senses, which were lying in stunned heaps on the floor, "You like me."

"So it would seem." Itachi agreed.

 _Excellent,_  was Sakura's first thought to her confusion. And then, when it seemed more slapping was imminent, she leapt up and started fussing about with the box of medicine he'd brought back for her, pulling out some bandages and staring blankly at them.

"Right," She said absently, still staring hard at the bandages, "That's very strange."

"If it helps, I am just as confused by it as you." Itachi offered.

"Oh, am I that unattractive?" Sakura rolled her eyes, accidently meeting his gaze.

His dark eyes were searing in the dim light, the lids half-lowered until all she could see were gleaming slits, "No," He said fervently, "you are not."

Sakura's face glowed with embarrassment, she whirled back around to stare at the bandages some more, "Don't do that!" She hissed, expecting steam to rush from her ears, she was  _that_  flustered.

"Do what?" Itachi asked, sounding almost amused.

"This?" He whispered, arms suddenly circling around her from behind –

\- And she felt her training with Tsunade kick in instantly and broke his loose grip, sliding away from him in one quick, fluid motion, hands coming up in a defensive position.

"That." She said, not amused in the slightest, "Stop it."

Itachi's flicker of amusement died down, "I didn't mean to –"

She put her hands squarely on the white table and casually used it to swing her legs into the air, swiping at his face.

He dodged as if he'd seen it coming years ago and had spent decades preparing for that very moment. He was simply one of the best ninja she'd ever seen in action, he moved like fighting came as easy as breathing to him, dodging was child's play to him.

"Fight me." She demanded.

She flew at him.

She was a flurry of kicks and punches, not merciful despite his near-death experience, knowing it wouldn't be enough to beat him.

He blocked her punches with the sides of his fists, knocking her knees down with his own as she tried to kick out at him, automatically flowing into the teacher-student fighting style they used to practice in, with her giving everything she had and Itachi lazily correcting her stance whilst defending himself.

"This," Sakura declared, panting and glaring at him, "is what we are. Teacher and student. That's what we've always been. We only just got this back, sensei. Don't change everything again."

Itachi looked away first. "Perhaps I am being selfish," He wondered out loud, "But I want more from you."

She threw a punch at his face, "Stop it! It's not funny!"

"Who's laughing?" Itachi grabbed her fist, "I'm being serious."

Her foot sliced through the air, missing his head by a few crucial inches as he ducked.

" _It's not funny!_  It's me, Haruno Sakura, remember? The screw-up, the dead-last, the betrayed, the traitor, the useless! Why the hell would you look at me like that? Why would you like me, Itachi? It's me! No one, and I mean _no one_ , has ever shown interest in me! I've got a temper, I can be cold and serious, and my voice does this weird thing where it sounds empty and emotionless and it freaks people out, I can even be stupid and over-emotional, I'm a messed up freak! My head's all screwed up, I attacked people, citizens who couldn't even defend themselves, when Sasuke, when he – when he  _died_ , I just – I'm… screwed up," She trailed off, eyes sliding away from his shocked face, "Why would anyone want that?"

Itachi's hands gripped her waist and before even her shinobi reflexes could kick in, he was yanking her towards him and their lips met, her mind went blank after realising she was crying and registering the light touch against her mouth.

He pulled away and gripped her shoulders, "I want that!" He insisted fiercely, "I care about you, regardless of what problems you have! I am responsible for the majority of your problems, why would I feel anything but guilt upon realising that? Deep underneath those issues is Sakura, the kind, compassionate, hot-headed, fiery medic nin, the girl who goes beyond the call of duty when it comes to helping people, the girl who survived years of undeserved hatred and still managed to retain her sense of loyalty! That is who I love, Sakura, and that person is  _you_."

Sakura's mouth gaped open.

"Love?" She repeated, feeling his hands release her shoulders as though she'd burnt him.

He smoothed his hair back with one hand and sighed deeply, "Love." He confirmed.

Silence fell between them as Itachi's words sunk in.

_That is who I love, Sakura, and that person is you._

Love.

Sakura wordlessly returned to her bed, the box of medicine in her lap, and began to toy with the bandages between her fingers.

Itachi closed his eyes, the slightly blurry view of Sakura's rigid body disappearing in a flicker of his lids. If only his feelings could be so quickly eradicated.

Sakura's hand drifted up her sleeve and she let her fingertips caress the brand mark, the Uchiha insignia that had long since been burned into her skin.

"Why did you brand me?" She asked quietly, "That wasn't necessary to keep your cover. No one else could see it."

"I didn't want you to abandon my teachings out of defiance and end up dead," He muttered, more subdued now that his confession of love had been ignored, "I also didn't want you to forget me."

"Well, it hurts. I know it's psychosomatic, but I can still feel it burning." She felt the heat coming off the scar, warming her hand.

"…I didn't design it with that in mind."

"Ah," Sakura nodded, laughing at herself, "I figured. It's my doing, then. Maybe I didn't want to forget you either."

xxxxxxxx

Kakashi stood at the monument for fallen heroes and closed his eyes. He wondered sometimes if he was cursed, if every shinobi he befriended was doomed to fall in battle or simply  _fall_ , as Sasuke and Sakura had.

It was raining lightly, the world disappearing into a grey mist, the monument before him streaked with rain and glistening.

He remembered touching the cut chakra strings on Sakura's bed and realising she was gone for good. The Hokage's response had been commendably quick, the moment the alarm had been raised over Sakura's disappearance she sent an Anbu retrieval team and summoned every ninja with ties to Sakura, commanding them to stay where they were. Luckily for Kakashi, Pakkun was fast and Anko was clever, so he had at least felt assured Sakura would be found quickly.

But Anko had returned alone, unharmed but without Sakura, despite Pakkun insisting they'd found her in Itachi's grip.

He couldn't accept that. Anko had been prepared to fight Itachi to the death to save Sakura, and yet it seemed she had left her alone without a fight. That didn't add up.

Kakashi knew the answer, he just didn't want to think about it. Sakura had not been kidnapped, she had left of her volition, and that was why Anko refused to tell him what she had said.

He'd kicked the bed she'd been tied to and had given the Hokage one hell of a tongue lashing over the sorely lacking security in the hospital, and had received a pay cut for his troubles. Gai had been the one to personally enforce his grounding. He hadn't been allowed to leave his apartment for three days when Sakura disappeared, the Hokage being convinced he'd go after his student and get killed.

Gai had made his confinement tolerable by insisting on singing hearty tunes in the morning and exercising noisily  _twenty-four seven_ , all day, every day. Kakashi had been close to murdering the taijutsu specialist close to the end of his imprisonment.

The Hokage and the majority of the village believed that they had been wrongly accusing Sakura all of these years, that she'd never intentionally betrayed them, that she had been kidnapped and assaulted by an obsessive missing nin. The guilt that was now permanently etched on the youthful face of the Hokage was difficult to observe. Every day the woman sunk lower and lower in her chair as she awaited news. Sakura was dead. Sakura had been captured. Sakura was hurt. Sakura was a traitor.

Kakashi knew the truth. It hadn't been difficult to work out. Uchiha Itachi was a very particular type of psychopath, the type that focused on manipulating and scheming, pushing people to their breaking points and beyond. It wasn't hard to believe that Sasuke's death would have driven him to seek Sakura out, perhaps to rub salt in the fresh wound of his brother's execution, perhaps because he was angered that his experiment, the enforced avenger, had been taken from him and had wanted to collect his greatest triumph.

He had broken Sakura so carefully and expertly, and now he wanted to pick up the pieces and fix them up, possibly brainwashing her to be on his side again.

Because she had definitely left of her own accord. Despite the forcibly cut chakra strings, the blood Pakkun had sniffed out, Kakashi knew Sakura had left willingly. Why else would she have asked him to ensure that her reputation survived? She was planning to leave with Itachi even then.

Out of his three-man team, two had turned traitor, one had died, and one had survived with only emotional scars to bear.

What were the odds of two genin on the same team betraying their village? Slim to none. Either Kakashi  _was_  cursed, or it was simply because Itachi had taken a special interest in Team Seven.

Sasuke was his brother. He had shaped his entire psyche, creating his thirst for vengeance, his loneliness that he could never combat with friendship because he had been so obsessed with obtaining revenge. So much so, that he betrayed Konoha and ended up being executed for his troubles.

Naruto was his target. He was the kyuubi, the thing they'd apparently been searching for. Had Itachi had his way, Naruto would be dead by now, leaving Kakashi alone once again.

And Sakura had been his protégé. What had possessed the man to seek out a girl who admired his brother, for the sole purpose of keeping her alive until she ceased to be useful and then could be killed in order to break Sasuke even more? Such a thorough, six-year long plot, and he never even killed her when he had the chance.

Kakashi feared for Sakura's safety more than ever at the realisation that he absolutely could not fathom what Itachi's motives were, why he had taken Sakura with him now and not earlier, and what he planned to do with her.

Tsunade was worried sick, but it was Sakura's family that Kakashi avoided in the streets. Her grandmother had been hospitalised with shock, and was being cared for by Shizune herself, and Sakura's mother was receiving regular visits from Anko, who was bizarrely convinced that Sakura was absolutely fine, that Itachi would be too scared to hurt her, considering who her friends were (the Hokage, himself, Anko, Naruto, etc.). Her blasé attitude pissed him off, actually, given that she treated him like he was merely sulking, not mourning his loss of another student, straight after he'd lost the first one.

Kakashi's sensitive hearing had picked up the light pad of a single set of footsteps a while ago, one person approaching from behind. He knew who it was even before he drew level with him.

Naruto knelt down and placed a sodden bouquet of flowers at the foot of the monument.

"Neither of the people we have lost are honoured on this monument, Naruto," Kakashi said bleakly, "Or ever will be."

"Sakura will," Naruto said, not stubbornly or defiantly, just with a calm, assured confidence that he knew best and that he was right, "If she fell in battle, they'd have to carve her name here. She's not a traitor, Kakashi-sensei. She's a hero, and we need to save her."

"Maybe." Kakashi said without feeling, not wanting to crush Naruto's hope, no matter how futile it was.

"And Sasuke," Naruto started to say, gritting his teeth, "he should be on here too."

"These heroes died for their village. Sasuke was killed by the village he abandoned. There's a difference, Naruto."

Naruto swallowed back a sob, his shoulders trembling, "No! That isn't fair!"

"What  _is_  fair about this?"

"Look!" Naruto jabbed a finger at the monument, right over the slightly faded name  _Uchiha Obito,_ "There's Uchihas on here! Sasuke died for them! He was trying to avenge them, he should at least –"

"Those Uchiha died in battle," Kakashi snapped,  _do not compare Obito with Sasuke_ , "They died for their village and they would never have abandoned it! If Sasuke had died fighting Itachi, if he had been wearing the Konoha hitae-ate,  _then_  he could have been on here. The only fallen heroes who deserve to be on this monument are the ones who died loyal to the last!"

Naruto flinched visibly, clenching his fists. Then his shoulders dropped and he stared down at the ground.

"No grave," He commented quietly, wiping away the rain that was dripping down his neck, "No monument. Just ashes. Nothing to remember him by but  _this_."

He held up a hitae-ate clenched in his hand, the Konoha symbol defaced by a deep gouge.

"We have our memories." Kakashi replied, slipping his hands into his pockets and looking up at the clouds, "That's enough for me. It always is."

Naruto angrily wiped his eyes and gave a cry of anger, the carefully carved names of fallen heroes mocking him in stone. Sasuke would never be remembered as anything more than a traitor.

"Do you get used to losing people?" He finally asked, clearing his throat and sniffing, trying to shake the tears that were threatening to fall.

Kakashi stared at the grey clouds and put a hand out without looking, touching Obito's name.

"No." He said simply.

xxxxxxxx

"Relax your grip." Itachi chided her, adjusting her hand's position on the kunai, "Stop tensing your muscles. If you stiffen, your aim will suffer. Throwing weapons is instinctive, it's a skill that's hard to work for. Keep your eyes on the target and try to picture the kunai's point striking it."

Sakura let the tension in her shoulders drop and glared at the tree in front of her. There was a scar in the bark that she was aiming for.

Taijutsu, basic weaponry skills, stamina, even ninjutsu – she'd neglected them all in favour of medical based ninjutsu and genjutsu. Itachi had not been pleased to hear this, telling her in no uncertain terms that focusing on one or two fields is for specialists, and even they end up dead when they can no longer rely on that which they have favoured.

Her aim had always been shoddy.

They were in the forest on the outskirts of the town they were staying in, the sun piercing through the leaves of the trees, Itachi standing behind her with his hands on her elbows, his chest so close to her back she could feel the heat emanating from it.

"Don't worry about not hitting it," He said kindly, "There's no pressure."

Oh, that's easy for you to say, Sakura thought scathingly, you don't have an attractive ninja standing right behind you, so close their breath is touching your neck!

He released her elbows after correcting her grip and took a step back.

"Go."

A flick of her wrist, and the kunai whistled through the air, striking the tree within seconds, slightly below target.

Sakura threw her hands up in the air, frustrated, turning away from the tree.

Itachi moved to reassure her, "It's fine, don't get stressed."

She sighed, pushing her hair out of her face and shading her eyes with her hand, the glare of the sun becoming too much as she peered at Itachi.

"It isn't fine." Sakura disagreed, inwardly disappointed in herself, "If I don't have chakra, I'm dead. Without my genjutsu or ninjutsu, I'm pretty much useless."

There was no warning whatsoever as Itachi's hand struck the air where her face used to be as she took one step back automatically, blinking.

His expression was frustrated, "I taught you myself," He argued, "You can dodge strikes you don't know are coming. You can withstand torture and you survived the Forest of Death, Orochimaru and myself. When left with nothing but the basics, a specialist ninja finds out more often than not that they are more skilled than they have been giving themselves credit for."

Sakura rolled her eyes but smiled at his reassurance, having missed this sensei-student interaction more than she'd let on. Except, they weren't student and teacher anymore, were they?

Itachi's eyes had been unable to spot she hadn't hit the target straightaway, so Sakura walked up to him and studied his gaze.

"Let me have another go at fixing your eyes." She lifted her hands as her chakra pulsed through her fingers eagerly.

His mouth dropped into a frown, "No, your training comes first. My eyes can wait."

"You'd insist on being the last to be healed if you were the only mortally injured shinobi within miles," Sakura scoffed, "If you'd quit being a martyr for ten seconds you'd see there's no point in staying half-blind when you're friends with a medic nin."

Itachi's lips quirked at the word 'friends,' but he quietly acquiesced and lowered his head so that she could lightly touch his closed eyes with her glowing fingertips.

The sunlight dimmed, the birds chirping diminished until all Sakura could hear was her and Itachi's steady breathing.

Damage. Long-lasting damage.

Frayed, torn… beyond repair.

She didn't believe in things being impossible to heal but…

She hadn't sensed this before, but then, she hadn't been concentrating, just half-heartedly reducing what she could at the time.

She broke the connection with a gasp, stumbling backwards.

Itachi looked startled.

She closed her eyes, not wanting to see his reaction to what she had to say.

"I can't do it." She said quietly, burning with shame and regret. Why was she so bloody useless? Why couldn't she –

"I didn't think anyone could," Itachi commented, brushing his fingers underneath his eyes thoughtfully, "Every medic I came across said as much."

"But –"

"Sakura," He said gently, "If I have a martyr complex,  _you_  feel you have to fix everything. You don't. Some things cannot be healed, some damage is irreversible. I accept that. Do you?"

She scowled, fighting the urge to go get some medical textbooks, study hard and come back to prove him wrong.  _Everything_  could be fixed,  _nothing_ irreparable.

Sasuke.

Some things were broken and messed up, and could never be healed or completely fixed into what they used to be. Throwing a tantrum or getting upset wouldn't help or change that.

But still, she'd arrogantly assumed she could heal his eyes…

She sighed. Then, she straightened, smiling, "The Hokage could probably fix your eyes. She's the best medic nin in the world, she fixed a shattered spine that everyone else claimed was broken forever. I believe in hoping for the best, not accepting the worst."

Itachi actually laughed, touching her cheek fleetingly before withdrawing, "My own little pessimist/optimist. I have never met anyone who has managed to be both self-defeating and eternally hopeful."

"I'm multi-talented." She shrugged, "But my aim still sucks."

Itachi lifted her wrist and pressed a kunai into her hand.

Just as she was about to throw, he kissed her cheek lightly and knocked her wrist, sending the kunai flying.

It hit the target dead-centre.

Sakura glared at him.

"Cheater."

"That may be true," He admitted shamelessly, his hands on her shoulders, his eyes sparkling with amusement, "But my aim is faultless."

And with that, he dropped a kiss on her lips with perfect aim.


	20. Strange Company and Unwanted Presents

Clouds gathered outside, filling the sky with grey and white, not a trace of blue to be seen. The air was chilly. There were a few old trees growing near the hotel window. Crows roosted in the boughs, feathers trembling in the wind, heads ducked down for warmth. Few people were awake so early, but the ones that were had headed down to the market in the middle of town to set up stalls or check out the trade before the midmorning rush.

Sakura peered out of the window down at the tiny figures walking below, shivering in the cold, tracing early paths through the grass.

Itachi was asleep.

Not properly. He never slept properly. He was always awake on some level. If she walked near him, he would know. She wondered if he still dreamed whilst in that wakeful state. Surely not? If he did, what would he dream of? She remembered him saying once that he had been in a war when he was just a child. She could easily imagine he had nightmares more often than not. Perhaps being half-awake and fully aware at all times was preferable to being plagued by memories of war.

She was in a thick nightgown with leggings and a dressing gown. The weather had taken a turn for the worse lately. When she walked down in the town in the morning with Itachi or Kisame, frost stained the grass and rime covered the streets, as though someone had taken an icy brush and painted the town in the night.

In a way, she would never forget Kisame wanting her dead. Despite that, they managed to be civil, even friendly. After she saved Itachi's life permanently, Kisame warmed to her. Sometimes she'd find herself laughing at a comment he'd made or listening intently to a story he was telling, and she would then chastise herself. Even though he was friendly to her now, he was still a missing nin; he'd betrayed his own village and murdered people for fun. The only reason he hadn't killed her yet was because they were sort of on the same side.

What strange company she kept nowadays. She thought of what Team Seven back in the old days would think of her situation. She'd run away from their village and joined up with Akatsuki. Maybe, just maybe, after learning all of the extenuating circumstances behind her situation, they would understand.

One thing they'd never understand was her relationship with Itachi. Even she didn't understand that!

Once, Ino had come up to her, aged fourteen, and whispered excitedly that she and Shikamaru were boyfriend and girlfriend. The relationship lasted the length of a single mission, in which Shikamaru received some unwanted female attention and didn't bother rejecting the girl when she flirted with him. Ino had been absolutely furious. But she had confided in Sakura, telling her that the relationship had been sweet while it lasted.

Sakura had wanted nothing more than to be Sasuke's girlfriend when she was a child. She wanted to break down Sasuke's walls, to know that he cared about her enough to be with her. She'd been so young and stupid.

Itachi loved her.

Really, really loved her.

She didn't know what she had done to deserve his love, but Itachi evidently cared for her greatly.

She sifted through her memories. All through her life after meeting Itachi, he was the person she wanted to see the most at all times. When they were on that bridge, surrounded by mist and likely to be killed, the person she'd thought of had been Itachi. When she was in the Forest of Death, scared and alone, she'd wanted Itachi to be there. She'd begrudged the other genin for being able to have their true sensei with them during the exams, wishing Itachi could have watched her fight and  _win_  for once. When Sound had attacked the village, she'd wanted nothing more than to have Itachi be there by her side.

Even after he'd 'betrayed' her, in the cold and lonely years when she had sunk to her lowest, some part of her she'd locked away longed for the man who'd taught her, who'd made her feel special when she'd been the plainest, least talented member of a very talented team, who'd been there when her self-esteem had been lower than low, who comforted her when her grandmother was sick, who acted like she had something of worth to say, whenever he sent Raban she'd feel excitement flutter in her stomach, the special secret she'd carried with her, making her feel stronger, giving her the strength to deal with everything that went wrong in her life.

When she hit puberty at around about twelve, she began dreaming things. Silly, childish things that made her roll her eyes to think of now, but back then she'd taken it all very seriously. She'd entertained the idea that one day Itachi would see her differently, would think of her the way she'd wanted Sasuke to think of her. The idea that he did indeed like her like  _that_ , well, it was too much to take in.

They'd both grown up. Itachi had been just a kid when they'd met, barely a teenager. Now, after everything they'd been through, Itachi being forced to join Akatsuki after murdering his family, losing everyone he loved, including Sasuke, Sakura believing her sensei was a traitor and that he'd never cared for her, living with the burden of her own village's hatred, feeling herself grow hard and cold, they were together again.

After Sasuke died, she found herself just not caring anymore. That night when she was tied to the bed, she felt the rage, the disappointment, the sadness, all swallowed up by the intense grief that she felt. It was a constant ache in her chest. If Team Seven was one body, they had lost a limb and been crippled by the result.

But being with Itachi, who cared even more about Sasuke than she did, felt like being propped up, the pain and grief lessened by the knowledge that Itachi understood what she was feeling. Not being alone for the first time in so long felt amazing.

She looked up sharply at the knock on the door. Itachi's eyes snapped open. Always awake, never resting.

Kisame slipped through the door, a plastic bag in his hand, his permanent shark grin on his face. He looked at Itachi and Sakura, gesturing to the bag, "Dinner. I actually scored some meat this time. That market is a bloodbath. Morning shoppers are _vicious_."

Though Sakura doubted that the shoppers had actually pulled out weapons and gone to war over some limp lettuce, Kisame looked cheered by the thought.

Itachi pushed the sheets away and swung his legs over the side. He no longer winced when he got up, he didn't have to peel himself away from a sweat-soaked bed and he never awoke to find he'd been sick in the night or gotten another nosebleed. He still automatically tensed when moved to stand up, expecting to have to fight crippling dizziness or pain as he stood.

But he was healthy now, and got to his feet steadily without trouble, crossing the room in seconds to take the bag from Kisame. His eyesight hadn't improved, but Itachi, as an elite shinobi, was used to using his other senses to get around and so had no trouble taking out the chicken from the bag and examining it closely.

"It's bad." He said shortly, tossing it in the bin without warning.

Kisame's grin disappeared, "Oi! I had to look for ages to get that!"

Itachi shook his head and emptied the bag's contents onto the counter.

His hand swept over the lettuce Kisame had procured, squeezing it to judge its freshness, over the bread, cheese and tomatoes. His hand paused on the tomatoes and his expression tightened just slightly.

"Salad for dinner, then?" Sakura called.

"Again." Itachi commented.

"Look, I'm doing my best to bring home the bacon, oh wife of mine, the least you can do is fix the dinner without complaint." Kisame joked, nudging Itachi's shoulder.

Even Sakura winced at the murderous look on Itachi's face. Kisame removed his hand with a teasing grin.

"Hey, brat! Tell 'im to play nice!" Kisame hollered across the room. Sakura waved a hand in acknowledgment of the request.

"Itachi, calm down." Sakura said sharply. Itachi had to play the part of emotionless mass murderer when Kisame was around, but that didn't mean he wanted to anger or upset Sakura. It was almost comical, watching him switch personalities in seconds.

"I am not angry." Itachi denied quietly, looking imploringly at her until she smiled.

Kisame burst out laughing. Itachi glared at him. Kisame made a cracking noise with his mouth, "She's got you whipped, right?"

Itachi just stared at him coldly until he stopped laughing.

"I can't believe you tried to feed me a line about her being your protégé, you dirty bastard," Kisame chuckled, "Oh, c'mon, don't look at me like that! You two have been acting all lovey dovey for days now, it's enough to put a man off his food!"

Itachi calmly began slicing the bread.

Sakura bit her tongue to stop a denial bursting out. Boyfriend and girlfriend, like Shikamaru and Ino used to be, like she'd wanted with Sasuke? Who knows.

"Sakura is my student," Itachi said impassively, "I think nothing more or less of her than that."

Ouch.

But his eyes flicked to hers, a quick, subtle moment of reassurance and she realised he was only trying to trivialise the affection he felt for her so that Kisame didn't realise just how attached Itachi was to Sakura. Emotional attachments were weaknesses, and Akatsuki members weren't weak.

"Sure, sure," Kisame chortled, "Your sweet little protégé, who you rescued from captivity, who spent hours healing you to save your life, who completely eradicated the disease that was killing you… I'm sure you two are just 'good friends.'"

"Kisame-san is hiding another injury." Sakura said to shut him up without looking away from the window, a grin on her face.

"What?" She heard Itachi say coldly.

"I – I just… Tsk, brat! I might have got into a  _tiny_ bit of trouble in the marketplace, OK?"

"Explain."

"Some nin from Konoha. They didn't see me, as far as I knew, but then one of 'em got me from behind. Fast bugger. Looked like an Anbu, well, before I chopped his head off anyway."

Sakura stiffened.

"Ah, brat… your home town, huh? Don't worry about it, kid," He said, his voice sounding warmer than usual, "I got 'em all. If they came looking for you, they won't get you."

"Good." Itachi said, his voice devoid of emotion, but she knew he was worried. He was a Konoha nin too, and it hurt to hear Kisame had killed people they might have known.

"Thanks." Sakura said in a very small voice.

She breathed in. She wasn't going to dwell on this. Kisame had been attacked and he had defended himself. People had died. She couldn't let it consume her, fill her with guilt and seep away her newfound happiness and confidence.

What if Kakashi had been amongst them?

"Let me heal that." She said briskly, jumping off the window seat and letting chakra flow to her hands.

He'd been favouring one leg, so she placed a hand on his other leg, feeling for the problem. His knee was twisted. This sort of injury was easy and even quite fun to heal. She smiled and touched his knee.

Itachi watched silently, ignoring Kisame's shit-eating grin.

Her hand glowed and she swivelled it around the knee until the twist was healed. It was like twisting the lid of a bottle to open it. There was even an accompanying 'pop' that indicated she was finished.

"Done." She said, giving the leg a quick pat and standing up straight.

Kisame was giving Itachi a look that probably said something like, damn right, your woman was  _touching_  me! ~~~

Kisame was a weird guy.

"Stop hiding your injuries from me." She glared at him, "I'm the medic of this little group and it's my job to fix you!"

Kisame made a mock-scared face, throwing up his hands, "Ooh, scary little brat!"

Itachi looked as though he wanted to laugh really, really badly. She knew he did because he was twisting his mouth to stop the laughter bursting out like he always did when he found something funny.

"You better believe it." Sakura said playfully.

Itachi turned his face so he could smirk without Kisame seeing.

xxxxxxxx

The bathroom was quite small and it was quite irritating having to share it with two missing nin (who apparently had an infinite capacity for creating mess), but it was a mini-safe haven after a while. After four years of being alone, she had developed a healthy relationship with herself – she liked her own company, her own thought were entertaining enough and she'd discovered a way to block out the bad memories and remember the good.

So she spent a while in the shower, standing up and letting water flow over her face with a stupid grin, enjoying the warmth of the water and the feeling of being clean.

She caught sight of her arm and sighed. The Uchiha burn mark was paler than before, and didn't hurt. She could still feel it if she rubbed her thumb over it, the scarred tissue had felt like a reminder throughout her life of Itachi. Even if it wasn't real, it felt real to her, she could see it and feel it like any of the other scars she had.

At least now she didn't hate it. When she was twelve and in that cell, she'd wanted to take a kunai and cut it out of her flesh. Thankfully, she'd never given in to that urge.

She felt so much better now. She'd really been screwed up. Even when good things happened to her, she'd still been depressed. She'd been obsessed with revenge and her hatred and the need to prove her loyalty.

Knowing that one of the most loyal Konoha shinobi was known as one of the most evil, murdering bastards the village had ever produced made her feel so much better about leaving. She honestly wanted nothing more than to be able to fight and protect her village, but she liked the idea of being with Itachi and helping the village in her own small way. Maybe being a legitimate chuunin was better, but she would take what she could get, and all she could do for her village now was eradicating threats to Konoha from the outside.

It was Ino's birthday yesterday. Every year before they stopped being friends and every year after they reconciled, they would meet up and chat about everything and nothing, and Sakura would hand over a present that Ino would insult and belittle with a smile, but secretly be thrilled with because they were such good friends they knew exactly what each other liked.

She'd had her eye on a sky blue dress that would really make the colour of Ino's eyes pop, but it was expensive, so she'd been saving up. She'd bought the dress after months of putting money aside from her wages from Tsunade and from the hospital. It was hidden in the box it had come in under her bed. Ino would never get that present.

She'd never see her mother or grandmother again.

What had she been thinking when she'd left? She'd lasted four years in that village… she loved it, it was her home, her friends and family were all there… she should have stayed.

And now, she couldn't leave Itachi. He loved her. She had a feeling she might love him back. They needed each other.

Well, it wasn't as though she could just waltz back into the village whenever she felt like it.

She'd made this decision and she had to stick with it, accept the consequences and move on. There was no point wallowing in regret or depression. She'd spent too long feeling the weight of every bad decision she'd ever made on her shoulders. From now on, she was going to live her life and forget the past. The past had been one big waste of pain and anger. She could finally live her life with Itachi by her side.

She no longer had to feel watched in her home, no longer had to worry about Anbu seeing her cry in her bedroom at night, no longer had to watch her mother's pain over her daughter's trials, no longer had to feel like a burden.

They'd be better off without her, anyway.

She stepped out of the shower, grabbing the only dry towel left and using it cover herself.

The door clicked open and Itachi walked in, looking deep in thought.

Sakura shrieked and leapt backwards, pulling the towel more securely around her naked body.

Itachi stopped dead and let his eyes focus properly. It was quite incredible, really, watching his pale face flush so violently, seeing him immediately avert his eyes, muttering apologies, his cheeks aflame just like her.

"Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout!" Sakura yelled when he lingered. He hesitated, looking very much like he wanted the ground to swallow him up, then turned around, lightning-fast, and shot through the door like a thousand enemy ninja were chasing him.

"NO, don't go in there, Kisame!" She heard him shout.

She slammed the door shut and leaned against it. All of a sudden she collapsed into hysterical giggles.

"Are you laughing at me?" She heard him say through the door, sounding long-suffering.

She couldn't answer, she was laughing too hard.

"I'm really very sorry, Sakura, the door wasn't locked and I wasn't aware you were in there. Kisame, conveniently enough for him, neglected to tell me you were showering."

"It's OK," She giggled, "I'm not mad."

It was true, she wasn't even embarrassed anymore. It was the look of pure panic on Itachi's face when saw her near-naked state. The kid in her found it hilarious that she could embarrass her sensei so easily.

She couldn't hear his sigh of relief, but she was pretty sure it was there.

"We need a lock on that door." Itachi said dryly.

"Oh, I don't know… I think it'd be pretty funny to walk in on Kisame painting his toenails." Sakura said brightly.

This time she could hear him laugh through the door. It was loud and deep and she hadn't heard it that much before.

She savoured the sound of a happy Itachi.

xxxxxxxx

She was certain she had mild cabin fever.

The only time she left the room was to sneak into the nearby forest with Itachi to train (they were focusing on her speed now) or to go on walks.

She had memorised every inch of the rooms. It was open plan, meaning the beds and the sofa were right next to the kitchen and the only separate room was the bathroom. She had counted the ceiling tiles so many times she had actually managed to forget how many there were.

She felt like she was settling into this life, hiding away from the world in a hotel room, bonding with Kisame and Itachi and forgetting everyone she'd left behind.

But that couldn't be true, because their faces were imprinted on her brain. She missed each and every one of them, especially her family. She wished she could stand in her Hokage's office and tell her off for not doing her paperwork again, then they'd laugh about it and Tsunade would try and fail to persuade her to go out drinking and gambling with her.

Had there been any choice in the matter, she would have thought leaving wasn't worth it. Itachi could have snuck past the Anbu every day, they could have seen each other even if she hadn't left, and she could have stayed where she belonged.

Except, they didn't really believe she belonged, did they?

For the first time in a long time, she felt happy.

Was that wrong of her? To be happy in the company of murderers and traitors?

She lay on her stomach, the covers pulled over her. She was watching Itachi clean his weapons in the corner of the room, the kunai in his hand becoming steadily less filthy as he scrubbed off the dried blood. He looked so calm doing it, a bucket between his knees and a pile of weapons on the floor beside him.

Kisame didn't bother knocking this time, shoving the door open and rushing into the room, soaking wet from the rain outside. He was grinning as per usual.

"We had a courier," He announced, "He brought the brat a present."

There was a slightly damp package in Kisame's hands.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, rolling over and getting out of bed. He handed over the package, still grinning like a maniac.

Itachi looked worried but then again, that was his default expression.

She tore it open with a bit of chakra, curious and a little bit excited.

Soft black cloth with red clouds lay in her hands.

The grin on Kisame's face was proud, "Leader-sama obviously doesn't want you to be a full-time member, but as a loyal ally you've earned this. Well done, brat."

Sakura stared at the Akatsuki cloak. Hers?

Itachi's frown tightened.

"It's time for your revenge, Sakura," Kisame said, with the pleased air of someone imparting a great gift. He met Itachi's eyes and winked, "You and Itachi have got a mission. Leader-sama wants Konoha gone. People, buildings, everything. Wants to 'start anew' or something. You can get your own back on those fucks who tortured you."

"He – he wants us to –" Sakura said faintly, trembling.

"Invade Konoha and destroy it, yeah." Kisame's shark grin grew as his bloodthirsty nature was exposed, "Happy hunting, brat."


	21. Ignoring Rules and Starting Wars

Black and red painted the skyline. Hundreds of figures in cloaks stood on the cliff overlooking Konoha, some sharpening weapons, others staring at the Hokage Monument with something like amusement. A large man with spiky hair pointed an axe at Tsunade's face carved in the rock, and made a sweeping gesture with the blade, as though cutting her throat. It was a promise.

Their leader had demanded that 'pain' be given to the village. He had made a big deal out of destroying something great yet corrupt and allowing something pure to rise from its ashes. He wanted everyone dead and every building burnt or torn down.

Two main objectives.

Naruto, alive.

Tsunade, dead.

This was Akatsuki's big moment.

And Sakura was going to destroy it.

A girl with bright green hair and an eyebrow piercing wandered over to Sakura's side.

She raised her eyebrows and grinned, showing broken teeth from getting punched in the mouth one too many times.

"Guy over there's trying to cop a feel," She explained, jabbing a thumb behind her at a guy who was nearly seven feet tall, "Didn't like to complain in case he broke me in half. Mind if I stand with you?"

Sakura glanced at Itachi, who stood a few feet away, looking pensive.

She didn't have it in her to smile. Not today. She just nodded and pointed to the spot next to her.

The girl's grin grew wider, "Ta. People like to call me Teeth, cause they're so fucking hilarious. Real name ain't Teeth, that's all I'm saying."

"Right." Sakura said softly, eyes on the doomed village in front of her.

Don't be nice to me. I'm going to kill you if I get the chance.

Teeth displayed her namesake happily, "You got a name or am I gonna have to call you Pinky?"

Sakura glared at her, "My name's Sakura."

No point in making up names, false stories.

Either Konoha would fall, or they would. Either way, the surviving side wouldn't give a damn that she'd been truthful with one girl named Teeth.

"Cute. Where you from, Pinky?"

"It's Sakura. I'm local." She pointed to Konoha.

Teeth widened her eyes, "What,  _there_? Konoha? You gonna destroy your home town?"

Sakura wordlessly pulled her shirt up to expose the scars on her stomach.

Teeth's smile died a little, "Oh. I see. Not a great place then? Well good. I got a conscience, not that you'd know to look at me. I know it's war and all, but it kinda sucks we gotta kill children."

It 'kind of sucked' that they had to kill innocent children? Teeth was friendly enough, but she had a collection of scars peeking out from underneath her clothes and a slightly manic gleam in her eyes. Sakura had seen it enough times. Years of abuse, usually parental, left behind physical and emotional scars. Kids joined wars to survive. Whatever side would take them. Then they died and no one cared enough to bury them.

Teeth was probably about fourteen, only a kid herself.

With a jolt, Sakura realised she was only a few years older than Teeth. Maybe she wasn't as much of a grown up as she thought.

Nearly seventeen is no age to fight in a war.

Mind you, Itachi fought in the Third Shinobi World War aged four years old.

"What's your weapon of choice?" Teeth asked, pointing to the sword strapped to her back, "I do just fine with a katana."

"I fight with my fists." Sakura said dully.

"Cool." Teeth said happily.

"Sakura, focus." Itachi said coldly, "It only takes one second of ill-attention to die on the battlefield. Be assured, I will not exercise any effort to keep you alive."

"I assure you, sensei, if I will be anything on this battlefield, it will not be inattentive." Sakura bit off, glaring at him, ignoring the flicker of surprise in his eyes. No, she would not go along with his cruel-teacher and ill-treated student game. She didn't care if anyone thought it odd. She didn't care about keeping up appearances. Today was going to go her way. She was going to fix everything and take care of anything that tried to get in her way.

Teeth looked confused, "Oi, Pinky," She hissed, nudging the older girl, "That your teacher? Bit rude, isn't he?"

But a man in red was stepping forward, gesturing for those behind him to follow.

"Second wave." Itachi commented.

"What?" Sakura asked, startled, but it could not begin yet, surely, she wasn't prepared –

"They have already infiltrated Konoha. We are the brute force component of Pain's army," Itachi said, now lowering his voice so that only she could hear, "This is where he intends the less capable of his army to die as distractions. They make a lot of noise, do a lot of property damage and draw out Konoha's defences. Then, the elite forces slip past unnoticed and Pain doesn't have to deal with a bunch of untrained amateurs after the invasion."

"He expects us to die?" Sakura asked blankly, taking a step back unconsciously.

Itachi's jaw clenched. He looked away.

Sakura shook her head in complete disbelief, "No," She said bitterly, "He expects the less capable ninja to die, including myself. You, he expects to live. I am bait. The inhabitants of Konoha will want me dead, they will recognise me. Pain wants them all to be drawn to me, to protect his precious elite ninja! Fine. If you are safe, I don't care," She turned her eyes back upon the village, where smoke began to rise in several places, "Let them come for me. I'll take whatever I can if it keeps them from you."

Even now, in his devastation, Itachi could not keep the tenderness out of his voice, "I do not want you harmed. I wish you had agreed to run away with me, ignore his orders, go live somewhere anonymously…"

Sakura's head dropped down, eyes damp, lips pinched together, "I will not stand back when there is the slightest chance of saving at least one of my loved ones, or anyone. I couldn't live with myself knowing I did nothing to prevent this."

"It's that sense of justice you have that I find so attractive about you." He commented sourly, "But it's also what may get you killed."

Sakura tossed her head back, her Akatsuki cloak flapping in the head. Not today. She had no time for nerves, tears or regrets. No more staying in the background, being careful to never cross that line. She no longer had to hide the techniques she learned from Itachi. She no longer thought him or his jutsu evil. She could finally fight properly.

It was time for the world to see how strong Sakura really was when she didn't hold back.

"I'm through with hiding. I'm part of this, like it or not."

Itachi was about to reply when Teeth suddenly lurched forward.

"Look!" She said eagerly, "It's starting!"

The people in front of them were beginning to move forward, sprinting towards the village, making a lot of noise and using up valuable energy. These were clearly the expendable forces. She was included in this.

A tall, gracefully-built woman strode forward from within their line, breaking the spell of nerves that had attacked their group. Others quickly stumbled after the beautiful woman, Teeth bounding away happily.

"I'm with –" Itachi began awkwardly, pointing to a group of people gathered together, talking quietly.

"The elite ninja." She sighed, feeling the fear curl in her stomach at the thought of going in alone, without Itachi by her side.

"I'll keep you safe," Itachi promised, his eyes dark and regretful, the wind whipping his hair around and nearly swallowing his words up, "Just call Raban."

"I'll be fine," Sakura said steadily, ignoring the cries and chakra flares from beyond the wall surrounding the village, "Take care of yourself."

Someone barked at her to hurry up and then everyone around her was running straight down the hill, herding her with them. She turned her head as she ran, catching one last glimpse of Itachi standing alone on top of the hill, his cloak billowing in the wind.

The teams before them had broken through the west wall at some point, they all filed through the gaping hole, pulling out weapons and shouting war cries.

One by one she saw them fall, kunai buried in throats, chests, senbon in vital areas, screaming under genjutsu…

The tall man who'd frightened Teeth was on fire.

Sakura saw it all and buried her horror deep within herself, detaching herself from what was happening all around her. They had stupidly tried to gain access to a village via a gap that had been there long enough for enemy ninja to gather around and guard, picking off whoever was foolish enough to climb through the hole.

She ran up the wall, chakra gluing her feet securely, giving her speed as a bonus. The sky was clear blue above her, the air hot and humid, her feet pounding off of the wall in a blaze of chakra. She could hear the civilian invaders shouting as she ran.

Fuck being bait.

She cleared the wall with a leap, time slowing as she launched herself into the air, the sun blinding her.

Two Konoha shinobi rose to meet her.

She barely registered their presence, soaring through the air, their kunai whistling past her ear, the sickening lurch in her stomach as she fell –

And then the sharp, hard landing, pain in her knees and ankles, rolling forward, hearing screams and cries…

She was on her feet, kunai drawn, when the shinobi landed a few feet away from her.

Ino and Shikamaru.

Her palms started to sweat underneath her gloves.

She was staggering backwards, shocked and searching for a way out, when Shikamaru's shadow suddenly snapped forward.

She growled in frustration, preparing to throw herself into a series of backflips to avoid his jutsu hold, when Ino shoved at him, shrieking, "No, it's Sakura, Sakura, don't you see? It's her, she's back! She's alive!"

"I see her," Shikamaru said grimly, "I don't think you do."

Ino's relieved grin faltered.

Sakura saw her big blue eyes tracing the Akatsuki cloak. She tore her eyes away, shaking her head, mouth wobbling, "No, Sakura would never –"

"She would, Ino! She was brainwashed, she'd been brainwashed all along!" Shikamaru snapped in an uncharacteristic display of temper, "If you aren't prepared to fight her, you need to leave or you'll get killed!"

Ino was staring at her, her mouth hanging open, utter disbelief written all over her attractive features.

"You wouldn't." She said quietly, her eyes silently pleading for Sakura to confirm her faith in her was valid.

Sakura closed her eyes and let fog seep out, sweeping the area. Shikamaru cursed under his breath.

"Sakura, please!" Ino cried out.

Not today, Ino.

She turned on her heel and ran away.

Tsunade was in danger.

xxxxxxxx

Buildings were on fire.

The shops she'd passed every day of her childhood were crumbling to the ground, smoke rising above them in big, grey clouds, almost blocking out the blue sky. The ramen stall was gone, a blackened crater in its place. Heat from the fire within the Yamanaka flower shop had cracked the windows, glass littering the streets, paint cracking and bubbling as flame licked the walls, the flowers burning in a haze of red smoke.

People were screaming, real screams of terror and pain, uninterrupted sounds of anguish piercing the aching silence that fell through the village. The everyday sounds she knew so well were gone – the cheerful calls of the market people, the laughing kids playing in the streets, barking dogs and hissing cats – even the insects had fallen silent.

The absence of those noises was crushing.

Suddenly, as she picked her way through the rubble, her mind desperately calculating where Tsunade would be, she sensed something heading her way.

Her arm flared and she shouted, ripping herself away.

Hinata and Neji stood side by side in defensive Hyuuga style, arms up in matching positions. Neji's face was cold and without any recognition. Hinata was trying and failing to stop her emotions from showing on her face.

It was Hinata who had ripped the muscles in her left arm in that single strike, Hinata who had struck the first blow without hesitating, Hinata who was staring at her with such resigned sadness that Sakura felt something twist in her gut.

Hinata had improved so much in her absence.

Then suddenly, battle cries resounded through the area and people flooded through, swallowing up the two Hyuuga, both of them staring at her through the crowd hopelessly, pushing and fighting to get to her.

The tall, graceful woman, her head pouring with blood, calmly grasped Sakura's arm, ignoring her pained hiss, and healed the ripped muscles without a word.

Sakura went to thank her but the woman was already dashing into the crowd to take care of the Hyuuga team.

The clouds darkened slowly, spreading over the sky in a steel grey blanket, blocking out the sun and casting gloom over the village. A Konoha shinobi stood on a rooftop, forming the seals for water.

Rain hissed, big fat droplets falling to the ground, unnatural and chakra-infused. The fires that burned all around them steamed, heat blazing.

The crowd was being taken down swiftly, but the graceful woman was clearly causing trouble, going toe to toe with Neji, Hinata defending herself from the enemies all around her.

A heavy-set man went flying when a spinning kick landed him on his backside, two green blurs landing either side of Neji and Hinata.

Gai snapped the graceful woman's neck so fast Sakura's eyes couldn't even catch the movement.

Sakura brought her fog forward, spreading it about herself. It wouldn't stand up to any Byakugan's scrutiny, but Lee and Gai would be blind to her presence, allowing her to watch safely. The shadowy figures of the crowd fell beneath the hard, cracking blows of the duo, Lee and Gai demonstrating their fierce taijutsu style, Hinata and Neji moving in unison, gracefully taking out their opponents.

Just when she decided to head for the Hokage Tower, assuming Lee and the others would be fine, a spiked chain flew out and dragged deep cuts through her waist, ripping through the cloak and spilling blood as she spun away, falling into a defensive pose.

Tenten brandished her now bloody chain with a high cry of, "Lee! Neji! Look what I found in this fog!"

Sakura clamped her hand over the bleeding welts in her side, eyes flicking to the blurs that ripped through her fog, landing next Tenten.

Lee's fists rose automatically but they dropped partially at the sight of the new foe – an injured Sakura in an Akatsuki cloak. Gai's normally jovial features were hard, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes glaring at her. Of course – he was Kakashi's best friend, and she was his treacherous student.

Hinata and Neji could stop her, but the rest of Team Gai could not. She didn't have time to explain, to stop Lee's eyes filling with tears, to prevent his shoulders drooping visibly, she could only form the seals lightning-quick and grit her teeth against the sounds of her former friends' fury.

"You traitor! We trusted you! I believed in you when everyone else told me to stay away from you!" Tenten roared even as the fog grew thicker and Sakura disappeared.

"Sakura-san! I don't understand!"

"Sakura!"

Her name, a chorus ringing out in the fog, Sakura, Sakura, Sakura – she couldn't take the shame searing through her and sprinted through the decimated back alley behind her, hearing them follow and desperately wishing they wouldn't.

But they were cut off, more people in cloaks swooping down, taking advantage of the poor visibility to get the drop on them.

Teeth lay on the ground, an axe buried in her stomach. Her eyes were wide open and glassy, her mouth still spewing blood even as she died.

Sakura ran, feet slapping against the wet ground, the rain soaking through her cloak, her breath the only thing she could hear.

The grey sky above her formed a roof. She was trapped in the back alleys like a rat in a maze, splashing through puddles and slipping as she turned corners. All the while, the crushing silence filled her ears with a dull roar, the awful sense of being truly alone back with her, no friends, no allies, just enemies all around on both sides…

She could make her own ally.

She crouched in a corner, back to the wall, glancing around her suspiciously, and swiped her thumb along the sluggishly bleeding wound in her side.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu." She whispered.

A black seal formed on the ground from her blood, wings spreading through the floor, the black tips of feathers peeking through the stone first, followed by a sharp beak, until the entire crow flew out of the ground, flapping its wings furiously.

"Raban." Sakura said in a low voice, not wanting to alert anyone lurking in the area, "You know where we are, what we are doing?"

"Itachi might have mentioned something about an invasion, yes." The bird said dryly, beady eyes flickering over her, "You should probably heal that. What's our mission?"

The wound disappeared as she ran her hand over it impatiently, "Fuck the mission. I'm saving my village."

With that, she turned and dashed in the vague direction of the Hokage tower. Raban followed swiftly, wings beating a rhythm as they sped through the alleyways.

She reached a clearing and skidded to a slippery halt, the way blocked by two figures.

"And they come in two by twos." Raban muttered, landing on her shoulder.

Kakashi stood with Kurenai, both of them gazing silently in her direction.

Shit.

Sakura was filled with the desire to confide everything in Kakashi, to beg his forgiveness, to ask him for help –

His posture subtly shifted from relaxed to alert. His eyes connected with hers and she felt a little jolt at the lack of emotion written there. His Sharingan began to spin slowly. Kurenai was dressed in a plain black dress, a tool belt hastily slung around her hips.

"The wanderer returns." Kakashi stated, fixing his hitae-ate more securely away from his eye, letting the Sharingan pierce through her shaking form.

"Didn't the Uchiha traitor use crows?" Kurenai pointed to Raban.

"That's Uchiha-sama to you." Raban croaked.

"I was going to go for traitorous psychopath myself, but whatever works for you." Kakashi drawled.

"He isn't a traitor, or a psychopath." Sakura said quietly, her eyes downcast. She couldn't face looking him in the eyes.

Kurenai scoffed loudly, "I am beyond disappointed in you. You had such potential, but you allowed it to go to waste."

"I only want to keep Tsunade and Naruto safe," Sakura said sincerely, gathering the courage to look at her old sensei once more, "Where are they?"

Kakashi laughed bitterly, the sound echoing eerily. Fog surrounded them, not of her own making.

"You think I would tell you? So you could kill them?"

"I'm not strong enough to kill either of them. I don't  _want_  to kill them. Please, Kakashi-sensei, you have to believe me!"

"Don't call me that," He spat, "I am not, nor have I ever been, your sensei. You proved that. Congratulations. You fooled me. But it's not you I blame. It's that damn bastard who lied to you, broke your mind and took you away –" He cut himself off with a forced cough, looking away.

Sakura stared at his averted eyes steadily, stroking Raban's head to calm him.

"Why have you come back, Sakura? Did you want to twist the knife a little more –"

Sakura interrupted Kurenai's speech by glaring into her eyes and forming the release seal with her hands, breaking the genjutsu the older woman had been trying to weave.

"Such a talent for genjutsu," Kurenai murmured darkly, "Kakashi noted even back then how unusually gifted you were for such a young child. But you haven't learnt from me in years, Sakura. I wonder if your skills are rusty?"

Sakura tilted her head and waved her hand slightly.

The clearing darkened, the shadows spreading into one, unified blackness beneath them. Kakashi and Raban melted into the darkness. Crows cawed from the sidelines, feathers rustling noisily. There was something foreboding about the shadows around them, something sharp within its folds, a thousand beaks and claws tearing –

"Enough." Kurenai gasped.

Sakura broke the jutsu without a word. She hadn't caused her any pain, only frightened her.

Don't try to play on my pride, Kurenai-sensei, she thought angrily, you won't like what you find.

An explosion rocked the village, the ground shaking beneath them. Fresh screams erupted in its wake.

"Consider this," She said slowly, "Everything you think you know is wrong. Itachi never betrayed Konoha. The Council forced him to kill the Uchihas –"

Kakashi was shaking his head incredulously, "My God, he's actually convinced you, hasn't he? He's fed you these lies and made you believe he's this innocent little angel –"

"I've never lied to Sakura if I could help it." Itachi said smoothly, dropping down next to her, making her jump violently and grab a kunai.

Kurenai covered her eyes belatedly, but Kakashi just glared right at Itachi without a care, fury rolling off him in waves.

"You – you get the hell away from her," He started to say hotly, "I won't let you poison her mind any further! Sasuke didn't get the chance to kill you, but I will –"

"Kakashi-sensei, I'm so sorry," Sakura said tiredly, "But I need to save my friends. There's no time for any explanations. Naruto and the Hokage are in danger. I will do everything to save them. Don't make me go through you."

Shock flickered through Kakashi's eyes as Sakura stepped forward threateningly.

Itachi stepped with her, putting his hand on her shoulder in a show of support. Kakashi's fists clenched.

"I'm not a stupid little girl being lied to and manipulated. I'm here by my own choice. Just think, Kakashi-sensei. You once called me the smartest genin in the Rookie Nine. I'm telling you now, as the student you taught and know, Itachi did not betray anyone. The Uchihas were planning a coup to overthrow Konoha. Itachi was ordered to massacre them to protect the village.  _Think_  about it. You can believe what you want, but I'm going to save my friends and I'll be damned if I let even you stand in my way!" Sakura said firmly.

The rain continued to pour.

Kakashi didn't believe her, that much was obvious in the hate-filled glare he was drilling into Itachi's eyes. He truly believed she had been fooled. Itachi had indeed lied to her for all of those years, but Sakura knew deep down that he was telling the truth about what happened the night his family died. He had no reason to lie to her. She sighed wearily. Kakashi would never believe her.

Raban looked at Itachi, who nodded.

He whispered in Sakura's ear, "The troops are being withdrawn for the day. We're taking heavy losses. Pain isn't pleased. We need to go now."

Sakura let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding, feeling her tenseness dissipate. Tsunade and Naruto were safe for now. Surely Itachi would have heard if the Hokage had been killed or their main target captured?

She threw off her cloak, noting that the rain was stopping.

Kakashi frowned, moving forwards.

A quick hand seal and a muttered word later, and the cloak set alight, the hated fabric eaten up by Sakura's conjured fire.

She met her old sensei's eyes through the smoke and flickers of flame, her face set in determination.

"I'm not Akatsuki," She said, holding her head up high, Anko's coat swirling around her legs, "I'm a chuunin from Konoha, like it or not, and I'm not here to fight with you."

"I've had enough of pretending. Fuck this charade. I won't be that naïve little girl creeping out of her window at night to talk to strangers. I won't be that chuunin endlessly searching for a way to prove her loyalty. I won't wear this fucking cloak, and  _pretend_  to be something I'm not. I'm Haruno Sakura, and I'm here to save my Hokage, loyalty to Akatsuki or Konoha be damned!"


	22. Soaked Ruins and Burned Villages

It had stopped raining.

Sakura leant against the wall, feeling every aching wound throb in unison. She needed a good wash, her skin was smeared with dried blood and dirt. She looked down at her feet, both bruised, looking pale under the mud. Her hair was coated in muck, slicked back away from her face.

They were hiding out in an old ruin not far from Konoha, protective wards set up around its boundaries by several ninja. All around her survivors lay, exhausted and wounded. And she couldn't help them. Her chakra was drained. Not only that but…

She fished around in her bag of traps until her hands touched cool metal and cloth. She pulled out her hitae-ate with a smile, rubbing some dirt off her cheek and sliding down to the ground to sit on the grass and stare at her past.

The evidence of her loyalty in the palm of her hand. Her hitae-ate, unmarred metal shining, the Konoha insignia still intact. Even whilst surrounded by the crying voices of the injured, the silent, pale people too far gone to help, she had to remember who she was. She'd never once turned against Konoha. Perhaps her loyalty was blind. She didn't think so. She'd grown up there, made friends, had been popular once. Met a blonde, hyperactive kid and a dark-haired, brooding boy. Made a team with them, a flawed, imperfect team, but  _her_  team anyway. Had a sensei, screwed it up.

She looked up at the vague outline of Konoha on the horizon. She didn't care. She couldn't care less that they wanted her dead. Ever since Sasuke had died, she'd had a pretty fragile relationship with life anyway. Seeing the disappointed, horrified faces of everyone… Lee's despair and disbelief… Ino's slow realisation… Tenten's angry words… Kakashi, straightening his hitae-ate, glaring straight at her, gearing himself up to killing her.

The hitae-ate felt slimy in her hands. Moist, unclean. She didn't deserve to hold it.

"Sakura." Itachi stood next to her, holding up a flask of water, looking as tired as she felt.

She gestured for him to sit next to her. He did so primly, spreading his Akatsuki cloak carefully around him.

She gulped down the water greedily, eyes flickering around the camp.

If she was any other ninja, in this position, she would have poisoned half the camp by now. Tiptoed around dripping colourless poison into people's drinks, food… Slit the throats of the injured and the unconscious.

If she was any other ninja.

But she wasn't.

Maybe she would have been, had she not inherited Itachi's pacifist nature. She sat there, hitae-ate in hand, eyes closed, and wondered who she was. She could be cold, but she cared. She cared too much about everything and in this world that made her weak. Even after everything that had happened, she secretly hoped that everything would go back to normal, that she would talk with Tsunade who would completely understand, Itachi would be absolved of all crimes, Kakashi would laugh and say he'd known all along that she was innocent, Naruto would smile, pull back a curtain and Sasuke would be there, alive and well…

"Is it OK to make plans?" Sakura turned her head, still leaning against the wall, to look at Itachi. He frowned at her in mild confusion, "I keep wanting to think about the future. To try to secure something. I catch myself thinking about whether or not I should buy a flat, or if I should go for promotion again," She continued, not noticing Itachi flinch, "And then I remember. I'm either going to die in there or they'll imprison me. And  _then_  I'll die."

Her mouth twisted up into a grin, "Do you know the really funny thing? I don't care. The only thing that bothers me is the thought of you getting hurt in there."

Itachi's eyebrows pulled together, his lips tightening into a frown as though her lack of consideration for her own life bothered him.

"So, can you do me a favour? Don't go back in there." She said quietly, gazing at him, "You are a good guy, Itachi. One of the better guys out there. You don't deserve whatever Konoha would do to you."

"Neither do you," Itachi closed his eyes against the violent pain that surged at the thought of Sakura incurring Konoha's wrath. Remember Sasuke, he thought to himself, don't let Sakura go the same way.

"This is tricky," She grinned without humour or cheer, "I want to be selfish. I want to ask you to come with me, to stay by my side and not leave me again. But I've grown up, Itachi. I'm not your student anymore. There were times that I was scared and alone and I needed you, Itachi, like when Zabuza was attacking us, or Orochimaru, or Konoha was being invaded… but now that you're here, I can't help wishing you were locked away somewhere safe."

"I have a mission," Itachi said, mouth pursing in distaste, "Pain wants me to capture Naruto, alive. If I left, he would know and he would wonder… Not only that, but I want you safe too."

She smiled, a genuine smile now, "Then let's go back in there and fight for real. I can't take it easy on them… I need to be strong."

Itachi closed his eyes and leaned back, sighing, "You learn to pick your battles, but some are picked for you. Pacifists can be practical too, Sakura. This is war. I mistakenly instilled a pacifistic nature within you when it could have been your downfall in the violent career you were already destined to have. But I never meant for you to be reluctant to fight. To kill to defend is not evil. War is regrettable, but your people need you. Our people need us. I have made a decision," His eyes opened, Sharingan as fresh and powerful as the day they were awakened, tomoes spinning furiously, "We will fight to defend Konoha. Let them see our true nature."

Sakura felt a surge of relief, – to fight for her village, to strike back at what was expected – no longer would she have to weakly protest her innocence, no longer would she have only her word to back her up. She could fight to protect everyone.

"We've been martyrs for too long," Sakura extended her hand, palm upright. Itachi slowly took her hand in his, "Accepting our fate has not gone well for us. Those who would have you killed rather than have their little double-agent plot revealed will just have to sit back, gnashing their teeth in fury, as we prove them all wrong."

Itachi gave the quietest of laughs, a short exhalation of breath. Then, he squeezed her hand gently and nodded, "Yes. You sound older than you truly are. I dislike the thought that I had a hand in your premature maturing."

Shoulder blades slipping against the damp wall they leant against for purchase, she moved sideways towards him, upper-body lurching almost drunkenly as she forced her tired muscles into action. Resting herself against his side, she moved her face upwards, noting his surprise with amusement.

The survivors murmured around them, the rain hissing against the half-formed, crumbling roof. Her lips met his in a tender caress, shyness making it gentler than she would have liked, like a trembling butterfly landing softly upon a flower. Her sentimental comparison surprised her – she hadn't given love or other 'girly' emotional subjects a thought since her first crush proved to be a lie, and yet her fingers entwined with his delicately as she pressed her mouth against his briefly.

Premature maturing. She'd grown into a cold young woman with a hot, frightening temper. And yet, she still had enough love for her old sensei to hold his hand and kiss him like she really, really meant it.

Because she did.

She moved back, rain dripping into her eyes, realising that the weather had taken a turn for the worse and she had barely even noticed, so distracted she had been.

Itachi's thickly-lashed eyes had turned black once more through his shock, his mouth slightly open in amazement.

"I said we've been martyrs for too long. That means you have to stop blaming yourself for everything." Sakura said with an almost cheeky smile.

She squeaked in shock when Itachi's arms curled around her, quick as a snake striking its prey, yanking her upwards, mouth angled perfectly to align with his. His kiss was stronger and somehow more urgent.

They broke apart, Itachi's eyes darkened, tinged with red. It was Sakura's turn to be shocked into speechlessness.

"I have been wanting to do that for a while, " He confessed, "Especially after the first time was so…"

Awkward was the word he was grasping for, Sakura thought to herself. Her brain had felt as though someone had cut it out of her head, spun it around a bit and then shoved it back in wrong after Itachi had kissed her for the first time.

But now it felt right, though there was still a touch of awkwardness in their interactions.

Strangers. Sensei and student. Maybe friends. Enemies. Tentative allies. Maybe friends once more. And now, on the cusp of the possible destruction of their home village, maybe something more.

Itachi pulled a blanket from the heap of supplies a hard-faced man had piled up next to them in case they needed anything, and spread it across both of their laps.

The light of day was beginning to fade. The temperature had plummeted as the clouds opened, rain soaking the ruins. They both moved over until they were half-covered by a jutting rock that had once been part of the roof.

They were still holding hands.

"Itachi?" Sakura whispered, huddling under the blanket, large green eyes peeking out from under her mop of blood-soaked hair.

He didn't open his eyes to look at her, but he tilted his head to hear her better, "Yes?"

"I'm scared." She said simply. Her bare words held only a hint of the overwhelming fear that had begun to seep through her like the cold ground beneath her bare legs. Her knees trembled. She was thankful for the blanket and the darkness, hoping Itachi's keen eyes couldn't see just how frightened she was.

He sighed.

One long arm circled her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. "Don't be," He murmured, resting his chin on the top of her head, rubbing her arm comfortingly, "I won't let you get hurt."

She breathed out shakily, managing a smile, "And you won't let yourself get hurt either, right?"

He laughed shortly, "No, don't worry. I'll make sure everything works out."

Relieved, Sakura let her head drop onto his shoulder, shutting her eyes with a tired sigh. Itachi felt the weight of his promises and her reliance upon him as heavily as a physical burden. He settled down for a quiet sleepless night with the girl he was quite sure he loved beside him, the stars visible in the night's sky, and the smoke rising in the distance from where his beloved village was burning.

xxxxxxxx

The survivors, all tired and ragged, rubbing eyes with fists and grabbing any weapon they could find, tried to gather themselves into something resembling a formation. Sakura now understood that this army she had stood with was nothing but a diversion, fodder for the Konoha nin to make quick work of whilst the true invading force snuck past their defences.

Looking around at the injured, tired and frightened people, Sakura felt anger deep in her gut. This Pain guy, her apparent leader, deserved some of his namesake dealt tenfold back on him. She would fight for Konoha, yes, but no way in hell would she attack these defenceless people. They hadn't been chosen for their skills or power. They'd been chosen because they wouldn't be missed.

Teeth deserved better.

There were a few self-appointed leaders, who split the remaining force into three sections based on skill. The hard-faced man in charge of supplies raised an eyebrow at Sakura as he passed, about to place her with the low-skilled force, when Itachi had narrowed his eyes slightly at him, scaring him out of his wits. She'd ended up with the highly-skilled fighters, the actual shinobi, with Itachi, to her relief.

It was time to head back to Konoha.

Sakura gripped Itachi's hand furtively, seeking comfort. He seemed cool and unaffected by it all, but squeezed her hand back.

xxxxxxxx

Konoha was on fire. The rain did nothing. This was conjured fire, a jutsu meant to last hours, long enough to reduce many buildings to nothing but smouldering embers. Whole streets had been obliterated.

It was a ghost town, the civilians had long since been evacuated and the remaining shinobi were holed up somewhere. The silence was back, crushingly empty and vast.

Sakura ran through the wet streets of Konoha once again, feeling frustrated, as though she was being forced to start a race again from the start.

Itachi wasn't there. They'd been separated a while back to her horror, fearing he'd been caught or hurt or  _worse_ , but then she'd spotted black and red dancing in the distance, his cloak flapping in the wind as he ran along the rooftops that still remained, extinguishing the fires with his own techniques.

Her fellows, Pain's forces, spread out awkwardly as their unofficial leaders had decreed, each heading to their own destination. She felt no animosity towards them. She only wanted to warn Tsunade and Naruto of the danger, to re-join Konoha's side and have them accept Itachi too (they'd have to, the Council knew exactly who's side Itachi was on and they'd need him in this war).

Her ears caught the sound of a distant scuffle and she changed direction, hoping Itachi wasn't being forced to fight anyone.

A glimpse of platinum strands around a wall – that image stuck in her mind more than anything, the strangled cry, the blood, the shock. Just the sight of Ino's hair flying up as she hit the ground gracelessly like a marionette with cut strings.

"No!" Her voice ripped itself out of her throat unbidden, hoarse and shocked. Her body moved without her consent, dropping to Ino's side.

She was already gone.

Her blue eyes had clouded over.

"Ino!" Shikamaru screamed at his teammate, gripping her shoulders, seeming completely unaware of Sakura's presence, "Ino! For fuck's sake!"

He whirled around to defend himself when Ino's murderer came out of the shadows again, the hard-faced man, knife out again, Shikamaru to slow to react, eyes filled with tears, vision blurred –

Sakura broke the man's neck cleanly in one  _snap_.

Shikamaru, holding Ino up to his chest, stared at her, suspicion and grief in his eyes.

Sakura felt cold all over. Her thoughts were disconnected. She sank to the ground, staring at the cloudy sky, eyes filling up with tears. She didn't feel grief. She just felt aching numbness, as though she was made of ice.

Ino.

"Where's Chouji? Asuma?" Sakura heard her voice speak and dimly wondered who had bid the words to come.

"Asuma died." Shikamaru's hand was shaking as he struggled to undo his chuunin jacket pocket, retrieving a cigarette one-handed. He looked at it for one long, silent moment before tucking it back carefully, "Chouji's back at base."

Sakura was crying but couldn't think of a single reason why. Her shoulders shook, "You smoke?" She asked, her voice a weak, pathetic little thing, a candle's flame so easily snuffed out.

"Asuma smoked. Guess I'll have to try my hand at flower-arranging –" His stupid, desperate attempt at humour broke off as he swiped at his eyes with his wrist, sobbing brokenly. He covered his face with his arm, muffling the little gasping sounds he was making. His other hand was supporting Ino's head, her upper-body resting on his knee –

No.

She wasn't thinking about that.

She couldn't think about that.

"I'm not Akatsuki." Sakura said, trying to stop the odd, convulsive little shudders shaking her frame without drawing Shikamaru's attention. It was better for both of them if they didn't look at each other, if they didn't acknowledge –

"That makes sense. You would have killed me by now if you were. I-I- … I-Ino was right. She was right." Shikamaru swallowed back a growing sob and hid his face once more, hands shaking with the desire to smoke or the loss of something.

Stop crying.

You're making me cry, she thought uncharitably. I don't want to cry anymore.

But she had to look. She couldn't let those platinum strands of hair be the last – last memory of Ino – last –

Ino's eyes were still open, wide and staring. Her mouth was closed, her face pale save for the streaks of red on her cheek. There was no life in it. No breath, no flush of colour, no sweat, no tears. Just blood and white.

Ino.

Sakura was clinging to the vague detachment, some primal part of her recognising that losing this would bring pain, when she reached over and gently, like a butterfly's caress once more, closed Ino's eyes for her.

Who knew she could be so gentle?

Shikamaru watched her do it, wiping his eyes repeatedly as the tears kept flowing.

"Staying here will get us killed." He said, dark eyes flashing around the alley they were in.

"No." Sakura said with total certainty, "I said, 'not today, Ino.' I said it. I should have been here. I could have stopped. Stopped this. I would have," Her eyes fell on the fallen man sprawled opposite them, "I will stop this invasion."

Shikamaru gazed at her with confusion, a rare expression to be displayed on the genius' face.

"Take Ino back to your base. Tell Tsunade-sama that Pain, the Akatsuki leader, wants her dead. Tell Naruto he wants him alive. Tell them." Sakura stood up, eyes examining all around her, looking for a flash of black and red.

"What about you?" Shikamaru asked, his words falling heavily between them. What about you?

What would she do? She had no plan. But, instead of pain, like she had feared, anger was what was thawing her icy numbness. Anger boiled inside her. That anger would keep her going long enough to defend her village.

"Keep yourself safe. Take Ino back," She moved to the mouth of the alley, pausing to look back at him, "I'm sorry about Asuma. And… and Ino."

"Sakura." His voice halted her, "You stay safe too. I'm sorry about not trusting you."

And Ino. The words lay unsaid between them.

"I'll be fine." Sakura said calmly, feeling the rage inch its way upwards, eating away her self-control.

xxxxxxxx

She came across a battlefield next.

Konoha nin fighting against a larger crowd of Pain's people. Sakura stood in front of the crowd, ignoring an errant kunai that flew past her, opening her cheek on its way. She didn't bother to wipe away the blood.

She closed her eyes.

Chakra made it obvious who was friend and who was foe. She opened her eyes, noting that she'd been spotted by several Konoha nin, who had drawn kunai and were inching closer to her.

She'd never practised it on large numbers of people before, but her demonstration with Kurenai helped her sculpt it.

Crows cawed, their distinct  _kraa kraa kraa_  filling the air. Purple and black shadows swept over the ground towards the fighters. Men and women fell back as feathers exploded in their faces, beaks and claws and caws all combining into one hellish, terrifying noise and feel –

Pain's men and women fell one by one, clawing at their heads to bat away the illusory crows, screaming.

The Konoha nin looked at the only plausible source of the jutsu, the pale-faced pink-haired traitor with a blooded face. She hadn't moved an inch, and yet Pain's forces were currently frothing at the mouth, rolling on the ground and crying out sporadically because of her.

Sakura looked up at the cloudy sky. Alright, Pain, she thought coldly, let's see how far I will go when pushed.

xxxxxxxx

The Konoha forces had just let her go without a word.

If she had felt any ill-will to Konoha due to Sasuke's death, the gaping chasm that Ino's murder had caused evened the playing field. She was now fighting with her one goal in mind, no softness or reluctance holding her back.

She reached the hospital, aiming to get to the Hokage tower, pleased she knew where she was going now that she was in a more familiar area.

Base.

Shikamaru had referred to a base.

Sakura knew she had found it when she could no longer move. Caught in a chakra trap, her arms glued to her sides, fingers welded together to prevent her from forming seals, Sakura waited.

She didn't have to wait long.

What had appeared to be the hospital gradually melted away to reveal a smoking crater in the ground. Hundreds of shinobi sheltered within the chakra-sustained walls, about ten placed in various areas to keep up the shields, the rest hunkered in the middle.

Tsunade strode towards the chakra wall Sakura had blindly walked into whilst trapped in her all-consuming rage.

Her mouth was forming words Sakura couldn't hear. Her expression was pained.

She placed her head in her hands.

Sakura felt the realisation of everything that had happened sink in when she spotted Ino with a sheet thrown over her face, Shikamaru sitting next to her with his arm around Chouji.

Please… she thought, beginning to cry, please let me in.

Kakashi approached, the chakra flashing over Sakura's eyes making him appear blurred.

He stared at her as though he could see her intentions and loyalties with just his eyes. If only he could. If only.

He started to argue with Tsunade, gesturing furiously towards Sakura. She figured he was either pleading her case or pointing out how foolish it would be to allow her to enter.

Tsunade snapped something back and threw up her hands in frustration.

She stalked over to the nearest shinobi maintaining the walls and tapped her on the shoulder, pointing at Sakura and saying something. The woman cast Sakura a sharp, hard glare, but suddenly the chakra clenched around her and she was being forced through violently.

She fell to her knees, the rough, rocky ground scraping her skin. Noise exploded all around her as she had passed through the muffling wall of chakra.

In a fraction of an instant, a kunai was at her throat.

Kakashi.

He still didn't trust her.

"Sakura," He said, but his voice was soft and kind, "Shikamaru told me. You killed the man who killed Ino. You didn't kill Shikamaru when you had the chance. A scout team of Konoha nin came back half an hour ago and reported that you had defended them. I am so, so sorry I ever believed you had turned."

He moved the kunai away with a scornful glance at Tsunade, who shook her head incredulously.

Sakura gazed up at her sensei, "You believe me?" She asked, hardly daring to hope.

He pulled her into a hug, "Haven't you gone through enough, Sakura, without doubting who your allies are too? I believe you."

And with those simple words, the floodgates were released and she began to cry for real this time, with the knowledge that Ino was  _gone_  in her head and the realisation that Kakashi  _believed_ her set in.

It was time to start healing. She could start it now in her sensei's arms, thawing away the ice lodged in her heart.


	23. New Defiance and Mending Friendships

The chakra walls seemed to be pulsating all around them. Sakura could see fine cracks and dents in the surface from where the enemy had tried to penetrate their defences. The Konoha shinobi mostly looked exhausted, though Sakura realised just how much of a novice she really was when she saw expert ninja not even flinching as medics cauterised their wounds or amputated limbs. A few jounin prowled around as though frustrated at being unable to help those outside.

Kakashi bid Sakura to come sit with him. She did so, carefully keeping Ino out of her sight to avoid another flood of emotion she really couldn't handle.

"Joining the Anbu," He said quietly as she dropped down next to him, "Is hell. You learn to block off all emotion, to feel nothing in the face of danger and carry on fighting when someone you love dies. You might find that a blessing, Sakura, if we all get through this intact and there's an Anbu left to join. But I don't think so. You've always been so compassionate, so kind, even in those bleak four years when you retreated inside yourself. It may be that you have to consider other options than returning to your old job."

Sakura nodded slowly, her eyes distant as she thought hard about what could be done if the best outcome of this war came about and everyone survived and Konoha was rebuilt. Whatever happened, she knew she wanted to stay with Itachi. They'd been torn apart before, never again.

"Itachi was four years old when he first fought in a war," Sakura said sadly, "What he saw there drove him to become a pacifist. Then, he was informed that his clan was involved in a coup that would undoubtedly end in another civil war. He was pushed by the Council and the Hokage to get rid of the threat. He orphaned himself, but couldn't bear to kill Sasuke, and so left him alive. He met me and hoped he could redeem himself by training me. His choice caused a lot of pain, but I am glad to know that whatever kind of shinobi I am, I am that shinobi because of him."

Sakura let out a breath, noting that Kakashi's eyes were not narrowed in anger or widened in disbelief, he was simply listening to her, just as Anko had done.

"I went through a lot in those four years. I lost a few good friends. But I got to the point when I could take the pain I felt and lock it away. I felt anger instead of pain and felt stronger for it. I am nearly seventeen years old and am no longer willing to be a pawn. I will not be pushed in the directions people wish me to go. I will not listen to the words of those who did not believe me when I begged them. I will not wallow in my misery and pain, but will not take my losses lying down. I will not passively accept the insults or ill treatment others may feel the need to throw at me. I will make my own choices and be content in the knowledge that I am living my own life."

Kakashi murmured, "I didn't want you to grow old this quickly."

"You should have believed me right from the start. You always said I was smart. But you never really noticed me, did you? You were preoccupied with Naruto and Sasuke. You spent your time training them and didn't notice or care when I began to fall behind. If I hadn't had Itachi, I would have been even weaker. You allowed me to go into the chuunin exam, the Forest of Death, knowing I wasn't strong enough. You told me to go after Gaara when you knew exactly how dangerous and bloodthirsty he was. You left me behind, Kakashi, and were surprised when I couldn't keep up. I could have died so many times because you didn't care enough to bother with me."

His eyes flickered with some emotion when Sakura called him by his name, without sensei attached. But he didn't seem angry or upset. Just resigned and apologetic.

"I'm a crappy teacher," He acknowledged, sounding matter-of-fact, "I'm a soldier, a jounin first, and a sensei second. I knew Sasuke was strong and had potential. I knew he was angry and that he might do something stupid. I hoped I could show him he didn't have to go anywhere else to get strong, if I was teaching him. Naruto had the kyuubi and the fact that he was despised by his entire village. He needed me. They both needed me more than you ever did, Sakura. I don't know if it was you, or Itachi's influence, but you were always detached, exceptional in your own right, and never needed me to tell you what to do. You showed signs of potential in genjutsu, but Kurenai taught you that. You knew every basic jutsu I threw at you, and often scoffed at what I tried to teach you all. After Itachi 'betrayed' you, you ignored me and everyone else. You could be cruel and taciturn – a second Sasuke, almost. But even then, you were strong on your own. I never felt you needed my help at all. Iruka told me he felt the same when you were in the Academy. You are a genius, Sakura. I was lucky enough to be gifted with a team of insanely talented genin. There was Sasuke, with his innate talent and high intelligence, Naruto with his hidden abilities and determination, and then there was you, the smartest genin of your age, talented with genjutsu and yet aloof to my teachings. I should have believed you, I know."

"I'll tell you a secret. I used to be obsessed with playing by the rules. I was rigid, insufferable and convinced I didn't need anyone else's assistance. I lost someone very dear to me, like you lost Sasuke. It was the making of me. I was devastated, but newly determined. I threw out the rulebook and decided to be my own man, not caring what anyone else thought. But when Sasuke died and I was forced to stand there on the platform and watch, I felt myself slipping back into my old self, the one who thought rules and guidelines were there for a reason and should never be deviated from. I hated Itachi. I wanted him dead. I thought he had betrayed his village and broken Sasuke. I then thought he had manipulated my twelve year old student and broke her too. When Sasuke died, I believed Itachi was the cause, and he was, in truth. If Itachi hadn't betrayed everyone, Sasuke would be alive. And then I was called into your hospital room. I ran when I got the call, so sure you were dead. I thought either you'd killed yourself or he'd done it for you. But when I got there, Tsunade was nearly in tears, your bed was empty and the window open. I thought he had kidnapped you. You would have been frightened if you'd seen me then, Sakura. I destroyed your hospital room in a rage. I was frantic. But then you showed up, claiming Itachi was innocent and you made it clear you had left by choice. It was like another betrayal. I was Anbu once, but no longer. Even the smartest, most experienced ninja will allow emotion to cloud his judgement. I should have believed you."

Sakura listened to his words and felt her deep-seated rage and resentment begin to fade away. She'd felt entitled to his help, his teachings and his faith. She'd demanded it all with nothing to justify it. She'd thought she was better than him and the others. She had laughed and mocked what she believed was low-level jutsu that he showed her. She had hated him for not being Itachi and after his betrayal, she had hated him for not protecting her from the pain she'd felt, as though he should have known what Itachi was doing.

Kakashi had no evidence, no reason to believe her. There was a lot more evidence, years' worth, of Itachi being a traitor. He was a missing nin. And yet, Kakashi believed her.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said simply.

His eyes crinkled in a smile, and he patted her shoulder.

"Sakura," A voice said tersely, "Can I have a word?"

Shikamaru stood in front of them, flicking a match away, lit cigarette dangling from his mouth. His hands were still shaking. Sakura wondered who had helped him light it.

Kakashi stood up and excused himself, heading over to have a talk with Gai.

Shikamaru took his place, sitting down cross-legged. He gave a weary sigh. Sakura wondered how many years would pass before all of his cigarettes turned his heavy sighs into rasps.

"Me and Ino were part of a scouting team. We got separated from the rest and we were fighting together. It was Chouji. He wasn't there, he was with the team. Without him, me and Ino couldn't work together smoothly like we normally did. I got… I got the majority of them but one slipped past. He was too quick for my jutsu. I turned around and… well, it was already over and you were there. I came back here and Chouji… he's hurt." Shikamaru said hollowly, swallowing when he mentioned Ino's name, "He'll be OK, but… he doesn't know yet."

Sakura got out her hitae-ate from her bag and in one decisive move, tied it around her forehead, like she and Ino had discussed when they were kids. One day, when they were serious, capable ninja, they would wear their hitae-ate across their forehead. Sakura tightened the knot and breathed out. Kakashi had lost someone 'very dear' to him, but had used it to make him stronger. Sakura would honour Ino's death by fighting relentlessly until either she fell in battle or helped save Konoha.

"When this is over and Chouji is better, let's go out for a drink or something." Sakura suggested. She and Shikamaru had never been close, but she wanted to help him through this. In truth, she needed to be helped through it.

Shikamaru's smile was bittersweet, "Ino would have complained about the calories, called herself fat and insulted Chouji's weight." His eyes were wet just reminiscing, "It won't be the same without her."

Sakura patted him on the hand and smiled comfortingly at him.

He got to his feet, wiping his eyes discreetly. No one would have judged him if they'd seen his tears. They were in the middle of a warzone, after all. Most people would have lost loved ones, surely.

He went off in Neji's direction, the other jounin nodding in greeting at him. Tenten gazed at Sakura, a bandage covering half her face. She shook her head and looked away. Lee wasn't there. Sakura tried to ignore the surge of fear she felt as she noted his absence.

Tsunade stood in the makeshift hospital section, where dozens of people lay on stretchers or sat up with bandages covering various body parts.

Sakura watched as Kakashi made his way over to Tsunade. He whispered in her ear, looking over at Sakura a few times. Tsunade looked at Sakura and sighed visibly even from far away. She made a sharp gesture and some Anbu appeared out of thin air. She spoke to them for a while, the main leader nodding, until they spread out in formation all around her.

Sakura felt a smile break out on her face, they were taking her advice, they knew Pain planned to attack Tsunade!

She got up, conscious of the Konoha hitae-ate tied noticeably across her forehead as she crossed the base, heading for Tsunade. Hostile eyes from all around followed her as she walked. She glared at every unfriendly face, snapped a reply back at every insult. Felt them shrink back under her sudden, uncharacteristic defiance.

Tsunade saw her coming and put down the bandages she had been unravelling. She straightened up, beautiful face grim and stern, hands on her hips.

When Sakura reached her, she saw her hazel eyes were hard and glittering with anger, "Sakura, I can't tell you how happy I am that you are alive and well. However, I am –"

"Don't even say it." Sakura interrupted her angrily, "I just saw my best friend die. My home is burning down all around me and I don't even know if my family made it out OK."

Tsunade's hard glare softened then, "I don't know if your mother was evacuated in time. Your grandmother is here," She gestured behind her, at the wooden stalls functioning as makeshift wards, "She was in the hospital when Konoha was invaded. I think Kakashi got her out and kept her safe until we made this our base. He brought her here. She'll be fine."

Another blow. Her mother… what had happened? No, she couldn't focus on that. She would allow herself plenty of time to grieve later.

"I wanted explain about Itachi. He told me everything."

"Oh, I bet he did." Tsunade said wryly, "I bet he told you the entire truth, with every detail… I'm sure he mentioned that he slaughtered children. I'm sure he told you how his parents died."

Sakura drew in a shuddering breath, "He told me why they died. But I'm sure as Hokage you already know, right? I doubt you even asked the Council. The Uchiha were planning a coup. The Council and the Sandaime commanded Itachi to kill them to prevent war from breaking out."

Tsunade was shaking her head, a disbelieving smile on her face, "Sarutobi-sensei would never have agreed to that."

"Would it matter if he did?" Sakura said, exasperated, "The Council don't need the Hokage's consent, you of all people know that! If they wanted Itachi to do it, the Sandaime would be forced to go along with it, like it or not! And oh, by the way, what a fantastic plan! To prevent war, let's kill everyone and hope no one questions it! The whole village mourns their death, the day of their massacre is remembered as a tragic event, when really the Council must have been congratulating themselves on a job well done! Itachi was thirteen years old when they forced him to do that! And look what peace it's brought Konoha!" Sakura gestured all around them at the war-torn village they stood in, "It's not as if that brilliant plan spurred the lone survivor to go on a quest for revenge, abandoning his village and becoming a missing nin, eventually being executed for it! Sasuke's life was ruined by that plan, but if they'd had their way he wouldn't have had a life to ruin in the first place. You can't create peace from war. If you refuse to even consider the possibility that Itachi is a double agent for Konoha then you aren't the amazingly intelligent sensei I admire!"

A muscle was leaping in Tsunade's jaw as she gritted her teeth to prevent the hundreds of angry remarks she so obviously wanted to shout in reply.

"Do you know what got me through the four years of everyone believing I was a traitor?" Sakura leant closer, ignoring the warning mutters of the Anbu, eyes burning angrily, "I had a few precious people who  _believed in me._  You were one of them. Despite Konoha's treatment of me, the torture, the hatred, Sasuke's death, I had only wanted Konoha to see my loyalty, to prove it to my village and myself that I was no traitor. Well, Tsunade-sama, I don't care anymore. I don't feel the need to beg and plead with you anymore. I'm no traitor, but I'm not a dog you can kick around and yet still be completely loyal to you. Yes, I've never betrayed Konoha but I'm not going to bother trying to persuade anyone because  _I know._  I don't need anyone else's belief but my own. I'll defend Konoha, but I won't be treated like I was before. Itachi is the most loyal of Konoha's supporters and I am proud to be his student!" Sakura said loudly, not caring if anyone heard her. Let them tut in disgust. Let them believe the worst of her. They could no longer get to her.

Then, intending to see her grandmother, she walked around the Hokage without looking back.

_Crack._

The chakra walls hummed with the sound of a reverberating blow. Shinobi tensed and got out weapons, patients huddled under blankets and looked up at the purple walls of chakra fearfully.

Sakura shared a shocked look with Tsunade before the woman disappeared from sight, Anbu coming from everywhere and covering her.

"Sakura!" Kakashi yelled, his voice urgent.

_Smash._

The chakra dissipated slowly as it was struck, both by physical and chakra strikes. The shinobi holding the walls together with their own energy winced, their hands shaking in their seals.

Then suddenly, a kunai soared through a gap and struck one of the wall shinobi. She fell soundlessly, and more gaps appeared with her death.

Enemy chakra soared all around, people all around in cloaks forcing their way through the barrier, the Konoha shinobi leaping up to defend their fragile base.

Sakura was just about to punch an enemy when a green blur whizzed past her in a devastating kick, Lee nearly tore the man's head off in one strike, jumping back as the enemy fell.

Lee glanced at her and grinned, noting her lack of cloak and Konoha hitae-ate tied across her forehead.

"The lotus blooms twice!" He yelled before throwing himself into the fray.

Everyone gets a second chance.

Sakura saw some shinobi near Konoha's fallen shinobi and snapped, flying into a rage at the thought of Ino's body being damaged.

She let her hands flicker through the seals and sank into the technique, feeling a web of chakra all around her, the tendrils of enemy and friendly chakra entwining. She sought out the enemy chakra – rougher, harsher, unfamiliar – and began weaving her jutsu.

Fire spread about the destroyed hospital, licking the edges of the crater they stood in, leaping in brilliant hues of red and orange.

She heard many of her victims screaming; believing they were on fire and feeling the pain their minds tricked them into believing was real.

First, pain and shock, second, destabilise minds.

Lee defended her as she formed her jutsu, later joined by Gai, who greeted his student happily, covering his back.

Crows cawed.

Her enemies, still cowering under the flames they believed overwhelmed them, heard the caws and felt pure horror seep through them as the jutsu did its work.

Everywhere around her, people were screaming, fending off illusory crows and trying to put out imaginary fire, allowing the Konoha shinobi to swiftly finish them off.

Sakura launched herself into the air when she spotted a few clinging to the weak chakra walls. One came to meet her, kicking off the walls and flying right at her.

She grabbed him by the shirt, evaded his strike and spun him around once, using the momentum to throw him down to the ground with the force of a mountain. He hit the ground with an almighty crash, the sound echoing like thunder.

A woman in an Akatsuki cloak managed to land a hit on Sakura, but the disgraced chuunin's own punch was much harder: she poured chakra into her fist and smacked the woman across the crater, watching as she hit the chakra wall and fell twenty feet to the ground with a crunch.

Sakura felt the touch of a very familiar chakra, bright and powerful. She looked down and saw Naruto fighting in the masses of people swarming around.

She dropped to the ground, sprinting towards her friend. He didn't see her, he was looking at Hinata. Pain wants to take Naruto, Sakura chanted in her mind, I won't let him!

A solitary crow cawed loudly, not of her own making. She whirled around. Itachi stood, eyes flicking around the crowd until he saw her, Raban flying above his head.

Sakura tried to fight her way back to him, but was pushed in the direction of the crowd – towards the group of Anbu defending Tsunade.

Sakura's skin tingled and she held her breath just in time, Shizune's formidable cloud of poison passed by, a few senbon whizzing through the air.

Shizune scowled furiously at her, throwing another senbon with deadly accuracy.

A dango stick, thrown with chakra, knocked the senbon off-course, protecting Sakura.

Anko landed beside her, black cloak spreading around like wings as she descended.

"Welcome back." Anko said, her grin mischievous and delighted. She was immediately engaged in a fight with a much larger man, and Sakura felt her bloodlust strengthen. She would never understand her friend's love of killing.

Hinata was fighting with Naruto, but she suddenly spotted Itachi and stiffened. She quickly glanced over him, noting the Sharingan, the Akatsuki cloak, and her frown tightened. She pushed Naruto behind her and fell into a defensive Hyuuga pose. Neji immediately joined her.

Itachi finally reached Sakura after killing any enemy who was unfortunate enough to fall into his path.

"Sakura." He touched her face lightly, before his head jerked up to stare at the ceiling of chakra.

A tall man with bright orange hair and many facial piercings dropped down near them. His cloak, black with red clouds, swirled around his feet as he touched the ground in landing. He slowly straightened up odd spirally purple eyes sweeping over everything.

He scanned the crowds until he saw the massive group of Anbu swarming around the Hokage.

A gigantic sword appeared in his hand in a puff of smoke.

Itachi grabbed Sakura's arm, "It's Pain, it's the leader of Akatsuki." He said, his voice so flat and calm Sakura knew they were in deep trouble.

Pain turned to look at them as if he knew they were there before he even saw them. Itachi had removed his hand from Sakura's arm but Pain stared at the place in which Itachi's hand had rested seconds before.

His eerie eyes turned to Sakura, drifting over her unmarred, unscratched hitae-ate tied across her forehead.

"You are an exceptional ninja, Itachi," Pain called over to them, "But must work on inspiring loyalty in your followers. That one has betrayed you. Has betrayed us."

Itachi's chakra swirled into something a little more dangerous than usual, "How so?" He asked, his voice sounding indifferent.

"I only told  _you_  of my plans. And yet the Hokage stands, still alive, surrounded by guards despite what I assumed would be chaos and destruction. It does not take a fool to work out why." He made eye contact with Sakura. She shivered, fear sinking low in her gut.

"You are mistaken." Itachi's voice was deadly.

"I think not." Pain looked over at the Hokage and then suddenly, quicker than Sakura's eyes could follow, he was  _there_  where he'd been looking, right by Tsunade's side.

He lifted his sword and –

Sakura, Tsunade had always taught her speed and evasion was key to be a medic, she sped across the crater quicker than she had ever moved before, feet pounding off the ground, blue flickers of chakra lighting her path.

"No!" Her scream ripped its way out of her throat as she evaded the Anbu and ran straight into Tsunade, who still had not noticed Pain behind her.

Pain, unbelievably, lowered his sword.

Sakura stood, arms flung out in her attempt to protect the Hokage, Pain's eyes tracing her face.

"You claim to be on my side and yet you would give your life for the Kage of Konoha." He said tonelessly.

Tsunade had immediately been swamped by Anbu just after Pain's sword would have driven straight through Sakura had he not stopped himself with impeccable self-restraint and speed.

Itachi appeared by Sakura's side, apologies and promises already falling from his lips, his hands up defensively to shield Sakura from his leader's wrath.

Pain listened and then, with the Anbu preparing to strike out at him, he made his move.

He shoved the sword through Sakura's chest, ripping through bone and sinew with unnatural ease, impaling her chest and slicing through her heart.

" _ **SAKURA**_!"


	24. Engraving Names and Ending Martyrdom

Pain's eyes were so cold. "Those who live life as martyrs always get their wish. A sacrifice, heroic or otherwise. Either way, the cycle continues, and pain goes on without them."

Sakura took one rattling breath and spat blood at his face, in such complete agony she couldn't even form coherent thoughts, just thinking  _it hurts it hurts it hurts I want to die._

Pain wiped the blood from his cheek, expressionless, moving the sword upwards roughly, still trapped in Sakura's chest.

She screamed, her eyes rolling up into her head as she fainted.

Itachi shoved Pain away from Sakura, catching her when Pain removed his sword in one pull, gathering her in his arms, her head lolling on his chest.

The Hokage was just watching through the chaos, ninja running around her, occasionally blocking his view of her face, but her expression never changed as she stood stock still in the middle of the crowd of Anbu, her skin white from shock and tears rolling down her cheeks, her mouth gaping open stupidly.

Itachi sank to his knees, holding Sakura tightly enough to bruise.

He looked up at the impassive face of his leader, cruel in his complete incapacity to feel remorse or mercy.

"That was a very, very stupid thing to do." Itachi breathed out, his hands stemming the blood flow from Sakura's chest, sickened at the warmth and sheer quantity of the liquid slickly pouring through his fingers.

Pain gazed at him, eyes tracing his face, searching for answers, "Was it?" He asked carelessly, not understanding Itachi's meaning.

Itachi nodded at someone behind Pain.

The leader of Akatsuki turned around slowly.

Hatake Kakashi's Sharingan was spinning around uncontrollably, his hand ignited with the flaring light of his chidori, birds beginning to shriek as he powered up his jutsu, pointing it towards Pain.

"Ah." Pain said in understanding.

Anko slowly and calmly came to stand next to Kakashi, wordlessly offering her support. Her venomous glare was fixed on Pain.

"Naruto!" Kakashi bellowed, light flickering in and out of existence as his lightning blade crackled.

The kyuubi container stood on the other side of the base, flanked by some other teenagers, Hyuugas, facing away from them. The group turned around as one at Kakashi's hoarse shout.

Itachi witnessed the very moment that the world's strongest jinchuuriki saw one of his best friends bleeding out and dying.

The air whispered the coming storm that threatened, the wind howling the boy's fury.

Uzumaki Naruto's eyes widened painfully, veins bulging in his temple, bright blue giving way to blood red, teeth snapping in his mouth, sharpening to wicked fangs, fingernails snapping and claws growing in their place. A thin line of drool oozed out of his mouth as he stared at them, only seeing Sakura's pale face, her eyelids trembling shut, her brows drawn together sharply in pain.

He roared, the sound otherworldly and terrifying. The shinobi fled from the noise, certain a monster was near, fearing for their lives.

A young woman, one of the Hyuuga, put a hand on Naruto's arm. Itachi winced when he sent her flying with a slap, red chakra beginning to swirl around his body. Another Hyuuga, a male with long dark hair, broke the girl's fall and pulled her away.

Itachi remembered what Mitarashi Anko had said to him in the woods, about Naruto, ' _He will_ destroy _you if Sakura ends up hurt or dead.'_

" **Sakura…** " Naruto growled, his voice carrying even from beyond the other side crater, a wild, bestial growl that must be the Kyuubi's own voice speaking through the young man, " **Is she alive? Can she be saved?** "

Pain had been staring down Kakashi and Anko but the moment he sensed the beast's chakra pouring out in enraged waves, he looked up, his eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly.

"Yes!" Tsunade's voice broke forth strong, "Calm down, Naruto, remember you can't keep her safe when you're out of control!"

Naruto took a step forward and then –

He was in front of Itachi, looking down at Sakura, the sound of his instantaneous movement snapping out like thunder rolling round the crater, his chest rising and falling quickly as his heartbeat quickened at the sight of his friend.

Itachi fought the urge to pull Sakura away as Naruto bent down, ignoring Pain, who stood only a few feet away.

The claws dragged across Sakura's neck as whatever was still human left in Naruto clumsily attempted to check her pulse. Itachi watched his red eyes narrow and dilate, his breathing coming in fast gasps.

" **Heal her** ," His voice rumbled out, directed at Tsunade. He looked at Itachi, who felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise under the direct stare of the Kyuubi himself. Naruto bared his teeth, " **Was it you?"**

Kakashi's lightning was still singing out. Raban flew overhead, cawing his mourning cry, joining in the chidori's song.

"No." Pain said tonelessly, seemingly unbothered when Naruto's head snapped around to face him, "I did it. Come, take your vengeance…"

He burst through the chakra wall, leaving it crackling, a gaping hole in its side.

Naruto's chakra exploded from him as he sprinted after Pain. Itachi could see his form stretching and changing even as he disappeared from view, hot on Pain's heels.

Kakashi shouted something and charged after them, the Hyuuga teens and a few others following him.

Itachi felt someone gently touch Sakura, and he ripped her away from them, snarling in anger.

Tsunade stood before him, her expression a complicated mixture of sorrow and exasperation, "I need to heal her," She said quietly, dropping down next to them, "You need to let go."

Itachi realised his fingers were cramped from holding Sakura so tightly for so long. He released her reluctantly, eyes on her unconscious face as the Hokage took her from him.

She was watching him silently. She drew Sakura across her lap and put her hands on her chest, "Kishō Tensei," She said wryly, "It's a forbidden technique my damned rival Chiyo cooked up. She gave her life for the Kazekage with this technique."

Itachi stared at the woman, did she plan to –

She noticed his stare and smiled, the seal on her forehead beginning to glow, "I won't die performing it. I have plenty of chakra stored up. Sakura's still alive, if only barely."

Her eyes hardened as she gazed at Sakura, "I promised myself I would never lose another precious person if I could help it."

Her hands beginning to emanate a pale blue glow, her chakra gently thrumming into life-giving energy. The change began at her hands. The skin started to wrinkle, liver spots appearing. She was aging slowly as she poured chakra into Sakura's chest.

"Sakura told me how Chiyo saved her life when they fought Sasori and I thought of how furious that old cow would be to see me using her own technique, so I studied it." She said breathlessly, concentrating on regenerating Sakura's flesh, bone and blood.

She suddenly looked up, locking eyes with Itachi, her shrewd hazel eyes penetrating, "If you care for her at all, shield us now while I heal her."

Itachi felt the words go through him like a dagger.  _Must protect Sakura_ … Sakura.

She lay in the Hokage's lap, her hair spread about the ground, her mouth slightly open. The Hokage's chakra lit up Sakura's face until it glowed eerily, her skin a pale blue, the dash of blood in the corners of her mouth, deep purple. Her arms dangled at her sides, her knuckles scraping the floor on either side of Tsunade. Itachi looked, really looked, his Sharingan whirring to life, and saw a tiny, healing scar of an old burn. A burn in the shape of the Uchiha insignia, written in Sakura's skin.

He did this.

Sakura lying half-dead, Konoha a burning wreck, the Kyuubi likely to be the jewel in Pain's collection.

This was his fault.

He stumbled backwards, clumsily ripping off his Akatsuki cloak. No longer would he wear this, no longer would he live a lie.

Pain's forces still remained in Konoha.

He flew up, barely feeling the jump, throwing a barrage of shuriken in seconds, each one striking an enemy dead-on in seconds.

He landed without a sound, already looking around for another person to fight, when the felled enemies each hit the ground with thuds next to him, shuriken embedded in their hearts.

A man standing a few feet away from Itachi cried out as a snake sank its fangs into his neck, falling to the floor, convulsing violently as the venom spread through his system lightning-fast.

Anko stepped around the man, shaking the snake back into her sleeve. Her light eyes fell upon Itachi and her scowl hardened. She swiped at her mouth with her fist, wiping a streak of blood away.

She looked at Sakura and for a second her tough persona slipped and Itachi caught a glimpse of the worried friend buried underneath the professional shinobi.

"If she dies, I'll kill you." She said to him, her voice icy with hatred.

"If she dies, you won't have to kill me." Itachi said quietly, "I'll do it myself."

Anko stared at him, her face incredulous, "Are you really only a few years younger than me? What a fucking childish thing to say! Stop being so fucking morbid. You and Sakura have a little problem with wallowing in misery, self-loathing and wanting to die. Buck the fuck up. This is a war. You think she'd want you dead because of her? Don't be so pathetic. You aren't the only person here who cares about Sakura. I do. But if she dies I'll kick your miserable ass till I beat the martyrdom outta you. Then I'll toast her for being a damn good ninja."

Itachi felt numb, even with her chastising words he couldn't break through the flood of melancholy that had swept through him since he had caught sight of the Uchiha insignia he himself had burned into Sakura's flesh.

"I love her." He said helplessly.

Her scornful expression softened. She let out a sigh, looking around at the dwindling numbers of Pain's shinobi either fleeing or dying. She messed up her spiky ponytail, her hair sticking up under her rough touch.

"If you love her, you'll have to live without her. For her sake," Anko told him bluntly, "I promise you, she'd want you to live."

Itachi laughed shakily, "All my life I've been planning to die selflessly, restoring the Uchiha's reputation, and now, suddenly, to die would be selfish."

Anko winked at him, "That's called being human, not a selfless pawn."

The Konoha shinobi had gained the upper hand against their attackers. A man who could only be a member of the Nara clan judging by his jutsu took control of a large group of Pain's forces' shadows, all of them falling under his shadow hands. Another man with tanned skin and a scar over his nose fought the shinobi near Tsunade, every now and then casting the woman anxious looks.

A middle-aged Hyuuga male guarded the gap his relatives had charged through to follow Naruto, with protective ferocity, his hands sending multiple enemies flying in spinning attacks. A young girl with the same Byakugan copied his attacks with calm savagery, felling enemies without a trace of hesitation.

Itachi saw the girl's viciousness and flinched, thinking of what he had feared Sakura would become – what made him think he had the right to judge her? What a massive hypocrite he'd been, wanting Sakura to remain as innocent and sweet as she had been aged six, when he killed people on other people's orders.

Anko was saying something, he slowly realised.

"…Get your head in the game, Uchiha!" She snapped, dispatching an enemy who had been sneaking up on Itachi whilst he'd been deep in thought. Now when had that ever happened before? Never. He was always so focused, so 'in the game' as Anko had put it, that he never switched off. He was always on the lookout for danger.

Anko let out a breath, bending over to touch her thighs, seeming winded.

Itachi glanced around.

It was as though all of the colour had drained from the world. Everything seemed faded or blurred. People moved slowly, dragging bodies away at an achingly slow pace, reaching up to stem the flow of blood from wounds, running to reach someone on the other side of the crater, taking an age to get there.

Shaken, he looked back at Anko, who was staring at him questioningly.

"Are you alright?" She asked, looking pained to be inquiring after his health, "You really do care about her, don't you? You look devastated."

She came closer, reaching out to touch his face, the touch dispassionate and clinical. He reared back nonetheless.

She showed him her hand, the light reflecting off the moisture gathered at her fingertips.

"Do you even know that you're crying?" She asked him, her expression curiously sympathetic.

Itachi touched his face, looking away after feeling his cheeks were wet.

"I want to live," He told her, feeling numb and strangely light. He was vaguely aware of the possibility that he might faint, "But I won't have anything to live for if she dies."

He fell to his knees abruptly, shaking as emotion spread through him. Anko bent down to maintain eye contact, placing a hand on his back.

"Is the fight over?" He asked, his words seeming disjointed and too loud to his ears.

Anko patted him on the back, "Fight's over. Where've you been? You seem kind of out of it."

He felt like he was dreaming. Maybe this whole thing had been a terrible nightmare, thought up by his worst fears.

"Is she alive? Is she alright?"

He looked up, not wanting to hear the answer but needing to know.

Anko's mouth formed the words, but Itachi could already feel the rushing darkness coming towards him and he sank towards it, his mind barely registering the words she had spoken.

She had said, "Yes! Yes!"

Itachi fell into unconsciousness, feeling Anko catch him before he could hit the ground, his last thoughts before oblivion were:  _She is alive._

xxxxxxxx

Birds were singing.  _Chidori_ , she thought, muddled, and then:  _it's really a shame Raban can't sing._

Her eyelids were painted gold and her body felt hot. It was like luxuriating in a bath, it was soft and warm and it was the best she had felt in a long time.

Her chest ached hollowly, but she felt her heart beat steadily,  _thump thump_ , inside her ribcage, and remembered that it was a good thing to feel that thumping beat, it meant she was alive. Being alive was a luxury she hadn't expected.

She remembered pain.

It was liquid agony being poured into her veins and she'd felt that heart beat slow down, its beat sluggish and confused.

But now she was alive and strong, lying on something soft, listening to that sweet song of her heart with a faint smile on her face.

It occurred to her that she should wake up.

She tried to move her arms, but they weren't there. If they were, they were like lead.

 _Of course,_ she realised,  _I should just open my eyes._

She did so slowly, wincing when her sight was immediately flushed with sunlight.

She was in a hospital room filled with flowers. She lay in a bed with pure white sheets and she was resting in a patch of sun that was pouring through the open window. She looked at the window and thought,  _Naruto._

Pink carnations and peonies filled vases on every surface.

Little explosions of colour decorated the room thanks to the flowers, but their presence hit Sakura like a blow, remembering, realising, Ino was gone.

She cried quietly for a while, thankful for her solitude, listening to the birds singing.

When she felt slightly better, she turned her head and saw someone standing in the doorway.

Itachi, clad in a hospital gown, leant against the doorframe, smiling weakly.

"Itachi!" Sakura cried out, nearly jumping out of her skin, "What are you doing here? What if you get caught? Why are you in a hospital gown?"

But Itachi was staggering forward and Sakura was swept up in a hug. He held her tightly, breathing in deeply, "I thought you wouldn't wake up."

"You pessimist." Sakura chided, provoking a laugh from him.

"The Hokage," Itachi said, moving back slightly to get a good look at Sakura's face, "She pardoned me. I'm no longer a missing nin."

Sakura gazed at him in disbelief. He laughed again, "And I'm in a hospital gown because I was stupid enough to faint in front of your friend Anko, who apparently carried me to a stretcher on her back."

"Wait, the hospital… How long was I unconscious?" Sakura demanded.

"This isn't Konoha, we're in a neighbouring village's hospital. They've begun rebuilding Konoha's."

"Why did you faint?" She asked, worried.

He looked sheepish, "Apparently, I was under great stress and anxiety at the time… seeing the person you love get stabbed can do that to you, you know. And after being ill for so many years, my body is a little weak, so they made me stay for longer than I would consider necessary."

Sakura put her head in her hands, frustrated, trying to remember if there was anything else she needed to know. Her mind was wreathed in fog.

Her head snapped up, "My family? Are they OK?" She demanded, eyes wide and alarmed.

"Both alive and well, your grandmother is in this hospital, I met her, explained who I was and she hit me with a lamp," Itachi said, deadpan, "Your mother is staying with Kakashi, as far as I know."

She let his words sink in, feeling immensely relieved.

"Tell me who didn't make it." She asked slowly.

Itachi hesitated.

"Tell me." She insisted.

"I don't know anyone's names." He admitted, "I only know the Hokage's assistant was injured and paralysed, but the Hokage is determined to fix her… I'm not the person to ask. Not many people have bothered to fill me in either, Sakura."

"Who gave me all of these flowers?" She asked, gesturing at the ridiculous amounts of vases.

"The Yamanaka family sent them here, apparently," Itachi said casually, "I heard them bringing them all in. Anko told me they were thanking you with them, and wishing you well. Do you know them well?"

"Since I was little." Sakura said vaguely, "I knew their daughter very well. She was my best friend."

"…Was?" Itachi said, glancing around the room, at the flowers, at her face.

"Ino," Sakura said quietly, "She died in the war. I avenged her death quickly, so I guess that's why her family thanked me."

Itachi held her hand, stroking it gently, offering his wordless support.

She smiled at him wearily, feeling the ache in her heart beginning to gradually recede. In time, maybe thinking of Ino wouldn't cause a great spike of pain to go through her, which would be nice, because she planned to never forget her.

She lay back, her head cushioned by the soft pillows. They felt like clouds.

"How am I alive?" She murmured.

"You can thank Tsunade for that. She did some kind of forbidden jutsu, saved your life, at the price of some of her lifespan."

Sakura closed her eyes. How can you thank someone for giving up some of their life to save your own? She owed her a very big bottle of sake and a new set of cards to gamble with.

"Is Pain…?" She asked, her face screwed up at the thought of the frighteningly emotionless Akatsuki leader.

"Dead." Itachi said with no small sense of satisfaction, "Naruto killed him, with the help of a few others, so I gather."

"I don't remember doing it." Naruto's voice came from the doorway.

Sakura jumped, but Itachi seemed unsurprised. Damn elite shinobi skills.

She went to get of bed, beaming, but Naruto stopped her by waving his hands wildly, "Hey, no, Sakura-chan! Stab victims stay in bed! And you, get off the bed, right now."

He pointed at Itachi, his expression utterly serious.

Itachi sighed, standing up and moving away to stand next to the window.

"Naruto, you must know Itachi's innocent." Sakura glared at him.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I have to like it." Naruto said flippantly, "I thought he'd kidnapped you. I can't just forget everything he's done just because it turns out he was ordered to kill the Uchihas, it doesn't change the fact that he still killed them!"

"Look," Sakura said, beginning to get annoyed. Itachi's body language was stiff, a clear sign that he was getting upset, "I understand that it's really difficult to adjust. I didn't exactly take the news well myself when I first heard. But Itachi isn't evil, Naruto. He's a loyal shinobi, he doesn't deserve to be treated like a criminal. That was just the role he played."

"Yeah? Well he played it really well. Killed a lot of people, screwed a few up. Made it very convincing. That's very noble, shows how loyal he is."

"Grow up!" Sakura said, her voice ringing through the room, "We've just been through a war, we've lost people and our village is a smouldering wreck, can you please just understand that Itachi is just another shinobi,  _please_? He's my friend too, Naruto. You are all about the loyalty, you expect nothing less, so why can't you recognise that Itachi was just following orders? Yes, he had to horrible things, yes, Sasuke suffered a lot as a result –"

"You suffered too." Naruto interrupted, glaring at Itachi's back.

"Yes, I did. And I've forgiven him." Sakura said sincerely.

Naruto stopped glaring and turned to her. He looked frustrated, "But Sasuke –"

"Didn't deserve any of the pain, no. But… he made his choice. I still miss him, I'll miss him until the day I die, but I think that if he knew why Itachi did what he did, he'd understand." She said, biting her lip and hoping she could sway Naruto with her words. Itachi was very important to her, without a shadow of a doubt, but she still needed Naruto in her life. Any piece of Team Seven she could salvage from the wreckage of their youth was highly valued.

Naruto sighed, looking uncharacteristically tired.

He shook his head and glared at Itachi once more, "Oi," He said.

Itachi turned his head, his expression politely irritated.

"If you hurt Sakura, I'll kill you." Naruto said calmly, but with weighty conviction.

Itachi looked back at him, expressionless, then nodded, "I won't, but I can accept those terms."

Naruto snorted, "You won't get the chance, you mean."

"I might have something to tell you." Sakura suddenly piped up, having been psyching herself up to say it for a while. Itachi looked amused, as though he knew what was coming, "I'm a tiny bit in love with Itachi." She said quickly, covering her face with blanket in embarrassment.

She still heard the loud, emphatic, " **WHAT**!" Naruto roared, and Itachi's dry chuckle.

xxxxxxxx

Itachi placed the last of his weapons on the Hokage's desk.

The hazel-eyed woman looked at him, unreadable. She now had extremely faint laughter lines and crow's feet.

"Is this a joke?" She drawled, "I work incredibly hard to get you reinstated as a Konoha shinobi, and now you say you want to quit?"

"No joke, Hokage-sama." Itachi offered a bow, "I wish to be discharged from your services as soon as possible. I do not feel I am cut out to be a ninja."

She laughed, "I'd say, power-wise, you are about as strong as Jiraiya, one of the Legendary Three. Not cut out to be a ninja? Maybe so. The Sannin didn't have a happy ending, after all. You are loyal to a fault. Your psychological assessment came back reporting that you have self-sacrificing tendencies, a massive guilt haunting your every thought and a chronic hero complex. These all add up to a fantastic weapon. But I'd say, yes. It's time for you to stop being used. But you aren't quitting, you're retiring, so I'm afraid you'll have to accept a monthly payment to compensate you."

Itachi smirked, "I will do my best to endure this indignity, Hokage-sama."

"Good, good. You may go now." She said, shuffling the papers on her desk.

He turned to leave, opening his mouth.

"Don't tell me," She interrupted dryly, "Sakura plans to quit too, but is too afraid to do it?"

Itachi laughed, then nodded.

"Tell her she's retired as well." Tsunade signed something absently, "But also that I still expect her to come out for drinks every now and then."

"Very well, Hokage-sama."

"And stop acting so servile, it gets on my nerves."

"As you say, Hokage-sama."

"Out of my office."

xxxxxxxx

The monument for fallen heroes looked a little smaller, maybe, but it hadn't changed much since Itachi had last seen it.

Rain slid over the polished stone, washing away the dust that had gathered, each name now clearly engraved for all to see.

Sakura stepped forward, watching the man with the chisel work, her expression making it clear she was holding back tears.

The man straightened up, blowing dust away from the new name he had just engraved, admiring his work with a proud nod.

 _Uchiha Sasuke_  was now written with the rest of his family, in between  _Uchiha Shisui_  and  _Uchiha Obito._

Around the back had already been written,  _Yamanaka Ino._

Itachi pulled Sakura into a hug, tears in his own eyes as he looked down at his little brother's name in stone, proclaiming and celebrating him as a hero.

"He's finally atoned." Sakura murmured to him, returning the hug.

"He never really had anything to atone for." Itachi said quietly, "Not in my eyes."


	25. New Lives and Memorial Stones

Anko knocked on the door. She waited a few seconds, bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently, then started rapping on the door loudly and irritatingly.

Konoha's characteristic breeze had died down and now summer was almost tangible in the stiff, heavy air. The sky was bright and orange as the sun started to set, casting a peaceful golden glow upon the village.

Decorations from the latest festival still littered the Uchiha grounds, deflated paper lamps and streamers tangled in the bushes, all reminders of the intense, jubilant celebrations that had been taking place as Uzumaki Naruto was finally named Tsunade's successor.

The buzz of insects thrummed, every flower housing some kind of chirping creature that added to the song of the garden.

Anko heard a burst of children's laughter and grinned to herself as thudding footsteps grew louder.

The door swung open.

Two children stared up at her.

The eldest, Ino, immediately dropped into a tiny bow, nudging the other who complied slowly, giggling.

"Hello Anko-san." Ino said importantly, puffing her small chest out, clearly proud to be the adult of the two of them. She had the same tear troughs as her father, dark hair and big black eyes. She had recently activated her Sharingan, which meant she never stopped talking about it. She was quite tall for a four year old and had the personality of an old woman already. The whole village was buzzing about her mere existence. Sakura had been assured that Uchihas only developed Sharingan while under great emotional distress, so to have her little girl's eyes suddenly turn red whilst throwing a tantrum had been a shock.

Sasuke, the second youngest, gazed at his big sister with a mixture of adoration and awe. He had his father's colouring, dark hair and matching eyes, but his nature was all Sakura. At three years old, he knew more words than Anko did but was too shy to ever say them. Sakura proudly said he was born to be a scholar.

"Hey there brats." Anko beamed down at them. Ino blushed darkly, hiding behind Sasuke.

More footsteps sounded behind them.

Sakura came into view, her expression inquisitive as she saw the scene at the front door. She put a hand on her hip and grinned at Anko, raising her eyebrows.

"My, my…" She said ruefully, shaking her head, "Is that alcohol I see?"

Anko looked innocently at the bottle in her hand, "Huh. So it is."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "You  _know_  I can't drink," she pointed at her bulging stomach, "Tsunade-sama says it hurts the baby's development."

"As if that woman doesn't fall asleep with a bottle of sake in her arms!" Anko looked put out, "And you know your boring husband is probably too busy pruning the bushes out back to join me in sharing this!"

Sakura looked cagey, making Anko suspect she had hit the nail rather squarely on the head.

"What do you think, kids? Would you like to see Auntie Anko get drunk and silly?" She waved the bottle at the kids, a mischievous grin on her face.

"I hardly think that appropriate." Ino tried to pout, but the word 'silly' had obviously intrigued her.

"I want to see!" Sasuke squealed suddenly, peeking out from behind his sister, "Show me!"

"Anko, please do not wave alcohol in my children's faces." Itachi said dryly, coming out of the living room, Manami cradled in his arms.

Sakura supressed a laugh and affectionately rested her head on Itachi's shoulder. He planted a kiss on top of her head.

Manami, the newest child, was around a year and some months old. She had a sweet, cherubic face with mischievous green eyes and pink curls. She reached out with her chubby hand and patted her mother's face, quite by accident. Sakura returned the favour, poking her cheek gently. Manami giggled and clapped her hands together.

"Is Kakashi coming over?" Sakura asked, her hand unconsciously rubbing her stomach.

Anko gave a nonchalant shrug, as if she didn't care either way.

"How would I know?" She made a face.

Sakura and Itachi exchanged amused glances.

"Hmm," Sakura pretended to think, "Maybe because the two of you are seeing each other?"

Anko paled instantly, looking caught out, "No!"

"Very well," Itachi smirked, absently bouncing Manami up and down, "As a neutral party, have you any idea if Kakashi is attending or not?"

Anko paused, "Um… yeah, he's coming." She gave in, shrugging, "I suppose it was time you guys found out anyway…"

"Found out?" Sakura repeated, amused, "Anko, we've known ever since it started!"

"What, since the night with the whisky –" Anko started to say, wide-eyed.

"Not in front of the impressionable children," Sakura said quickly, raising her eyebrows meaningfully, "But yes, ever since the night you two got very  _silly_  at Naruto and Hinata's wedding."

Anko grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head, "It's not serious."

"We assumed that." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" Anko knocked her fist against Sakura's head lightly, ignoring Ino's gasp and Sasuke's giggle, "Are you saying I am incapable of commitment?"

Sakura pretended to think, rubbing her head, "Hmm… Yes."

"Humph," Anko scowled, pouting, "Well, we can't all stay at home and churn out babies."

Sakura shot her a dangerous look, "You would be a  _terrifying_ mother."

"Aw, you think so? Hey kids, who wants to hear about the time I escaped from a bunch of bandits by disguising myself as a prostitute and seducing my way into a –"

"Anko." Itachi said, his mild expression belied by his severe tone, "No wild stories."

"I can't promise anything once we break this out," Anko declared, holding the bottle aloft, "But OK, buzz-kill, no fun in this house, I get it, I get it."

Itachi sighed, rolling his eyes. He left the room still holding Manami, Sasuke following him happily asking, "Daddy, what's a prostitute?"

Ino regarded Anko with suspicion, then sniffed disdainfully.

"Anko, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't poison the children's minds too much." Sakura said mock-sternly, spoiling the effect by grinning.

"Are you kidding?" Anko seized Ino and tossed her in the air with one hand, catching her with unnatural ease, "I plan to steal this one and raise her as my own."

Ino squealed with laughter, for once acting like the kid she really was, not the solemn old woman she tried to be.

"Right, Ino-chan, would you mind taking Auntie Anko's present into the kitchen for me?" Sakura bent down and smiled at her daughter.

She wriggled out of Anko's arms and held a chubby hand out expectantly. Anko made a  _tuh_  sound of disapproval, but handed it over without complaint.

She held it up to her chest carefully and waddled off, looking important.

Sakura winked at Anko, "So, you and Kakashi, huh?"

Anko glared at her, "I never judged you when you started dating Mr Grumpy and everyone else was freaking out over it!"

"Yeah, but that was different," Sakura said mischievously, "An S-rank missing nin is nothing compared to legendary lech that is Hatake Kakashi."

"I think I preferred you when you were angsty and brooding." Anko scowled.

"Well, that's motherhood for you." Sakura said lightly, holding out her arms to indicate her swollen stomach, "Suddenly your world shrinks to almost nothing but babies and finances, your job and food. And this little one makes me crave chocolate, so how could I brood when I'm on a diet of sweets?"

Sakura and Itachi had been reduced to this disgusting display of domesticity, Anko thought sourly. Where was her friend who used to come watch her get shit-faced as a gesture of solidarity whenever she got dumped? Nowadays she just made a face and was either too busy at the hospital or one of the kids needed to be dropped off somewhere and Itachi was busy and –  _argh_ , Anko was lonely, dammit! Kakashi was hardly around and when he was it was usually a matter of, "Oh God, how can someone lose that much blood and still be alive?"

So yeah, maybe she and Kakashi had gotten a little domestic together as well, cleaning each other's wounds, sharpening their weapons together, even sparring occasionally. So what? It didn't make her a tamed wildcat like Sakura, a woman content with her boring, peaceful life as a nurse despite her ability to shatter mountains. Or worse, a whipped dog like Itachi who, frankly, would do anything for his family to an  _embarrassing_  degree.

"But you  _are_ gonna go back to being a shinobi one day, right?" Anko asked, worried, "I mean, after the brats are all grown up."

"No," Sakura said with a smile, "I don't think so. And we've had this conversation before."

"Yeah, but you keep saying  _no._ " Anko said sharply, "I'm starting to think you mean it."

Sakura sighed, still smiling. She smoothed her hands over her stomach, "Really? Good. I don't know if you've somehow forgotten already, but I didn't have the best time as a shinobi. I didn't  _like_ being a shinobi. I don't ever want to go back to that. I'm unbelievably happy as a nurse, you have no idea how happy. I don't want to be a shinobi again because that would mean  _killing_  people again. I don't want to go off on a mission one day and never come home again. I don't want my kids to go without me, or my husband to have to cope on his own."

"He could come back too. He's such a valuable asset –"

"No," Sakura said coldly, "He's my husband. He's not a weapon for Konoha to pick up and wield when they like. He's been fighting since he was an infant, and he never truly wanted to. He's finally living as he always dreamed, in peace. If anyone has a problem with that then they can take it up with me. Neither of us are going to return, I've already refused Naruto's offer."

Anko remembered the day Sakura had informed her she was pregnant with Ino. Well, sort of.

" _Anko?" Sakura passed her another bottle of sake with a nervous, twitching smile, "You like Itachi now, right?"_

_Anko paused in her drinking to eye Itachi menacingly where he was sitting next to Sakura at the bar, "…'S'alright," She admitted, slurring, "Fuckin' stick in the mud, though…"_

" _Great! So if I said I'm pregnant with his child, you would be happy for me, right?" Sakura said brightly._

_Anko's hand halted in mid-air, about to tip the bottle up to pour more sake down her throat. She stayed like that for ten seconds, frozen, before she apparently roared and knocked the bar down in her attempt to murder Itachi._

Anko looked as though she was going to argue for a moment, then sighed, "I just miss you, that's all. I'll be in the kitchen getting a drink, OK?"

Sakura pulled her into a hug, "Thanks for always being there for me when no one else was, Anko."

Anko hugged her back, harder, "No problem, kiddo. I ain't going anywhere."

Then she coughed and pulled away, looking horribly awkward, "Yeah… I'll be in the kitchen."

Sakura laughed, watching her go with fond look.

A lazy rap at the door made her grin knowingly and she ran to answer it.

Kakashi stood at the door, leaning against the porch wall, looking immensely casual.

"Yo." He greeted her, a bottle of wine under his arm.

"Why did you bring two bottles?" Sakura asked him, relieving him of his burden with a mournful look. Not being able to drink or walk around too much or eat certain foods was driving her crazy.

"I didn't." Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

"Don't you and Anko count as a collective unit now?" Sakura gave him a mock-confused look, inwardly smirking, "She's already here, she brought white wine."

Kakashi went very still.

"…I see." He said finally, "You know, then?"

"You were very, very obvious about it. Now do I get a hug or not?"

He eyed her stomach warily and sort of eased into an awkward, one-armed embrace, clearly not wanting to squash the baby.

Sakura could still remember the day she'd told him about being pregnant for the first time.

" _Kakashi-sensei," Sakura fidgeted nervously, biting her lip. He just looked back at her blankly until she made flapping motions towards her stomach and said, "I'm sort of pregnant…"_

" _Sort of." He had replied in tones of absolute horror, "_ _ **Pregnant.**_ _"_

_Then his gaze had drifted from her stomach, to the red-faced, humiliated Itachi and back until he shook his head rapidly, "Oh! No, I don't want to think about it! Urgh! Mental images!"_

xxxxxxxx

Ino's grave was beautiful. Her mother had carried so many flowers at the funeral procession that her face was almost completely covered by blossom, white carnations dripping over the sides of the bouquet, a clinging green plant winding around the stems, lilies dominating the bunch. Now, Ino's gravestone was marble, polished daily, standing out from the duller, forgotten graves surrounding it. Her parents brought down fresh flowers just at the right time, their expertise telling them just when the last batch had begun to droop. It was a good thing they did as to Sakura, there was nothing sadder than the sight of neglected, wilting flowers littering a graveside.

"Hi, Ino," She greeted the stone cheerfully. She heard Ino's voice say in the back of her mind, quite clearly,  _why are you talking to a grave, you freak? You look weird, people will call you the crazy girl with the forehead for the rest of your life._  Of course, it was just her imagination, but she welcomed it all the same.

"I missed you again," Sakura admitted, "You and Sasuke. Hope you're giving him hell, wherever the two of you are. So yeah," She gave an embarrassed laugh, "I'm pregnant again. I know. Ha, sorry I've not been down to see you for a while, life's been getting pretty hectic. I'm just a little bit worried about Itachi. He insisted he wanted to be a househusband, stay at home and look after the baby, but recently... he's been getting fidgety. It can't be easy for him, to go from being an S-ranked ninja to not fighting at all. I've had an easier time of it, I've still got friends to train with to keep my skills sharp and I love my job at the hospital, but he's not been near a kunai since we retired."

She bent down and placed her own bouquet down, unwrapping it from the plastic and beginning to cut the stems neatly so the flowers were all the same size. Even if she hadn't had Ino's parents to show her how to do it, she was sure she would still be an expert at arranging flowers at a grave because she'd brought so many bunches down over the years. She even had her own vase to use.

Life had been so, so hard at first. Itachi wasn't evil, she knew that, he was getting used to the idea and a handful of people had just been told the truth, but to everyone else, he was murdering scum, a traitor to his own kind, likely to turn around and massacre the whole village if left unchecked.

_Sakura had just given birth to Ino (no other name seemed more appropriate than that of her late best friend) when a woman came up to her on the street, clutched her arm and stared at her fearfully._

" _You need to escape," She had said, looking terrified, "Take the little one and run."_

_Sakura had been appalled and bewildered, asking the old woman what was wrong over and over, but the woman had just shaken her head and repeated her warning until eventually she broke, still looking afraid._

" _You poor thing… you've been abused by that monster all your life, and now he's got a child on you, and forced you to marry him as well… You know what he thinks of family, Sakura-san. Get out before he turns on you as he did his own clan. One day that little one will develop her Sharingan, and he'll see her as a threat, just like his poor, grieving brother."_

_Sakura had stared at the woman, speechless with outrage, and ripped her arm away, running home holding Ino tightly the whole way._

It had taken a full year after that and an official, public pardon from Tsunade, until the people Konoha finally began to realise Itachi's true nature and Sakura stopped receiving sympathetic or horrified looks on the street.

Before that, Itachi had simply stayed at home, claiming to be content in just her company and taking care of Ino while her mother worked. But after leaving the house a few times with Sakura, going out for a meal or taking a walk, he eventually settled into living a normal life with her, able to exchange pleasantries with the neighbours, and smile at strangers without them wetting themselves in fright.

Itachi and Sakura received presents on their birthday every year from an unknown, foreign messenger, often with a card that complimented one of the children's latest accomplishments. When Itachi had shaken his head and muttered, "Kisame," Sakura had been prepared to go out on a mission to bring him down, expecting him to want revenge, but Itachi had calmed her down, telling her that Kisame was not a friend or an enemy. He was something in between.

Since then, Sakura accepted the cards and presents with a wry, regretful smile, and Itachi carefully kept everything he sent to them in a box under their bed.

They did not live in the Uchiha Compound. Sakura understood perfectly why Itachi could never hope to build a new life there. It was filled with the ghosts of his tragic past. Some houses still bore the stains of his gruesome task.

Naruto had been talking about knocking the whole Compound down and building a shrine to the Uchiha's honour, but Itachi had requested that if this was to come to pass, that it not happen until his death. He couldn't bear for everything of his past to be completely wiped out.

Sakura had been prepared to rent a small flat with her savings from her chuunin career. She had  _not_  expected Tsunade to release the entirety of the Uchiha clan's wealth to Itachi, as he was the last remaining member, or for him to buy them a house right next to the Nara Forest.

"Um, hi." Iruka said, popping up from nowhere, standing a respectful distance away, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Iruka, how are you?" Sakura asked somewhat awkwardly. She had never been as close to Iruka as Naruto, and had considered him somewhat inferior to Itachi in terms of teaching.

"I'm very well, thank you." He smiled gently at her. He'd once confessed to Naruto that he felt he had failed Sakura, not noticing she appeared to have an outside source of knowledge she ought not to, and had agonized over his mistake when the 'truth' was revealed. Sakura knew this – Naruto was terrible at keeping secrets, except for the one contained in his stomach – and wished she could take away his guilt, apparently still evident even after the  _real_  truth had come out.

"I'm guessing you didn't die of pride after all?" Sakura teased him.

He looked surprised, then flushed darkly, "Um, well…"

When Naruto had been announced as the next Hokage, Iruka had openly sobbed with happiness and gotten drunk with Kakashi, then burst into the Hokage tower and declared to all present that Naruto would be the best Hokage that ever lived, much to Naruto's embarrassment and joy.

"I wasn't going to say this, not here anyway, I was going to visit you in your house… but I have a proposition for you." Iruka said abruptly, shifting about, his flowers shaking in the wind.

"I'm a married woman!" Sakura gasped, feigning outrage.

Iruka's blush turned purple and he nearly fell over in his shock, "No – n-no  _way_ , that isn't at  _all_  what I was – um… You're joking, aren't you? Right. Of course you are." His fingers rubbed across the bridge of his nose, his blush receding, "I was going to suggest that Itachi… begin training to become a teacher in the Academy."

Sakura, who had been about to savagely defend her husband's right to remain retired, was left feeling confused, "What?"

Iruka seemed to gain confidence, "I know he taught you very well. Naruto was hoping he'd go back to being a jounin, join the Anbu maybe, but I thought, if he's got some spare time, perhaps he'd be better suited to teaching genin… We do need new teachers for all kinds of new subjects that Naruto is implementing, and I think he would do well in taijutsu, or well, genjutsu, or specialised classes for students with kekkei genkai, or perhaps –"

Sakura tuned out Iruka's excited babbling, clutching the flowers she'd been trimming, thinking  _this is it!_

And Ino said distinctly and in tones of exasperation in the back of Sakura's mind:  _duh._

xxxxxxxx

After searching the house from top to bottom and finding both Itachi and Manami missing, Sakura had extended her search to the park, the training grounds, the Hokage's office and finally…

"I thought I might find you here." Sakura said triumphantly, trying not to sound too worn out after her long trek around Konoha.

Itachi stood holding Manami, facing the memorial stone. He turned to smile at his wife, "Did you really?"

It was a cloudy, grey day with a hint of the coming rain on the wind, the atmosphere around them damp and cold.

Sakura had enlisted the children's help in finding their daddy, and now Sasuke was jumping up and down on the spot excitedly and Ino was beaming at him (eternally a daddy's girl).

"Iruka has a proposition for you." She informed him.

Itachi's interest perked up, "Oh really?"

"How would you like to be a teacher at the Academy?" Sakura asked.

Itachi's smile fell. He bounced Manami up and down in his arms softly, making her giggle delightedly.

He took his time replying.

"The last time I taught someone, it didn't turn out very well."

"I'll pretend that wasn't a thinly-veiled slight against my education," Sakura sniffed, "I've just been to see Naruto in his office. He's been working on some reforms, and he wants to create some new subjects for the Academy students to learn. One of them is going to be called 'Morals & Philosophy,' and he wondered if you would be interested in making sure the future generation of Konoha's shinobi are the best yet."

Itachi paused, clearly thinking.

"I wouldn't be teaching them how to kill?"

Ino looked bemused by the whole conversation, but little Sasuke was just trying to get his dad's attention, beaming at him.

"Nope. How to think."

Itachi ruffled Manami's hair, absently murmuring something to her. Sakura gripped Sasuke's hand, hoping and praying that Itachi would see this was best for him…

"What about the kids?"

"Anko's free to babysit anytime. I'm joking, don't look at me like that! My mother would love to look after them if we're both working the same days." Sakura replied, pushing Sasuke's hand away from his nose.

Itachi gazed at her, looking conflicted, "Do you think I could teach children about  _morality?_ " He asked incredulously.

"Yes," Sakura said firmly, "You are probably the most moral person I've ever met," then she thought about it and added, "Except for Lee."

But Itachi was looking at the ground, his lips tightening into a hard line. He wouldn't meet her eyes when he said, "I don't have the right to teach anyone."

Sakura made a noise of disgust and let go of Ino's hand to lightly poke his forehead. He looked up, startled. Manami let out a gurgle of surprise.

"Remember?" She asked, smiling.

Itachi stared at her, wide-eyed, "The first time we met?"

She nodded, "Everyone teased me about my forehead. You just poked it and made me feel better about myself with just a few words. Who knows, I might have fallen in love with you all those years ago, when I was a silly six year old with an intelligent, kind, secret sensei in the forest."

"Don't tell anyone," Sakura said in a low voice, "but you were the best sensei I ever had."

Itachi buried his face in his arm, looking away, Manami on his hip.

Sakura moved closer, touching his arm, "You did more for me than anyone else. You taught me to keep me safe, you fought for me and you saved me. And I saved you back. I could never think of you of anything but the best sensei, Itachi. Please, at least consider this. I really think you would be great."

Itachi reached out to touch the memorial stone, his hand hovering over Sasuke's engraved name, "Morality," He whispered bitterly, "I'm hardly an ideal preacher of ethics."

"Look at me," Sakura demanded. He turned around, surprised. She gave him a sweet smile, "I'm not a fool, am I? And I  _know_  you. I know how you think, why you did what you did. I'm telling you, you would be the best teacher those kids could ever hope for, and I know from  _experience_."

Itachi sighed, closing his eyes. Then he looked up at her with a smile of his own and said, "Well, I made a point of marrying the smartest woman in the village for a reason, didn't I?"

"Damn straight." Sakura winked at him.

Itachi's shoulders relaxed, the tension from his body disappearing in an instant.

He finally noticed his son trying and failing to gain his attention, and swooped upon him, grabbing him with his free arm, juggling the two youngest kids, much to their delight.

Ino's bottom lip quivered when she realised she was being left out, but Sakura quickly scooped her up and blew a raspberry on her little stomach, making her shriek.

Itachi glanced at the memorial stone, then at his children. He smiled, his gaze softening, and he made to walk down the path to home.

Sakura allowed Ino to climb onto her shoulders in order to read the names on the memorial starting at the top, her mother holding on tight to her small legs.

She found Sasuke's name on the list and touched it carefully, smiling sadly.

"Uchiha Sas… um, Sas-uke." Ino sounded out the name, stumbling over the pronunciation.

"Sas _uke_ ," Sakura corrected gently, "Do you remember who that is?"

"Yeah!" Ino said proudly, "Daddy's little brother!"

"That's right!" Sakura grinned upwards at her daughter, "My little genius. That's Uncle Sasuke. But he wasn't just Daddy's little brother, Ino-chan, he was one of my best friends."

"Like the Kage." Ino chimed in knowledgably.

" _Ho_ kage, yes, just like Naruto. When you're older, sweetheart, I'll tell you all about Uncle Sasuke, OK?"

"Sure!" Ino agreed, just as she did when asked any question at all.

Sakura looked down the path, where Itachi held her other children and a small, private smile just for her, and felt her heart swell with happiness.

She felt truly content for the first time since she was twelve.

 _I hope you don't mind all of this, Sasuke_ , she thought,  _me being with Itachi, everything. I hope you understand, wherever you are._

Ino looked intently at the memorial stone, "Look Mummy!" She gasped, "Daddy's reflection!"

Sakura looked at the marble quickly, but saw nothing but neat rows of names of lost heroes.

"Gone." Ino frowned.

"Never mind, Ino-chan… tell you what, how about we go over my medical textbooks tonight seeing as I have the night off for a change?" Sakura suggested, giving Itachi a little wave to keep him patiently waiting.

"Yeah!" Ino cheered.

_See you later, Sasuke._

Sakura sped up to join her family, Ino giggling on her shoulders.

The wind blew a little harder. The sunlight streaked through the leaves in a dappled pattern, rippling over the memorial stone's shiny surface, playing over the carved names.


End file.
